OHbaby! Forums : Saying "no" https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Fri, 10 Apr 2026 12:55:45 +0000 Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:13:41 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=23998 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Saying "no" : As Caitlyn got older , and therefore...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=598028&title=saying-no#598028 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 23998
Posted: 26 January 2009 at 4:13pm

As Caitlyn got older , and therefore faster, it was important to come up with something that she was happier to do , as she thought it was a game.

Hmm, yeah , everyone has there own ways of parenting, but I still stand by what I say, most important thing is to let them know you are the boss, all the kids with shocking behaviour I know , have all been given the impression that they are the boss, not the parents.
And its a lot harder to change the behaviour when they are 2, than when they are one .
Because my friend's daughter has no respect for anyone , my friend doesnt even feel like she can take her out in public , which is really sad, she isn't even enjoying her child .
And having the experience with a child who I have told off many times over the nearly seven years of her life, I can definetly vouch for the fact that they ARE very forgiving , and don't hold grudges, children are a lot more forgiving than adults.
basically, if you tell them off, they WONT stop loving you .

If people don't want to use "no" and another way works , thats fine, just make sure that whatever way is used,the baby knows you are in charge . ]]> Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:13:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=598028&title=saying-no#598028 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : we use distraction aswell, but...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597927&title=saying-no#597927 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 23998
Posted: 26 January 2009 at 2:31pm

we use distraction aswell, but it only works for 2 mins if that lol, he just goes right back to the "better" toy lol.

I think by saying "no" and moving him away from what he isnt suppose to be touching he will start to understan that no means you dont touch that.

But its definitly a personal choice as to how you dicipline your child and some ways might work on some children and not on others.

The go stop thing is a good idea kelly. I remember my mum used to do the counting thing with us lol, when she got to 3 we were in trouble!]]> Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:31:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597927&title=saying-no#597927 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : oh also , this friend used the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597867&title=saying-no#597867 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 23998
Posted: 26 January 2009 at 1:31pm

oh also , this friend used the distraction technique, all the time , worked for about 5 mins .

Basically what Im saying is, your the parent, your the boss, make sure they know that from an early age, because its a lot harder to change their attitude once they get older.
Caitlyn knows who the "boss" is (moi ,and DF ) and if she does act up,all it takes is us to say " 1 ......2...." and before 3 shes stopped what shes doing , have no idea what she thinks will happen when we get to 3 tho , hmmm.

When they start toddling another good thing to teach them is the "go stop " game , Caitlyn always wanted to walk a few paces a head when we walked down to the dairy (3 houses down ) so I would call out GO ! and STOP constantly , she thought it was great fun, and if she did get too far ahead (they are blimming quick !) then I would call stop, til I caught up, then "go ! " again .
]]> Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:31:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597867&title=saying-no#597867 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : Sheena , I started saying no with...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597857&title=saying-no#597857 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 23998
Posted: 26 January 2009 at 1:25pm

Sheena , I started saying no with Caitlyn around the same time as you are with Caden .
The tone is very important, probably more important atm than what you are actually saying.

My friend never told her child "no" and when she did "tell her off" (i use the term loosely ) its was "oh ******* don't do that sweetheart " , her child is now 2 and a half , and has no respect for her mother AT ALL, because as far as shes concerned, her mother has never shown that she is the boss, not the child.
Also , with the saying no, telling off etc, don't think that your child will hate you if you do , children are very forgiving, I tell Caitlyn off, she tells me she wants a new mummy (and asks to look on TM ) then half an hour later she is coming up to me for a kiss and a cuddle ]]> Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:25:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597857&title=saying-no#597857 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : I&#039;ve heard that at a young...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597856&title=saying-no#597856 Author: Febgirl
Subject: 23998
Posted: 26 January 2009 at 1:25pm

I've heard that at a young age, babies don't really hear the 'no' part, just the rest, eg. if you say "no, don't play with the remote" - all they hear or understand is the play with the remote part, no tthe no part!

Not sure if it's true, but we try to use distraction with DD who is 12 months instead e.g. no, we don't do that, come and play with this book instead etc. Can't tell if it's working yet!

]]> Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:25:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597856&title=saying-no#597856 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : Plunket are annoying sometimes...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597852&title=saying-no#597852 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 23998
Posted: 26 January 2009 at 1:17pm

Plunket are annoying sometimes lol, Caden wont understand if I say "Caden please dont touch that" lol, where as "no" is a short to the point word and it can be said it any tone.

busymum, caden has started to make a beeline straight back to whatever I have taken himaway from, im up and down like a yo yo and so tired lol I must have said no a million times this morning already, but I shall keep it up, as he is starting to understand as he will stop and look at me as if to say "hmmm what have i done wrong" but i also say "caden" in a tone that says "you shouldnt be doing that" and he is really listening to that.

He is a little ratbag these days, keeps me on my toes for sure!]]> Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:17:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597852&title=saying-no#597852 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : I was going to post a topic about...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597656&title=saying-no#597656 Author: Snappy
Subject: 23998
Posted: 26 January 2009 at 10:21am

I was going to post a topic about this too!!!

We have a dvd recorder that cant be baby proofed, Jackson is constantly heading for it. Sometimes I will say "no!!!" and he turns and looks at me, then makes a "grrrrrr" noise, then moves away. Other times he just keeps heading for it, despite me moving him away from it. This morning I would move him and put him in front of his toys, but he'd head straight back for it. So sometimes no is working, and other times he thinks its a great game.

Plunket told me last week NOT to say the word NO to them, because its too negative? I tried saying things like "We dont do that Jackson" But I wonder how on earth he would learn at such a young age? At least "no" is just one word! ]]> Mon, 26 Jan 2009 10:21:34 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597656&title=saying-no#597656 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : We only recently starting saying...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597366&title=saying-no#597366 Author: kakapo
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 10:00pm

We only recently starting saying "no" to DS, who is 13 months - had mainly used distraction or baby-proofing until now. Felt really guilty yesterday when I said "no" a bit too sternly (not intentionally!) and he almost cried. He knew what a lot of other words meant before 'no', and caught onto the meaning really quickly.

Our PAFT lady said that while they are babies and young toddlers its actually much easier for them to understand a "do this" command than a "don't do that" command. Eg "put the xxx back on the shelf" rather than "don't touch xxx".

]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 22:00:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597366&title=saying-no#597366 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : busymum wrote: It may only...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597326&title=saying-no#597326 Author: tishy
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 9:31pm

Originally posted by busymum busymum wrote:


It may only be another month or two before he grows out of being easily distracted. You'll know when - you'll move him away and he'll make a quick beeline! Fun times!!


Oh so true! Eimear is at that stage.

Also keep consistent with it. After a months holiday I'm back to the beginning with what the girls can and can't touch ]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 21:31:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597326&title=saying-no#597326 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : We say no and move the kid away...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597313&title=saying-no#597313 Author: busymum
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 9:24pm

We say no and move the kid away so they hopefully start associating "no" with "move away from there". We are very optimistic parents! With things like scratching faces or whatever, I put my hand over theirs and stroking cheeks or somewhere else that's okay and say "gentle" types of words. That goes for new babies too.

It may only be another month or two before he grows out of being easily distracted. You'll know when - you'll move him away and he'll make a quick beeline! Fun times!!]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 21:24:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597313&title=saying-no#597313 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : Oh cool so it sounds like we are...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597194&title=saying-no#597194 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 8:15pm

Oh cool so it sounds like we are on the right track.

We dont growl him as such, just so no sternly so he understands that he isnt supposed to do that. When he does things like pulls my glasses off my face, pulls my hair, fingers up my nose(thats not a nice one lol he just started doing that!) I will say "caden dont pull mummys hair" "caden mummy need her glasses to see" lol, in a gentle tone.

Its just when he does things like shake the speakers and pull all the dvds out of the shelf that he gets told no and we put him by his toys. I try and not say it too much to, him, a lot of the time I will just move him back to his toys, but 9/10 he will just go right back to the speakers or the to the stereo and turn the volume up and down lol

Edited by Sheza]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:15:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597194&title=saying-no#597194 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : I&#039;ve really only started...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597192&title=saying-no#597192 Author: Lulu
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 8:13pm

I've really only started saying no to Jaymie recently and she is 17 and 1/2 months. I feel that she now fully understands the word and understands that there are consequences.
I read a book about toddlers and the suggestion was that when possible, while they are very young, use distraction methods instead of just saying no no no all the time.]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:13:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597192&title=saying-no#597192 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : We started about then too, when...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597190&title=saying-no#597190 Author: emz
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 8:12pm

We started about then too, when he started crawling. We used 'not for Jackson' to start with and removed him from the situation and gave him a more 'appropriate' toy to play with. Yeah unfortunately they see it as exploring and being helpful, like 'look mummy I found a pot for you to cook in, shame I pulled another 5 out at the same time and then put dents in them, but at least I'm trying' instead of being naughty.

I think you get good at spotting them eyeing things up too, like if we see Jack going towards something we start distracting him before he even gets there and now he doesn't even seem to notice things like DH's Xbox or anything.

But yeah, you'll probably find he'll understand no, but do it anyway until he's old enough to realise no means stop what you're doing, turn around and find something more appropriate! lol a lot for wee ones to comprehend ]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:12:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597190&title=saying-no#597190 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : This is why most babies first...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597180&title=saying-no#597180 Author: ShellandBella
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 8:07pm

This is why most babies first word is "no" hehe

When Bella was that age I used to say "no touch" and then distract her with something else. Babies aren't intentionally being "naughty" (in fact, kids aren't actually intentionally 'naughty' until much later), its just in their nature to explore, which means getting into EVERYTHING! ]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:07:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597180&title=saying-no#597180 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : Ha ha Flissty. We do the same....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597179&title=saying-no#597179 Author: happymumma
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 8:05pm

Ha ha Flissty. We do the same. 'Gentle touching Mummy's face', same with pulling hair, glasses, noses, ears etc etc etc.]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:05:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597179&title=saying-no#597179 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : I did about the same as you. Unfortunately...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597173&title=saying-no#597173 Author: busymum
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 8:02pm

I did about the same as you. Unfortunately the results are not always encouraging!! but it really seems the only sensible thing to do.]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:02:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597173&title=saying-no#597173 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : We started saying &#039;no&#039;...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597094&title=saying-no#597094 Author: busyissy
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 6:35pm

We started saying 'no' to Dominic about the same time. It does take them a little time to learn that the word 'no' and the concept of "I shouldn't be doing this" go together! He is 22 months old and now he checks to see where I am before doing something that he knows he shouldn't If he sees me looking at him he says 'no' and does it regardless! Its so frustrating but then he'll do something cute or lovely and I just can't stay mad. Im sure parenting is 80% acting!]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:35:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597094&title=saying-no#597094 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : We&#039;re starting, and I&#039;m...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597085&title=saying-no#597085 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 6:28pm

We're starting, and I'm sure it will get more as he gets more active. At the moment, we're working on "gentle touch", rather than "jab the sharp fingernails up mum's nose and have a good poke inside".]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:28:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597085&title=saying-no#597085 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : Sheena, I use no with Ollie....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597077&title=saying-no#597077 Author: happymumma
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 6:10pm

Sheena, I use no with Ollie. I just try and do it consistently and don't use it that often. I can imagine he will be the same once he's crawling though.

I just make sure that my tone of voice is quite different when I'm saying it so that he starts to recognise the tone of voice as serious even if he doesn't yet understand the word. At the moment he just stops what he's doing, has a good look at my face, and then giggles ]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:10:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597077&title=saying-no#597077 <![CDATA[Saying "no" : Im just wondering when everyone...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597000&title=saying-no#597000 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 23998
Posted: 25 January 2009 at 4:24pm

Im just wondering when everyone started saying "no!" to their babies. Caden is crawling now and into EVERYTHING and anything he can get his hands on, so we have started saying no to him when ever he goes for something he isnt supposed to and we move him back over to his toys, like today, he keeps going over to the speakers and grabbing one and shaking it , so i say "No!" and move him away, he also goes for wires, so I have hidden and taped down any visable wires and if he tries to unstick them I say no aswell. I think he is starting understand my tone and the word when he is doing something naughty, as he wills top and look at me, but most of the time he carrys on doing what he is doing but today he stopped and crawled away.

I just want to make sure that he really understands when he is doing something naughty by the time he is one.

Edited by Sheza]]> Sun, 25 Jan 2009 16:24:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23998&PID=597000&title=saying-no#597000