OHbaby! Forums : Maintaining who you are https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Wed, 06 May 2026 15:18:09 +0000 Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:00:52 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=15963 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : FionaS wrote:My ultimate dream...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=345152&title=maintaining-who-you-are#345152 Author: Candkids
Subject: 15963
Posted: 04 April 2008 at 10:00pm

Originally posted by FionaS FionaS wrote:

My ultimate dream would be if I could have 30mins in the middle of each day to go for a walk by myself!! LOL - a woman of few demands. It may sound weird but the thing I miss the most about life before children is walking to and from work each day...nothing like a good walk on your own to make everything seem rosey.

Lack of exercise is such a mood killer (not to mention a figure killer!)



lol, dh asked a few weeks ago what i would do if i i could ( HE MENT ANYTHING AT ALL IN THE WORLD) and all i could say was . . have a long hot bubble bath and wash my hair with no interuptions, ]]> Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:00:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=345152&title=maintaining-who-you-are#345152 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : For me it is still having my goals...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344913&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344913 Author: Paws
Subject: 15963
Posted: 04 April 2008 at 7:59pm

For me it is still having my goals I guess and not putting all that on the backburner...learning to combine work and parenting all the while aiming for the police force, it's a challenging combo but it is working. It helps that B is so supportive of this dream of mine.

Work is an awesome chance to have adult conversation and goof off (in breaks only of course! *ahem*)

Because I'm still aiming for my goals I feel like being a parent and still being me are intertwined. Does that make any sense or am I babbling?? ]]> Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:59:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344913&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344913 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : mine were agua jogging and going...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344900&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344900 Author: james
Subject: 15963
Posted: 04 April 2008 at 7:53pm

mine were agua jogging and going back to that this week i cant wait and i,ve got my mum to come too ]]> Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:53:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344900&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344900 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Having conversations about other...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344896&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344896 Author: jaz
Subject: 15963
Posted: 04 April 2008 at 7:51pm

Having conversations about other things besides children is good thing. My outlets are exercise (currently aqua aerobics) and a book club I belong to. ]]> Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:51:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344896&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344896 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : FionaS wrote:My ultimate dream...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344190&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344190 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 15963
Posted: 04 April 2008 at 8:29am

Originally posted by FionaS FionaS wrote:

My ultimate dream would be if I could have 30mins in the middle of each day to go for a walk by myself!! LOL - a woman of few demands. It may sound weird but the thing I miss the most about life before children is walking to and from work each day...nothing like a good walk on your own to make everything seem rosey.

Lack of exercise is such a mood killer (not to mention a figure killer!)


Is there anyone that can sit with Elle during her midday nap or something so that you can get out for an hour. If they do it during her sleep time it's no trial for them and it means you're free to leave the house to do whatever for an hour or so.

When you mum looks after Elle are you at work or can you do something then?

Have you got a prayer group? If not maybe you could join a woman's prayer group in the evenings while someone else cares for Elle.]]> Fri, 04 Apr 2008 08:29:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344190&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344190 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : wow that sounds really cool. ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344155&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344155 Author: Kellz
Subject: 15963
Posted: 04 April 2008 at 7:39am

wow that sounds really cool. ]]> Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:39:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344155&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344155 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Kellz wrote: meow wrote: I&#039;m...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344111&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344111 Author: meow
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 10:08pm

Originally posted by Kellz Kellz wrote:

Originally posted by meow meow wrote:


I'm also doing a night class at a local high school, and again - I'm making something for my daughter haha! But I am also learning things and having time myself.


Thats a really good idea, maybe I couls look into doing something like that. What are u making?


I'm making a dolls cradle that can rock from a retro wooden toys book. I wish I'd had time to make more, but it's taken the whole course (8 weeks) to complete lol]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:08:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=344111&title=maintaining-who-you-are#344111 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : My ultimate dream would be if...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343848&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343848 Author: FionaS
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 7:57pm

My ultimate dream would be if I could have 30mins in the middle of each day to go for a walk by myself!! LOL - a woman of few demands. It may sound weird but the thing I miss the most about life before children is walking to and from work each day...nothing like a good walk on your own to make everything seem rosey.

Lack of exercise is such a mood killer (not to mention a figure killer!)]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:57:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343848&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343848 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : meow wrote: I&#039;m also doing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343838&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343838 Author: Kellz
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 7:52pm

Originally posted by meow meow wrote:


I'm also doing a night class at a local high school, and again - I'm making something for my daughter haha! But I am also learning things and having time myself.


Thats a really good idea, maybe I couls look into doing something like that. What are u making?]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:52:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343838&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343838 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : For me its my music. I have been...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343825&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343825 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 7:43pm

For me its my music. I have been playing in a brass band for 13 years now and after having Andrew I was in a rush to get back to make my life normal again. After Josh I took a bit longer (feeding was the problem Josh was boob, Andrew was bottle) but now I am back there it so maintains who I was pre babies.

The only problem I still have there is some of the older men in the band (i'm talking in their 60's) still can't get over the fact that i'm not my fathers responsibility anymore, i'm married and have my own children and my dad lives in a different country to me, and i'm 26 now not 13 like when I started.

Also my uni study makes me feel less like a mum as i'm so fully concentrated on something else.

]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:43:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343825&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343825 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : I sew...yeah mostly for my daughter...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343824&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343824 Author: meow
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 7:42pm

I sew...yeah mostly for my daughter but it gives me a sense of achievement in completing something and then receiving compliments - and having ppl ask me where I bought her clothes

I'm also doing a night class at a local high school, and again - I'm making something for my daughter haha! But I am also learning things and having time myself.]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:42:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343824&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343824 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : FionaS wrote:I used to be almost...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343819&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343819 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 7:37pm

Originally posted by FionaS FionaS wrote:

I used to be almost totally "others-centred" but now I feel like I'm just "Elle-centred".


sounds to me like elle has replaced all the "others".

have you ever tried just being "Fiona-centred"?

Edited by Bizzy]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:37:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343819&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343819 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : - I have an awesome coffee group...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343775&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343775 Author: miss
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 6:50pm

- I have an awesome coffee group where, while we have the babies with us, we click as a group of women, so that is awesome.
- we also see each other socially semiregularly with partners
- and are extending it to without partners and babies occasionally
-DH looks after Lily when I want to head out to have me time - this is usually weekly.
-Then during holidays he does full days so i can have some scrapbooking days.
-I make sure the main things I loved before Lily I still do (scrapbooking, cafes, concerts)

I think that is the bulk of it.]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:50:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343775&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343775 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Im looking for a part time job...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343633&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343633 Author: kellverona
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 4:13pm

Im looking for a part time job just to get me out and mixing with other adults without worrying about Jaxon (although I would probably still think about him the whole time) lol....]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:13:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343633&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343633 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : I&#039;ve got the work / home...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343631&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343631 Author: HippyMama
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 4:11pm

I've got the work / home divide going on here too, and due to the often stressful nature of my job I have been struggling to find ways to wind down and 'reclaim' myself. When I do have spare time I try and indulge my creative side, but more often than not I end up making (sewing/knitting/drawing) something for my daughter anyway. It's a really hard thing to find I think, the balance between you / mummy you and potentially the 'working you' as well! ]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:11:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343631&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343631 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Unfortunately I think it&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343601&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343601 Author: BuzzyBee
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 3:41pm

Unfortunately I think it's something that goes hand in hand with becoming a Mum! I've turned into a total worry wart now that I have Lucas! They do become the centre of your world ...I'd be a little concerned if they weren't...it shows your a great mum ]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:41:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343601&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343601 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : I have two mes too. The working...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343566&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343566 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 3:08pm

I have two mes too. The working me and the mummy me and to tell the truth because I spend so much time being the working me during the week I covet my time as the mummy me.

I think one thing that helps me is once Michaela's down for the night I have the house to myself until DH gets home at 10:15pm. I don't do much, fold washing and other housework, watch tv, read books, sometimes sleep - but it's bliss, I love having time by myself.

My sis and her DH have a childless day each (per fortnight I think) by themselves to do whatever they want. I think this is quite a good idea esp for sahms and those with more than one child.

On his day my BIL left the house at 9am, went to the barber, went to the movies, had lunch and a wander and some prayful reflection time then got home about 6pm. ]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:08:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343566&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343566 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Before I had Elle I was the girl...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343527&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343527 Author: FionaS
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 2:16pm

Before I had Elle I was the girl who could cope with anything. No matter how big the stress my friend / family member etc was going through I could carry it all on my shoulders with no help from anyone. I juggled a zillion things happily and successfully and was very a positive person. I had a lot of responsibilities with my family but shouldered them all with ease.

Now I struggle to focus on anything outside Elle and that is the absolute opposite to the person I used to be. I used to be almost totally "others-centred" but now I feel like I'm just "Elle-centred".]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:16:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343527&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343527 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Not Oprah, her guest. Very inspirational....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343523&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343523 Author: .Mel
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 2:09pm

Not Oprah, her guest. Very inspirational.]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:09:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343523&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343523 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Fiona, turn Oprah on. This woman...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343522&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343522 Author: .Mel
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 2:09pm

Fiona, turn Oprah on. This woman is amazing!]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:09:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343522&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343522 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Oh I sooo know where you are coming...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343520&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343520 Author: BuzzyBee
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 2:08pm

Oh I sooo know where you are coming from Kellz, my life fully consists of Lucas, Lucas ....and more Lucas

I'm looking forward to Botany meet up on the 19th though ...woohoo]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:08:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343520&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343520 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Yep Im like you Steph, I have...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343515&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343515 Author: Kellz
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 2:00pm

Yep Im like you Steph, I have no idea who I am anymore. I think thats why I get soo soo anxious about doing anything thats isnt related to Isla, to the point I dont do anything!]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:00:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343515&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343515 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Work used to be good but recently...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343514&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343514 Author: FionaS
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:59pm

Work used to be good but recently I've been unable to focus]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:59:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343514&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343514 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : I would love to have some work...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343510&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343510 Author: Bobbie
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:57pm

I would love to have some work to do at home now to keep my mind active but alas my work doesn't like the idea of me working from home with a baby here so I will have to wait until I officially go back.

I was thinking about picking up a paper or two to upskill while I'm on Mat leave but some days it's a struggle just to get dinner on so I'm a bit reluctant TBH.

Sometimes I think about doing some art stuff but that's about as far as I get.

Edit: Oh wait ! you wanted creative hints not someone who's in the same boat. Sorry not helpful.

Edited by Bobbie]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:57:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343510&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343510 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : Fiona I think a good idea would...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343503&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343503 Author: BuzzyBee
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:47pm

Fiona I think a good idea would be to set some time aside per day/week (if possible) to do the things you enjoy/used to enjoy ...do a bit of soul searching, maybe start writing a journal of some form at night before going to bed ....

Hope that helps chick ]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:47:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343503&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343503 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : I don&#039;t know who I am anymore...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343501&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343501 Author: BuzzyBee
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:45pm

I don't know who I am anymore ...plain and simple! I'm not even standing in the shadow of my former self. Everything I do is for Lucas, I don't get any time away from him UNLESS mum babysits while I go grocery shopping, and even then its all about him as I spend the whole time reading labels & sourcing out new foods to try (fussy eater & allergies).

Haven't seen friends or socialised since God knows when ...before I was preggy/ just after he was born and people turned up to have a nose?

I hate it when people ask me to go out clubbing/drinking! My answer will always be no, thats my former life ...drinking - I will never involve myself in that scene again (not that i ever really did, I loved going clubbing purely to dance).

I don't get any time to myself, I have no idea what I like/dislike anymore. I WAS once a great painter/budding artist, made many gorgeous paintings for bub whilst preggy but now I just don't have the time ...not sure the talent is still there either!

I'm hoping once he gets to school age I will find myself again LOL

ETA: Just realized this whole post was a total rant about myself ....



Edited by Mum2Lucas]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:45:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343501&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343501 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : I find when I&#039;m at work I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343487&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343487 Author: Bubbaloo
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:35pm

I find when I'm at work I am more the person I was pre kid.]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:35:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343487&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343487 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : For me, my work is my creative...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343471&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343471 Author: Maya
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:28pm

For me, my work is my creative outlet, altho atm I'm finding even that a struggle, I'd rather just curl up and go to sleep.]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:28:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343471&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343471 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : I tend to live a double life at...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343462&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343462 Author: Redbedrock
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:23pm

I tend to live a double life at the moment, 2 days a week i am a confident knowledgable medical professional, who can deal with multiple problems at the same time and trouble shoot technical problems on the phone while negotiating blood results with drs. The rest of the week i can't organise myself to get the hoover outor get dinner going. So i have days of being Claire and days of being Fay's Mummy. I would like to have days when I am just claire tho, not claire the nurse, so would be interested in responses to this]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:23:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343462&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343462 <![CDATA[Maintaining who you are : What tips do you have for maintaining...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343457&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343457 Author: FionaS
Subject: 15963
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 1:19pm

What tips do you have for maintaining who you are when you become a mother? I find I get so absorbed in what is going on with Elle that I don't have the time, energy or mental space for anything else. I feel like a shadow of the person I used to be! I have developed tunnel vision and am not sure how to get out of it.

Any creative hints? ]]> Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:19:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15963&PID=343457&title=maintaining-who-you-are#343457