OHbaby! Forums : what to do https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 11 Apr 2026 02:35:19 +0000 Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:48:27 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=23921 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[what to do : It sounds like you don&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=595897&title=what-to-do#595897 Author: busymum
Subject: 23921
Posted: 23 January 2009 at 6:48pm

It sounds like you don't think taking him on at the moment would be the right thing for you and your family, and that's what needs to be prioritised. There are other people that can look after him. If no one in the family can, then she can go talk with CYPFS or Open Home Foundation or ACROSS Social Services (or any equivalent in your area) to talk about having a short-term caregiver.]]> Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:48:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=595897&title=what-to-do#595897 <![CDATA[what to do : I don&#039;t know the situation,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=595587&title=what-to-do#595587 Author: Rachael21
Subject: 23921
Posted: 23 January 2009 at 12:54pm

I don't know the situation, but unless your sis is going away to get help or something I don't think taking Hemi away from her is really the best thing. She might realise she loves no responsibilities. As others said I think you should offer to help her out but she still needs to be the main caregiver for Hemi and you need to get on with your life too. If its only a month or so you might be able to juggle it but thats not fair to ask you to take him on. She chose to have him so hes her responsibility.

Does Hemi go to daycare? If shes having issues or is going to study or something she may be entitled to 50 hours childcare subsidy, which makes it almost free depending on the place. ]]> Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:54:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=595587&title=what-to-do#595587 <![CDATA[what to do : How old is he and what sort of...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=595259&title=what-to-do#595259 Author: my2angels
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 11:03pm

How old is he and what sort of life would he have if you dont take him? If you then he would be ok with his mum then sweet carry on with your plans but if you think he is being majorly neglected and you have the chance to step in and make a childs life better possibly even save it then could you forgive yourself if you didnt?]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:03:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=595259&title=what-to-do#595259 <![CDATA[what to do : caitlynsmygirl wrote:putting...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594731&title=what-to-do#594731 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 2:18pm

Originally posted by caitlynsmygirl caitlynsmygirl wrote:

putting it really bluntly .
Dont let your life wait for other people .


i agree.

but i'm in a similar situation so i understand how hard it is, especially when it's your beloved family that you'll do almost anything for

]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:18:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594731&title=what-to-do#594731 <![CDATA[what to do : Its a tough one (and without knowing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594664&title=what-to-do#594664 Author: MummyFreckle
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 1:18pm

Its a tough one (and without knowing all the details of your situation)...is there anyone else in the family that can help? If Teachers College is your dream, and something that you really want to do, then you should be doing it, and your family should respect that and help you in anyway that they can to make it possible. If you are the only carer for Hemi, and there is no-way anyone else can help, then I guess you have to make a call about whether you could wait another year for Teachers College.

Its a tough one chickadee - good luck - and hopefully you can get support in making your decision from your family.

]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:18:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594664&title=what-to-do#594664 <![CDATA[what to do : Go ahead and do what you were...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594599&title=what-to-do#594599 Author: sweetpea
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 12:30pm

Go ahead and do what you were planning on doing this year because to be honest hun life is far too short.]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 12:30:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594599&title=what-to-do#594599 <![CDATA[what to do : putting it really bluntly . Dont...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594564&title=what-to-do#594564 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 12:04pm

putting it really bluntly .
Dont let your life wait for other people . ]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 12:04:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594564&title=what-to-do#594564 <![CDATA[what to do : similar situation for me a while...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594554&title=what-to-do#594554 Author: monikah
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 11:52am

similar situation for me a while ago as im decided to go back to uni this year but i used to look after my sisters kids so she could go to work cos she wasnt coping well at home and couldnt afford day care. i ended up telling her i needed to do my own thing. she is still a stress case bout putting her babies in other care and having to change her hours but my baby is due in 3 months, uni starts in 1 and i needed to put my family first. dont let yourself get guilted into putting your life on hold again. studying is hard work and someone elses child is always way harder to find time for and look after properly when your stressed. look after your family first. its not your fault your sister cant do it herself. i think if forced too, she'd find a way, everyone else does]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 11:52:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594554&title=what-to-do#594554 <![CDATA[what to do : Explaine to your family that you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594383&title=what-to-do#594383 Author: McPloppy
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 9:29am

Explaine to your family that you are saying no so that you can get yourself and your family on track but are more than happy to help the person who takes him on eg weekend stay overs, free babysitting and school holiday visits.
]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 09:29:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594383&title=what-to-do#594383 <![CDATA[what to do : Seems like a big ask to me. Why...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594382&title=what-to-do#594382 Author: Danaj
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 9:29am

Seems like a big ask to me. Why can't she take care of him herself? Other people seem to manage it and still sort their lives out, why can't she?]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 09:29:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594382&title=what-to-do#594382 <![CDATA[what to do : Wow that is a big ask from your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594365&title=what-to-do#594365 Author: EmDee
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 9:16am

Wow that is a big ask from your family. Are your family able to help out while you are studying? I really don't think you should put your dreams on hold again, you need to do what is best for yourself and James. Best of luck hun, whatever your decision ]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 09:16:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594365&title=what-to-do#594365 <![CDATA[what to do : I think you have to put yourself...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594326&title=what-to-do#594326 Author: weegee
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 8:36am

I think you have to put yourself first. It sounds like you really love your nephew but if you put your own plans on hold for him and your family then you may end up resenting both him and them - better to say no and get any unpleasantness over with. If you say yes then who knows how long you could have him for...]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 08:36:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594326&title=what-to-do#594326 <![CDATA[what to do : Thats a huge ask from your family....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594307&title=what-to-do#594307 Author: Snappy
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 8:08am

Thats a huge ask from your family. What about your needs and dreams?

If you want Hemi in your care, and the only thing in the way is the care situation, then perhaps you could ask your family to help you in that respect. They should come to the party. Can your sister not take care of her child during the day (Sorry I have no idea what the situation) and you have him between times?

Good luck with your decision, sounds like its going to be a difficult one to make ]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 08:08:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594307&title=what-to-do#594307 <![CDATA[what to do : That seems like alot of pressure...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594295&title=what-to-do#594295 Author: hailstones
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 7:49am

That seems like alot of pressure to be put under Lu!

I think after years of putting your needs and wants after others maybe its time to put them 1st. I know how much you love Hemi, but you need to do what is right for you!

Can your Mum and Dad help share the load, so Hemi is not all YOUR responsibility. If they can then maybe its all do-able.

Big hugs Lu and good luck with your decision, which I know won't be any easy one for you.

ETA: just an after thought, you say they want you to take on hemi so your sis can get herself into a better position, but isn't that what you are doing as well, by going to T-Col.......maybe its time to put yourself 1st!!!!
p.s we have to catch up soon!!

Edited by hailstones]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 07:49:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594295&title=what-to-do#594295 <![CDATA[what to do : Hi there This is what i think...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594294&title=what-to-do#594294 Author: Oxy
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 7:48am

Hi there

This is what i think you should do put your plans first
because if you dont you may never get this chance again as with your nephew im sorry to say this but your sister had the child so she should look after him regard less of the situation ]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 07:48:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594294&title=what-to-do#594294 <![CDATA[what to do : thats a tough one, but in the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594285&title=what-to-do#594285 Author: Kazzle
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 7:30am

thats a tough one, but in the end you have to do what is right for you and your family. Is there no one else in the family who can take Hemi?

I think you have to weigh up all the pros and cons of taking Hemi and not taking Hemi and go from there.

best of luck with whatever decision you make and remember whatever decision it is, is the right one for you]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 07:30:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594285&title=what-to-do#594285 <![CDATA[what to do : what to do i have been asked by...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594269&title=what-to-do#594269 Author: james
Subject: 23921
Posted: 22 January 2009 at 6:10am

what to do i have been asked by family to take hemi (my newphew) on full time till my sister can get her self in a better postion. Now here is my delimmea i am applying to Teachers collage this year and thats stressfull anuff to get one child in to care but two now i could do this year part time but i,m sick of putting my dreams on hold for outher people what do i do aggrrhhhhhhhh ]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 06:10:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23921&PID=594269&title=what-to-do#594269