OHbaby! Forums : Contact Han’s Dad? https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Thu, 30 Apr 2026 20:43:52 +0000 Thu, 29 May 2008 14:48:58 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=16241 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : She does sort of make comments......]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=398086&title=contact-hans-dad#398086 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 2:48pm

She does sort of make comments... asked me the other day if her dad was dead. Sort of had to come up with a quick explanation of what the situation was!

But yeah, I'll be more than happy to help her hunt him down when she wants to.]]> Thu, 29 May 2008 14:48:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=398086&title=contact-hans-dad#398086 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : nikkiwhyte wrote:So yep, at...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=398013&title=contact-hans-dad#398013 Author: sally belly
Subject: 16241
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 1:49pm

Originally posted by nikkiwhyte nikkiwhyte wrote:

So yep, at the moment it's a matter of "at least I tried" and nothing further at this stage. I'm at peace


I'm glad you feel that way . Maybe you can try "harder" to track him down (not that you haven't ,I hope YKWIM) when Hannah's older. I guess she's still a bit young to ask who her Daddy is?]]> Thu, 29 May 2008 13:49:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=398013&title=contact-hans-dad#398013 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Yeah. I think I&#039;d only push...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397960&title=contact-hans-dad#397960 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 12:59pm

Yeah. I think I'd only push for it when Han is keen. Atleast he'll have had a few years warning by then and potentially would be used to the idea of a kid somewhere out there. ha]]> Thu, 29 May 2008 12:59:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397960&title=contact-hans-dad#397960 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Good for you Maybe when Han&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397950&title=contact-hans-dad#397950 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 16241
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 12:51pm

Good for you

Maybe when Han's a bit older you can get aggressive with trying to find him. Right now, makes no difference to her I'm sure.]]> Thu, 29 May 2008 12:51:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397950&title=contact-hans-dad#397950 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I need his address or an address...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397947&title=contact-hans-dad#397947 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 12:47pm

I need his address or an address for his family to take matters further. And I'm not quite ready to do that yet.... I can always decide later if I want to pursue things further.

So yep, at the moment it's a matter of "at least I tried" and nothing further at this stage. I'm at peace ]]> Thu, 29 May 2008 12:47:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397947&title=contact-hans-dad#397947 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Would you be prepared to take...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397883&title=contact-hans-dad#397883 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 16241
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 11:39am

Would you be prepared to take things further if he decides not to respond to you? Like apply to the family court to have him paternity tested? Or turn up on his doorstep?

Or would you look at it as at least you tried?]]> Thu, 29 May 2008 11:39:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397883&title=contact-hans-dad#397883 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I take it you haven&#039;t heard...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397863&title=contact-hans-dad#397863 Author: KH25
Subject: 16241
Posted: 29 May 2008 at 11:24am

I take it you haven't heard back from him Nikki? What are you going to do from here - if anything?]]> Thu, 29 May 2008 11:24:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=397863&title=contact-hans-dad#397863 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Nah. I don&#039;t think there...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=382591&title=contact-hans-dad#382591 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 13 May 2008 at 8:12pm

Nah. I don't think there will be.

Trust me - you guys will be the first to know! hehe ]]> Tue, 13 May 2008 20:12:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=382591&title=contact-hans-dad#382591 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Any word Nikki? ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=382564&title=contact-hans-dad#382564 Author: sally belly
Subject: 16241
Posted: 13 May 2008 at 7:59pm

Any word Nikki? ]]> Tue, 13 May 2008 19:59:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=382564&title=contact-hans-dad#382564 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Good on ya Nikki ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=380130&title=contact-hans-dad#380130 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 16241
Posted: 10 May 2008 at 10:45pm

Good on ya Nikki ]]> Sat, 10 May 2008 22:45:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=380130&title=contact-hans-dad#380130 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Don&#039;t be silly, come on,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379978&title=contact-hans-dad#379978 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 16241
Posted: 10 May 2008 at 8:02pm

Don't be silly, come on, show your aunties...]]> Sat, 10 May 2008 20:02:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379978&title=contact-hans-dad#379978 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : OOOOh, pm me! I&#039;m really...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379849&title=contact-hans-dad#379849 Author: lizzle
Subject: 16241
Posted: 10 May 2008 at 4:53pm

OOOOh, pm me! I'm really interested (read:nosey_)]]> Sat, 10 May 2008 16:53:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379849&title=contact-hans-dad#379849 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : lizzle wrote:you should post...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379824&title=contact-hans-dad#379824 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 10 May 2008 at 3:51pm

Originally posted by lizzle lizzle wrote:

you should post what you wrote....


I'm too embarrassed - people will think I'm being too forward/flippant/assuming/callous/not-callous-enough etc. Or maybe that's just my own hangups? ]]> Sat, 10 May 2008 15:51:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379824&title=contact-hans-dad#379824 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Well done you- very courageous!...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379502&title=contact-hans-dad#379502 Author: Jennz
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 9:45pm

Well done you- very courageous! I hope things work out...]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 21:45:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379502&title=contact-hans-dad#379502 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Fingers crossed it results in...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379479&title=contact-hans-dad#379479 Author: Paws
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 9:24pm

Fingers crossed it results in a positive outcome for everyone!!]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 21:24:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379479&title=contact-hans-dad#379479 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : eeeek!!!!!!!!!!!! can&#039;t wait......]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379475&title=contact-hans-dad#379475 Author: newmum
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 9:18pm

eeeek!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait...]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 21:18:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379475&title=contact-hans-dad#379475 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : you should post what you wrote.......]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379453&title=contact-hans-dad#379453 Author: lizzle
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 9:03pm

you should post what you wrote....]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 21:03:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379453&title=contact-hans-dad#379453 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Well done Nikki, fingers crossed...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379413&title=contact-hans-dad#379413 Author: Mazzy
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 8:20pm

Well done Nikki, fingers crossed that you get the best outcome - whatever that may be. Bloody good on you for making contact. ]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 20:20:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379413&title=contact-hans-dad#379413 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : well done you! ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379150&title=contact-hans-dad#379150 Author: miss
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 4:26pm

well done you!]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 16:26:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379150&title=contact-hans-dad#379150 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Thanks loves! TBH I don&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379144&title=contact-hans-dad#379144 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 4:20pm

Thanks loves!

TBH I don't think he'll reply at all - but atleast I'll know I've said my bit. ]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 16:20:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379144&title=contact-hans-dad#379144 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Now we all cross our fingers for...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379134&title=contact-hans-dad#379134 Author: caraMel
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 4:07pm

Now we all cross our fingers for a speedy and positive response for him, and sit with bated breath!
We're all here for you Nikki ]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 16:07:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379134&title=contact-hans-dad#379134 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Deep breaths Nikki Edited by...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379113&title=contact-hans-dad#379113 Author: sally belly
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 3:42pm

Deep breaths Nikki

Edited by sally belly]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 15:42:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379113&title=contact-hans-dad#379113 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I finally messaged him. Eeeeeeeeek....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379089&title=contact-hans-dad#379089 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 09 May 2008 at 3:25pm

I finally messaged him. Eeeeeeeeek. Now what?]]> Fri, 09 May 2008 15:25:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=379089&title=contact-hans-dad#379089 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : *Waves up to Nikki on the high...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371769&title=contact-hans-dad#371769 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 16241
Posted: 01 May 2008 at 2:56pm

*Waves up to Nikki on the high road*]]> Thu, 01 May 2008 14:56:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371769&title=contact-hans-dad#371769 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Oooooer courageous! I like that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371453&title=contact-hans-dad#371453 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 01 May 2008 at 10:48am

Oooooer courageous! I like that Thanks Liz ]]> Thu, 01 May 2008 10:48:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371453&title=contact-hans-dad#371453 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : good luck with that Nikki. i...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371117&title=contact-hans-dad#371117 Author: lizzle
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 9:29pm

good luck with that Nikki. i think you are doing the right thing - AND my definition of courage is doing what ou know is right when you really really really don't want to. So you are pretty courgaeous in my books. ]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:29:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371117&title=contact-hans-dad#371117 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Thanks Jo but I should be right....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371081&title=contact-hans-dad#371081 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 9:14pm

Thanks Jo but I should be right. If I get his email then I'm good.

And I'm not sure he would have changed his address to the correct one on the electoral role (he has moved a lot in the last few years) - I may try that if the friend option fails.]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:14:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=371081&title=contact-hans-dad#371081 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Nikki, if you have his name and...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370939&title=contact-hans-dad#370939 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 7:49pm

Nikki, if you have his name and DOB (from his facebook profile??) I can get you an address and telephone number.]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:49:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370939&title=contact-hans-dad#370939 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : If you have his name the electrol...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370867&title=contact-hans-dad#370867 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 6:45pm

If you have his name the electrol roll should have his details on it. Worth a try for you.

]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:45:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370867&title=contact-hans-dad#370867 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Onya Nikki - well done. Even if...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370808&title=contact-hans-dad#370808 Author: emeldee
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 5:16pm

Onya Nikki - well done. Even if things don't work out chipper this time, boys eventually grow up - and he may be more worthwhile when Han is older. Just watch out for the information acceptance process (it's kind of like the grieving process in terms of annoying stages).

I hate quoting Ronan Keating (what have you brought me to)...life is a rollercoaster just got to ride it....na na na na naaa.



]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:16:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370808&title=contact-hans-dad#370808 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : oh to be a fly on the wall that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370745&title=contact-hans-dad#370745 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 4:08pm

oh to be a fly on the wall that day huh!
good luck nikki ]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:08:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370745&title=contact-hans-dad#370745 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Sounds promising Nikki! I would...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370703&title=contact-hans-dad#370703 Author: BellaBoo
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 3:44pm

Sounds promising Nikki!

I would love to see his face reading it!

Good luck with the legal aid.]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:44:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370703&title=contact-hans-dad#370703 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Update. Just went to see a lawyer...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370690&title=contact-hans-dad#370690 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 30 April 2008 at 3:31pm

Update.

Just went to see a lawyer to see if she could contact him.

She can't... well, she can, but she needs a contact address first (I thought they could search records somehow???) and if I'm gonna get that much then I may as well write the letter myself instead of paying her to do it.

So, I've asked someone who can access his profile to send me his email or address and then I will write a letter or email to send. A very formal one. If I can't get hold of that then I will just send him a private message on facebook.

So yeah... that's it. Wish I'd called the lawyer first to ask her over the phone. I guess that's my advice to people - ask over the phone whether they can help first!!!

Oh, I did get some help re: legal aid though. She said to apply for it anyway if I want to pursue paternity later and possibly I'll be able to get a loan via legal aid. That'd be fab.

Mmmmm.]]> Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:31:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=370690&title=contact-hans-dad#370690 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : hahaha hilarious. ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364707&title=contact-hans-dad#364707 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 24 April 2008 at 8:21am

hahaha hilarious.]]> Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:21:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364707&title=contact-hans-dad#364707 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Yep, polly does it friday morns...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364478&title=contact-hans-dad#364478 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:36pm

Yep, polly does it friday morns round 8ish. Tis funny as. Couple of weeks back they had a Blenheim guy on (first names only) and I sooo knew who they were talking about. Funny!!!!!!!!!]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:36:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364478&title=contact-hans-dad#364478 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : OMG OMG DO ZM REALLY HAVE A DO...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364371&title=contact-hans-dad#364371 Author: Candkids
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 7:14pm

OMG OMG DO ZM REALLY HAVE A DO NOT DATE HIM LIST!!!! ROFL i soooooooooo have to check that out.
nikki if u just want to get onto his bebo site to see weather or not hes a complete nut bar or something get a few of your friends to try add him too, bet he wont decline everyone

]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:14:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364371&title=contact-hans-dad#364371 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : ok sounds like this guy 1-has...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364341&title=contact-hans-dad#364341 Author: james
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 6:41pm

ok sounds like this guy
1-has no idea who you are so wouldnt add you (you know he has bad memory)
2-hes a tottal jerk
i would go thur the lawerys outher wise he may just think you are stalking him lol big hugs hun your a lot braver then me but then james sperm donor is a jerk but at least your trying ]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:41:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364341&title=contact-hans-dad#364341 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Oh my life is bunch of drama!!! Do...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364112&title=contact-hans-dad#364112 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 2:29pm

Oh my life is bunch of drama!!!

Do I create it or am I a victim of it?!?! Either way it freaks me out. I promise things are boring usually.

Just went to community law centre and they gave me names to call re: family lawyers. I'll see if I qualify for legal aid, and if not - facebook here I come. ]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:29:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364112&title=contact-hans-dad#364112 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I&#039;m totally lurking in this...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364110&title=contact-hans-dad#364110 Author: baalamb
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 2:27pm

I'm totally lurking in this thread. I have no advice but I can imagine just how difficult a decision it must be.

I can't wait to find out what happens in the next episode of 'Living vicariously through Nikki!'. You MUST keep us updated ]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:27:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364110&title=contact-hans-dad#364110 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Lol I didn&#039;t know anyone...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364092&title=contact-hans-dad#364092 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 2:14pm

Lol I didn't know anyone declined people on bebo.

But seriously I like Marees idea, it will give him a shock but at least then he knows.]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:14:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364092&title=contact-hans-dad#364092 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : ORRRRRRRRR put him on ZM&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364085&title=contact-hans-dad#364085 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 2:11pm

ORRRRRRRRR put him on ZM's DO NOT DATE HIM list

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

"Do not date Nick from blah blah. HE rooted me and we had a kid that he dosen't know about and he declined me on BEBO. What a loser!" Polly would LOVE it!]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:11:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364085&title=contact-hans-dad#364085 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : yep i&#039;d go with Roksana or...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364083&title=contact-hans-dad#364083 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 2:10pm

yep i'd go with Roksana or maree's idea. You tried to get intouch a nice way and he declined, so....

And WELCOME BACK! HI to maree! Miss your funny posts!]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:10:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=364083&title=contact-hans-dad#364083 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Just send him a reply say hay...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363997&title=contact-hans-dad#363997 Author: Roksana
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 12:42pm

Just send him a reply say hay AH I think I gave birth to your KID! Accept friendship or suffer!! LOL

No seriously do it!! This can be your proof that you tried to make contact in a civilized way and he refused therefore you have no choice but to get lawyers involved!

I dont know!! Ask BS for advice!!]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 12:42:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363997&title=contact-hans-dad#363997 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Try to add him again - you never...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363987&title=contact-hans-dad#363987 Author: PippaLockysMummy
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 12:34pm

Try to add him again - you never know he might accept this time.

]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 12:34:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363987&title=contact-hans-dad#363987 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I&#039;m not sure... I think if...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363906&title=contact-hans-dad#363906 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 11:39am

I'm not sure... I think if I requested he add me as a friend then yes, he does. I'll test the theory.

It has my name and a pic of Han as my profile, but not much in the way of "NICK YOU HAVE A KID"]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:39:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363906&title=contact-hans-dad#363906 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : has he got access to your bebo??...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363894&title=contact-hans-dad#363894 Author: MyBelly
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 11:33am

has he got access to your bebo?? have you said anything about Hannah on there? and her age? maybe he has put two and two together??? good luck though hun, hehe id think seriously about doing maree's tactic, lol and id probably do it! ]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:33:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363894&title=contact-hans-dad#363894 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : He declined me!!! I&#039;m sure...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363887&title=contact-hans-dad#363887 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 11:29am

He declined me!!! I'm sure of it!

Bastard.

Now what do I do?

Tempted to use Maree's tactic of adding him on facebook with the message "Hi, you potentially have a kid."

Grrrr.]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:29:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363887&title=contact-hans-dad#363887 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : It is purely based on income though......]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363853&title=contact-hans-dad#363853 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 10:49am

It is purely based on income though... so that's why I thought having a student loan might help.]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:49:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363853&title=contact-hans-dad#363853 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Seriously ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363850&title=contact-hans-dad#363850 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 10:44am

Seriously

]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:44:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363850&title=contact-hans-dad#363850 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : mummy_becks wrote:I&#039;m...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363760&title=contact-hans-dad#363760 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:26am

Originally posted by mummy_becks mummy_becks wrote:

I'm sure you would still be able to get legal aid Nikki.



Not according to the calculator on the Legal Services website ]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 09:26:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363760&title=contact-hans-dad#363760 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I&#039;m sure you would still...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363531&title=contact-hans-dad#363531 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 16241
Posted: 22 April 2008 at 9:14pm

I'm sure you would still be able to get legal aid Nikki.

]]> Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:14:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363531&title=contact-hans-dad#363531 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Ahhh Maree!! You are back!! And...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363519&title=contact-hans-dad#363519 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 22 April 2008 at 9:06pm

Ahhh Maree!! You are back!!

And thanks for everything. I'd looooove to just message him with that but I think it'd freak me out just as much as him. haha

I think I'd still have to go through lawyers anyway as I'd want a paternity test. I think it's gonna cost a fortune as I am not sure I am eligible for legal aid anymore (though will plead my giant student debt as case for help!)

And yep, I'll do it. Just for you ]]> Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:06:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363519&title=contact-hans-dad#363519 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Oh - and I ask that you get in...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363254&title=contact-hans-dad#363254 Author: emeldee
Subject: 16241
Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:10pm

Oh - and I ask that you get in touch and let him know as the mum of boys who will one day possibly have contact with a woman that results in a grandchild....and as the mum of males - I'd really want to know and be a part of their offspring's lives. ]]> Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:10:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363254&title=contact-hans-dad#363254 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Aah Nikki, it seems my quick visit...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363251&title=contact-hans-dad#363251 Author: emeldee
Subject: 16241
Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:09pm

Aah Nikki, it seems my quick visit to OhBaby sees you in a pickle of a situation. I hope that your world isn't too upside down as a result of it.
I can suggest trying to add him on facebook, and in the text part where is says you can add a message, add something along the lines of "Hi, this is Nikki, we hooked up 3 years and nine months or so ago, I mention the nine months because I'm now a Mum to a gorgeous, beautiful little girl. We should talk - and no, I'm not joking - my email address is ****@****.co.nz . I'm ready to talk when you are. Sorry for the shock. " Then cast it out to the universe and see if he replies.
It's a cheaper option than lawyers.
Oh - and if you don't want to give him a heart attack that way, you could also get in touch with the Salvation Army have a family tracing service. http://www.salvationarmy.org.nz/SITE_Default/SITE_family_support/family_tracing.asp
They are really good, cheaper than a lawyer (always good) and will get in touch with him to see if he is ready to get in touch with you. ]]> Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:09:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363251&title=contact-hans-dad#363251 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : LOL Nikki you are funny!! Yah...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363058&title=contact-hans-dad#363058 Author: Roksana
Subject: 16241
Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:52pm

LOL Nikki you are funny!!

Yah sounds good! what ever gets the bal rolling huh?! ]]> Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:52:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=363058&title=contact-hans-dad#363058 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Roksana wrote: Hmmm....May...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=362526&title=contact-hans-dad#362526 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 21 April 2008 at 9:40pm

Originally posted by Roksana Roksana wrote:


Hmmm....May be he recalls who you are Nikki and thats why hasnt accepted your request?? Who knows


Potentially. Or he just isn't an internet geek and doesn't go on bebo very much. Probably quite likely.

And I don't think I want to call him... I guess I feel like I've been through so much sh*t with this that maybe someone else can do the dirty work this time!! It might be not taking responsibility where I should but I'm happy to accept that I'm avoiding it! ]]> Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:40:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=362526&title=contact-hans-dad#362526 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Ohhh I missed all this!! Hmmm....May...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361903&title=contact-hans-dad#361903 Author: Roksana
Subject: 16241
Posted: 21 April 2008 at 11:38am

Ohhh I missed all this!!

Hmmm....May be he recalls who you are Nikki and thats why hasnt accepted your request?? Who knows

I thin using third party is a good idea, that would give him a shock...because he didnt expet it and might react neg.

Why dont you see if you can contact him via phone (do you have his number?) and break it to him gently!!

It is a hard thing, but I am sooo glad you have a great partner who supports you, after that what ever happens is not so bad!

Big ]]> Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:38:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361903&title=contact-hans-dad#361903 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Oooh yeah that&#039;s a brilliant...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361897&title=contact-hans-dad#361897 Author: Andie
Subject: 16241
Posted: 21 April 2008 at 11:32am

Oooh yeah that's a brilliant idea!!  Especially if the lawyer were able to pass on something worded by you so that you know exactly what he's been told and how it was said - a wee letter or something.  Does hallmark make a card for such an occasion?!?

]]> Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:32:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361897&title=contact-hans-dad#361897 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : That&#039;s a pretty good idea....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361891&title=contact-hans-dad#361891 Author: caraMel
Subject: 16241
Posted: 21 April 2008 at 11:27am

That's a pretty good idea. Keeps it impersonal and protects you and Han.

Yay for the anxiety being gone, you don't need that! ]]> Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:27:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361891&title=contact-hans-dad#361891 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : He hasn&#039;t approved my request...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361870&title=contact-hans-dad#361870 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 21 April 2008 at 11:07am

He hasn't approved my request to add him on bebo so nothing more I can do at this stage.

My mum suggested getting a third party to contact him (lawyer or something) and I think I might go that way... I just haven't gotten around to doing anything yet

But the good thing is that the anxiety is gone! hehe ]]> Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:07:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361870&title=contact-hans-dad#361870 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : hows it going? ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361031&title=contact-hans-dad#361031 Author: EllenMumof2
Subject: 16241
Posted: 20 April 2008 at 2:56pm

hows it going?]]> Sun, 20 Apr 2008 14:56:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=361031&title=contact-hans-dad#361031 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Oh wow how crazy you found him. Um...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353407&title=contact-hans-dad#353407 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 8:40pm

Oh wow how crazy you found him.

Um personally I think he has a right to know. Even if hes the biggest loser he still has a right to know. Man I can't even imagine how hard it must be deciding what to do tho so all the best for whatever you do ]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 20:40:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353407&title=contact-hans-dad#353407 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : wow what a hard situation to be...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353313&title=contact-hans-dad#353313 Author: Phat_Cat
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 6:53pm

wow what a hard situation to be in. I dont really have any advise as such just maybe contact him and see how he reacts from there?

I too am one of those ones who has no idea who my father is. I have a "supossed name" and seen one photo but have never really pusured it sometimes i think i might like to from a medical point of view but also I would have no idea as to where to start as I am the result of a one night stand.  If i had sufficent info then i would be inclined to make contact but I do have my own family now and had other worse stuff happen in my childhood that i would just prefer to leave there.

So it could be handy to have some contact info for her "just in case in the future"

Good Luck

]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:53:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353313&title=contact-hans-dad#353313 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : ok....so we dont have to do a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353308&title=contact-hans-dad#353308 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 6:47pm

ok....so we dont have to do a maternity test at least :-P


but seriously , goodluck with whatever you decide Nikki, what a tough decision for you]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:47:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353308&title=contact-hans-dad#353308 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : haha Andie The ginger is from...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353267&title=contact-hans-dad#353267 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 5:50pm

haha Andie

The ginger is from my side - Dad was teased to high heavens throughout school. ha!]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 17:50:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353267&title=contact-hans-dad#353267 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : LMAO Andie ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353171&title=contact-hans-dad#353171 Author: Maya
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 2:58pm

LMAO Andie ]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:58:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353171&title=contact-hans-dad#353171 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I can save you time and money...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353157&title=contact-hans-dad#353157 Author: Andie
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 2:22pm

I can save you time and money on paternity tests:

Is  he  ginger????

Jokes aside, that's one helluva decision for you and I'd say go with whatever is in your heart, instinct, gut, whatever you'd like to call it.  Yeah, I feel like every kid has a right to know who their parents are - if the relationship is so sour they back out of it, then at least they've have a lot of questions answered just by knowing.  Maybe you could contact him and go easy with the whole 'I expect nothing from you but have big news' conversation-starter, and see what happens?  Nothing to lose, really.  Except those recurrent 'bumping into him' nightmares!  My only real advice would be not to let Hannah meet him when you do, if it goes that far.  You need to suss him out first. 

]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:22:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353157&title=contact-hans-dad#353157 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : haha Ana - I wouldn&#039;t expect...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353096&title=contact-hans-dad#353096 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 12:48pm

haha Ana - I wouldn't expect anything less (the threadjacking that is)]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 12:48:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353096&title=contact-hans-dad#353096 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I&#039;d tell him too - I think...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353090&title=contact-hans-dad#353090 Author: yummymummy
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 12:41pm

I'd tell him too - I think he has the right to know and so does Hannah. Good luck ]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 12:41:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353090&title=contact-hans-dad#353090 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : WHAT!! I thought they didn&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353069&title=contact-hans-dad#353069 Author: newmum
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 12:17pm

WHAT!! I thought they didn't know YUK!!!

Sorry to threadjack Nikki... ]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 12:17:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353069&title=contact-hans-dad#353069 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : They knew! They knew they were...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353004&title=contact-hans-dad#353004 Author: Jennz
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 9:52am

They knew! They knew they were father and daughter- and went on to have 2 children together!!!

]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 09:52:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=353004&title=contact-hans-dad#353004 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Worst case scenario it ends up...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352984&title=contact-hans-dad#352984 Author: newmum
Subject: 16241
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 9:36am

Worst case scenario it ends up likt the couple in OZ who are Daughter and Father and hooked up and had a kid before they found out

But seriously I'd tell him!
]]> Sat, 12 Apr 2008 09:36:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352984&title=contact-hans-dad#352984 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Nikki your situation is soo close...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352748&title=contact-hans-dad#352748 Author: BuzzyBee
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:50pm

Nikki your situation is soo close to home for me! Well in the respect that Lucas' father isn't around etc etc

I'm similar in the fact that I can contact his father ...by means of Bebo or Myspace, BUT when I did this about 7 months ago (Lucas was 5 months old at the time) he fobbed me off and went on about how he had a new life over in aussie (yes he moved over there a couple months after finding out i was pregnant ...and prior to leaving he stirred A LOT of sh*t and did his best to deny ever knowing me & that I could be carrying his child).

So of course he finally accepts me on bebo (his profile was private like Nicks) ...I have a million questions for him, He comes across acting all nice etc etc then next day turns into a nasty prick! So basically I ended up blocking & deleting him ...spent the next 2 months really upset about the whole ordeal because at the end of the day that was it - my son's father told me plain and simple HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS CHILD! I felt very guilty for some reason but at the end of the day I have now come to the conclusion that Lucas is much better off without him in his life,I wasn't prepared to force my child upon someone that wants no ties with him. I'd just be setting Lucas up for disappointment otherwise. So basically I'm at peace with my decision to totally forget he exists!

When Lucas is older and starts asking questions I have a couple photos of his father & the conversation we had I saved a hard copy of! I won't hold anything back, but I also won't stop him if he wants to contact his Dad later on in life!

I very much doubt Karl will ever come looking for us, and his mother knew when I was due to have bub. She was totally supportive and then all of a sudden at 28 weeks she stopped contacting me ...silly really as she lives about 5 mins from us! But I am not going to chase her, its been a year now and she hasn't bothered so why should I?

Sorry I just rambled on about my situation ...i'm hoping you can gain some kind of advice from that? lol

Basically what I'm trying to say is that there is no harm in trying, at least if you do approach him then you can say you tried!

Good luck & BIG hugs chick ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:50:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352748&title=contact-hans-dad#352748 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Good luck Nikki. Keep us posted....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352730&title=contact-hans-dad#352730 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:38pm

Good luck Nikki. Keep us posted. ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:38:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352730&title=contact-hans-dad#352730 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Andddddddd if I did approach Nick,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352718&title=contact-hans-dad#352718 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:31pm

Andddddddd if I did approach Nick, I would make sure that he knew that I wasn't 100%.

Won't make that mistake again.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:31:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352718&title=contact-hans-dad#352718 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : By process of elimination. I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352715&title=contact-hans-dad#352715 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:30pm

By process of elimination.

I thought the last guy was her father... that was wrong. He's the next most likely and so therefore becomes the most likely.

There is another possibility that is very small (and would have made Hannah at least a month premature - and at 9lbs 6oz I don't think so) - but because I was wrong last time and that turned my world upside-down, I really can't be certain.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:30:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352715&title=contact-hans-dad#352715 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : So are you pretty sure that this...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352708&title=contact-hans-dad#352708 Author: .Mel
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:26pm

So are you pretty sure that this guy is the father?

That's good news that Tobin will support you in this.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:26:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352708&title=contact-hans-dad#352708 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : my2angels wrote:hehe at least...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352694&title=contact-hans-dad#352694 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:14pm

Originally posted by my2angels my2angels wrote:

hehe at least if you sort it now you can tell her who her father is if she asks later rather than wait and when she asks say well i think its ..... but it could be ..........


hehehe yeah, i'd rather not have to admit to my 'summer of freedom' ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:14:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352694&title=contact-hans-dad#352694 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : No advice but best of luck Nikki...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352691&title=contact-hans-dad#352691 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:13pm

No advice but best of luck Nikki with it all.

]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:13:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352691&title=contact-hans-dad#352691 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : hehe at least if you sort it now...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352668&title=contact-hans-dad#352668 Author: my2angels
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:01pm

hehe at least if you sort it now you can tell her who her father is if she asks later rather than wait and when she asks say well i think its ..... but it could be .......... ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:01:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352668&title=contact-hans-dad#352668 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Ah, all so wise. This is why I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352660&title=contact-hans-dad#352660 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 8:57pm

Ah, all so wise. This is why I come running to OhBaby with my problems!

I talked to Tobin and he was worried about the potential disruption to Nick's life. I get that, but then I think of the potential disruption later in life if Hannah wants to go looking for him - which I would support. And then some of me wants to say - he did this too! He can't get off scot free!! Though I wouldn't expect anything of him... more just take a weight off my shoulders with the guilt ya know?

Anyway, Tobin said he'd support me either way, which I am glad about. He's probably in the best place now to be dealing with something like this than he has in the last year, which I am thankful for.

And legally - yeah I'd get tests before anything was pursued. After screwing up last time, I need to be sure.

Anddddd if he did want a relationship with Hannah (unlikely atleast for a few years!) then I am happy for him to build one. If Hannah wants nothing to do with him then I am happy for that too.

I guess I want Hannah to have a dad out there somewhere. At this stage she doesn't know because I can't definitively say who it is!!

So again, thanks everyone for your messages of support or advice or both! It has helped heaps

Edited by nikkiwhyte]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:57:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352660&title=contact-hans-dad#352660 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : this could have been said before...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352628&title=contact-hans-dad#352628 Author: my2angels
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 8:36pm

this could have been said before cos i havent read all the posts but what if he does want to play a part in her life. A)do you have the right to keep her away from her father and B) are you prepared for that, or for him to not want anything to do with her. Also is it easier for him to become part of her life now (if he wants to that is) than later on when she is older where you run the risk of it turning out like Jax meetin with her father did. I imagine it would be harder to welcome a new father into your life if you are older, you would have a bit of restentment etc... to deal with.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:36:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352628&title=contact-hans-dad#352628 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : No advice just hug&#039;s what...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352608&title=contact-hans-dad#352608 Author: 11111
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 8:11pm

No advice just hug's what a hard situation to be in I hope you find a desion that will be right for all of you.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:11:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352608&title=contact-hans-dad#352608 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Big hug - i know this is hard The...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352588&title=contact-hans-dad#352588 Author: Bombshell
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 7:55pm

Big hug - i know this is hard

The aucklander in me -ooh I know heaps of Nicks...LOL!

The mother in me says - I would want to know purely to be sure who my daughter comes from! and to be able to trace - just in case

The professional side of me says - let him know, get testing done to be certain, let him know if you are not doing it for money (child support freakes potential fathers out big time!) and then either let him into Hans life, or if he doesnt ask him to at least keep you posted of his movements in case of medical etc and form my absolute legal side - in case you and Tobin (or future partner) wish to have Han adopted by him this man will need to sign his consent to allow that to happen....

all the best....we cant decide for you...but we WILL want to know what happens ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:55:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352588&title=contact-hans-dad#352588 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Oh Nikki! I always wondered if...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352584&title=contact-hans-dad#352584 Author: Jennz
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 7:52pm

Oh Nikki! I always wondered if this would come up one day.

I think as a mother you need to do what is best for her- he may have rights morally but she should be your priority. I am inclined to think that it would still be best to tell him though- then if hes a total sh*t then you're the one who goes through the emotions of being hurt/angry and she'll be none the wiser. I just worry if he were told in her teens A) it would be harder for him to deal with at that stage as I think the longer you leave it the worse it would be and B)she will be the one no doubt in direct contact with him- so will feel all the hurt/anger directly if he's still a sh*t then.

I'm a worst case scenario type and I think its better to deal with that now while you can keep Hannah out of it as much as possible rather than later when she will be more emotionally involved.

Of course it could all turn out peachy and she'll have this wonderful extended family to call on for the rest of her life!

Good luck with whatever you decide ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:52:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352584&title=contact-hans-dad#352584 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Havent read all the replies, but...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352575&title=contact-hans-dad#352575 Author: aimeejoy
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 7:47pm

Havent read all the replies, but are you able to contact him any other way - just thinking that via bebo or whatever may be a kinda freaky way for him to find out.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:47:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352575&title=contact-hans-dad#352575 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I think that he has the right...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352544&title=contact-hans-dad#352544 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 7:08pm

I think that he has the right to know, after all he hasn't chosen not to be in her life he doesn't even know that she exists. I also wonder if in the furture Hannah would be upset that you knew how to contact him but chose not to?
I think that if you contact him then tell him that you know it is a big shock and that you don't expect or want money, you don't expect or want his involvement but if he is willing that is great and that you understand if he needs sometime to get his head around it all. I'm also not sure that telling him through facebook would be a good idea.
I mean really "hello mate, remember me? Oh by the way that 3 year old in my pics is also your 3 year old!!!" erm if i had a child I didn't know about I wouldn't want to find out through some random message on facebook.
Perhaps you should try to meet him for coffee or something instead, or at least get his phone number and do it that way.

Tough decision though and good luck

]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:08:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352544&title=contact-hans-dad#352544 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I asked DH a couple of questions...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352527&title=contact-hans-dad#352527 Author: kebakat
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 6:38pm

I asked DH a couple of questions out of curiousity..

If he had a kid out there would he want to know it existed?? He said yes

Would he get pissy if he was told further down the track say 10-15 yrs on about it rather than sooner?? (yes I actually said pissy lol) and he said f*ck yes. ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:38:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352527&title=contact-hans-dad#352527 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : I tend to come purely from the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352526&title=contact-hans-dad#352526 Author: Paws
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 6:33pm

I tend to come purely from the moral aspect that you mentioned...I think he deserves to know that he has a child and at least deserves the chance to make his own choice what to do with that info.

If he turns into a grade a a$$hole then you walk away and break all ties but are at least smug that you did what you could.

Or you might be pleasantly surprised and he could rival K-Fed for dad of the year!

I don't envy you the choice you have to make and I can fully imagine that it is going to be a hard one. *hugs*.

PS: for what it's worth B said he would want to know. He's also pointed out that there would be another set of grandparents who might want to know...just something to think about.

He knows someone who's got a daughter, the father is a total jerk and barely has a relationship with his daughter...however HIS parents are totally devoted grandparents.

Edited by Paws]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:33:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352526&title=contact-hans-dad#352526 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Sucks that you have to make this...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352508&title=contact-hans-dad#352508 Author: pepsi
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 6:16pm

Sucks that you have to make this major kind of decision, I hope whatever you decide to do that you're happy with it and don't stress too much.

My 2c is from a relationship perspective, only because you mention you are worried about the fact he has a girlfriend. Not that's it's entirely about him.. but I think it could be more difficult for him if he found out about a child when he has already settled down and gotten married or had other children. This could influence how he reacts to the situation as he would be more worried about what the wife would think etc..

Whereas maybe if he's not in a really serious relationship..he could possibly make a more independent decision.. Does that make sense? Oh yeah, and if the gf didn't want to be with a guy who has a kid then at least she might find it easier to leave than a wife?

That's just my opinion from another angle anyway... ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:16:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352508&title=contact-hans-dad#352508 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : as for Hannah wanting to know,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352487&title=contact-hans-dad#352487 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 6:00pm

as for Hannah wanting to know, she might and she might not.

I've know idea who my biological father is, and never will, and not interested in finding out.

I have a Dad the man who adopted me and raised me that's all that matters.


Don't feel you have to tell him. Its your choice.
]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:00:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352487&title=contact-hans-dad#352487 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : go for it nikki your never know...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352457&title=contact-hans-dad#352457 Author: james
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 5:42pm

go for it nikki your never know till you tell him whats going to happen and then when hanana asks you can tell her you relly tried then leave it up to her if shes wants to look for him big hugs hun i know this must be frecking you out it does me but we are all here to surport you big hugs hun ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:42:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352457&title=contact-hans-dad#352457 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Oh no Nikki, next time we have...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352455&title=contact-hans-dad#352455 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 5:40pm

Oh no Nikki, next time we have lunch we're going to stick to completely safe topics (like sports and tv programs).

Freaky that you found him so easily.

I told you about my niece, I think the fact that my sis waited until she asked about her father was a good thing as she was old enough by then to be establsihed and happy with her life as was and to also make her own decisions and judgements about her dad (you know how that worked out) granted Scott new about my niece as broke up with my sis when he found out she was preg.

It is important that she finds out who her dad is eventually for medical reasons and also so she doesn't accidentally date a 1/2 bro - pls don't freak out, you have plenty of time before that's going to happen.

It's obviously totally your choice but I would be inclined not to tell him. If you and Tobin do decide that you'd like to let him know you need to make it really clear that you do not want anything from him, unless he has hereditory medical problems you should know about, and that at this stage Hannah is happy and does not need him in her life.

Tough decision hun. Good luck making it, I'm sure you'll do what's right for you.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:40:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352455&title=contact-hans-dad#352455 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Sorry, I don&#039;t know all the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352424&title=contact-hans-dad#352424 Author: JadeC
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 5:17pm

Sorry, I don't know all the details, but could he have changed in the past 3 years?

I think he should know about her at least, but then again, I don't have kidlets yet, so you can def take my advice with a grain of salt!]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:17:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352424&title=contact-hans-dad#352424 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : i would speak to tobin and get...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352414&title=contact-hans-dad#352414 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 5:03pm

i would speak to tobin and get a mans perspective!]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:03:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352414&title=contact-hans-dad#352414 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Summary of what you said back...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352412&title=contact-hans-dad#352412 Author: Maya
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 5:01pm

Summary of what you said back then: oh crap!

I have no words of wisdom that anyone else hasn't already shared unfortunately, I wish I had a crystal ball and could tell you one way or the other how things would work out. Anyone else have one of those?

Otherwise, if it was me, I'd probably just keep tabs on him (ie. Bebo stalking ) so that you know you CAN find him if you ever want/need to or when Hannah decides she wants to, but wouldn't neccessarily say anything about it to him now. He doesn't sound like he deserves a kid, let alone any of the credit for how the gorgeous Hannah turned out...]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:01:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352412&title=contact-hans-dad#352412 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : And yes, stalker extraordinaire....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352401&title=contact-hans-dad#352401 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 4:52pm

And yes, stalker extraordinaire. I pride myself on it ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:52:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352401&title=contact-hans-dad#352401 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : .Mel wrote:I guess I&#039;d...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352400&title=contact-hans-dad#352400 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 4:51pm

Originally posted by .Mel .Mel wrote:

I guess I'd also consider that he might totally reject the idea of having a child and having a paternity test.


Now THAT I am used to (ETA - you have to know my disastrous history of hannah's paternity to get that)

I was just trying to find the thread I wrote in when I first heard back about the paternity tests but I couldn't find it. I wonder what I said then.. hrmmm...

Edited by nikkiwhyte]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:51:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352400&title=contact-hans-dad#352400 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : Stalker! I guess if you feel...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352392&title=contact-hans-dad#352392 Author: .Mel
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 4:41pm

Stalker!

I guess if you feel that you are doing the right thing then do it... I guess I'd also consider that he might totally reject the idea of having a child and having a paternity test.

Also if your relationship with Tobin is solid, then yes definitely talk to him before making any kind of decisions, because he's part of Hannah's life now.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:41:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352392&title=contact-hans-dad#352392 <![CDATA[Contact Han’s Dad? : The other thing that is moving...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352387&title=contact-hans-dad#352387 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 16241
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 4:39pm

The other thing that is moving me away from the whole thing is that I just noticed he has a girlfriend. I don't really want to disrupt their relationship.

But anyway, atleast if I am on his bebo page then I should be able to keep tabs on him a little bit.]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:39:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16241&PID=352387&title=contact-hans-dad#352387