Using a dummy or pacifier
The decision on whether to use, and continue to use a dummy, is
completely up to you. It's a topic that everyone has an opinion on,
and often won't hesitate to share it with you!
At The Sleep Store, we support parents decision to use a dummy.
We have used them with both our boys. Tom had one from as soon
as he was feeding OK and still has one at 18 months for falling
asleep. From early on he learned to settle in the
night with his dummy rather than a feed. From 7 weeks he slept
through the night, with his dummy to fall asleep and needing
neither his dummy in the night or a night-feed.
So using a dummy can be a fabulous tool to help settle your baby
and many babies continue to use one and sleep through the
night.
Research has also shown using a dummy significantly reduces the
risk of SIDS, which is always handy to tell people if they share
their negative opinion about dummies!
However a baby can become very dependant on a dummy, and cry out
for you to replace it during the night. If you are getting up
several times a night to replace a dummy, then it may be time to
get rid of it!
Here's some information on how to use a dummy with your baby,
tips to ensure your baby doesn't become dependent on one, as well
as some ideas for weaning off a dummy when it's time to do so:
Newborn babies:
- Many newborn babies love to suck, and you will find sucking can
really help them to settle. You can use the breast or
your little finger to suck on. The benefit of a dummy is that it
means baby can fall asleep in their bed, rather than on you. And
separating settling from feeding means you can follow the
essential feed/play/sleep routine from early on.
- Don't feel bad if you choose to give your newborn a dummy! It's
your right to choose to use a dummy. It's a great idea to help
your baby stop crying and settle easily if it's sucking she
needs.
- Many babies are not coordinated to suck their fingers until
they are 3-5 months old, even if they sucked their fingers in the
confined space of your womb. Keeping their hands out to suck can be
counter-productive if the startle reflex means baby waves his arms
around and wakes himself up.
- You can use a dummy while your baby is swaddled, which is a
very effective combination. Over time change to wrapping with one
arm out, so baby can either suck fingers or put dummy in
himself.
- Dummy use can reduce the risk of SIDS.
- We recommend NUK pacifiers, as they are small, orthodontically
shaped and babies seem to like them best.
- Try settling your baby for a sleep or two each day without the
dummy, but do use it when you need to.
- Using a dummy can help reduce the number of night feeds
and eventually give up night feeds. Offer a dummy before offering a
feed in the night. If your baby will settle with the dummy, then it
was sucking rather than hunger she was after.
- Never dip the dummy in anything to make it taste better!
- Never force a baby to take a dummy if she doesn't want it.
- If you are keen to wean your baby off a dummy before the habit
gets too established, start to reduce use by about 3-4 months.
Babies 4-12 months
- Many babies still love to suck at this age and it can make
getting your baby to sleep much easier..
- The sucking to sleep habit/sleep association starts to
form at about 4-5 months, so wean off the dummy before
then if you want to get rid of it.
- Your baby can continue to use a dummy and sleep through the
night, but this means she needs to learn to put it
back in herself.
- If you keep putting a dummy back in during the night, you
reinforce to your baby that she needs you to put it in (and that
she needs it to fall back to sleep).
- We suggest you let your baby try to self settle without the
dummy before you go in during the night. How long you leave her
depends on her age, but at least 10 minutes for a 4 month old
baby is a good idea. (Watch your clock, 10 minutes of crying will
feel like 60 minutes!!).
- You can use a dummy while your baby is swaddled, which is a
very effective combination. Over time change to wrapping with one
arm out, so baby can either suck fingers or put dummy in
himself.
- Take the dummy out once your baby is falling asleep or asleep,
to avoid her needing it in to stay asleep.
- Keep dummy use to sleep times only.
- Keep dummy use limited to in the cot.
- Occasionally get your baby to settle without the dummy (the
morning sleep is usually the easiest) ..... you may find the habit
is not as strong as you think, and your baby may be asleep after
only 10 minutes of crying.
- Only use the dummy when your baby is the car or pushchair if it
is a routine sleep time. This reinforces that you want your baby to
sleep and can make it much easier to stick to your routine when you
are out and about.
- Teach your baby to put her dummy back in during the day.
- If you are going to continue to use a dummy, you can attach the
dummy to her muslin or blankie, or put a couple in the cot to make
it easier for her to find during the night.
If you are keen to get rid off the dummy, here are some
options:
- Use the tips above to start with, such as limiting use to
sleeping and taking it out once she is falling asleep/asleep.
- Replace the dummy with a comfort blankie, so your
baby still has something suck on, easy to find in the
night and nice to cuddle.
- Use the 'Pantley Pull-Off' technique described
in The No Cry Sleep Solution for
Babies. This is a gentle, gradual withdrawal
method which involves slowly teaching your baby to fall asleep
without needing to suck (breast, bottle or dummy).
- Go cold turkey at bedtime and during the night - just stop
putting the dummy back in during the night and use another
technique to settle your baby.
- Make a small hole in the end of the dummy, so it is less
satisfying to suck on. Over the next week cut a little more off the
dummy each night, until there is nothing to suck on. If you use
this option, ensure that there are no loose pieces that your baby
could suck right off and inhale or swallow.
Toddlers
- If your toddler has used a dummy since birth, the sucking
to sleep habit/sleep association will be very well established by
now
- Your toddler can continue to use a dummy and learn to
sleep through the night, but this means she needs to
learn to put it back in herself.
- We recommend you do not go in during the night to
replace your toddler's dummy. Any child over the age of about 9
months can definitely learn to put it back in themself.
- If you keep putting a dummy back in during the night, you
reinforce to your toddler that she needs you to put it in (and that
she needs it to fall back to sleep).
- Take the dummy out once your toddler is falling asleep or
asleep, to avoid her needing it in to stay asleep.
- Keep dummy use to sleep times only.
- Keep dummy use limited to in the cot.
- Only use the dummy when your toddler is the car or
pushchair if it is a routine sleep time. This reinforces that you
want your toddler to sleep and can make it much easier to
stick to your routine when you are out and about.
- If you are going to continue to use a dummy, you can put a
couple in the cot or bed to make it easier for her to find during
the night.
- Using a nightlight can make it easier for your toddler
to find her dummy in the night.
- It is recommended to stop using a dummy by age 2 to prevent any
damage to your child's teeth.
If you are keen to get rid off the dummy, here are some
options:
- Start by using the tips above, such as limiting use to sleeping
and taking it out once she is falling asleep/asleep.
- Replace the dummy with a comfort blankie so your
toddler still has something to suck on and the blankie will be
helpful with self settling.
- Use the 'Pantley Pull-Off' technique described in
The No Cry Sleep Solution for
Toddlers. This is a gentle, gradual withdrawel
method which involves slowly teaching your toddler to fall
asleep without needing to suck (breast, bottle or dummy).
- Go cold turkey at bedtime and during the night - just stop
putting the dummy back in during the night and use another
technique to settle your baby.
- Make a small hole in the end of the dummy, so it is less
satisfying to suck on. Over the next week cut a little more off the
dummy each night, until there is nothing to suck on. If you use
this option, ensure that there are no loose pieces that your baby
could suck right off and inhale or swallow.
- If your toddler is over about 2, you could use the 'dummy
fairy' to take the dummies to a new baby (ie throw them away). The
dummy fairy can leave a small toy or something you know your
toddler will appreciate in return for the dummies.
- If your toddler is over about 3, you could use a star chart or
some other reward system to reward her for not needing it at a
sleep or nap time.
- I found a painless way to wean my Jack from using a dummy when
he was about 2 1/2. (He only used it at bedtime, as we had gone
cold turkey for all day dummy use at about 18 months). This
technique took a few weeks but involved very little drama and
crying. I decided not to replace any damaged
dummies, gradually hid them or threw them away. Each
time I told Jack I was throwing it away eg 'your red dummy is
broken and no good, so I am throwing it away'. He accepted that
each one was gone and got used to just cuddling his special toy at
bedtime.
- If throwing away a dummy, as above, just deal with the
tantrum if one results.... but at least your toddler will
see that that particular dummy is no longer
available.
- Don't keep buying more dummies for your toddler and avoid
anywhere in the supermarket/pharmacy etc that she can see more are
available - at least unti she is sleeping well without one.
Content supplied by Louise Tanguay of The Sleep Store.
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