OHbaby! Forums : What to say- if anything?? https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Fri, 08 May 2026 00:29:59 +0000 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:03:55 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=11063 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : Thanks for the feedback guys....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220482&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220482 Author: Jennz
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 9:03pm

Thanks for the feedback guys. My parents and I have a really close relationship- I love that we can talk about everything. The reason why I think Mum felt ok about telling me is that we do discuss our feelings really openly so it does feel really strange not talking to them about this- but like some have of you have said, I think I'll just be wasting my breathe. They think what they think and I doubt anything will change that.

Guess I'll just have to prove them wrong!

Thanks Nikki- you're a sweetie!]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:03:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220482&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220482 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : Well a few of my family members...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220289&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220289 Author: meow
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 3:29pm

Well a few of my family members - aunties, uncles and cousins, won't talk to me since I've had Ella. Think I could have done better. But actually having Ella is the best thing I've ever done, she's changed me as a person, I have learnt so much, grown up etc etc.

Just ignore it, and move on.. it's hard though. I still feel like I should "prove" myself to those family members, but if they aren't going to support me, why should I?]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:29:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220289&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220289 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : I&#039;m a fan of talking stuff...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220271&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220271 Author: Andie
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 2:55pm

I'm a fan of talking stuff like that over... you might find out that he really meant something a little different, or might find that you did hear it correctly.  Either way you'll get a chance to put your opinion on it forward and say why it is that you're happy and glad to be with DH. 

My DH is a good man, but he did not make a good impression at all on my parents (which would have been hard to do, to be fair... but I cringe when I think of some of those first impressions they had!).  I decided to just not ever whinge or vent to them about him.  I mean, we all need to have a whinge about our partners every now and then, but I find it much safer to talk to people who I know really love him, because they won't judge his character on it. 

]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 14:55:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220271&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220271 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : lol that is so something that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220269&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220269 Author: ffudehtpu
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 2:51pm

lol that is so something that my mother would say!!!! but they think that my husband could have done better.  From personal expreience prove them wrong, sometimes its better just to let the comment slide, as others have said he may have said something similar to that but chineese wispers and open interpretation may have twisted it around.

]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 14:51:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220269&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220269 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : Do better? Your DH is awesome!!...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220205&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220205 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 1:31pm

Do better? Your DH is awesome!! And produced very attractive offspring too... what more could ya ask for?

I mean, I know I don't know you *that* well, but from on here and hanging out a bit, I couldn't see why there'd be any reason to say you guys wouldn't have a long and happy marriage? So in that case, I guess it's just your father's preference. I'd probably have a chat with him and let him know how important it is to you that he sees that you are happy and D is lovely.

You guys are lovely together xoxoxox]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 13:31:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220205&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220205 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : It&#039;s difficult to give advice...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220191&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220191 Author: yummymummy
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 1:19pm

It's difficult to give advice when it invloves other families. I'd say go with your gut instinct.
I know if it was me I'd def ask - but I get along really really well with my mum and I'd want to know why she thinks that.]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 13:19:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220191&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220191 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : I would just let it go - and then...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220103&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220103 Author: Nic01
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 10:53am

I would just let it go - and then prove them wrong by making your marriage work! ]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 10:53:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220103&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220103 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : I can sympathise with you Jen,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220073&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220073 Author: Maya
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 9:51am

I can sympathise with you Jen, my parents think I can do way better than Willie (I probably can ) and have never approved of our relationship and for a while there I could see their point coz he was being a bit of a loser, but since we got back together again he has been awesome, I couldn't have gotten thru the past year without him, yet still they moan.
I'm inclined to agree with Gandt tho, let it go. I've tried making my parents like Willie, tried arguing with them about him, tried everything just about but at the end of the day I've had to accept that they're just never going to see eye to eye, so now I just don't bother getting into discussions with them about it.]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 09:51:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220073&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220073 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : I am with GandT, I would just...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220013&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220013 Author: Peanut
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 8:24am

I am with GandT, I would just let it go. Seoerated parents are great at repeating things not quite right!

Gutting to hear but at the end of the day, you are your wee family are happy and thats all that counts.]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 08:24:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220013&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220013 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : i would leave it... your dad...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220001&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220001 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 7:58am

i would leave it... your dad may have said something to your mum, but it may not have been exactly what your mum relayed to you...chinese whispers type of thing.

and i will say that if your parents (as in anybodys parents too) didnt approve of your choice when you first made it then in my experience they never change their minds.   ]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 07:58:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=220001&title=what-to-say-if-anything#220001 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : Oh Jen, that does suck. Im sorry...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=219964&title=what-to-say-if-anything#219964 Author: bumblefoot
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 4:38am

Oh Jen, that does suck. Im sorry your family aren't very supportive of your choice, that you are obviously happy with. I say if you aren't up for saying anything to them about it to perhaps give them a dry spell away from you and see if they still feel the same way. Or perhaps talk up the great points about your man. Its sad they can't see that you are happy with him, but maybe over time they will realise it.

Hang in there chicka, jsut thought I would pop in since it was so early in the morning you posted, figured you might be losing a lil bit of sleep over it.

Best of luck...

Ok so have jsut seen that you are in London, so time difference is way off... never mind, advice still the same!

]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:38:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=219964&title=what-to-say-if-anything#219964 <![CDATA[What to say- if anything?? : Sorry for yet another long ramble! My...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=219960&title=what-to-say-if-anything#219960 Author: Jennz
Subject: 11063
Posted: 27 September 2007 at 2:29am

Sorry for yet another long ramble!

My Dad came over to stay with us for about 5 weeks- the first few weeks were fine but by the end we were all getting on each others nerves a bit. I printed out some pics of the girls for him to give to Mum when he got back and he dropped them off to her today. She just called me and they obviously had a bit of a chat about his trip and one of the things she said he had said was that he didn't think my marriage will last. I just don't know how to take that- or what to say, if anything. I told DH and we were both just really stunned about it.

I don't know where it is coming from really. I know that both my parents think that I could 'do better' but doesn't there come a point (married with 2 children maybe?) when they should realise that I have made my choice and to support me. To be honest I don't think he would have realised Mum would pass that on and I do wonder at her motivation for doing it as well. Don't they see that this kind of stuff just makes me want to pull away from them and cling closer to my family.

Obviously they want what is best for me but how is not being with the man I love who is a brilliant father to my children not the best for me? Its not like hes abusive in any way or that I am unhappy- I think its just that they don't like him and think I could do better.

I guess one good thing is that it allowed us to come to a decision about where we're going to settle- Melbourne it is!

What would you guys do? Have them up about it or leave it?

]]> Thu, 27 Sep 2007 02:29:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11063&PID=219960&title=what-to-say-if-anything#219960