OHbaby! Forums : Advice Needed https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Thu, 09 Apr 2026 23:41:40 +0000 Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:55:20 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=22857 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Pffft... Mothers eh... can&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=557055&title=advice-needed#557055 Author: MrsH
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:55pm

Pffft... Mothers eh... can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.

Surely she managed before you were living there, so I'm sure she'll manage once you move out. Either you guys cost her $300 to be there or she has adjusted her lifestyle to suit all this money coming in. If that's the case, she'll just have to adjust it back again.

Remember to let her know that it's nothing personal (even though it really is) so that she's not all paranoid and angry about it. And if she guilt trips you, try to ignore it.

Aargh.. Mums.]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:55:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=557055&title=advice-needed#557055 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : been there done that ( apart from...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=557027&title=advice-needed#557027 Author: Candkids
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:18pm

been there done that ( apart from the blind part)

its your life and you have to do what you think is best for your family not what your mum thinks is best, yea she'll get sh*tty at you but im sure she will get over it, my mum did
id give her a few weeks notice and explian that youd really like to be out on your own etc and that she will still see kylah all the time
im sure in the end she will see it from your point of view

perhaps she could get in a few of the asian student borders??
they pay really good $$$ and some of them are fantastic! my mum had 1 for a few years.]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:18:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=557027&title=advice-needed#557027 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Talk to winz Kandice, see if there...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556982&title=advice-needed#556982 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 5:29pm

Talk to winz Kandice, see if there is anything you would be entitled to as far as bond goes from them .

Good luck , you wont regret it , you'll probably find you feel more like a family unit in your own place ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:29:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556982&title=advice-needed#556982 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : I really do want to work on our...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556924&title=advice-needed#556924 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 4:30pm

I really do want to work on our relationship and its just not working here. Our relationship and Kylahs wellbeing is more important than anything to me.

I spoke to mum before and told her that id help her find a place in the new year and that DP and i would get a place.

So January it has to be as i start tech in febuary and wont have the time to move.

Yup we could find a rentl here for about $220 thats 2 bedrooms. Then around $100 for food and power will be small. So about $50 more a week and we could have our own place. So im going to start looking. We just dont have a bond :(]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 16:30:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556924&title=advice-needed#556924 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : As long as you give her enough...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556900&title=advice-needed#556900 Author: IVFGirl1111
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 4:06pm

As long as you give her enough notice - then she just has to be fine with it. Maybe you need to do the tough love thing with her.

Maybe tell her now that you guys are moving out in the new year?

Doesnt help though that your DH doesnt like your Mum, that doesnt help :(

But you want to restore your relationship and keep wee Kaylah happy - so I say MOVE before its to late!]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 16:06:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556900&title=advice-needed#556900 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Well the $300 that you pay covers...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556898&title=advice-needed#556898 Author: IVFGirl1111
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 4:04pm

Well the $300 that you pay covers food & power as well.

So she loses $300 a week - but she would GAIN say $150 a week - as thats how much roughly its costing her having you guys there (for power, food etc).

So really she is only $150 down a week - so dont beat yourself up over her losing $300 because shes not.

Does that make sense?]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 16:04:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556898&title=advice-needed#556898 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : I was moaning about paying 260...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556824&title=advice-needed#556824 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:52pm

I was moaning about paying 260 when I lived at my parents, and that was for the two rooms plus my share of the food etc, 300 , hell thats a lot girl !

and you said at the start of your post that you moved into your mums to save money , except it hasnt worked that way , Im not sure about rental prices in Christchurch , but you could find a 2 bedroom possibly for a lot less than 300, and after bills food etc, could start putting aside even just ten dollars a week .
I think you really really do want to go but are worried about how angry and hurt your mum will be , im with Danaj on this one , she must have managed before with out you , shes a grown woman and she is responsible for her own finances . ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:52:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556824&title=advice-needed#556824 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : She still expects us to pay the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556815&title=advice-needed#556815 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:47pm

She still expects us to pay the power too. Like at the moment shes running around complaining that the power is so high, and thats shes not the only one that lives in the house and someone else can pay some!

Grrr. I thought $300 was alot, but wasnt sure if it was too little or too much to be giving her.]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:47:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556815&title=advice-needed#556815 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Move out. I know you don&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556791&title=advice-needed#556791 Author: Danaj
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:26pm

Move out.

I know you don't want to leave your mum in the lurch but you're not responsible for fixing everything for everyone else.

She managed before you moved in didn't she?

I think you should shift and enjoy your family. ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:26:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556791&title=advice-needed#556791 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Wow, Kandice, no offence to your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556788&title=advice-needed#556788 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:23pm

Wow, Kandice, no offence to your mum , but with you guys paying all that , i dont see how she can ever have any reason to complain or moan at you !

I think its time you had that $300 to set up your own home with your family chick , thats a LOT of money ! ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:23:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556788&title=advice-needed#556788 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : The $300 pays for everything....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556776&title=advice-needed#556776 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:11pm

The $300 pays for everything. Food, Power, Rent. Phone and internet is free as i get it through work.]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:11:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556776&title=advice-needed#556776 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : So the $300 does that cover the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556754&title=advice-needed#556754 Author: IVFGirl1111
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 1:47pm

So the $300 does that cover the internet/phone, food, power etc?

Because if it does then she might be better off without you guys financially anyway - if that makes sense?]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:47:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556754&title=advice-needed#556754 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : I would move too $300 is quite...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556745&title=advice-needed#556745 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 1:33pm

I would move too $300 is quite a lot you guys could get a pretty decent house for less than that. ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:33:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556745&title=advice-needed#556745 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : NeoshasMummy wrote:I would...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556554&title=advice-needed#556554 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 11:10am

Originally posted by NeoshasMummy NeoshasMummy wrote:

I would move... how are you saving money if you are spending that kind of cash?


We arent, we havent saved a cent!]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:10:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556554&title=advice-needed#556554 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : I would move... how are you saving...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556545&title=advice-needed#556545 Author: NeoshasMummy
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 11:04am

I would move... how are you saving money if you are spending that kind of cash?]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:04:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556545&title=advice-needed#556545 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : She isnt your responsibilty ,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556533&title=advice-needed#556533 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:55am

She isnt your responsibilty , i understand you being concerned and worried about her , but your responsibilty is DF and Kylah and creating a happy homelife for you guys.

as harsh as it may sound , i would let her know you are moving out , not if but definetly , and if she choses to stay and not afford it , then thats her problem at the end of the day , it might provide the push she needs to look for a smaller house ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:55:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556533&title=advice-needed#556533 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : She has a appointment on 31st...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556522&title=advice-needed#556522 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:52am

She has a appointment on 31st December with winz i think, and i try to talk to her about what shes entitled to but she just immediatly assume its nothing. That she has to go out and find a job, which shes ok with but she cant do a hell of alot. Shes so negitive about everything.

We are hosting our first christms here since i was born as my grandad died a couple of months back and nana no longer feels like doing christmas like we used too, understandably. Mum turned around and aid that shes going to have to work christmas day because she has no choice and christmas will just have to wait, she has holidays but doesnt care.

FYI she does have a job at the moment, she works 6 days a week cleaning for 3 hours a day, so its not enough.

I really want her to move to a smaller house, and we go find our own but she just doesnt!

GRRRR]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:52:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556522&title=advice-needed#556522 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : it wont get to the stage that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556516&title=advice-needed#556516 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:50am

it wont get to the stage that she wont be able to afford it , if she has to she could get a smaller cheaper house, your sister could pay more etc.

And our parents are responsible for their own finances , not you , your only 22 , how can you have made it that your mother is broke? if anything you have probably stopped her from being broke by paying so much money the last year .

My friend and her partner moved back with her parents before her baby was born , and she HATED it , they always knew how to rub her up the wrong way , and she and her partner fought a lot , for at least 4 months , then they married and her parents bought them a house for their present , made a huge difference, they were able to be a couple again and no longer fought .
Which was good, really good because a few months later her baby was born and 3 weeks after that she was dead.
And all that time she wasted thinking about offending her parents when she wasnt happy.
My friends case was extreme and rare, but same thing goes, life is too short to spend it living somewhere you are not happy . ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:50:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556516&title=advice-needed#556516 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : lilfatty wrote:Move .. my daughter...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556513&title=advice-needed#556513 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:49am

Originally posted by lilfatty lilfatty wrote:

Move .. my daughter comes first and Id want her to live in a happy loving family environment

 

I agree 100%

]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:49:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556513&title=advice-needed#556513 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Thats good that she great with...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556507&title=advice-needed#556507 Author: Kellz
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:46am

Thats good that she great with Kylah, but Kylah will be picking up if u guys arent happy and theres tention between u all.
Maybe find out what she would be entitled to from winz first, like Kelly said. Im sure if her eyesight is that bad she would get te sickness benfit. Guess u will all know more after the appt.]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:46:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556507&title=advice-needed#556507 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : She has an appointment with a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556500&title=advice-needed#556500 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:42am

She has an appointment with a eye place to see how much visabitily she has, shes not blind blind, she can read texts, and has HUGE glasses and contacts but they dont help.
Shes not legally blind though.

Shes awesome towards Kylah, she plays with her all the time and loves looking after her. Its towards me and DP that she can get snarky.

I just feel really bad, like what happens if she really cant afford it, it will be my fault!!]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:42:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556500&title=advice-needed#556500 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : I would leave. Lifes too short...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556481&title=advice-needed#556481 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:35am

I would leave.
Lifes too short to be living somewhere we're you arent happy.

I do understand tho , i lived with my parents for 3 years , and my biggest concern when we moved out was they wouldn't be able to cope financially , people can say , "its not your place to worry about " but its a lot different when its your parents .

Since your mum is nearly blind, could she get a sickness or disability allowance? that could help a bit with her finances ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:35:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556481&title=advice-needed#556481 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Big hugs to you. If I was in...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556475&title=advice-needed#556475 Author: pikelets
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:33am

Big hugs to you.


If I was in thta situation I would move. You are a family unit now so you should be looking after each other and being happy.

Can you perhaps contact the Blind Institute and see if they help with assistance of finding your Mum a job?

Good luck - I hope it all works out for you. ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:33:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556475&title=advice-needed#556475 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Move .. my daughter comes first...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556473&title=advice-needed#556473 Author: lilfatty
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:32am

Move .. my daughter comes first and Id want her to live in a happy loving family environment ]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:32:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556473&title=advice-needed#556473 <![CDATA[Advice Needed : Well, DF, Kylah and I moved into...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556442&title=advice-needed#556442 Author: MissCandice
Subject: 22857
Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:13am

Well, DF, Kylah and I moved into my mums to save money. We have almost been here a year and now i hate it!
I want to move but dont know how to tell my mum, and i dont know to be honest how she will survive without the money i give her each week.

DF thinks i shouldnt care but i do.

Shes just so moody and immature. She gets sh*tty and takes it out on everyone. She makes remarks that you know are about you but she doesnt have the balls to say it to you, IYKWIM

She says stupid things like 'I will just have to live on the street'

She cant work in many places because she is almost blind, she can barely see. I want to help find her a job she can do but shes limited to what she can do. She cant do anything with a computer, or anything that involves reading because she just cant see properly.

She has my 18yo sister here, who doesnt pay anything, my uncle who only pays $120, then we pay here $300 and buy bread and milk throughout the week, plus we buy everything for Kylah.

I just dont know what to do. DF and i both hate it, e have started arguing all the time again and i dont want this to get worse.

What would you do?

]]> Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:13:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22857&PID=556442&title=advice-needed#556442