OHbaby! Forums : Newly single mama https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Fri, 10 Apr 2026 03:55:51 +0000 Fri, 09 Jan 2009 11:59:00 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=23533 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Newly single mama : lizzle wrote:just to add to...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=582504&title=newly-single-mama#582504 Author: baalamb
Subject: 23533
Posted: 09 January 2009 at 11:59am

Originally posted by lizzle lizzle wrote:

just to add to that - as the child of divorced parents, hearing mum bag out dad always made me feel so bad - especially with comments like
"Oh, you are just like your father"

I totally agree with this too. It was really awful to be stuck in the middle, each parent sl*gging off the other. I'll never shake that 'torn' feeling! No advice, but big hugs. With loads of support, you'll do just fine, even if you feel like you're not!]]> Fri, 09 Jan 2009 11:59:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=582504&title=newly-single-mama#582504 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : just to add to that - as the child...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=582120&title=newly-single-mama#582120 Author: lizzle
Subject: 23533
Posted: 08 January 2009 at 9:42pm

just to add to that - as the child of divorced parents, hearing mum bag out dad always made me feel so bad - especially with comments like
"Oh, you are just like your father"]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:42:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=582120&title=newly-single-mama#582120 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : JD wrote: * dont &#039;bag&#039;...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=582094&title=newly-single-mama#582094 Author: Chickaboo
Subject: 23533
Posted: 08 January 2009 at 9:24pm

Originally posted by JD JD wrote:



* dont 'bag' your babies father. As tempting as it is, its not worth it to stoop to that level. They will always be their father so there is nothing positive by getting into sl*gging matches. It is extreemly hard to bite your tongue when your kids come saying "dad said you take all his money" or some other crap like that. Eventually they will see the error of both your ways.

!


I so agree with this statement I have never said a bad naming calling word about Ex with the kids present. Afterall it is who they are aswell. They learnt in time on their own so thats how I won ]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:24:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=582094&title=newly-single-mama#582094 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Ooooh, how exciting to be fought...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581941&title=newly-single-mama#581941 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 23533
Posted: 08 January 2009 at 7:25pm

Ooooh, how exciting to be fought over

I'm very good at sharing though...... ]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:25:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581941&title=newly-single-mama#581941 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : joshierocks wrote:And Jo.........]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581935&title=newly-single-mama#581935 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 23533
Posted: 08 January 2009 at 7:20pm

Originally posted by joshierocks joshierocks wrote:

And Jo...... I'm on to you.... but, ok

 

nah nah nah nah nah Mel - she's mine!

]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:20:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581935&title=newly-single-mama#581935 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Wow, thank you so much you fabulous...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581913&title=newly-single-mama#581913 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 23533
Posted: 08 January 2009 at 6:56pm

Wow, thank you so much you fabulous awesome women for your words of encouragement, support and advice    And to all of you who have sent me PM's - thank you too. I will get to responding to everyone

And Jo...... I'm on to you.... but, ok

I'm doing really well, and will keep you all posted as to whats happening with us.

Hugest big hugs to you all xxxx]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 18:56:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581913&title=newly-single-mama#581913 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I am married now, but I was a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581357&title=newly-single-mama#581357 Author: JD
Subject: 23533
Posted: 08 January 2009 at 9:50am

I am married now, but I was a single mum for 9 years before that.
My two biggest pieces of advise are...
* dont become a victom! Just because you are a single mum, doesn't mean you can't offer your family just as much as any one else. I shifted to another city, lived on the bones of my bum while studying and came out with the highest marks in my class even though the college doubted I would cope.   Try not to wallow in self-pity (its easy to do at times). People will give you funny looks, attitude, and tell you you 'can't' do stuff just because you are a single mum....rise above all this....and remember they don't know you, or your position....and you can bet your bottom dollar they haven't been in your posistion so they don't know the amount of courage and strength it takes to be a single mum.

* dont 'bag' your babies father. As tempting as it is, its not worth it to stoop to that level. They will always be their father so there is nothing positive by getting into sl*gging matches. It is extreemly hard to bite your tongue when your kids come saying "dad said you take all his money" or some other crap like that. Eventually they will see the error of both your ways.

Keep your chin up...there are worse things that have happened in this world.... You have your health, you have your life.....now time to get on and start living :-)

All the best! It takes a strong person to change their circumstances when you have so much at stake!]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 09:50:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581357&title=newly-single-mama#581357 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Big hugs hun and it does get easier...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581178&title=newly-single-mama#581178 Author: Kels
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 10:48pm

 Big hugs hun and it does get easier HONEST!!

PM me anytime, I have been a single mum to 3 for awhile now so can offer some support from my expreiences.

BTW you will better off single and happy (and you will be)  than unhappy together in a relationship....

 

]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:48:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581178&title=newly-single-mama#581178 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Hugs to you chickie. Not much...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581122&title=newly-single-mama#581122 Author: fattartsrock
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 9:44pm

Hugs to you chickie. Not much to add, as I am almost at this stge myself, however what gets me though is thinking it is the best thing I can do for my kids and my mental health. I hope you can find some happiness.]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 21:44:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581122&title=newly-single-mama#581122 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I have been there - I won&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581001&title=newly-single-mama#581001 Author: Chickaboo
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:34pm

I have been there - I won't lie at first its sooo hard and you go thru the 'What If' stage then the 'Could he change' stage then the 'F#cken B#stard' Stage (oh and that happens over and over ) But what kept me goign was MY kids and wanting a better life for them - I don't know the cercomstances (sp) behind your break up but that doesn't matter - what matters is you made the right choice for you and Josh (and one day Josh will thank you for it - believe me - my kids do)
Talking about it helps alot - and even helps when someone tells you off for looking at things with rose coloured glasses (you will - it happens)
and will add a hug to you and Josh as well - breaking up is so hard to do and even harder with a child but stay strong you have done the hardest part - now you need to do things for YOU and JOsh Have fun its not all doom and gloom I loved my single time with my kids when my Ex wasn't trying to stuff it up!]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:34:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=581001&title=newly-single-mama#581001 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Just want to add another *hug*...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580964&title=newly-single-mama#580964 Author: busymum
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:03pm

Just want to add another *hug* ]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:03:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580964&title=newly-single-mama#580964 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : they say leaving is the hardest...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580895&title=newly-single-mama#580895 Author: my2angels
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 7:00pm


they say leaving is the hardest part..... Havent done that myself so not sure if its true or not but wishing you all the best!]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 19:00:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580895&title=newly-single-mama#580895 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I hope you are ok. I would...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580894&title=newly-single-mama#580894 Author: CuriousG
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 6:58pm



I hope you are ok. I would have loved to have done lunch this week. Next time you are down I will BE THERE!

]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:58:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580894&title=newly-single-mama#580894 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Jo you can&#039;t have her she&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580799&title=newly-single-mama#580799 Author: .Mel
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 5:17pm

Jo you can't have her she's mine!

Honey you know we love you and won't let you be on your own for too long!!

You know where we are if you need us! You and Josh are welcome here ANYTIME!!!! ]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:17:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580799&title=newly-single-mama#580799 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I wish you the best of luck! just...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580687&title=newly-single-mama#580687 Author: FreeSpirit
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 3:18pm

I wish you the best of luck! just think, now you only have small children in the house (living with a man can be like having an extra child - no real help even when they try, and a real drain as they expect attention and to have you meet their needs for them) Have some fun! Reclaim your space - decorate, get some funky girly stuff in the LOUNGE, buy a gorgeous smelly thing for your bathroom, eat what you want, find as many positives in your new situation as you can.]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:18:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580687&title=newly-single-mama#580687 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Big hugs to you and Josh don&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580637&title=newly-single-mama#580637 Author: Bubbaloo
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 2:51pm

Big hugs to you and Josh don't have any advice just wanted to let you know am thinking of you.]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:51:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580637&title=newly-single-mama#580637 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580534&title=newly-single-mama#580534 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 1:17pm

]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 13:17:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580534&title=newly-single-mama#580534 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Not technicly single but routines...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580435&title=newly-single-mama#580435 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 11:34am

Not technicly single but routines really help.

and 's to you.

]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 11:34:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580435&title=newly-single-mama#580435 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : i have nothing to add either......but...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580289&title=newly-single-mama#580289 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 9:14am

i have nothing to add either......but just wanted to give you a

]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 09:14:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580289&title=newly-single-mama#580289 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Darn it, you uncovered my scheme...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580249&title=newly-single-mama#580249 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:38am

Darn it, you uncovered my scheme  shh don't tell Clare.]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:38:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580249&title=newly-single-mama#580249 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Just take it day by day..and it...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580248&title=newly-single-mama#580248 Author: ooEvaoo
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:38am

Just take it day by day..and it will get easier. My sisters have spent the majority of the parenthood being single, and the rest of the family played a huge part in helping them. Just think...you have you're beautiful boy all to your self now!!.
We're all here for ya as well.]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:38:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580248&title=newly-single-mama#580248 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I think most of Jo&#039;s ideas...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580236&title=newly-single-mama#580236 Author: lilfatty
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:18am

I think most of Jo's ideas involve moving all of us to Wellington ]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:18:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580236&title=newly-single-mama#580236 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I have a brilliant idea! Move...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580231&title=newly-single-mama#580231 Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:10am

I have a brilliant idea!  Move to Wellington and come and hang out with me

Seriously though honey as I've said to you before you've practically been a single parent for a long time.  I think that now you actually are a solo mum you might find friends and family come out of the woodwork to help because they know you're doing it all by yourself whereas previously they would have assumed the responsibility was shared.

I agree 100% with freckle, if you haven't already done so get the legal stuff sorted asap.

]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:10:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580231&title=newly-single-mama#580231 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : hi all i can say is take one day...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580216&title=newly-single-mama#580216 Author: james
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 7:41am

hi all i can say is take one day at a time and deff have me time each day big hugs ]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:41:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580216&title=newly-single-mama#580216 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Hey there, I was on my own with...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580215&title=newly-single-mama#580215 Author: freckle
Subject: 23533
Posted: 07 January 2009 at 7:39am

Hey there,
I was on my own with my oldest from when she was 9 months until she was 6... I totally agree with Buzzybee - surround yourself with family and friends... I had lots of support which made it soooo much easier.... I definitely didn't find it an easy road on my own but hell it was rewarding!! ... just knowing that I raised this most amazing kid and I did it on my own!!

One little bit of advice which I learnt the hard way is get the legal stuff sorted as soon as ya can!!

All the best to you, it will get easier!!]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:39:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580215&title=newly-single-mama#580215 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Nothing useful to say here, but...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580171&title=newly-single-mama#580171 Author: HippyMama
Subject: 23533
Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:31pm

Nothing useful to say here, but wanted to pass along my hugs Clare - I hope you have some family around for support?]]> Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:31:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580171&title=newly-single-mama#580171 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I can&#039;t give you any advice...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580161&title=newly-single-mama#580161 Author: BuzzyBee
Subject: 23533
Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:16pm

I can't give you any advice re: being newly single as I've always been single with the lil guy, but I can def tell ya that it gets easier to cope with the status. I spent most of my pregnancy dwelling on the fact that I was going to be a single mother, mostly because no one allowed me to enjoy my pregnancy and family/friends etc all felt sorry for me and they too dwelled on our situation (with his father jetting off to aussie at the first chance he got). It gets easier, infact when he was born I was too busy trying to be a model mother that I totally forgot it took the two of us to make him . Nearly 3 years down the track and I'm the happiest I've ever been (albiet it a little lonely SOMETIMES) but I love being in charge and doing my own thing. Give it time to sink in, surround yourself with family and friends and always allow yourself 'me time' at the end of the day once Josh is asleep.

Sorry if that wasn't much help, but big hugs darl. I'm sure .Mel will have some wonderful advice & words of wisdom too ]]> Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:16:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580161&title=newly-single-mama#580161 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : I was thinking about you the other...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580153&title=newly-single-mama#580153 Author: lilfatty
Subject: 23533
Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:09pm

I was thinking about you the other day (I hadnt seen you around in awhile) .. !

I cant help with practical advice as I havent been there ... but I would think its just like being newly single without a lil person ... each day gets a little easier.]]> Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:09:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580153&title=newly-single-mama#580153 <![CDATA[Newly single mama : Soooooo.... this is me.Newly single...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580147&title=newly-single-mama#580147 Author: Jay_R
Subject: 23533
Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:06pm

Soooooo.... this is me.   Newly single and wondering how on earth I'm meant to cope with my new status!

Would love to hear from any other newly single, or already single mums. Life is a bit scary at the moment!!]]> Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:06:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23533&PID=580147&title=newly-single-mama#580147