OHbaby! Forums : Need to have a grrrr! https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Thu, 07 May 2026 09:28:30 +0000 Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:57:17 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=14753 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Hugs Aimee! BTW, when i finally...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310657&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310657 Author: lizzle
Subject: 14753
Posted: 25 February 2008 at 6:57am

Hugs Aimee! BTW, when i finally decide to come over, i shall ask what time is suitable for a wee cuddle! By the time I get there though Greer will be in her mid-teens and tell me to getoff!]]> Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:57:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310657&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310657 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : aimeejoy wrote:Mazzy, that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310551&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310551 Author: Mazzy
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 9:41pm

Originally posted by aimeejoy aimeejoy wrote:

Mazzy, that is exactly how I feel with the selfish/guilty feelings. I made a vow to stick up for myself this time, and I have a little bit but need to get better.


Yes - I say *now* that I'm going to be tougher about it, but wait for the actual event and I bet I'll be posting something very similar to what you have here.
One thing that I found worked sometimes was putting DD in the sling/front pack when I knew 'certain people' were coming over (or when they first arrived for one of those unexpected visits). It's a lot harder for them to take her off you when she's in one of those. But then I had to put up with the comments from MIL about the sling and how it was 'so ethnic'
can you tell I still have a few unresolved issues about MIL from when DD was young
Hope all the visits settle down soon, it's such a hard time when you're settling in to a new family routine and people think it's an open house. Even harder when it's close family who don't think about things, because it is much more personal when you bring it up with them. ]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 21:41:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310551&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310551 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Awww hugs Aimee ti really does...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310513&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310513 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 9:08pm

Awww hugs Aimee ti really does suck when you have people that do that to you. I hope you can get her sorted.

]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 21:08:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310513&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310513 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Thanks so much everyone, you&#039;ve...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310508&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310508 Author: aimeejoy
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:59pm

Thanks so much everyone, you've made me feel lots better. And yeah, DH knows how I feel, but I dont like bitching to him about it all the time, so this is the perfect place!

Mazzy, that is exactly how I feel with the selfish/guilty feelings. I made a vow to stick up for myself this time, and I have a little bit but need to get better. ]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:59:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310508&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310508 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : This is a toughie but you need...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310501&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310501 Author: busymum
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:55pm

This is a toughie but you need to be firm. Does she live close? If so, keep the door locked for a while and get your DH to ask her to please call before coming around to check it's an ok time because you guys need a lot of time to yourselves as a newly extended family. Then if she knocks on the door, ignore her until she calls. When she calls, you will have to have the guts to say 'I'm sorry we're all a bit too tired tonight' But it will really really help you!

As for the cuddles thing, I went through a stage with each of our babies when I pretty much denied everyone a cuddle! Most people had to wait until they were a few weeks older because babies find being passed around so unsettling at times!

All the best - I hate pushy parents/ILs too ]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:55:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310501&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310501 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Hugs Aimee your MIL sounds exactly...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310498&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310498 Author: Bubbaloo
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:53pm

Hugs Aimee your MIL sounds exactly like how mine was when James was little it's not nice is it take care and good on you for sticking up for yourself.]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:53:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310498&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310498 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : I have had the same problems with...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310449&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310449 Author: .Mel
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:24pm

I have had the same problems with my outlaws. After two babies and 8 years, I've finally got the "balls" to stand up to her! Crazy.

All I can say to you is stick up for yourself. If you don't want Greer to be picked up make it clear to her. She's and adult she'll get over it. Make sure your Dh backs you up. That is probably the most important thing.

]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:24:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310449&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310449 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : HUGS Aimee, I totally understand...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310447&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310447 Author: Mazzy
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:24pm

HUGS Aimee, I totally understand where you're coming from. The new baby buzz can bring out the worst in some people.

Originally posted by aimeejoy aimeejoy wrote:

I am having a lot of trouble giving Greer up for cuddles, and it bothers me that some people feel its their right. Usually if people come to visit and shes up if I dont feel like passing her around I just dont offer or stay on the floor with her if shes happy.


I had the exact same thing with DD when she was born, I really hated that everyone assumed that I wanted to pass her around all the time and have everyone cuddle her. I felt really selfish and guilty for wanting to hold her myself or let DH just hold her, or even just leave her on the floor/in the bassinette. And then I felt angry that they were making me feel that way (although it wasn't their fault I felt guilty).
I hated it even more when MIL would hold her and hand her back, because her perfume is really strong and would always linger on DD for hours afterwards - I got the point where I changed her clothes after they visited! So I know how you feel.
I've made up my mind this time that if I feel that way again with #2 arrives, I'm just going to forget the guilt and be selfish and enjoy it. They are our little bubbas and we've worked darn hard for 9 months and then the birth and I think we're allowed to be a bit selfish if we want!

Edited to make the first sentence make sense.

Edited by Mazzy]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:24:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310447&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310447 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Urghh thats so annoying!! I think...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310446&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310446 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:22pm

Urghh thats so annoying!! I think Im going to be the same with passing Caden round for cuddles. I wont mind if I have just a few friends over(like one or two) but if there is a groups of people Im not going to want him passed around like pass the parcel.
Have you told your DH how you feel? Maybe he could talk to his mother about it? Even though she is family, its rude to come into someones house(especially without rining) and disruping your routine.]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:22:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310446&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310446 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : How annoying and frustrating!...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310423&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310423 Author: Guests
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:07pm

How annoying and frustrating! hugs..I agree maybe get your DH to talk to his mum?

PS love the name Greer]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:07:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310423&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310423 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Aww hugs. Maybe get DH to say...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310421&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310421 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:02pm

Aww hugs. Maybe get DH to say stuff since they are his family?]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:02:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310421&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310421 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Hugs Aimee!!! We&#039;re always...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310418&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310418 Author: Brenna
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 8:00pm

Hugs Aimee!!! We're always here for you to vent - that would p#ss me off too!!]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:00:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310418&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310418 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Hugs! ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310413&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310413 Author: Maya
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 7:57pm

Hugs!]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:57:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310413&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310413 <![CDATA[Need to have a grrrr! : Argh, my ILs are driving me mental...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310406&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310406 Author: aimeejoy
Subject: 14753
Posted: 24 February 2008 at 7:56pm

Argh, my ILs are driving me mental at the moment. I dont like that my MIL just keeps turning up without ringing first and that she doesnt seem to respect how I do things with Greer.

She turned up at 5.30pm the other day wanting photos. She knows that we have dinner at 5.30 and that both girls are in bed by 6.30, so its the busiest time of the day for us. So far, Greer has had a feed before dinner, then she would lie happily awake on the mat while we ate and then she'd have another feed and of to bed. Everything runs smoothly and she sleeps well cos she has a good awake time then. But MIL insists on giving her cuddles and she goes to sleep. I was very brave and stuck up for myself the other day and when she started drifting off I said I wanted her put back down, and she reluctantly did.

A few days after we came home (actually was my grumpy baby blues day) she turned up with heaps of her family and just took Greer off me so everyone else could have cuddles and again, off to sleep she drifts. Then they sat around here for over an hour talking between theselves, while my brother and his family were also here (I hardly ever see them so didnt get to have a proper visit).

Then tonight they all turn up again at 5.30 and Greer was having a bit of a cry and she gets taken off me "so you can eat your tea in peace and Grandad hasnt had a cuddle yet" and then she goes to sleep again, even tho I said she had to stay awake. So she went to bed without her usual later feed so I will probably up an extra time tonight - Grrrrr! And there were little comments about beingn mean keeping her awake (even tho she'd only just got up) and mean cos she couldnt suck her fingers with her scratch mittens on (cos she is scratching her face).

I am having a lot of trouble giving Greer up for cuddles, and it bothers me that some people feel its their right. Usually if people come to visit and shes up if I dont feel like passing her around I just dont offer or stay on the floor with her if shes happy.

Probably seems like a little thing, but it is seriously driving me mental And I have been feeling absolutely fine (hormonally!!) as well. Argh and now DH just looked over my shoulder!]]> Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:56:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14753&PID=310406&title=need-to-have-a-grrrr#310406