My name is Nicole. I am 23 years old, and gave birth to a baby girl Mia 3 years ago. Mia was born by c-section at 24 weeks gestation weighing only 690 grams.
My story isn't like any other, as my baby never made it to her first birthday.
My pregnancy was pretty normal up to about 3 months when I experienced bleeding. My midwife thought I may have been miscarrying but later scans showed all was well. No one ever explained to me why the complications occurred in the first place. I found out what sex my baby was and started to plan for our future as a mum, with a little girl growing inside of me.
24 weeks rolled around (Mother’s Day 2002) and again experienced bleeding. This time I was asked to meet my midwife at hospital to be admitted. A few tests later, still no answers, I became a terrified young lady, who wasn’t sure what was happening to my body, or my unborn child. I stayed in hospital for a few days and was given the all clear that after 1 more day I could go home as nothing showed up in scans.
Later that night I experienced tremendous pains and was told I was being wheeled to theatre to have my baby. Mixed emotions ran through my head, I was in shock and still can’t recall the events of that night. My partner rushed in and was there as my small helpless daughter was delivered and taken away. I saw her later that night and it stunned me to look at my daughter, so helpless and tiny fighting for her life.
Every day after that was a battle to keep her alive. It took its toll on my relationship as it was so hard for both of us to stay positive. After 35 days of fighting all that her body could take, Mia Nicole passed away. Over the next days, weeks, months, and years I think about her everyday. I wonder what she would look like ...
My relationship of five years ended soon after. I lost the only person that carried her memory. I am still with so many questions for someone, anyone. I don't think I will ever stop grieving as I'm unsure as to why it happened to me. I hear of all the success stories but what about the ones who didn't make it, like my daughter? Not all premature babies are so lucky.