These are great and put a huge grin on my face .

Mine is

I choked on a stuffed animal because i was drunk

DP's is

I shot a homeless guy because i was drunk

Well now I'm beginning to think there is a drink problem in this house LOL

I shot a mexican because I was high

My Dh's is funny

I sang to a gangster because I was horny

Pick the month (number) you were born in

1----I fell in love with
2----I ate a
3----I smacked
4----I sang to
5----I gave my number to
6----I killed
7----I shot
8----I gave a lap dance to
9----I choked on
10---I made out with
11---I had sex with
12---I stabbed

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-------a homeless guy
2-------a kebab
3-------a banana
4-------a sandwich
5-------a Mexican
6-------a stuffed animal
7-------a hooker
8-------a lamp
9-------my best friend
10-------a goat
11-------my dog
12-------a ninja
13-------the computer
14-------a football player
15-------my neighbour
16-------myself
17-------a soda
18-------a llama
19-------a baby
20------ a gangster
21-------a permanent marker
22-------my dad
23-------a chair
24-------my psychiatrist
25-------a policeman
26-------my brother
27-------my sister
28-------a baseball bat
29-------a DVD player
30-------a paperclip
31-------my cell phone

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White------Because I was high.
Black-------Because I was drunk.
Pink--------Because i was bored
Red---------Because the voices told me to.
Blue--------Because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green------Because I hate myself.
Purple------Because I'm naked.
Gray--------Because I'm mentally disturbed.
Yellow------Because someone offered me $1,000,000
Shirtless---Because i was horny
Orange----Because I hate my family.
Brown-----Because i was hungry.
Other-----Because i'm gangsta

Mine is I made out with a DVD player because i'm sexy and I do what I want.