OHbaby! Forums : This Is The End For Me https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sun, 05 Apr 2026 03:09:01 +0000 Mon, 11 May 2009 22:07:30 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=26413 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : oo asicsgal you will have to share...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683882&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683882 Author: Chickaboo
Subject: 26413
Posted: 11 May 2009 at 10:07pm

oo asicsgal you will have to share your recipe for the WW chocolate pudding ]]> Mon, 11 May 2009 22:07:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683882&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683882 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : LOL Angelmouse I know what you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683789&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683789 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 11 May 2009 at 8:28pm

LOL Angelmouse I know what you are saying. It's really cool seeing some of the ladies on here that have been trying for some time and get m/c's to get their BFP's, it's genuine happiness for them.
Yep I still look out for CM, and think about what Day I'm on, though of course I don't know for certain on which day I'm O'ng due to not knowing the temp. It kinda feels good not to do it though and I know it's going to get easier. I've got rid of my ticker now to. LOL I have a notebook now just to make notes on CM etc but I'm not being obsessive about it.
Hope you had a good day! Oh and of course yes you do make cyber friends on these sites so it's weird not to chat. LOL I have made DH and I a WW choc pudding, so will log off for the nite. Hope you enjoy the rest of your night. ]]> Mon, 11 May 2009 20:28:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683789&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683789 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : hehe asicsgal, i&#039;ve said...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683772&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683772 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 11 May 2009 at 8:16pm

hehe asicsgal, i've said 3 times before i was going to stay away from the other forum but i kept going back, more-so for my own curiosity for the other girls and the friends made. Not alot of people know what we go through aye...

You don't ever stop thinking about TTC, you may put away your thermometer and not work out when next AF is due etc. but it's always there. i try not to think it's been over 3 years TTC#1, every single month charting, BD'ing, knicker-alert for CM but it won't be until, if ever, i hold my very own little bubba in my arms that i can finally stop wanting it. ]]> Mon, 11 May 2009 20:16:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683772&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683772 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Thanks Chickaboo, Vanillabean...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683699&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683699 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 11 May 2009 at 7:25pm

Thanks Chickaboo, Vanillabean and Louise for your comments. Hope you get your sticky BFP soon to Vanillabean. Yep you are right in everything you say Louise LOL, I probably will try and stay away from Oh Baby but of course I have to lurk every now and then. Thanks ladies and hopefully I'll be able to report back soon with good news. ]]> Mon, 11 May 2009 19:25:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683699&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683699 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Hey Hun, Ive just come on here...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683245&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683245 Author: LouD
Subject: 26413
Posted: 11 May 2009 at 12:24pm

Hey Hun,

Ive just come on here and read your thread....

My own personal journey TTC these last 15months has been a long one, but in hindsight we kinda needed it to take that long as my DH wasnt really that into it in the beginning and it was only around Dec/Jan that he became quite into the idea of having another baby. He would just decide for both of us that we werent having any more children and completely break me, and then a couple of weeks later he would change his mind, so he rollercoastered me on that for a good 8months and kept saying he will go and get the snip and i just got sick of it and said if your gonna do it, then hurry up and do it already instead of dragging me through this emotional rollercoaster........

the tall and short of it all, Men just dont have the same yearnings as we do, and even more so if they already have children of their own..............I can understand your DH not wanting to see you like this anymore, he cares enough to not want the love of his life destroying herself over this. Yes your age is against you and it will take longer, so maybe give yourself a bit longer, like i knew that i would take longer cos of being on depo so each month i was hopeful but not obsessive..........i didnt get obsessive until about Jan. And i tell you only getting BFP in March but then the MC, im very lucky to have a BFP straight after as me and my DH didnt think we could go through it all again the next month, it was just getting too much. And if this one ended up MCing we werent going to TTC again for a few months. So all up we were only actively TTCing for 4 months and it became too much, i honestly dont know how people who TTC for longer can cope..........its a marriage destroyer for sure

But i dont quite know how i would stop TTCing when i know my cycles and when I OV..........how do you stop thinking about something thats always on your mind........its like not breathing

Anyway hun, im sure a break is just what you both need. Keep lurking now and then, but it will prob be easier to get off Oh Baby completely for a bit because this website definetly compounds those obsessions

Take care and good luck finding something to take your mind off things...........how about a uni paper?? ]]> Mon, 11 May 2009 12:24:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683245&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683245 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : I have been ttc since March 2007...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683233&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683233 Author: Vanillabean
Subject: 26413
Posted: 11 May 2009 at 12:06pm

I have been ttc since March 2007 now and I totally get the stress of bd on demand. Sometimes my DH feels so pressured and even though we both try hard he just can't perform adequately and we both end up feeling completely demoralised. I try not to pressure him because I know that makes it worse but sometimes I can't help it because I start to think, 'this could be our chance to have a baby'. Basically, it has been stressful even in the first months of ttc and it still stressful now. However, for various reasons that I won't go into, if we don't time bd, there is no chance of me getting pg, so we can't just relax and not worry about it.

This has not been good for our relationship, or for our sex life, but we don't really have any choice if we want to have children.]]> Mon, 11 May 2009 12:06:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=683233&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#683233 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : asicsgal hun I feel for you As...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682973&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682973 Author: Chickaboo
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 10:05pm

asicsgal hun I feel for you

As you know me and DH took a break from TTC'ing and it was the best thing we did.. for 3 months we got to relax from it and bD'ing became fun again not just cause we had to.

please don't dissapear completely and let us know how you are getting on - we are here for you ]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 22:05:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682973&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682973 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Yep I&#039;d have to agree and...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682952&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682952 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 9:30pm

Yep I'd have to agree and my DH is home to, have a good sleep. ]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 21:30:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682952&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682952 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : yep my lekkie blanket calling...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682943&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682943 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 9:23pm

yep my lekkie blanket calling me too, great talking to you. we have lots in common. sweet dreams and hope you feel better tomorrow ]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 21:23:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682943&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682943 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Yep I know what you mean about...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682942&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682942 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 9:21pm

Yep I know what you mean about hibernation,I'm a bit the same in winter, but I'm thinking I've lost a bit of my independance like all the attributes that made me as a person when DH met me, now I've just become this strung out person.
Yep the meds can be really hard to come off, I was trying every third day but was getting to stressed!!! Man having to travel that long to work would drive me nuts I bet your glad you have a new job.
Well I might just head off to my warm bed (LOL electric blanket), am feeling rather tired, probably from the tears this weekend, am looking forward to getting things back on track as far as emotions go anyway. Feel free to PM me anytime you want to chat, rant etc, and thanks again for your posts. ]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 21:21:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682942&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682942 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : we moved last july too and have...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682937&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682937 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 9:08pm

we moved last july too and have just got a job where i don't have to travel 45 minutes to/from work. now that winter is here i might wait till spring to look at sports teams etc. i hibernate in winter and won't even venture out to the back garden. i like taking the dogs for a walk but never stepped foot in a gym so yeh the big beefy guys would put me off too!
i'm on loxamine and tried a few times to wean myself off but can't get past about the 2nd day before i start getting physical pain.
we have share care of step-son and he comes every weekend, he's 7 and lots of fun but he's an only child]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 21:08:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682937&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682937 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : We moved back to the Naki (I&#039;m...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682928&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682928 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 8:56pm

We moved back to the Naki (I'm formally from Tauranga) last July so still haven't really got myself involved in much down here. My main focus really has been work, I'm in sales so even that is stressful at times. Was just thinking this weekend that I might look at getting into playing netball or something and I'm going to look at getting proper swimming lessons so I can start swimming in the mornings. I used to go the gym alot but that was at a womans gym and the gym here there are alot of rugby guys (Once upon a time I wouldn't have minded LOL), but they hog the machines.
I am thinking I will have to take up some more things to focus on.
Yep I'm hearing you on the anxiety, I'm taking those have been on them for a while but have got my dose down to every second day at a much lower dose. I'm kinda pre-dispositioned to high anxiety so the ttc thing has definately not helped ha ha!!!! We have her once during the week and every second weekend. She is at her Mum's the rest of the time.]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 20:56:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682928&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682928 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : exactly, these maternal urges...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682904&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682904 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 8:36pm

exactly, these maternal urges are difficult to put to one side but i have a step-son, 3 nieces and a house full of animals to share my love with.
do you have outside hobbies, sports etc. to take your mind off ttc. it might take the pressure off your hubby to put the thermometer away for awhile and initiate when you think you're OV'ing (and other times so he doesn't become suspicious LOL).
i was at my worst when the IUI failed to take, and like you was crying alot etc. i went onto anti-depressants altho not solely for that, i use it mostly to help anxiety. do you have your step-daughter full time?]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 20:36:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682904&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682904 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : No that doesn&#039;t sound confusing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682879&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682879 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 7:59pm

No that doesn't sound confusing at all and I can understand you feel about your DH saying about not wanting children with you becos of your actions. My DH said to me that one minute I am fine and all loving towards him and the next I'm withdrawn, quiet and crying, and driving myself crazy. I don't think he can handle that anymore and I don't want to drive him away. Obviously for the sake of the relationship, as that is what is most important I'm having to let go. I really feel for you, it's so hard to deal with those maternal instincts and have no control over it. Yes I know what you are saying about the relax thing, I think somewhere on here there was a "vent" thread and all the stupid comments/cliches people say especially since they are the last thing you want to hear, like when you have lost a loved one 'Time heals, they are in a better place etc. All you can think about and even if it is selfish is that you still want that person around.]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 19:59:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682879&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682879 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : no we&#039;re not trying anymore...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682872&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682872 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 7:50pm

no we're not trying anymore and that may sound confusing because how could we not? while we were going through our last rough patch he said he doesn't want children with me because of my actions. TMI but when we bd he *ahems* external, lol like that matters - i'm a walking contraceptive. it kind of bothers me he does that but i've just started a new job anyway and becoming pg wouldn't be a good idea
you probably feel the same and the next person who says "relax and it'll happen" i will bop them one LOL. been there, doesn't work.
]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 19:50:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682872&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682872 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Yes I had a look on the treasures...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682864&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682864 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 7:34pm

Yes I had a look on the treasures site, but I did a bit of lurking on this one and it has been really good. Generally everybody is very supportive. LOL our tww and waiting to O threads have gone down quite considerably as well. I think there were 7 or so that got pregnant last month or that are due in December. There is always that fear of feeling rather much like 'the last to be picked for the team'!
My sister has four lovely boys, but she started a lot earlier like when she was 20, I think if we were trying at the same time like the same situation as you it would make me upset, happy for her but upset for me. I assume you guys are still trying but not trying if you know what I mean?? I'm trying to be positive about 'being relaxed' but scared at the same time because who knows if we will ever get BD at the right time if he's not in the mood' I am hoping that by me not telling him we have to BD cos it's getting close to O that I can just initiate it without him feeling under pressure. I guess time will tell what happens. All I know is I can't handle any more disappointment about not doing it even near the time we should.]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 19:34:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682864&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682864 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : i&#039;ve been mostly on t r e...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682847&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682847 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 7:18pm

i've been mostly on t r e a s u r e s site but with everyone getting their BFP's the thread has whittled down to not many! dh rolls his eyes too when i go on baby sites. even my step-son says "you're not on that baby site again are you? but you don't have a baby" yeh thanks for that lol. i have the book "Up the Duff" but never read any further than chapter 1. yeh i waited until i was married, financially secure, mature enough etc, always knew deep down it would take me a bit longer BUT THIS!!! gggggrrrrrrrrrrr as you can see i still have issues hehe. my younger sister has 2 now, we were TTC at same time but her one is a year old now
]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 19:18:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682847&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682847 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Yep it is good knowing others...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682810&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682810 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 6:42pm

Yep it is good knowing others are going through the exact same thing, and being able to talk about it, even though we're complete strangers LOL. DH and I have had the conversations in regards to him already having a daughter and that atleast he's a Dad already so I've told him that it's different for me, but more importantly it's the one thing I've been waiting for, for a long time. I've finally found the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, and now I want to share the most precious thing of all, another life.
I haven't bought anything to much, I bought a journal though, and what to expect when you are expecting. I have put all those things up the top of the wardrobe covered with stuff so I can't see them.
LOL I was considering starting to knit this month (No I am not a nana ha ha), but I thought it would be really special to start knitting some things for a bubba - obviously no way I'm doing that now, would be too upsetting.
How frustrating for you to be put in that unexplained category, its like well what are you meant to do, not like you can take some pills or have an op and it will get better.
Oh Baby actually has some really good threads you may find useful about others that have been trying for a while and still no BFP!
I'm kinda restricting my Ohbaby usage to when DH isn't around becos I wonder if that annoys him, he made a snarky comment that it's the first thing I do in the morning, put my temp in etc.
I hate to say it but this is only our 6th month of trying, which rather pales in comparison to the heartbreaking time you have been trying. We only decided last Christmas that we were going to try and we've been together for just over a year. No doubt there will be lots of things that trigger those emotions off even when we do come to terms with everything, it's only natural, we have that maternal instinct.
Sorry for the novel
]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 18:42:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682810&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682810 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : i&#039;m 35 next month and i said...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682784&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682784 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 6:21pm

i'm 35 next month and i said years ago at the start that that would be when i stopped ttc. however now it's so close i might change my mind hehe. i know exactly what you mean about charting, it also gave me that one little bit of control where i could 'read' what was going on with my body. charting was another difficult thing to give up, have also recently sold my only baby-related purchase - a bertini stroller and that was another emotional attachment to let go. i had lap/dye surgery 2 years ago (just a little endo found), dh has super swimmers and we've fallen into the unexplained infertility category
DH is quite happy now the pressure is off but because i have let go, doesn't mean i stop thinking about it and get angry sometimes. and he still has his son. how long have you been trying. i was so naive in the beginning and even used an HPT after the 1st month, good grief if i knew then what i know now aye.... it's good to talk to others who are going through similar, lots of hugs to you]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 18:21:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682784&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682784 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Angelmouse so sorry to hear of...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682746&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682746 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 5:45pm

Angelmouse so sorry to hear of your issues too. It is almost like having to let go of a dream as you just can't see how it will happen I mean theres plenty of woman who don't chart etc etc and still get preggy so it does happen, but like you I think of the time, I'm 37, 38 in October and although there are lots of woman having babies later, I don't want to be waiting that long.
It certainly sounds like you have been through a hang of a lot more than me, so may heart goes out to you trying the clomid and failed IUI. I think because DH as been through this all before (as he has an 8 yr old daughter), took 5 and a half years to concieve and 2 miscarriages it's almost like he doesn't want me to go through all that. He said to me last night that he doesn't want for us to go down the ferility help thing cos he has heard it all before. I told him that there was no way I wanted to try for 5 and a half years trying and that by charting I was taking control to some degree to increase our chances. Obviously I am really hoping that since I know when I O round a bout I can initiate BD without him feeling like he needs to perform.
Yes I think DH and I need to reconnect and focus on what makes us a special couple and why we love each other without the stress of ttc.
Thanks so much for your post and I hope that even though it's been a rough journey for you, your gorgeous bubba won't be to far away.
eta spelling which there are still mistakes probably - nevermind

Edited by asicsgal]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 17:45:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682746&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682746 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : hi asicsgal i registered on this...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682698&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682698 Author: angelmouse
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 5:02pm

hi asicsgal
i registered on this site so i could post in your thread
DH and I had been TTC#1 for 3 years. i've had 4 rounds of chlomid and a failed IUI. We don't qualify for IVF. DH has a 7 year old son from previous r/ship.
Since late last year we've nearly separated a couple of times because of the stress of this on me and the fact i'm running out of time. I too was charting, taking vitamins etc etc. just trying basically everything. But as from a few months ago, i've had enough, just can't do it anymore. It's been so hard to let go of a dream when all your friends and family are having children. Sometimes its good just to have a break and re-connect with your partner. All the best...
]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 17:02:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682698&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682698 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Thanks you guys, you are so wonderful,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682416&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682416 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 10 May 2009 at 8:50am

Thanks you guys, you are so wonderful, and shezhoping no your post didn't make me angry at all. DH say's if it's meant to be it's meant to be, and everything happens for a reason. So I am really going to have to believe that and try to let go of the whole thing IYKWIM. He say's that over the past few months I've been so stressed out and disappointed it's really affected the way I am around him. Even I can't handle the tears etc. So yep I'm going to let it go and hopefully it will all happen.
Thanks for all your support and posts. ]]> Sun, 10 May 2009 08:50:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682416&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682416 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Asics, that is stinkers. I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682149&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682149 Author: Nutella
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 3:34pm

Asics, that is stinkers.

I know how you feel tho, I was so over HAVING to have sex and then people say try to make it fun blah blah (what do they know, most of them have no trouble getting pregnant) but after trying so long it stops being fun because you so want it to happen.

The month we conceived I told DF that he was in charge of when we bd EXCEPT the day when we had to do post coital test. So that is what we did, and it was nice to NOT have to seduce him and persuade him to have sex!

The only stink time was on the postcoital test day when neither of us wanted to have sex and it took a jolly long time to happen as we were both soooo uptight. But it must have done the trick as we didn't bd after that and we got the BFP!

So maybe the whole 'relax' thing is true, and maybe it isn't but I really hope for your sake that things pan out and you get your BFP along with the other long time ttc oxy and treen to name a couple!]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 15:34:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682149&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682149 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Sorry to hear your DH and you...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682066&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682066 Author: Roses are Red
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 1:06pm

Sorry to hear your DH and you are struggling with this. I can imagine this is so disappointing for you, hope things work out soon and you are back on that horse.

]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 13:06:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682066&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682066 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Hi Pixie, I will make a point...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682041&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682041 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 12:28pm

Hi Pixie, I will make a point of seeing it this Sunday

]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 12:28:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682041&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682041 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Did anyone see the ads for the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682030&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682030 Author: PixieL
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 12:15pm

Did anyone see the ads for the programme coming up on Sunday about "The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex and Other Bedroom Battles, by sex researcher Bettina Arndt"? http://tvnz.co.nz/sunday-news/coming-up-sunday-just-do-2710314

Hmph. The chance would be a fine thing!

]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 12:15:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682030&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682030 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Asics, I&#039;m sorry to hear...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682015&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682015 Author: busymum
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 11:52am

Asics, I'm sorry to hear that you are so disappointed but I think you and your DH have made the right decision. After all, what is the point of having kids if you have a weaker or more stressed relationship as a result? A lot of people find that the pressure of TTC coming off is exactly what they needed to get pg, hopefully this is the case for you guys but in the meantime, just enjoy being able to make love for its own sake and go do the things that you wouldn't be able to do if you had kids. Pressure to perform is no fun at all so enjoy just being yourselves. ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 11:52:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=682015&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#682015 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Morning Asics, I am soooooooooo...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681996&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681996 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 11:17am

Morning Asics,   I am soooooooooo angry at your dh   

I really believe that if they want something they will pull out all stops to try and get it.  So maybe there is more to it than just a performance thing,  he might not have his head around having another child yet?  maybe you should have a good talk (later on) and get to the heart of the matter.

I am genuinely sorry if you get upset or angry with me for saying that but I feel for you and that is the impression I get from the situation. 

]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 11:17:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681996&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681996 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Oh asics I am also sorry to hear...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681974&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681974 Author: monkey33
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 10:35am

Oh asics I am also sorry to hear that. I can definitely understand how it can put a strain on the relationship - we felt a bit tense with eachother on my last cycle as, as I mentioned in some other posts, DH seemed to turn on the anti o switch when I said the best time was which was really annoying and upsetting

As freckle says, it really does only take one time though if the timing is right and I can vouch for that! We only BD once in 2 weeks (lack of BD was mainly due to the anti o switch) and it was 2 or 3 days before my positive OPK. I wasn't charting either so just BD and hoped for the best.

I think it is great if you can share the TTC info with your DH but if he is the kind of guy that would prefer not to know (like mine!), then it will be best not to tell him. As you say, you have a fair idea of when you o and I know it will still happen for you, I'm sure of it

I think that facial & massage sounds like a fabulous idea, go & book one

Edited by monkey33]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 10:35:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681974&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681974 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Asics, hun, can totally understand....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681971&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681971 Author: Treen
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 10:25am

Asics, hun, can totally understand. Oxy's advice is right on the money though. Now that you know your cycles, I'm sure it'll all work out. ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 10:25:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681971&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681971 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Oh no! Poor you Asics. TTC can...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681964&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681964 Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 10:12am

Oh no! Poor you Asics. TTC can be very stressful! I just tell DH as little detail as possible so he doesnt get freaked out, as he has done in the past.

Good luck with TTC, fingers crossed it happens for you soon ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 10:12:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681964&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681964 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Ooohh thanks Oxy, yeah I think...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681963&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681963 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 10:12am

Ooohh thanks Oxy, yeah I think not telling him when I'm O'ng will help. I soooooooo hope you get your BFP soon, you've been trying for a lot longer than I have, especially I know having an m/c makes it all that much harder. ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 10:12:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681963&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681963 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : I know how you two feel. My partner...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681928&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681928 Author: Oxy
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 9:37am

I know how you two feel. My partner thinks he's the reason im not pregnant yet. I said I think its me and not you. I try and not pressure him into having sex
but when you only have a limited of time to get pregnant it can be so hard to get the timing right. Some days I dont feel like it and he is the same. So we only do it when we feel in the mood. which in some cases it take the pressure off both of us. I dont tell my partner when im ovulating because around that time he gets all stress out to get it right if you know what i mean. I was very sad to read that you two were thinking of giving up. Your time will come sooner then you think good luck and may all of us get a BFP sorry got carried away with the writing   ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 09:37:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681928&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681928 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Thanks you guys, yep I wonder...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681909&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681909 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 9:20am

Thanks you guys, yep I wonder if not stressing will help. It's so funny because as woman we do lots of things that we necessarily don't want to do all the time, cooking, cleaning, tidying up after everybody all the time. I told him last night that I just feel unappreciated and unimportant in his life, then he takes it as 'he doesn't do anything right' and thinks I am going to leave.
Don't get me wrong, he is very loving, he has a good heart and I still believe that he is my soulmate and best friend but this ttc thing has driven a big wedge in between us now so for the sake of the relationship I'm having to back off. I've been through the 'telling him what's involved' but he just thinks it's putting me under pressure as well as him. I can't pretend I'm all happy about it and everything is back to normal, but he says that I punish him when we don't do it because I withdraw into myself, so what am I meant to do, fake it and push my feelings down - I've done that before and it's not healthy.
Anyway I'm sure it will all have a happy ending some day. He He He off to get my eyebrows done shortly, I wish it was a facial and massage LOL!!!!]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 09:20:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681909&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681909 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681907&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681907 Author: Lexidore
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 9:19am

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I am so sad to hear this of you and Jazzy Asics i really feel sad that you guys havent had your BFPs yet its really not fair. I hope that in the end you get your BFP anyways coz i think you guys deserve it more than anyone at the mo. Im always here if you need anything, whether it be to vent or you need a laugh or a virtual hug! Good luck girlies i reckon your BFPs must be just round the corner anyways!]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 09:19:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681907&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681907 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : asics, I think there are a few...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681891&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681891 Author: jazzy
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 8:49am

asics, I think there are a few of us in this boat. My DH told me last night that he is used to getting it when he wants therefore when it is demanded around O he feel a need to preform & starts to stress. I told him last night that if I am not pg this cycle then I am giving up, that includes charting, OB & timing.
I told him what is involved every cycle, not his couple of days input, but how you wait for AF to leave then you spend money on OPK, you temp, chart & obsessive with it so timing it spot on, then you wait & see, then deal with the disappointment month after month, don't think he understood before, not sure if he does now.

I did not know half the stuff I do till I joined this site, I never really obsessed over it before but still has disappointment but not to the stage I have now, so I guess I may not be far behind you, I think the BFP will come when not trying, they usually do.

I know you will get your BFP.

]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 08:49:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681891&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681891 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Ooooh, huge hugs. That&#039;s...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681882&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681882 Author: Hopes
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 8:38am

Ooooh, huge hugs. That's not very nice of him, specially when he must know how important it is to you. Don't know about you, but I've always tried to 'get myself in the mood' in the past when DH wanted nookie and I wasn't so keen... I kind of figure TTC is when he gets to return that favour.

I totally understand how you feel ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 08:38:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681882&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681882 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Oh asics I&#039;m sooo sorry to...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681881&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681881 Author: freckle
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 8:33am

Oh asics I'm sooo sorry to read that! TTC is such a stressful time and puts so much pressure on the relationship doesn't it... It is good you have been doing it long enough to know your cycles now... and remember it only really takes one time if the timing is right so I reckon you'll be back here before ya know if UTD... like bunny said once the pressure is off it often happens... ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 08:33:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681881&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681881 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Asics I am so sorry sweetie, big...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681874&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681874 Author: Bunny
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 8:23am

Asics I am so sorry sweetie, big I can totally understand how frustrated/angry/upset etc you are. A lot of people say that without the actually stress of ttc it happens easier, I really hope that is the case for you and I hope your DH begins to realise how upseting and frustrating this is for you.

You sound like you are an awesome stepmum to his DD and your DH is very lucky to have you. A lot of stepmums aren't as caring and loving as you (my kids have experienced this with their stepmum, and it's not nice for them) so I just want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you and please keep in touch and don't give up trying - even if DH doesn't know about it!!!    ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 08:23:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681874&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681874 <![CDATA[This Is The End For Me : Hi Girls, well after another disappointing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681856&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681856 Author: asicsgal
Subject: 26413
Posted: 09 May 2009 at 7:52am

Hi Girls, well after another disappointing and 'upset episode' from me, I've decided to stop charting etc.
Last night was the final straw because DH was not in the mood and is bascially saying that it's not right to make a baby when you are doing it when you don't feel like it. I told him then that we could be waiting a VERY LONG time ttc if we do it only when he feels like it. I'm sick of the tears and the disappointment of building up to O and then for us not to be doing it, I would have thought that if you were commited to ttc you'd be pulling out all stops but he just can't get his head around the 'having to perform' bit. I am so over it!!!!
Well atleast I have enough cycles under my belt to know when I ovulate anyway .
Needless to say I am all those emotions,angry upset etc, he just does not get it!!!! I mean DH's all spit the dummy sometimes but like I say when you are committed to something, like the gym, we don't always feel like going on days we are tired, but we go because we know the results we will get at the end - What's the difference???? It will be interesting (who am I kidding on the interesting) to see what happens over the next month, basically I have to let go of wanting to have a baby, I just don't see how it will happen if we wait for the odd day he feels like it.
Anyway, I'll be lurking on here to see you all get your BFP's. Good luck everybody. Apologies for the long rant and rave, and I don't expect I'm the first woman to feel like this. ]]> Sat, 09 May 2009 07:52:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26413&PID=681856&title=this-is-the-end-for-me#681856