Walk the talk
You are your child's first and best teacher, and when it
comes to imparting strong, positive values, you have a golden
opportunity to lead by example. Katherine Granich
explains.
All parents want their children to grow up with a highly
developed moral compass. That is, we hope to raise children who
exhibit characteristics like honesty, respect for others,
compassion, and a desire to help those less fortunate. But how do
we impart these values to our offspring, when we ourselves are so
busy with the rigorous demands of modern life? Here are 10 simple
ways to bring positive values into your family's life, right from
when your children are small.
Make a list of your family's values.
Have you ever watched Supernanny? One of her strategies for helping
families to stay on the right path is to make a poster outlining
the house rules, and post it in a prominent place, like the
kitchen. But instead of posting a list of the house rules, why not
post a list of "family values"? Write down 10 things that you
expect from members of your family - both inside the house and out
in the "real world". These could be things as simple as "Think
before you speak, because words can hurt."
Get to know your neighbours. It's
true that charity begins at home, and a great - and convenient -
place to begin teaching your child about kindness to others is to
make an effort to get to know your neighbours. Take over a plate of
cookies and introduce yourself and your child, and say that you've
been thinking that it's important for neighbours to look out for
one another. If you have elderly neighbours, make a special effort
to check on them once a week, even if it's just making sure you
wave as you see them on your way to the letterbox.
Give the gift of time. Volunteering
does take up valuable free time, we know - but the benefits your
children will reap will help to develop their compassion for
others. Places like Women's Refuge, the SPCA, and nonprofit
organisations are always in need of unpaid assistance, whether it's
serving meals, helping to pick up and drop off donations, or even
stuffing envelopes and delivering flyers.
Donate. If you truly can't find the
time to volunteer, then consider donating to a charity - not
necessarily everyone who calls, but one worthy organization that
you feel drawn to. Sponsor a needy child, save clothing and toys
that are in good condition to give to your local charity, or give
money to charity in honour of people for whom you would otherwise
be buying something.
Tell your own story. Children love
hearing about their parents' childhoods - it is so hard for them to
imagine you at their age, but it is fascinating. Surely you
experienced some moral dilemmas in your childhood? These are great
learning opportunities and an excellent way to bond with each
other. Bedtime is the perfect place to tell stories like this, as
your little one will fall asleep with the story in their head, and
process it while they sleep.
Talk about values. This might seem a
bit ridiculous when your child is just an infant, but it's never
too early to instill appropriate and positive values in them just
through speech.
Walk the talk. Live your life
according to your values - this is not the time for "Do as I say,
not as I do." Children learn by imitation and for them, it's pretty
clear when you are doing something different to what you're saying.
Think about friends - yours and theirs. Think about the company you
keep, and the people your children are exposed to every day - other
parents, coaches, playgroup leaders, teachers, caregivers,
relatives. Get to know their values and beliefs, and ensure that
what they are telling and showing your children is
appropriate.
Teach them the value of money. Money
doesn't grow on trees - especially in this economy. It's all too
easy to bribe our children with lollies and gifts to keep them
quiet or quell a tantrum in the supermarket by giving in to their
demand for biscuits. But all that does is to tell our children that
money is disposable and "easy come, easy go". Be conscious of
how they see you spending money.
Invite others to join you. Include
your child's playmates (and parents!) in your efforts in friendly
ways - invite them to come along to help you do volunteer work, or
talk to your neighbours about planting a community garden. Ask your
child's daycare or preschool about arranging a visit to the local
SPCA to find out about the work that they do on behalf of the
animals. Contact a nursing home and find out if any of the elderly
patients would enjoy visits from youngsters for an hour on the
weekend.
Katherine Granich is the editor of OHbaby!
Magazine.
References and further reading
* Children Learn What They Live, by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel
Harris. Lane Cove, NSW, Australia: Finch, 2008
* Parenting for Character: Equipping Your Child for Life, by
Andrew Mullins. Sydney: Finch, 2005
* Teach Yourself: Bringing Up Happy Children, by Glenda Weil and
Doro Marden. London: Hodder, 2008
* Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us, by Seth Godin. London: Piatkus,
2008
As seen in OHbaby!
magazine Issue 6: 2009
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