Our little miracle

We went through the Sperm Donor Programme process since we did not qualify for the IVF due to my weight being too high. I would have to lose over 30kg, before we would be funded, and I was only 110kg. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was the right one for us.

After lots of blood tests and a dummy run, we were inseminated and the Two Week Wait began. I did a sneaky prego test on the Sunday before the two weeks, and a very faint line came up, so I was excited! I called the clinic to have it confirmed with a blood test - by then the sore and swollen boobies had kicked in. But when I rang for my results I was gutted. My HCG level was 25 and my progesterone level was 5. The nurse told me that I would miscarry in the next couple of days because my hormones were too low to keep the pregnancy viable. They said I was having a 'chemical pregnancy', but they never explained what that was. The internet is a wonderful thing, so I researched it and found out what it was - not that it made me feel any better.

So as you can imagine, I was incredibly upset. I had conceived and was pregnant but I was going to lose it. I went through an emotional rollercoaster for the next few days. I started to spot on that Thursday and Friday, but then it stopped and nothing happened. This spotting wasn't what my last miscarriage bleeding looked like. I was due to have my levels re-checked on Monday so I held a little bit of hope that maybe “bean” was fighting to stay with me.

The test showed that my HCG levels had jumped to 236 and my progesterone to 18. All in five days! The nurse said that my progesterone levels should be at 100 by this stage, so I had to go and see a specialist to talk about what to do since there was still a possibility that I could lose the baby. So at this stage I was still pregnant after thinking I had lost it! Again, I went on the internet looking up the normal range for HCG levels and progesterone levels and mine were all within the normal ranges. As long as I had over 10 progesterone, and my HCG kept doubling, then things should be fine. I had kind of lost all faith in the clinic at this point. By then I was 5 ½ weeks (LMP) and 3 weeks (DPO).

The specialist said my levels had gone up again, but not as fast as they should be. They were sure that I would miscarry, and there was nothing they could do about it. I had to have more blood tests to check the levels because they were sure that they would start dropping by then. I asked to have an ultra sound to look at what was going on. According to the ultrasound it was a normal 5th week pregnancy, the uterus lining was thickening and there was a gestational sac, but you couldn't see the embryo. I thought the cliinic was wrong, and i refused to give up hope until  I heard my levels were dropping or I started bleeding. The baby had made it to 6 weeks (LMP) and the next few days were the telltale ones as that's when the heart begins to develop and start beating.

More blood tests showed my levels had risen to 1,067, but my progesterone had dropped to 17. the clinic was still convinced I would miscary. Another test, my levels were still rising (2,976), and my progesterone had dropped another point to 16. They didn’t know why the levels were still rising, so they booked me in for an ultrasound. I thought, 'this would be good, now I'll be able to know either way'. The ultrasound showed a 6mm sac. The clinic confirmed again that it wasn’t an Ectopic pregnancy, but they were still sure that I would lose it.

The weekend after the ultrasound was an emotional rollercoaster,. I went from crying my eyes out, to denial, and back to crying my eyes out. The doctor said it was just a matter of time, and that a miscarriage should start that week. More blood tests, more confusion, emotional and mental exhaustion.I just wanted to have it over and done with. I know that may sound so horrible, but the not knowing part is way worse.

My blood tests showed that my levels were still rising and doubling at that!! The specialists were really puzzled.

The 8 week appointment started off with a lot of tears and ended in a lot of tears. They were ready to do a D & C because they were convinced that there was nothing there. I said I didn’t want to have one, I’d prefer it to go naturally, but the specialist told me that it might take weeks, and with a D&C they could also check whether it was an ectopic pregnancy or not. I just cried. They told me they would have a look on the ultrasound to see what was going on.
Before they even told me I could see for myself, there was a heartbeat pulsing away. More tears, this time of joy!!! They said ,“well, after putting you through all that, you have a baby”. I saw my little bean. The heart beat measured 156, a good, strong one.

They told me they'd never seen this, and I took joy in knowing that my gut feeling had been right. I was still classed as high risk though, and I needed to be scanned every week, and take progesterone suppositories (eww).

Another scan showed bean had grown to 25.4mm and heartbeat was strong at 174bpm. I was officially discharged from the clinic to the care of my midwife! After all that stress, we had come out the other side with a healthy baby growing inside me.
Our beautiful baby girl was born on the 11/02/06, happy and healthy!! The clinic claims she was a miracle.

My advice to mums-to-be, listen to your gut!!




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