OHbaby! Forums : THANKS https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Mon, 06 Apr 2026 21:01:04 +0000 Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:06:54 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=17470 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[THANKS : Annie your such and awesome sister...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=404034&title=thanks#404034 Author: Kels
Subject: 17470
Posted: 05 June 2008 at 2:06am

Annie your such and awesome sister and your bro is lucky to have you. What an awful thing to happen to your brother and his family.

Argh at medical people that let your SIL fall thru the system.

WIshing your brother all the best]]> Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:06:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=404034&title=thanks#404034 <![CDATA[THANKS : Oh man, my heart just hurts for...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=404026&title=thanks#404026 Author: caraMel
Subject: 17470
Posted: 05 June 2008 at 1:07am

Oh man, my heart just hurts for your brother. It must be so hard for you to see him so torn up. Lots of love and prayers to you both xx]]> Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:07:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=404026&title=thanks#404026 <![CDATA[THANKS : God that is so heartbreaking.your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=404023&title=thanks#404023 Author: Roxy
Subject: 17470
Posted: 05 June 2008 at 12:18am

God that is so heartbreaking.your poor brother.Im glad he has good support from you guys.I hope oneday something amazingly wonderful happens for him in his life.It will never heal the hurt and shock of what has happend but maybe after lots of time and tears and talking he may find a way to understand her decision.I know lots of people feel angry at suicide victims but they truly believe they are doing the rite thing and there isnt an option anymore.Its so sad.It leaves alot of guilt and sadness for those left behind.My love to you all in this time of sorrow and confusion.Im sure she is sorry for the hurt]]> Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:18:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=404023&title=thanks#404023 <![CDATA[THANKS : what a star sister you are ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=402681&title=thanks#402681 Author: lizzle
Subject: 17470
Posted: 03 June 2008 at 10:38pm

what a star sister you are]]> Tue, 03 Jun 2008 22:38:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=402681&title=thanks#402681 <![CDATA[THANKS : Hi Jade. He lives in CHCH. Victim...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=402503&title=thanks#402503 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 17470
Posted: 03 June 2008 at 8:45pm

Hi Jade. He lives in CHCH. Victim support got in touch with him last week, and he said they were great. maybe in hindsight last week was a good time as most people had floated back to their own day to day. He sounds ok, he has been at his DR getttign anti depressants and stuff, he knows what he has to do to keep healthy. He sounds logical and reasonable. I know it won't always be like that,though. He moves into his new place this weekend I think. I know he will find that hard, and I know he is also looking forward to being able to cry all the tme... its the being alone thing that worries me, but there isn't alot I can do at this time about that. I have faith his friends will see him through. he started back at work today, he said it felt pointless, but he needs to move forward a bit. Things are moving in regards to complaints mediations etc. He said the hardest thing is not knowing anyone who has actually found someone/a loved one dead like that. It's something he will never forget, I guess. He said he forgets she is gone, sometimes, like she is just away for a week or something and that he will have alot to tell her when she gets back. He said thats one of the biggest reasons he had to move, he would forever be waiting for her to come through the door. He forgets to do washing and stuff, thinking Oh ange will look after that.
Poor man.
Thanks so much for all the support on here, ladies.]]> Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:45:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=402503&title=thanks#402503 <![CDATA[THANKS : Where does your brother live?...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=402355&title=thanks#402355 Author: JadeC
Subject: 17470
Posted: 03 June 2008 at 7:21pm

Where does your brother live? Obviously not right now, but I know of a few people who have been bereaved by suicide and there are 2 groups I know of that might help later on down the line.

As for victim support, could you call them yourself? I know they are mostly a volunteer agency and, as crappy as it is, people fall through the cracks in the best situations.
]]> Tue, 03 Jun 2008 19:21:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=402355&title=thanks#402355 <![CDATA[THANKS : Annie, please let me know if there...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395498&title=thanks#395498 Author: newmum
Subject: 17470
Posted: 27 May 2008 at 10:17am

Annie, please let me know if there is anything I can do! I hate feeling so "helpless" and not being able to make it all better for you.

Just know that I am always just a phone call away, even if you just want to hang out, we don't need to talk about anything!

Hugs and love, you know you have all been in my thoughts all week. ]]> Tue, 27 May 2008 10:17:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395498&title=thanks#395498 <![CDATA[THANKS : that is truely disgusting!!!!!!...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395448&title=thanks#395448 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 17470
Posted: 27 May 2008 at 9:24am

that is truely disgusting!!!!!!

i'm glad that your brother is doing 'ok' at the moment. he's probably working on auto pilot until it all sinks in.   sounds like he has a lovely work place looking after him as well as his family

i hope that 'the system' sorts their sh*t out soon!!!! ]]> Tue, 27 May 2008 09:24:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395448&title=thanks#395448 <![CDATA[THANKS : I can&#039;t believe that! It...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395411&title=thanks#395411 Author: caraMel
Subject: 17470
Posted: 27 May 2008 at 8:55am

I can't believe that! It is so sad to know that the system has failed so badly for both of them. Thank God your brother has you all there supporting him and helping him to get the help he needs to survive this.
Big huge to you Annie. Thinking of you and your family xx]]> Tue, 27 May 2008 08:55:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395411&title=thanks#395411 <![CDATA[THANKS : I don&#039;t know what to say,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395343&title=thanks#395343 Author: Snickerdoodle
Subject: 17470
Posted: 27 May 2008 at 7:02am

I don't know what to say, except, you're in my thoughts and great big huge massive

at the health system. I can guarantee the people the "system" uses in these situations would be horrified of the number of cracks people fall through before getting over that first hurdle into said "system". ]]> Tue, 27 May 2008 07:02:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395343&title=thanks#395343 <![CDATA[THANKS : so... one week on and victim support...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395287&title=thanks#395287 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 17470
Posted: 26 May 2008 at 10:24pm

so... one week on and victim support have NOT been in touch with my brother.

Neithe rhas his social worker, who SHOULD be aware of the situation after my phone call to them on monday night.

His work is going to set up councelling for him, people have been so good, but I just can't believe "the system" hasn't been in touch. The system our tax dollars go on. There is an investigation into the CAD person who turned her away last monday and there is a claim being put in thorugh ACC. I have told them to make a complaint through the health and disablitities commission, and they may go to the media at some stage as well. The whole thing was handled VERY VERY badly.

He is being very brave at the moment. We are still all numb and in shock. I have a new respect for him now I know the whole situation, and he is so far doing waaay better than I would have thought, but I know that probably won't last.

Today they were packing up their homes and he has moved into his friends place. They had the house blessed and it will go on the market at some stage.

Oh the hurt. And Mel, I am off to PM you now.]]> Mon, 26 May 2008 22:24:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=395287&title=thanks#395287 <![CDATA[THANKS : Yeah I see you&#039;re point....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391667&title=thanks#391667 Author: ooEvaoo
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 10:16pm

Yeah I see you're point. Things need to be nipped in the butt before it escalates to a high risk situation. The health sector really need to open their eyes dont they. No one should be turned away, no problem should be too small. There needs to be change.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 22:16:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391667&title=thanks#391667 <![CDATA[THANKS : Sooo sorry to hear of your loss!...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391183&title=thanks#391183 Author: my4beauties
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 3:41pm

Sooo sorry to hear of your loss! This will be a tough time for you and your family . How heartbreaking for you. Lots of hugs coming your way. Thinking of you. ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 15:41:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391183&title=thanks#391183 <![CDATA[THANKS : Such a tragic and terrible time...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391137&title=thanks#391137 Author: Tiff
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 3:21pm

Such a tragic and terrible time for you and your family, my thoughts are with you. Big hugs.

P.S Yes the system does bite big time.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 15:21:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391137&title=thanks#391137 <![CDATA[THANKS : Big hugs Annie, I hope tomorrow...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391108&title=thanks#391108 Author: Maya
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 3:08pm

Big hugs Annie, I hope tomorrow is as kind as it can possibly be on your family given the awful circumstances. Will be thinking of you.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 15:08:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391108&title=thanks#391108 <![CDATA[THANKS : ooEvaoo wrote:It really depends...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391098&title=thanks#391098 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 3:05pm

Originally posted by ooEvaoo ooEvaoo wrote:

It really depends on the type of system thats in place in your area. I've had to use the mental health system for a family member and they were extremely efficient. The GP this family member dealt with picked up really quickly on the dynamics of the situation and within that consultation was informed about mental health services. The CAT team, as they were referred to, visited and called regularly to check on this particular person, they even had nurses to stay over night when new medications were introduced. They really were supportive. I'm sure it differs from region to region. It's issues like this were we need to rally for better support structures to be available for those who need it. Many tragic endings could be avoided if there was that support available.


yes but often they dont think you are 'bad enough' and then it escalates:( ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 15:05:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391098&title=thanks#391098 <![CDATA[THANKS : urgh! haven&#039;t they learned...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391056&title=thanks#391056 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 2:44pm

urgh! haven't they learned anything from the goings on in nz over the past year or so! if people need help and are brave enough to ask for it, they should get it asap!
isn't that what they are trying to tell us.....it's ok to ask for help?

big hugs annie! maybe you should take your brother and neice back with you for a wee break......? my heart goes out to you all ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 14:44:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391056&title=thanks#391056 <![CDATA[THANKS : I&#039;m so sorry to hear this...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391042&title=thanks#391042 Author: marielb
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 2:24pm

I'm so sorry to hear this sad news.

x]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 14:24:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=391042&title=thanks#391042 <![CDATA[THANKS : It really depends on the type...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390971&title=thanks#390971 Author: ooEvaoo
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 1:28pm

It really depends on the type of system thats in place in your area. I've had to use the mental health system for a family member and they were extremely efficient. The GP this family member dealt with picked up really quickly on the dynamics of the situation and within that consultation was informed about mental health services. The CAT team, as they were referred to, visited and called regularly to check on this particular person, they even had nurses to stay over night when new medications were introduced. They really were supportive. I'm sure it differs from region to region. It's issues like this were we need to rally for better support structures to be available for those who need it. Many tragic endings could be avoided if there was that support available.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 13:28:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390971&title=thanks#390971 <![CDATA[THANKS : thinking of you ......................]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390811&title=thanks#390811 Author: nictoddie
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 11:21am

thinking of you ................... and as for mental health unit never had to use them but from what I have heard from other peoples experience they don't seem to be much help, don't get me wrong I am sure they do a good job but I have not heard much good things latey.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 11:21:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390811&title=thanks#390811 <![CDATA[THANKS : Oh honey this is sooo tough....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390799&title=thanks#390799 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 11:15am

Oh honey this is sooo tough. Know that you are always welcome to came on here and share/vent/ramble/meander through your thoughts. That's what we're all here for.

Originally posted by fattartsrock fattartsrock wrote:


Victim support as far as I am aware haven't been in touch.
I'm really scared for him. I want to pick him up and brign him home.


Can you do this? Would he agree to it? Would you be able to look after him and the kids? Would DH agree?

Thinking of you.

]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 11:15:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390799&title=thanks#390799 <![CDATA[THANKS : Awww Annie that does suck big...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390772&title=thanks#390772 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 11:01am

Awww Annie that does suck big time. You are in my thoughts hun.

]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 11:01:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390772&title=thanks#390772 <![CDATA[THANKS : I&#039;ll be thinking of you all...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390770&title=thanks#390770 Author: .Mel
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 11:01am

I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow. I'll talk to you soon. Take care.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 11:01:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390770&title=thanks#390770 <![CDATA[THANKS : Surely mental health professional...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390730&title=thanks#390730 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 10:35am

Surely mental health professional have training on how to deal with people who are hostile? What a load of sh*t.
Huge hugs to you, I hope you are able to get your brother some support.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 10:35:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390730&title=thanks#390730 <![CDATA[THANKS : Mel, I will pm you after tomorrow...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390713&title=thanks#390713 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 10:28am

Mel, I will pm you after tomorrow as I really want to pick your brains.

Victim support as far as I am aware haven't been in touch.

I'm really scared for him. I want to pick him up and brign him home.]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 10:28:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390713&title=thanks#390713 <![CDATA[THANKS : Didn&#039;t victim support go...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390647&title=thanks#390647 Author: .Mel
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 9:52am

Didn't victim support go to your brother after he found her? They turned up for me within 20mins of me calling the police and ambulance. They then were at my parents house the next day...

Annie, speaking from personal experience you are all in for a really rough ride over the next few months and please PM me if you need ANYTHING!!! ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 09:52:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390647&title=thanks#390647 <![CDATA[THANKS : yes them thanks charly :) ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390609&title=thanks#390609 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 9:16am

yes them thanks charly :) ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 09:16:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390609&title=thanks#390609 <![CDATA[THANKS : KA, Victim Support? I was going...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390604&title=thanks#390604 Author: Snickerdoodle
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 9:09am

KA, Victim Support?

I was going to suggest them.

that's really maddening.
I hope your brother is OK (well, as OK as can be expected).
Travel safe. You're in my thoughts ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 09:09:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390604&title=thanks#390604 <![CDATA[THANKS : wonder why they cant have people...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390601&title=thanks#390601 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 9:05am

wonder why they cant have people who come to your house after car accidents not sure what they are called..they come when u need them.. i dont know the whole story but the mental health system here sucks ...mostly when you ask for help you dont get it:(

what a rude bitch:( ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 09:05:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390601&title=thanks#390601 <![CDATA[THANKS : Huge hugs Annie. We rang the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390599&title=thanks#390599 Author: aimeejoy
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 9:01am

Huge hugs Annie. We rang the crisis line here on the weekend about SIL and was basically told we had to wait until Monday and then ring ourselves. We got no advice or anything with how to manage until then. It is so so sad that people are asking for help, and just arent getting it...

Edited by aimeejoy]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 09:01:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390599&title=thanks#390599 <![CDATA[THANKS : Heartfelt thanks for all your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390598&title=thanks#390598 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 17470
Posted: 22 May 2008 at 8:58am

Heartfelt thanks for all your kind thoughts following our tragic news the other night.
I feel a bit stupid for comign on here and posting randomly but it was lateish and I didn't know who to ring or whatever and just needed to get it off ym chest.
I am at home today but we head back down to CHCH this arvo for the funeral tomorrow. I will de down again in a few weeks to help my brother with sorting her things out etc.
Its still a huge huge shock and now I know the full story, such a tragic sad sad tale about how the system lets people down. I rung the after hours crisi number for CHCH on monday night and they didn't want to go out and help my brother as he would be hostile with them apparently. I said to the stupid woman well if my husband was asking, beggign for help and you turned us away and he killed himself, I would be damn hostile as well. If He does ANYTHING to harm himself I will be going to the media. She just said thats your choice! ]]> Thu, 22 May 2008 08:58:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17470&PID=390598&title=thanks#390598