OHbaby! Forums : Regretting parenthood? https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Thu, 09 Apr 2026 16:41:21 +0000 Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:16:50 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=19851 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : I know what you mean rach , i...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461798&title=regretting-parenthood#461798 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 10:16pm

I know what you mean rach , i love my single non parent friends, definetly , but my idea of a great night now is one where im at home, by my fire, watching a movie on tv with DF with my daughter tucked up in bed.
When i go out clubbing, im all excited to be going out, all dressed up etc, ...but once im there, i just want to leave ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:16:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461798&title=regretting-parenthood#461798 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : You know what having kids is about...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461791&title=regretting-parenthood#461791 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 10:00pm

You know what having kids is about the only thing I DONT regret in my life. I used to think I would of liked to have them a bit later but now I'm actually getting some sleep I love my life and don't miss my old life for a second.

Every now and then I go out like old times and I hate every second of it. I way prefer to have mummy nights out with my new Mummy friends. ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:00:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461791&title=regretting-parenthood#461791 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : I hold a strong opinion. I do...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461167&title=regretting-parenthood#461167 Author: Shorty
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 1:20pm

I hold a strong opinion. I do not regret anything in life as I would not be who I am today, or where I am in my life.

For me and my son, I am very blessed to have him in my life and I know when we struggle with situations that there is always someone worse off than we are.
When he is unwell we have worked through it knowing we have him in our lives and could not live any other way.]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:20:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461167&title=regretting-parenthood#461167 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : I think it&#039;s fair enough...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461164&title=regretting-parenthood#461164 Author: Andie
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 1:19pm

I think it's fair enough for some people not to enjoy parenthood! It's just not everyone's cup of tea. I have times when I don't regret becoming a mother as such, but I miss having time to myself, the freedom that it brings, more energy and just more time spent hanging out with friends over coffee and movies and dinner. But when I weigh it up - would I really rather have my 'old' life or this one, I can't honestly say I'd want that life back. It was great while it lasted, and this surely is harder work, but it won't always be so hard because my kids will go to school one day and I won't know what to do with myself once that happens! I look at Ella and think how much I love her, and I don't feel guilty about having moments of missing my freedom, because the two don't have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe as her friend you could let her know that you think it's OK to have those feelings and you can still be a great mum at the same time. ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:19:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461164&title=regretting-parenthood#461164 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : Now , for me the main thing that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461142&title=regretting-parenthood#461142 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 1:07pm

Now , for me the main thing that puts in perspective is thinking how blessed and lucky i am to be part of my childs life and see her grow up , kiss her when she cries, feel the exhaustion that only a mother of a sleepless baby can know....because there are plenty of mothers out there whos children have passed away, who would give anything for just a minute of what im often complaining about .
And i think of my friend, and what she didnt get to see, because she passed away so soon after her daughters birth .

I know that doesnt work , or apply for/to everyone, just what I try and do ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:07:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461142&title=regretting-parenthood#461142 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : nikkiwhyte wrote:Sometimes...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461067&title=regretting-parenthood#461067 Author: My3Sons
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 11:51am

Originally posted by nikkiwhyte nikkiwhyte wrote:


Sometimes I deprive myself of a social life because it's easier to stay at home and do nothing. But then when I do get out I feel so much better and more in touch with the world.

Soooo true Nikki!!  Or its cold out, the kids wont settle without me, I have nothing to wear etc etc...

]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:51:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461067&title=regretting-parenthood#461067 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : busymum wrote:What do you do...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461065&title=regretting-parenthood#461065 Author: My3Sons
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 11:49am

Originally posted by busymum busymum wrote:


What do you do when(if) you struggle with regrets?

Try to look at all the stuff I DO have, instead of what could have been, and like Emma said that the time the kids are little is so short, although it can seem neverending at times!  I notice this with my eldest being 7, it was only a few years ago that he was one of my babies too, and now I have to chase him to get a kiss or a cuddle lol!!

]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:49:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461065&title=regretting-parenthood#461065 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : I don&#039;t regret it but I totally...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461042&title=regretting-parenthood#461042 Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 11:27am

I don't regret it but I totally wasn't prepared to still have no sleep at 6 months:)but then I look at him in the morning and realise how lucky I am ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:27:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461042&title=regretting-parenthood#461042 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : Yep, I totally get that too. I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461006&title=regretting-parenthood#461006 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 10:42am

Yep, I totally get that too. I don't regret Hannah for a second but man alive I wish I'd not got preggo in the first place sometimes! (I think my reasons are pretty obvious)

I think you just have to ride it out... and remember that kids aren't young forever and you get a bit more of your independence back every day. And also, that they are fairly adaptable and you don't have to give up your life for them.

I remember when I was a kid, being carted off to my parents' friends houses and crashing in their beds after dinner and then being taken home later. I don't think I suffered for it and mum and dad managed a social life.

Sometimes I deprive myself of a social life because it's easier to stay at home and do nothing. But then when I do get out I feel so much better and more in touch with the world.

So maybe invite her over for dinner or something?

]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 10:42:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=461006&title=regretting-parenthood#461006 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : I never regret having DD and Def...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460990&title=regretting-parenthood#460990 Author: Roksana
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 10:27am

I never regret having DD and Def not going to regret having this one....altho some times I feel down when DH goes out to parties or "Boys night Out" and I stay home either because DD is sick or what ever! I choose not to go out much as I am a working mum and feel that every min I have with DD is precious....But thats just me. Like LIZ...I think the big cuddles...I love you mumma...Mumma youre my friend ..etc helps loads.

I also like Liz's idea of keeping a note book of all the funny things they say or do to remind us how wonderful our kids are!! ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 10:27:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460990&title=regretting-parenthood#460990 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : we were just talking about that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460827&title=regretting-parenthood#460827 Author: james
Subject: 19851
Posted: 06 August 2008 at 3:47am

we were just talking about that today but just like everyone here i just have to miss him or even look at him and it all goes away maybe your friends feel the need to take back some control in her life maybe haveing some "me time" may help her ]]> Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:47:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460827&title=regretting-parenthood#460827 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : busymum wrote: What do you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460806&title=regretting-parenthood#460806 Author: tishy
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 11:04pm

Originally posted by busymum busymum wrote:


What do you do when(if) you struggle with regrets?


If I was in that situation and didn't feel as if I was improving then I would try to talk to someone about it. There are lots of options like Counsellers, NLP Practitioners or Life coaches that could help get some direction back into her life.]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 23:04:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460806&title=regretting-parenthood#460806 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : sorry i didnt mean to post that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460793&title=regretting-parenthood#460793 Author: kathyandbub
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 10:42pm

sorry i didnt mean to post that lol!! its a bit late haha. anyway i now have to think bout somone else besides me and i cant just do what i want but i enjoy it now and i wouldnt change him for anything]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 22:42:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460793&title=regretting-parenthood#460793 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : hi im new here, but this is something...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460791&title=regretting-parenthood#460791 Author: kathyandbub
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 10:40pm

hi im new here, but this is something i have had to deal with to. i dont regret my son at all but mayb the timing a little bit. it forcrd me to grow up fast and i now have to think about somone else b]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 22:40:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460791&title=regretting-parenthood#460791 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : Yeah, as Robbie WIliams says...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460761&title=regretting-parenthood#460761 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 10:11pm

Yeah, as Robbie WIliams says "no regrets ,they dont work ..."

Edited by caitlynsmygirl]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 22:11:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460761&title=regretting-parenthood#460761 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : busymum wrote:What do you do...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460741&title=regretting-parenthood#460741 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 9:56pm

Originally posted by busymum busymum wrote:

What do you do when(if) you struggle with regrets?


you just have to get on with it... regretting it wont change it...]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 21:56:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460741&title=regretting-parenthood#460741 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : After Issys tantrum today .. I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460717&title=regretting-parenthood#460717 Author: lilfatty
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 9:38pm

After Issys tantrum today .. I went for a run ... that made her seem easy ]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 21:38:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460717&title=regretting-parenthood#460717 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : i don&#039;t regret anything as...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460627&title=regretting-parenthood#460627 Author: lizzle
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 8:49pm

i don't regret anything as such, but sometimes it would be nice to just say "hey, lets go to Taupo for the weekend" and not have to pack everything to get there. going in when they are sleepy and hearing the sleepy "i love you mummy" helps.

I've also started diaries for the boys - where I put the funny things they say, so reading that and going through the pics helps too.]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:49:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460627&title=regretting-parenthood#460627 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : I remind myself that it&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460615&title=regretting-parenthood#460615 Author: Maya
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 8:43pm

I remind myself that it's only hard for such a short time. That the baby/toddler/preschool years will be over so quickly, that makes me want to make the most of them.]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:43:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460615&title=regretting-parenthood#460615 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : cliche , but i just count my blessings...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460603&title=regretting-parenthood#460603 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 8:37pm

cliche , but i just count my blessings
sure , being a single mum (tho im not anymore) ive missed out on some stuff but i what ive gained is far more important, and the only time life stops , is when your dead , so you just put somethings off til your better able to do them , eg when babies older.

Most of the time all i have to do to remind myself how lucky i am to have her, i just have to miss her for awhile ]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:37:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460603&title=regretting-parenthood#460603 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : When in Palmy Ihand the children...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460598&title=regretting-parenthood#460598 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 8:36pm

When in Palmy I hand the children to the in laws so I can have me time.

]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:36:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460598&title=regretting-parenthood#460598 <![CDATA[Regretting parenthood? : Not me, but a friend of mine struggles...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460584&title=regretting-parenthood#460584 Author: busymum
Subject: 19851
Posted: 05 August 2008 at 8:31pm

Not me, but a friend of mine struggles on and off with being a parent. She's a SAHM but I don't think that going back to work would "solve" things for her. It's more that she feels she has lost her freedom, options to stay up late, being able to make decisions for only #1 and all those things.

What do you do when(if) you struggle with regrets?]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:31:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19851&PID=460584&title=regretting-parenthood#460584