OHbaby! Forums : Balance https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 07 Apr 2026 01:49:25 +0000 Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:16:45 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=20263 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Balance : caitlynsmygirl wrote:but i...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=473028&title=balance#473028 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 20263
Posted: 22 August 2008 at 6:16pm

Originally posted by caitlynsmygirl caitlynsmygirl wrote:



but i have no problem giving C cuddles, heck , id cuddle her all day if she would let me .
But i find it amusing watching children fall over, and no reaction , then as soon as mum says "*gasp* are you alright ! " they start crying .
I never did that , i would wait for her real reaction first .

 

Me too.

]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:16:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=473028&title=balance#473028 <![CDATA[Balance : I work with cry babies, well ,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472986&title=balance#472986 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 20263
Posted: 22 August 2008 at 5:06pm

I work with cry babies, well , patients anyway ,and the biggest cry babies are the pre teen , to mid teen boys , who come in with their mummies holding their hands
I feel embarrassed for the boys, except you can tell they love the attention their mothers give them .
Id rather my child did not have that trait personally (and dont even get me startd on the mother that told her 16 year old son that his school should be making sure he eats his lunch , i nearly died from laughter )

but i have no problem giving C cuddles, heck , id cuddle her all day if she would let me .
But i find it amusing watching children fall over, and no reaction , then as soon as mum says "*gasp* are you alright ! " they start crying .
I never did that , i would wait for her real reaction first .]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 17:06:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472986&title=balance#472986 <![CDATA[Balance : Lol this thread reminds me of...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472954&title=balance#472954 Author: SquishysMum
Subject: 20263
Posted: 22 August 2008 at 4:30pm

Lol this thread reminds me of the things my mum would say to us if we hurt ourselves...

"Did you leave a hole in the concrete? Better go and look"
"Quick! Amputation at the neck!"

Of course it was only ever when she could see we were actually ok...]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:30:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472954&title=balance#472954 <![CDATA[Balance : I don&#039;t think anyone tries...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472767&title=balance#472767 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 20263
Posted: 22 August 2008 at 1:42pm

I don't think anyone tries to make a 'crybaby' child but I think there are a lot worse personality traits to have. If my two want cuddles I give them to them.]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:42:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472767&title=balance#472767 <![CDATA[Balance : This might sound a bit harsh but...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472751&title=balance#472751 Author: BaAsKa
Subject: 20263
Posted: 22 August 2008 at 1:26pm

This might sound a bit harsh but if Bay is getting carried away with his crying over something so minor we just say to him "are you dying? no? your alright then" and he always replies "well yes im ok then". Sometimes we do the "oppsie your alright son" or if it is bad we wait for the reaction then cuddle and say "aw my son son you ok?"]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:26:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472751&title=balance#472751 <![CDATA[Balance : caitlynsmygirl wrote:You guys...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472566&title=balance#472566 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 20263
Posted: 22 August 2008 at 9:21am

Originally posted by caitlynsmygirl caitlynsmygirl wrote:

You guys are too soft , i point at her and laugh



Kidding , kidding , i wait to see her reaction , and then i ask if she wants a hug from mummy

 

What do you mean kidding?  IMO sometimes it's impossible not to laugh and/or say "I told you so".  It's a great parenting technique, we're teaching our kids not to take themselves too seriously.

]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 09:21:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472566&title=balance#472566 <![CDATA[Balance : Lol Kelly, you made me snort! ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472431&title=balance#472431 Author: caraMel
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 10:01pm

Lol Kelly, you made me snort!]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:01:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472431&title=balance#472431 <![CDATA[Balance : You guys are too soft , i point...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472314&title=balance#472314 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 7:57pm

You guys are too soft , i point at her and laugh



Kidding , kidding , i wait to see her reaction , and then i ask if she wants a hug from mummy ]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:57:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472314&title=balance#472314 <![CDATA[Balance : Oooo I really like the &#039;do...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472288&title=balance#472288 Author: Jennz
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 7:18pm

Oooo I really like the 'do you need a hug'- will definitely be trying that one out! One thing I do worry is that she is doing it to get attention and also because all her classmates tend to be on the soft side of things that she now thinks its just how people behave!

]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:18:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472288&title=balance#472288 <![CDATA[Balance : Jennz i&#039;m 35 and I still...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472270&title=balance#472270 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 6:57pm

Jennz i'm 35 and I still get upset when I have a fall, I think its a normal reaction.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:57:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472270&title=balance#472270 <![CDATA[Balance : MrsMojo wrote:We generally...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472170&title=balance#472170 Author: MorgansMum
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 4:17pm

Originally posted by MrsMojo MrsMojo wrote:

We generally wait to see how she reacts before we do anything.  Generally she'll pick herself up and brush herself off, sometimes she'll come over to grab a hug before running back to play.  When she does cry we know it's serious and will comfort her.


This tends to be what we do to]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:17:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472170&title=balance#472170 <![CDATA[Balance : I too love the &#034;do you need...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472132&title=balance#472132 Author: lilfatty
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 3:49pm

I too love the "do you need a hug" scenario ... Im definately going to try that when Issy is older.

At the moment if she bumps her head or something I tend to watch her for a reaction first ... a cry gets a big hug and a rub .. an "ouch" gets an ooopsy daisy and a smile to cheer her up.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:49:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472132&title=balance#472132 <![CDATA[Balance : Love the &#039;do you need a hug&#039;...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472060&title=balance#472060 Author: surfergirl
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 2:20pm

Love the 'do you need a hug' and 'how long is it going to hurt for' thing too!
I'm not a parent yet, but I hope that I'll be able to use phrases like those. I have done a bit of reading lately that has suggested saying "that didn't hurt" etc is NOT helpful to kids, but that it's better to acknowledge their pain/hurt and then move on by saying something like "wow, that must have hurt. What can we do to make it better" etc - but if a kid's crying how do you not run to hug them??
Meh, we all learn as we go don't we. But in NZ we sure have a thing against 'wimps'.

Edited by surfergirl]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:20:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472060&title=balance#472060 <![CDATA[Balance : Hehe I like that one Tishy! Jack&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472005&title=balance#472005 Author: emz
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 11:36am

Hehe I like that one Tishy!

Jack's only little obviously, but from day one we did the big smile with 'woops, that was a bit silly' and then if he doesn't scream 'you're OK' and give him a tickle. We were told to do that at AN classes when you dunk baby in the bath (come on everyone does it) and not once has Jack cried.

Funny you say about a touchy baby Arohanui, Jack has been exposed to noise, people, cameras everything from day one but for some reason he's a bit 'precious' when it comes to other kids crying and goes it in sympathy every time What a sook! Otherwise he's OK, he bumps his head all the time and people ask if they should pick him up. I'm like nup if he's hurt, he'll cry, if he's not, he'll learn to move around the obstacle.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:36:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472005&title=balance#472005 <![CDATA[Balance : I like the &#039;Do you need a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472000&title=balance#472000 Author: tishy
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 11:28am

I like the 'Do you need a hug' too.

What DH says to toddlers if they're crying after hurting themselves is "Will hurt for 2 minutes or 5 minutes?" The reaction is classic, there's a pause in the crying as they think about how sore it actually is and then the crying normally stops , eases off after that.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:28:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=472000&title=balance#472000 <![CDATA[Balance : Just thinking about this, it&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471891&title=balance#471891 Author: arohanui
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:23am

Just thinking about this, it's amazing how babies have such different temperaments. There's this baby is our coffee group who cries if a camera flashes or when Harry squeals... must be hard to deal with!! But then I don't know if it's just cos he hasn't been exposed to that thing very much (from day one Harry has been exposed to noise, cameras flashing etc) or if it's just his temperament. Or a combination of the 2. ]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:23:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471891&title=balance#471891 <![CDATA[Balance : Oh I like that &#034;do you need...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471887&title=balance#471887 Author: arohanui
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:20am

Oh I like that "do you need at hug" thing. Will use that when my boy is older.

Harry's at the age where he's starting to hurt himself more - rolling into stuff, sometimes misjudging the whole moving from sitting to tummy thing. We usually go "whoopsy daisy" in a happy voice and wait and see how he reacts. If he cries I go straight to him and give him a cuddle, then he's fine. But half the time what I think must have hurt or given him a fright obviously didn't, and he just carries on playing!]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:20:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471887&title=balance#471887 <![CDATA[Balance : I&#039;m in the wait and see corner....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471867&title=balance#471867 Author: .Mel
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 8:50am

I'm in the wait and see corner. If one of them falls I just stop what I'm doing and see how they react to what's happened... normally if there are tears they get a hug and then it's back to business.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 08:50:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471867&title=balance#471867 <![CDATA[Balance : jack is abit of a wimp but that&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471845&title=balance#471845 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 8:17am

jack is abit of a wimp but that's just his personality   if he 'hurts' himself and i don't think it's serious i just say 'woops, your okay' give him a wee rub and then direct him to something else.
generally he'll stop crying and carry on as normal.
if he keeps crying, i ask him where it hurts and give him a hug etc
]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 08:17:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471845&title=balance#471845 <![CDATA[Balance : We generally wait to see how she...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471844&title=balance#471844 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 8:16am

We generally wait to see how she reacts before we do anything.  Generally she'll pick herself up and brush herself off, sometimes she'll come over to grab a hug before running back to play.  When she does cry we know it's serious and will comfort her.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 08:16:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471844&title=balance#471844 <![CDATA[Balance : With our two, when they fall or...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471840&title=balance#471840 Author: caraMel
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 8:10am

With our two, when they fall or hurt themselves, and we don't think its too serious we tend to just help them up and say "oopsy daisy!" with a big smile. If they still cry we ask them to tell us where they got hurt and give it a rub and get them taking deep breaths to help them calm down.
I think for us its just a matter of us providing comfort but not making a big fuss of it, if it was just a minor incident as they learn from our reactions to things.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 08:10:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471840&title=balance#471840 <![CDATA[Balance : diane levy has a great thing about...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471825&title=balance#471825 Author: lizzle
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 6:58am

diane levy has a great thing about this that we use with our boys. basically when our kids hurt themselves we don't go to them,, but say "do you need a hug?" sometimes they will cry over nothing and come for a hu,. but most of the time they will say "no, I'm okay" and run off. i love the idea of being there if i'm needed, but letting the boys decide if they need me or not.]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:58:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471825&title=balance#471825 <![CDATA[Balance : with james being so clusmys he...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471822&title=balance#471822 Author: james
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 6:05am

with james being so clusmys he ia always falling over if he hadnt hurt himself i tell him to get up and he just keeps going but if he has hurt himself i always give him a cuddle james is quite a tuffff kid but i would never deney him a cuddle if he was hurt i think thats quite mean]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:05:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471822&title=balance#471822 <![CDATA[Balance : What do you guys think about the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471813&title=balance#471813 Author: Jennz
Subject: 20263
Posted: 21 August 2008 at 3:47am

What do you guys think about the balance between comforting your child when they are hurt and not creating 'cry babies'?

I've been thinking about this a fair bit lately- one thing I have noticed over here in the area we live the vast majority of children are very 'soft' compared to NZ kids (gross generalisation but just what I've found in most cases). I have noticed a few times Charlotte has gone OTT when shes fallen over, or very slightly hurt herself and even though I am quick to comfort her I am also wanting her to toughen up a bit now as I don't want her to start to think that its normal.

I also remember being told a story about one of SILs kids when she was staying with the inlaws. She fell down the stairs and had quite obviously hurt herself and stood their rubbing her elbow, close to tears, but 'sucking it in' and chanting to herself "I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry". The inlaws were telling it like they thought it was a good thing- they had a good old laugh about it, but I just thought it was really sad    She was only 3 and was in obvious pain but she didn't feel she could cry because she had had it so pummelled into her to be tough.

So anyway, I'm finding it a bit tricky to get that balance by being her soft place to land- being there for her if shes hurt or upset but also not wanting her to be a sook ]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:47:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20263&PID=471813&title=balance#471813