OHbaby! Forums : I think my marrige is over https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 05 May 2026 00:32:57 +0000 Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:19:55 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=22836 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : thinking of you too ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=569412&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#569412 Author: Chickaboo
Subject: 22836
Posted: 17 December 2008 at 9:19pm

thinking of you too ]]> Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:19:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=569412&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#569412 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : haven&#039;t seen you around for...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=569191&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#569191 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 22836
Posted: 17 December 2008 at 7:26pm

haven't seen you around for a while hun.......hope things are improving for you??

hugs hun ]]> Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:26:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=569191&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#569191 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : wow that sounds to be a really...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=568961&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#568961 Author: skp
Subject: 22836
Posted: 17 December 2008 at 2:42pm

wow that sounds to be a really tough situation, I don't have any step children so can't really comment other than I think he is milking it a bit with lying around all day etc. Don't give up on your marriage though hun, try counselling before you decide what to do because there must have been love there to get married and have kids etc.


]]> Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:42:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=568961&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#568961 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Same, have been thinking of you....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=568942&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#568942 Author: Jessica
Subject: 22836
Posted: 17 December 2008 at 2:33pm

Same, have been thinking of you. I hope that things have improved somehow. Hugs

]]> Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:33:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=568942&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#568942 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Hi Annie, I have been thinking...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=568832&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#568832 Author: pikelets
Subject: 22836
Posted: 17 December 2008 at 1:38pm

Hi Annie,

I have been thinking about you and was wondering how you are getting on.

I hope things are improving for you.
]]> Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:38:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=568832&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#568832 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : No advice for you, just some cyber...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=558077&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#558077 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 10:28pm

No advice for you, just some cyber hugs.

]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:28:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=558077&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#558077 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Hugs Annie. I don&#039;t know...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=558075&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#558075 Author: KiwiL
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 10:24pm

Hugs Annie. I don't know you well, but you've been really helpful to me and it sounds very unpleasant to be feeling this way.

I hope that you can sort your issues, or move on, because your happiness, and the children's happiness is paramount. Keep your chin up!

Thinking of you. xx]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:24:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=558075&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#558075 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Thinking of you too , being a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557960&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557960 Author: nictoddie
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 8:00pm

Thinking of you too , being a step parent is the hardest job in the world especially to teenagers! So I take my hat off to you, I have a step daughter who is 16 but we hardly have seen much of her since she hit the teens as she now has a social life. We have been through a few ruff patches in our marraige and have had time apart on two ocassions for about 6 months each time, the second time we did the counselling through the courts and it was very helpful, we have been back together for just over 2 years and while life will never be perfect it is alot better than it was before, has it's moments but we get there, wishing you all the best with the huge decisions you need to make and well done for talking about it ]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:00:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557960&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557960 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : So sorry you are going through...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557737&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557737 Author: Kellz
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 3:35pm

So sorry you are going through such a rough time Annie. Worst time of the year too for it all to be happening too
Thinking of you ]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:35:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557737&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557737 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Hi everyone Thanks for your kind...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557675&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557675 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 2:36pm

Hi everyone

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts. To be honest I just don't know anything anymore. I am going to apply thru the courts for some councelling, I think we need it, we had some issues before SS moved n and things just compounded.

The main thing is the fighting and N and his attitude and fight picking is affecting the little ones. Jake gets very upset, and as much as I try to reassure him I'm not mad or Dad or N isn't mad at him, its hard to know what goes on in their heads. Charlotte just crys and has become very very clingy.

Someone asked if I still love him, and to be honest, I just don't know anymore. I don't know if its just my anger and hurt clouding over things or what at the moment. I just want it to be good again, and if I'm honest for DSS to patch things up at his mothers and go back, but I know that is never going to happen and I just have to suck it up. He is here for good and I have to learn to live with it, this is the new normal for us now. He is on school holidays now, and I am praying he gets a job, or I am scared I will go postal by the end of the holidays.

I know alot of it is my selfish issues, but I am really struggling. Like I said we wee very rocky beofre DSS moved in. I said to R last night I felt he cared more about his ex wifes marriage problems than his own at the moment.

Agh. I hate this.]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:36:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557675&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557675 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Thinking of you Annie. ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557398&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557398 Author: Lisha
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 9:54am

Thinking of you Annie. ]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 09:54:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557398&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557398 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Oh Annie, I&#039;m really sorry...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557355&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557355 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 8:41am

Oh Annie, I'm really sorry to read this sad post.

I'll send you a PM.

]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 08:41:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557355&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557355 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Oh Annie! Agree...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557304&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557304 Author: daikini
Subject: 22836
Posted: 02 December 2008 at 7:34am

Oh Annie!


Agree with the councelling - you can get free relationship councelling through the family courts.]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 07:34:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=557304&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#557304 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Sorry to hear that things are...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556495&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556495 Author: pikelets
Subject: 22836
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:41am



Sorry to hear that things are not going well for you.

It sounds like this has become a huge problem that the two of you may not be able to solve on your own. I agree with the suggestion of counselling. It may not work but at least you tried for yourself and your family and you can tell your kids one day that you did your best.   Having a teenager around must be really hard. Your DH probably doesnt know how to handle it so may learn some great tips/info from the counsellor to do with that as well as your relationship.

All the very best. I really hope it works out for you.

]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:41:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556495&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556495 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : I&#039;m so sorry Annie, to hear...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556409&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556409 Author: my4beauties
Subject: 22836
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 9:33am

I'm so sorry Annie, to hear things aren't good at the moment.  One thing I wanted to suggest, though it has been said already, is to have a "meeting" with R, and talk about how you're feeling.  You both have issues with each other which need to be addressed, and especially with N coming to live with you now, that really needs to be talked about and you need to let R know how much it affects you and the other children having a teenager new in the house.  I've found when I'm upset with my Dh that talking to him takes a huge load off, and at least then he knows why I'm angry at him and the cause if why I've acted b*tchy to him.  Instead of him getting angry back at me and us both being unhappy.  It might not help, but a good talk can't hurt, right?

 

]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:33:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556409&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556409 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : annie ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556396&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556396 Author: mum2emj
Subject: 22836
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 9:18am

annie ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:18:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556396&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556396 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : awww hun no advice,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556376&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556376 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 22836
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 8:41am

awww hun

no advice, it's all been said.....but lots and lots of hugs for you hun! ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 08:41:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556376&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556376 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Sounds like things are definitely...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556318&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556318 Author: Jennz
Subject: 22836
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:30am



Sounds like things are definitely getting on top of you guys!
I agree with the marriage counselling- and what about setting up a family meeting with the teen? If you, DH and him all sit down at the table one night and talk about where you are going to go from here. Then you can vent out how you are feeling to both of them and hopefully come up with some solutions together.]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 02:30:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556318&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556318 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Big hugs hun!! ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556109&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556109 Author: Kels
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 6:07pm

 Big hugs hun!!

]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:07:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556109&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556109 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Big hugs Annie ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556078&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556078 Author: susieq
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 5:02pm

Big hugs Annie]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 17:02:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556078&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556078 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Hey I am so sorry to hear that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556074&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556074 Author: miss
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 4:57pm

Hey I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time :( Dumb!

I think that applying for councelling through the courts is a great idea. Even if your DH won't go for it, they will see you alone whcih can give you tools to manage things. You just get the forms fromt he courts.

in the mean time, is there any way you can start squirrelling a little money away each week? I would suggest opening an account which somewhere as the teenager sounds the sort to hunt for hidden cash and you don't want to get him finding it. Then start paying into it whatever you can - getting some off the shopping etc.

That way it can be a little emergency nest should you need to leave, or if things get better, it can be used for a second honeymoon :)

And don't worry if you are only getting the amount of a bottle of milk or whatever each week, as that is a start, every bit helps.

Just make sure that you have all communication going to an email he hasn't got access to, and if htey have to write maybe have your postal address as a friends, rather than y ours.]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 16:57:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556074&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556074 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Aw chick, what an awful time for...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556001&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556001 Author: Andie
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 1:56pm

Aw chick, what an awful time for you!    
Sounds like you and R need to really lay things out on the table, and I agree, even if you tried counselling and it didn't work out (but hey, it does work out too!) you'd know you'd tried. For what it's worth, I think it sounds like you're trying to soooo do the right thing for his son, and it stinks that you're not being backed up on that. ]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 13:56:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=556001&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#556001 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : big hugs hun ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555955&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555955 Author: james
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 12:11pm

big hugs hun]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 12:11:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555955&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555955 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : i agree with the above in regards...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555929&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555929 Author: McPloppy
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 10:58am

i agree with the above in regards to counceling.   Also it important to keep the lines of communication open with DH. Is there a way of letting him know that N needs boundaries and consistency now more than ever. Does N go to school? ]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 10:58:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555929&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555929 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Aw Annie. xoxoxoxoxox ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555928&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555928 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 10:52am

Aw Annie. xoxoxoxoxox]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 10:52:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555928&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555928 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Agree with seeking marriage counselling...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555903&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555903 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 10:04am

Agree with seeking marriage counselling it may help to talk it through with a third party, as you may not be seeing things from each other's point of view.
Do you love your husband? ]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 10:04:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555903&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555903 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Annie, chick things do sound pretty...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555902&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555902 Author: caraMel
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 10:04am

Annie, chick things do sound pretty awful.
I agree with Mel and Liz, if R is willing, try counselling before you make any final decisions. As Liz said, at least then, even if it doesn't work out, you'll know that you did fight for your marriage and things couldn't be resolved.
Does R know you're feeling almost ready to leave?
Big giant hugs, thinking of you Annie. ]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 10:04:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555902&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555902 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Annie - firstly big hugs. I agree...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555862&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555862 Author: lizzle
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 8:37am

Annie - firstly big hugs.

I agree with the marriage councelling - even if it doesn't work. you can say you did EVERYTHING to try and work things out.

to be honest, it sounds like R is being unreasonable with his kid - I mean I understand that it must be hard for N being in a new environment, but kids are very very sneaky and NEED those boundaries. When my parents divorced I stayed at Dad's and m stepmothers sometimes, I was very manipulative and could tunr on the tears when things went an alternative route to what i wanted. It was all for show and all to see how muchI could get away with.

When I was teaching in Gisborne we had this girl who was a right little biartch. Then i found out her home life was horrendous. truly horrible and I felt sorry for her. My associate teacher said don't. She needs to learn life lessons and she certainly won't get them at home, so we have to teach her - that doesn't mean we let her get away with stuff, but we have strict boundaries on her - for her own good, so she can be a good adult.

So, after all that rambling. You are right. And we have spare beds here if you need them. and rant away]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 08:37:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555862&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555862 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Annie, so sorry to hear that you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555844&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555844 Author: .Mel
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 7:42am

Annie, so sorry to hear that you are going thru a hard time at the moment.

What about marriage counselling or even family counselling. Your husband needs to realise that having a teenager in the house will be a huge change for not only you but on your kids.

The teenager needs to have some life lessons on respect and the like. I think you need to sit down with your husband and go over some ground rules, tell him no more excuses, that this CHILD needs to get a grip on things and stop being a dickhead!

What about hiding the remote for the tv during the day and only bringing it out in the evening once the little ones are in bed?

What do you want to do, do you want to stay and make it work or move on with the little kids and start afresh? Before you make any of these big decisions I would consider some kind of therapy for all of you.

Could you write DH a letter outlining how you are feeling?

Take care of yourself, and I hope the decision on what to do comes to you sooner rather than later.]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 07:42:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555844&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555844 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555835&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555835 Author: lovingmummyhood
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 7:25am

]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 07:25:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555835&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555835 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : First off Big hugs darl Secondly...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555828&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555828 Author: BuzzyBee
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 1:15am

First off Big hugs darl

Secondly WINZ are always there to help if you are at the point where you just want to get out, I don't know what you'd be entitled to exactly but if you are looking at leaving etc maybe it'd be a good idea to go down to your local winz office and talk to a case manager there, see what they can do to help you out for the time being.... I know its not the ideal way of life, but to get you and the kids sorted it is a starting point.

Take Care x]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 01:15:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555828&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555828 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555827&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555827 Author: Bubbaloo
Subject: 22836
Posted: 30 November 2008 at 1:06am

]]> Sun, 30 Nov 2008 01:06:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555827&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555827 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : Lots of hugs as you need it right...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555820&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555820 Author: Chickaboo
Subject: 22836
Posted: 29 November 2008 at 11:32pm


Lots of hugs as you need it right now]]> Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:32:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555820&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555820 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : oh sweet heart, I am so sorry...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555816&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555816 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 22836
Posted: 29 November 2008 at 11:23pm

oh sweet heart, I am so sorry , having never been married , i dont have any advice , but i need to give you a lot of 's

I hope someone on here has some advice for you , pm me if you just want to go "raaaaaahhhh!!!!" tho ...ykwim..]]> Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:23:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555816&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555816 <![CDATA[I think my marrige is over : I can&#039;t believe I am actually...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555813&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555813 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 22836
Posted: 29 November 2008 at 11:17pm

I can't believe I am actually saying this now.

Things have been a bit sh*t for a while now, we fight all the time over stupid thing, he thinks I'm too messy and he HATES my mother, and I think he is short tempered and over reacts over stupid things, like he blows his stack when he can't get in to something cos someone or something is in the way, and neither of us want to change, but both of us wants the other to. I shout and he hates it, and he makes all the decisions and I feel like all I do is amke comprimises. I am a SAHM becasue he didn't want me to go back to work, yet it gets thrown in my face all the time that its him that is keeping hte family afloat, paying for everything, etc. I whinge cos I do everything with the kids and they only want me to help them cos he dosen';t help out and when he does they just want me and he gives up and gets mad, I keep saying they only want me cos thats what they are used to.

Then 2 weeks ago his 16 yo son came to live with us permanently, and to be honest its the final straw. The kid is a law unto himself and I just get no say in any rules (and there dosen't appear to be any) yet I am expected to parent him during the day while R is at work, and cope with the mood swings and foul language and the lying on the couch all day channel surfing or staying in bloody bed till 5pm, the drinking, the not coming home on curfew, the groundingthat didn't even last 24 fricken hours. I realise I am a bit more "hard core" but I think going out is a priveldge not a right and he has to earn the right ot go out, no just go out when he pleases with no indicaiton of who and where and a whatever when there is a curfew.
R tells me I have to go easy on him cos he is "upset" and "depressed" etc, cos of hs stuation at his mothers (which was pretty bad) but I feel hwe are making excuses now and N is milking it and we need to start as we mean to go on rules wise. I feel like he is going out of his way to make N feel wanted and at home etc that he is actually pushing me (an d tehkids) out and I feel very unwelcome,a nd our relationship wasn't in good shape to start off with.
To be honest if I had the money,a ny money I would be out of here, but I just don't know where to start.
i am desperately unhappy.
Thanks for listening to my rant. ]]> Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:17:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22836&PID=555813&title=i-think-my-marrige-is-over#555813