Our little miracle

We went through the Sperm Donor Programme process since we did not qualify for the IVF due to my weight being too high, I was going to have to lose over 30kgs, and I was only 110kg, before we would be funded. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was the right one for us.

After lots of bloods and a dummy run we were inseminated and the Two Week Wait started, we had to wait two weeks until we could test either blood or urine. I did a sneaky prego test on the Sunday before the 2 weeks and a very faint line came up, so I was excited. I called the clinic to have it confirmed with a blood test, by now the sore and swollen boobies had kicked it. When I rang for my results I was gutted. My HCG level was 25 and my progesterone level was 5. The nurse told me that I would miscarry in the next couple of days cos my hormones were too low to keep the pregnancy viable. They said I was having a chemical pregnancy, but they never explained what it was. The internet is a wonderful thing, so I researched it and found out what it was. Not that it made me feel any better.

So as you can imagine I was so upset, I had conceived and was pregnant but I was going to lose it. Went through an emotional rollercoaster for the next few days, I started to spot on that Thursday and Friday, then it stopped and nothing. And in my experience with my last miscarriage in 1997, that’s not what the bleeding looked like. I was due to have my levels rechecked on Monday so I held a little bit of hope that maybe “bean” was fighting to stay with me.

I had my blood test on Monday, HCG levels had jumped to 236 and my progesterone to 18. All in five days. The nurse said that my progesterone levels should be at 100 by this stage. So I had to go see Greg, the specialist on the Wednesday to talk about what to do, cos there is a possibility that I could lose it still or I could carry it full term. So at this stage I was still pregnant after thinking I had lost it. Again I was on the internet looking up the normal range for HCG levels and Progesterone Levels and mine are all within the normal ranges, as long as I have over 10 progesterone and my HCG keeps doubling then things should be fine. I have kind of lost all faith in the clinic at this point. So now I was 5 ½ weeks (LMP) and 3 weeks (DPO).

Went to the specialist, my levels had gone up again, but not as fast as they should be. So they were sure that I would miscarry, and there was nothing they could do about it. I had to have bloods on Monday to check the levels cos they were sure that they will start dropping by then. I asked to have an ultra sound to look at what was going on. According to the ultrasound it is a normal 5th week pregnancy, the uterus lining is thickening and there is a gestational sac, but you can’t see the embryo yet. I thought they are wrong, and wouldn't give up hope till I hear my levels are dropping or I start bleeding. The baby has made it to 6 weeks (LMP) and the next few days will be the tell tale ones as this is when the heart begins to develop and start beating.

Had my bloods on Monday, and the results showed that my levels had risen to 1,067, but my progesterone had dropped to 17. And still they are convinced, Friday came along and my levels are still rising, they were at 2,976, and my progesterone had dropped another point to 16. They didn’t know why they were still rising, so they booked me in for a U/S on Saturday. I thought this would be good, will know either way. Saturday rolled around and the scan showed a 6mm sac, I don’t know if anything was in it cos the doctor never told me. The confirmed again that it wasn’t an Eptopic, but they were still sure that I would lose it.

The weekend was an emotional rollercoaster, from crying my eyes out, to denial and back to crying my eyes out. The doctor says it just a matter of time, it should start this week. More bloods on Tuesday. So confused, emotionally and mentally tired and just wanting it over and done with. I know that may sound so horrible, but the not knowing when is way worse. I just wish it would happen and I could move on.

My bloods on Tuesday showed that my levels are still rising and doubling at that!! I had confused the specialists at the Clinic. So it’s more bloods on Monday and then another U/S on Tuesday.

The 8 week appointment started off with a lot of tears and ended in a lot of tears. They were already to do an D & C cos they were convinced that there was nothing there, I said I didn’t want to have one, I’d prefer it to go naturally, but he told me that it might take weeks and it would be best 'cos then they could also check if it was an eptopic. So tears were every where by this stage. They told me they would have a look on the U/S to see what was going on.
Before they even told me I could see for myself, there was a heartbeat pulsing away. Tears started again, this time tears of joy!!! They said “well after putting you through all that shit, you have a baby”. I saw my little bean not that you can make much out. The heart beat measured 156. A good, strong one. Doc was concerned about the size, cos it’s only measuring 6 weeks, however it is only 6 weeks old really, it was six weeks ago today that I was inseminated, so really it’s right, even though I am classed as 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant cos of the LMP.

They told me he’d never seen this, and I took joy in knowing that my gut feeling was right. However I am still high risk and I needed to be scanned every week, and take progesterone suppositories (eww).

Went back for another scan on the Monday and our little bean had grown to 18mm and the heartbeat is 186. Everything was looking great and I am so blessed. Everything still seems so surreal to me at the moment. I had to go back the next week for another scan, but it was looking all good!!!! YIPEE!!

The next scan showed bean had grown to 25.4mm and heartbeat was strong at 174bpm. I was officially discharged from the clinic and now am solely under the care of my midwife! After all that stress we have come out the other side with a healthy baby growing inside me.
Our beautiful baby girl was born on the 11/02/06, happy & healthy!! Now, the Clinic claims she is a miracle and they are all over us.

My advice to mums-to-be, listen to your gut!!