https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 11 Apr 2026 04:46:28 +0000 Wed, 17 Sep 2008 20:30:41 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=20979 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=493477&title=child-custody#493477 Author: Maya
Subject: 20979
Posted: 17 September 2008 at 8:30pm

We had to do counselling, I went, he refused to go which wouldn't have helped his cause if he had wanted to contest custody.]]> Wed, 17 Sep 2008 20:30:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=493477&title=child-custody#493477 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=493401&title=child-custody#493401 Author: busymum
Subject: 20979
Posted: 17 September 2008 at 7:09pm

fattartsrock wrote: I'm pretty sure that the courts prefer them in their mothers care unless they are unsafe?

The Court is sometimes accused (by men LOL) of being biased in that direction but you can't rely on it. It definitely is not a general rule, but more likely for babies under 1yr.]]> Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:09:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=493401&title=child-custody#493401 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492678&title=child-custody#492678 Author: BabyOnBoard
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 10:08pm

I'm going through custody at the moment (totally differant situation for me tho)
They like to sort as much out through counselling as possible and as a good mother that has been there from day dot the worst she can get is joint custody. Well that is along the lines of what I was told :D]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:08:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492678&title=child-custody#492678 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492616&title=child-custody#492616 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 9:06pm

I'm pretty sure that the courts prefer them in their mothers care unless they are unsafe? Don't quote me on that though.

My cousin recently had to jump through hoops of fire and set an precident f r men in NZ to get his daughter removed by cypfs from her p addicted living in a gang house with an abusive boyfriend mother. It took a LONG LONG time for him to get her, I'm talking a couple of years, too,even though she was in such danger.]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 21:06:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492616&title=child-custody#492616 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492597&title=child-custody#492597 Author: Candkids
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 8:55pm

Maya wrote: Sounds like you have heaps of advice already but my two cents worth lol... When I left Willie the Police told me that if he came and tried to take Maya they couldn't legally stop him unless they believed she would be in danger by going with him as he is her joint legal guardian. They advised me to commence custody proceedings immediately so the next day I rang the Family Court and found a lawyer that could do legal aid and got the process started. .

YEP scary huh

my ex swore black and blue he was getting custody and he was sooooo manuplitive i really believed he would

when sarah was 6mths her dad got in a mood with me when he was dropping her back 1 day and took off with her!
i phoned the police who basicly said oh well we hope he brings her back as we cant do anything!

i got a lawyer ASAP
basicly we had to go to councelling, you can choose to go seperatly or togeather, sarah didnt need a lawyer as she was too young.
then i put forward a proposal of what i deemed sutible access arangements etc, he wouldnt aggree to any of them so 12mths later it went to the family court, and then . . .
we ended up with the same arangement i had proposed in the first place.!
i have full custody (for a number of reasons)and he has access 2 weekends out of every month.

just make sure if in the event of your death you dont want the kids living with their father, you need to state why and also have your lawyer draw up a letter stating why and add it to your will]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:55:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492597&title=child-custody#492597 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492580&title=child-custody#492580 Author: jaz
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 8:48pm

I gather if the parents can't agree and both want the children the courts will appoint a lawyer who will act in the best interests of the child (rather than the parents each having a lawyer who tries to get custody no matter what is best for the child). Shared custody is often a workable option. ]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:48:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492580&title=child-custody#492580 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492491&title=child-custody#492491 Author: Maya
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 7:47pm

Sounds like you have heaps of advice already but my two cents worth lol...

When I left Willie the Police told me that if he came and tried to take Maya they couldn't legally stop him unless they believed she would be in danger by going with him as he is her joint legal guardian. They advised me to commence custody proceedings immediately so the next day I rang the Family Court and found a lawyer that could do legal aid and got the process started.

It was relatively straight forward for me coz Willie didn't contest it, we separated in June and the final order was thru in October. I only had to appear before the judge once and Willie never bothered to show at all. ]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:47:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492491&title=child-custody#492491 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492454&title=child-custody#492454 Author: busymum
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 6:56pm

Will PM you ]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:56:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492454&title=child-custody#492454 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492369&title=child-custody#492369 Author: Deez
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 4:36pm

They will all need to go through counselling.....the children will have their own lawyer i believe.

I think but dont quote me on this that the lawyers try and settle things outside of court through mediation/counselling. If nothing can be agreed on then it goes to court.
]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 16:36:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492369&title=child-custody#492369 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492315&title=child-custody#492315 Author: Roksana
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 3:40pm

I dont know much about it but I am sure if the father contests then courts will get involved. I would have thought Mum gets the kids unless some one can prove that she is a BAD Mother...now BAD has to be the extreme kind!! Surely!! (Well I hope).

Why doesnt your friend call the Citizen Advise and ask for some family Lawyer's contact details? most of them give you 10min on the phone advice for free and they dont even ask for your name or contact details. I have used this many many times for many diff reasons and it was great. Its a starting point surely!!]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:40:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492315&title=child-custody#492315 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492306&title=child-custody#492306 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 20979
Posted: 16 September 2008 at 3:30pm

Anyone know what the deal is with this?

A friend of mine is splitting with her hubby, and he's said he's going to go for custody of their children. She's beside herself cos he's a pretty determined guy and would probably go to great lengths to make out she's a bad mother. Which of course she absolutely is not, but she's terrified nonetheless.

Do children automatically go with their mum, or does the family court get involved straight away??]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:30:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20979&PID=492306&title=child-custody#492306