OHbaby! Forums : Would you bother? https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Mon, 06 Apr 2026 13:38:59 +0000 Mon, 24 Sep 2007 18:04:34 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=10965 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Thank you guys.. you opinions...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218280&title=would-you-bother#218280 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 6:04pm

Thank you guys.. you opinions have really helped ]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 18:04:34 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218280&title=would-you-bother#218280 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Surround your child with people...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218176&title=would-you-bother#218176 Author: Kellz
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 3:17pm

Surround your child with people who love her, they dont need to be related at all to feel that, and be great positive role models!
She doesnt need to meet someone just beacuse they are related by blood when you clearly dont think he has anything to offer her, or yourself.]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 15:17:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218176&title=would-you-bother#218176 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : i say no james has never seen...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218109&title=would-you-bother#218109 Author: james
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 1:43pm

i say no james has never seen his dad and hes not missing outt on much and when the time comes james can contact him when hes ready ]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 13:43:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218109&title=would-you-bother#218109 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : I have the exact same situation,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218099&title=would-you-bother#218099 Author: Anna
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 1:12pm

I have the exact same situation, and my answer is nope. My father has not ever met my children, he knows I have two but doesn't even know their names. They are not missing out on anything.]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 13:12:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218099&title=would-you-bother#218099 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : It&#039;s going to take a lot...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218080&title=would-you-bother#218080 Author: busymum
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 12:48pm

It's going to take a lot of time and visits etc to build that relationship so you can really only do it if you yourself are keen to rebuild the relationship between you and your dad. Cause you're gonna be there whenever she visits.

Give yourself some time, babies don't recognise people from month to month until they are past 1yo. ]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:48:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218080&title=would-you-bother#218080 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : DH dad hasn&#039;t seen rhyley...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218057&title=would-you-bother#218057 Author: AnnC
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 12:32pm

DH dad hasn't seen rhyley - nor wil he probably ever (Theres issues there and so rightly so) and so i don't think its a big thing. IF rhyley choses to want to see him in years to come thats his choice.

It sounds like you feel guilty about it cause you think she might ask in years to come how come and blame you or soemthing - it won't happen. You do whats right and just when the time comes answer questions as to why not as honestly (without name calling) as you can.]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:32:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218057&title=would-you-bother#218057 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : i went through this with my daughter....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218051&title=would-you-bother#218051 Author: Snappy
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 12:22pm

i went through this with my daughter. DHs mum didnt raise him but flew in and out of his life as she pleased. We've tried to get along with her twice now but all she does is cause us grief.

she told people that our daughter smelt and that i must not be taking care of her. That was it for me!
we gave her one more chance last year but she blew it.

Wished we had never started as janaya is always pointing out at her grans house to ask if she can go there now.....]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:22:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218051&title=would-you-bother#218051 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Have you got an address for your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218027&title=would-you-bother#218027 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:40am

Have you got an address for your half-sister? Maybe send her a letter, via her mum and arrange something thru her.]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:40:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218027&title=would-you-bother#218027 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : I don&#039;t know my real grandfather...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218026&title=would-you-bother#218026 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:40am

I don't know my real grandfather on my mum's side. He walked out on my nana when my mum was 6 and it has been no great loss.

]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:40:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218026&title=would-you-bother#218026 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Yeah i know who she is and where...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218024&title=would-you-bother#218024 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:37am

Yeah i know who she is and where she lives.. i just dont have a contact number for her and dont want to risk turning up and hes there..]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:37:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218024&title=would-you-bother#218024 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Do you know who your half-sisters...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218017&title=would-you-bother#218017 Author: Maya
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:32am

Do you know who your half-sisters mother is? Maybe you could arrange to see her thru her mum and not your dad so you don't have to contact him?]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:32:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218017&title=would-you-bother#218017 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Emma, your so right. I dont think...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218016&title=would-you-bother#218016 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:30am

Emma, your so right. I dont think he has anything at all to contribute, and i know he would just dissapoint me..

All i remember of him was how much alcohol he drank, and how he was always to 'smashed'

He had another daughter a few years back.. she'd be 7 or 8.. id like to see her but dont want to see him..

Decisions aye]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:30:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218016&title=would-you-bother#218016 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : kebakat wrote:Short answer:...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218013&title=would-you-bother#218013 Author: SuziE
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:29am

Originally posted by kebakat kebakat wrote:

Short answer: no


And I agree with the fact that you dont have to have a relationship with someone just because you are related.

Who needs the stress?

]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:29:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218013&title=would-you-bother#218013 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : If you&#039;re trying to talk...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218010&title=would-you-bother#218010 Author: Maya
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:26am

If you're trying to talk yourself out of doing it then it sounds like you probably shouldn't bother. It doesn't sound like you think your Dad has anything positive or constructive to contribute to Kylah's life (and yours) so wouldn't it just be setting both of you up for more disappointment?]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:26:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218010&title=would-you-bother#218010 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Short answer: no ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218009&title=would-you-bother#218009 Author: kebakat
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:25am

Short answer: no]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:25:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218009&title=would-you-bother#218009 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Hes a very bad role model, i wouldnt...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218007&title=would-you-bother#218007 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:24am

Hes a very bad role model, i wouldnt trust her alone with him.. He was drinking while driving with his 3 yea old in the car.. hes just generally not a nice person..

Edited by LilAngel4Me]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:24:34 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218007&title=would-you-bother#218007 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Unless its something important...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218005&title=would-you-bother#218005 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:23am

Unless its something important to you, why bother.

You don't have to have a relatonship with someone just cause their a relative.

As for Kylah, in my experience kids don't miss what they never had.

I met my birth mother when I was 20, (14 years ago) and while it was nice to fill in some of the blanks, I don't have a relatonship with her and probably never will.

Edited by fleury]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:23:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218005&title=would-you-bother#218005 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Just to add some more.. i know...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218004&title=would-you-bother#218004 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:22am

Just to add some more.. i know how and where to contact him, but im not sure i want him in my life.. let alone hers. Not like he would stick round anyway..

Now im talking myself out of contacting him.]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:22:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218004&title=would-you-bother#218004 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Hmmm, thats a toughie. On the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218003&title=would-you-bother#218003 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:22am

Hmmm, thats a toughie. On the one hand your baby girl is entitled to know her grandfather, and have a relationship with him. On the other hand, why would you want to encourage that when he is your FATHER and you clearly don't have a relationship with him?

Personally, I haven't a clue what I'd do. My father passed away when I was just 6 years old, and at the risk of sounding like a cliche, I would give anything to have been able to know him as a person, rather than a photograph and a collection of other people's memories.

If you're not interested in having a relationship with him, then maybe there's no point trying to forge one between him and Kylah?

You'll know what to do when the time comes.

]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:22:34 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=218003&title=would-you-bother#218003 <![CDATA[Would you bother? : Ok so Kylah is 6 weeks old this...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=217999&title=would-you-bother#217999 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 10965
Posted: 24 September 2007 at 11:16am

Ok so Kylah is 6 weeks old this week, and has never met her grandad on my side. He never even knew i was pregnant. He walked out on us when i was 4 and i havnt seen him since i was 14..
I just feel bad that shes not going to know who her grandfather was..

Or would you not bother? He is a real loser too..

]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:16:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10965&PID=217999&title=would-you-bother#217999