OHbaby! Forums : so frustrated.... https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Mon, 06 Apr 2026 15:27:45 +0000 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 08:45:43 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=24975 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Caught part of Kellys post before...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630568&title=so-frustrated#630568 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 24975
Posted: 07 March 2009 at 8:45am

Caught part of Kellys post before she edited it.
I find that terrible how her gps are acting.

I think its so wrong when adults use children in this manner.

Its almost more common/normal these days for families to be made up of children from previous relationships, and have blended families.

My brother is in this situation, and while I was upset at how he treated his ex-wife, its his decision and the children aren't to be used as pawns.

I could imagine my SILs parents behaving like this, as of course they now hate my brother, but he's still their father and his new partner takes the responsbility for helping to raise his kids and hers.

I do think you and your DH need to have a discussion with them, as its not on, the only reason for courts granting visitation is in the best interests of the child, this is clearly not.

Being a grand parent doesn't give you automatic rights!]]> Sat, 07 Mar 2009 08:45:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630568&title=so-frustrated#630568 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : That is so horrible. ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630514&title=so-frustrated#630514 Author: kellie
Subject: 24975
Posted: 07 March 2009 at 1:43am

That is so horrible.]]> Sat, 07 Mar 2009 01:43:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630514&title=so-frustrated#630514 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : double post , soz! Edited by caitlynsmygirl...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630502&title=so-frustrated#630502 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 24975
Posted: 06 March 2009 at 10:56pm

double post , soz!

Edited by caitlynsmygirl]]> Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:56:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630502&title=so-frustrated#630502 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Didn&#039;t want to read & run...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630402&title=so-frustrated#630402 Author: AandCsmum
Subject: 24975
Posted: 06 March 2009 at 9:06pm

Didn't want to read & run either.

Not sure how to get her to talk to you but shame on her grandparents....who are behaving like children!!!

Maybe keep being chatty around her, go for the over kill, she'll have to talk to you eventually.]]> Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:06:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630402&title=so-frustrated#630402 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Yeh my bad for posting on general...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630360&title=so-frustrated#630360 Author: jjands
Subject: 24975
Posted: 06 March 2009 at 8:34pm

Yeh my bad for posting on general wasn't counting on our situation being made so public]]> Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:34:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630360&title=so-frustrated#630360 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Oh god, that&#039;s shocking!...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630331&title=so-frustrated#630331 Author: emz
Subject: 24975
Posted: 06 March 2009 at 7:50pm

Oh god, that's shocking! How dare they try to poison her to get to you?!

Basically, I would contact your lawyer and ask for their visitation to be SUPERVISED by a third party so they can't have her on her own and say things like that. Your DH needs to support you 100% on this matter though, as it's just not on. You are her caregiver, and that means you need respect from all parties - your DH, your DD, and DD's gparents. They are not putting the wellbeing of the child and the family unit first, they're putting it in jeopardy, and from what I understand that's grounds for reconsideration of the parenting order. But I still think she needs to have contact with her gparents, just supervised contact.]]> Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:50:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630331&title=so-frustrated#630331 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Just remember that as much as...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630305&title=so-frustrated#630305 Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 24975
Posted: 06 March 2009 at 7:06pm


Just remember that as much as shes hurting you , she is only 4 and still a baby and very easy to manipulate, as she gets older and is able to make up her own mind , that will happen less and less, , I know thats not much comfort when her behaviour is being so hurtful now, but at least it gives you something to focus on in the future .

In the meantime, just be honest with her, tell your DD that her behaviour is really hurting your feelings , because you love her very much and hearing her say she doesnt want to talk to you makes you feel really sad and makes you want to cry , its good for kids to see we have feelings too and that our feelings get hurt , just like theirs .
And most of all , remember she is still a baby herself and being used as a pawn by her grandparents for their sick little games .

Edited by caitlynsmygirl]]> Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:06:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=630305&title=so-frustrated#630305 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : thanks for all the support guys,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628683&title=so-frustrated#628683 Author: jjands
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 7:15pm

thanks for all the support guys, I'm just going to hibernate for the night]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:15:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628683&title=so-frustrated#628683 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : How horrible for you I don&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628634&title=so-frustrated#628634 Author: busyissy
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 6:36pm

How horrible for you
I don't understand why the grandparents have any rights here when your children have two parents alive and parenting them.
I am very unforgiving of that sort of behaviour if I was you then I would be doing everything I could to have that visitation revoked. It is completely unacceptable behaviour to undermine you that way. I actually think that it is quite abusive to use a child in that way.]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 18:36:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628634&title=so-frustrated#628634 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Yep I agree - get in contact with...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628565&title=so-frustrated#628565 Author: Bobbie
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 5:10pm

Yep I agree - get in contact with the lawyer.

What horrible people. Poor you and your poor daughter. What a horrible situation. ]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:10:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628565&title=so-frustrated#628565 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : How hard for you to have your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628558&title=so-frustrated#628558 Author: my4beauties
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 4:56pm

How hard for you to have your child go to visit them and you have no choice in the matter!  Obviously for them to have legal visitation rights they have made issues hard for you in the past.  Definitely get in touch with your lawyer and explain how they are manipulating your child and trying to turn her against you.]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:56:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628558&title=so-frustrated#628558 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Seriously? I&#039;d think those&#039;d...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628553&title=so-frustrated#628553 Author: AzzaNZ
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 4:49pm

Seriously?

I'd think those'd be reasonable grounds for the visitation rights to be suspended. How incredibly disrespectful of them!]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:49:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628553&title=so-frustrated#628553 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Sounds like it is a complex situation,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628527&title=so-frustrated#628527 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 4:15pm

Sounds like it is a complex situation, but I would be talking to your lawyer about that (or community law centre) - if they are using visitation as a time to get between you and your daughter, I would think any judge would look very harshly on that situation.]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:15:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628527&title=so-frustrated#628527 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : we can&#039;t stop contact as...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628522&title=so-frustrated#628522 Author: jjands
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 4:10pm

we can't stop contact as they have legal visitaion once a month ]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:10:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628522&title=so-frustrated#628522 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : If this was me (and just going...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628521&title=so-frustrated#628521 Author: lizzle
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 4:10pm

If this was me (and just going by what you hacve said) - i wouldn't want someone that toxic having anything to do with my kids. i would stop contact and say that when they are able to act like adults, the relationship can begin again.

But i would be getting DH to go and find out what on earth went on to provoke that behaviour.]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:10:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628521&title=so-frustrated#628521 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : I have to agree with Italiah....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628519&title=so-frustrated#628519 Author: EmDee
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 4:08pm

I have to agree with Italiah. It is so wrong for them to do that to your DD. Talk to them about it and if they don't stop using her like that, stop contact with them.]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:08:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628519&title=so-frustrated#628519 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Na they are IL&#039;s DH doesn&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628509&title=so-frustrated#628509 Author: jjands
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 3:54pm

Na they are IL's  DH doesn't like em either he's tried lots of things. It's a little more complicated then that but I can't really say anymore IYKWIM still any advice would be GREAT]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:54:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628509&title=so-frustrated#628509 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Wow chick, so sorry to hear your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628508&title=so-frustrated#628508 Author: my4beauties
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 3:51pm

Wow chick, so sorry to hear your ILs are telling your own child not to speak to you - that's REALLY disgusting behaviour!!  I would be around to their house in an instant and tell them NEVER to speak to my child that way and if they continue to turn your child against you, then you will stop all contact with them.  And I can't believe your 4 yr old would listen to them, over you!  They must've really got into her ear and manipulated her, for her to obey that instruction.  I hope your DH realises what they are doing, and that your child should not be put in the middle of whatever is going on between you and them.

]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:51:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628508&title=so-frustrated#628508 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Oops - just assumed they were...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628507&title=so-frustrated#628507 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 3:51pm

Oops - just assumed they were the ILs ]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:51:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628507&title=so-frustrated#628507 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Woah! Thats full on! Do you think...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628504&title=so-frustrated#628504 Author: IVFGirl1111
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 3:48pm

Woah! Thats full on!

Do you think you could call a "meeting" with the grandparents?

Are they your parents or your inlaws?]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:48:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628504&title=so-frustrated#628504 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : Oh man, that must be so hard....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628502&title=so-frustrated#628502 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 3:46pm

Oh man, that must be so hard. Sorry - no advice but didn't want to read and run . What horrible ILs to have. And at your DH.]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:46:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628502&title=so-frustrated#628502 <![CDATA[so frustrated.... : please help me DD (4) hasn&#039;t...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628489&title=so-frustrated#628489 Author: jjands
Subject: 24975
Posted: 04 March 2009 at 3:29pm

please help me DD (4) hasn't talked to me since visiting her gparents on the weekend. She only talks if I actually get down to her level and tell her to answer me. I just had a chat to her about how she's been behaving and asked her what we'd just talked about "dunno wasn't listening" was her response. After a time out she told me "gparent and gparent told me not to talk to you anymore so I don't." I said but u only visit them and you live with us, I'm the one that looks after you "they do more than you do"

we're not on speaking terms with the gparents so I dunno what to do, I'm glad I finally know why I'm being ignored but to be honest it doesn't make it any easier. I feel like a outsider with DD. When DH comes home it's "daddy daddy daddy" he doesn't understand why I'm so upset.

Sorry for the big rave but can anyone help me?

]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:29:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24975&PID=628489&title=so-frustrated#628489