OHbaby! Forums : Absolutely gutted = ( https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 07 Apr 2026 21:13:39 +0000 Fri, 22 May 2009 18:11:35 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=26621 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Hugs my dear. I guess look at...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=692653&title=absolutely-gutted#692653 Author: brixey
Subject: 26621
Posted: 22 May 2009 at 6:11pm

Hugs my dear. I guess look at having as much knowledge as you can about the situation is enabling you both to be empowered about where to go from here.

I think you are a brave couple.

Vent to us anytime xxx]]> Fri, 22 May 2009 18:11:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=692653&title=absolutely-gutted#692653 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Ohh hun all i can say is i&#039;m...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691654&title=absolutely-gutted#691654 Author: sweetpea
Subject: 26621
Posted: 21 May 2009 at 2:16pm

Ohh hun all i can say is i'm sorry to hear about your situation and wish you the best of luck for whatever decision you decided to make which i see is to go down the IVF road.
]]> Thu, 21 May 2009 14:16:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691654&title=absolutely-gutted#691654 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Thank you all so much for your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691621&title=absolutely-gutted#691621 Author: Parki
Subject: 26621
Posted: 21 May 2009 at 1:44pm

Thank you all so much for your kind words & support

We have decided to go ahead with the IVF and we will join the waiting list in a few weeks!
We both feel really positive & happy with our decision.
We have been able to find out a lot more about DH's condition and apparently 1 in 50 people carry the gene and if 2 people that have the gene have a child then there is a 1 in 4 chance of the baby getting it.

I am going to be tested to see if I have it - I don't think I will so I feel hugely relieved & excited!!
Definately a more positive outlook than Tuesday!

But....on a slightly less exciting note, DH was made redundant yesterday after 8 years!

So I guess it is sort of a blessing in diguise that we have 18 months up our sleeves to sort ourselves & save! Also means we will be able to save heaps of money so that we can afford for me to take more time off work.

Gees we have well & truely had out three hits of bad luck, please let the AWESOME things start now, thank you! ]]> Thu, 21 May 2009 13:44:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691621&title=absolutely-gutted#691621 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : So sorry to hear about your news....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691435&title=absolutely-gutted#691435 Author: kabe
Subject: 26621
Posted: 21 May 2009 at 10:47am

So sorry to hear about your news. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do ]]> Thu, 21 May 2009 10:47:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691435&title=absolutely-gutted#691435 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : I&#039;m sorry to hear about your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691382&title=absolutely-gutted#691382 Author: clover
Subject: 26621
Posted: 21 May 2009 at 9:47am

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I'm sure that whatever decision you both come to will be the right one for you and your future family ]]> Thu, 21 May 2009 09:47:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=691382&title=absolutely-gutted#691382 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Hey Parki, So sorry to hear...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690718&title=absolutely-gutted#690718 Author: TorinsMum
Subject: 26621
Posted: 20 May 2009 at 12:02pm

Hey Parki,

So sorry to hear that hun. Life can unfortunately be so cruel sometimes.
I really, really hope that everything works out for you & DH.
big hugs to you guys ]]> Wed, 20 May 2009 12:02:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690718&title=absolutely-gutted#690718 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : I am sorry to hear Parki - must...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690691&title=absolutely-gutted#690691 Author: ohanlon82
Subject: 26621
Posted: 20 May 2009 at 11:24am

I am sorry to hear Parki - must be some tough times hun

Thinking of you and your DH ]]> Wed, 20 May 2009 11:24:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690691&title=absolutely-gutted#690691 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Huge hugs for you I totally know...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690627&title=absolutely-gutted#690627 Author: Hopes
Subject: 26621
Posted: 20 May 2009 at 10:14am

Huge hugs for you I totally know the feeling of waking up feeling like everything was a bad dream, and realising that it's still actually happening.

It must be hard not having friends IRL knowing what the story is... feel free to vent here whenever! You're going through a really rough time, and I just wish there was more I could do to help than listen.]]> Wed, 20 May 2009 10:14:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690627&title=absolutely-gutted#690627 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Thanks for your support ladies....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690583&title=absolutely-gutted#690583 Author: Parki
Subject: 26621
Posted: 20 May 2009 at 9:33am

Thanks for your support ladies.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty wierd actually, like yesterday was a dream. Buuuut it wasn't!

In regards to the condition my DH has its really complicated. Basically when he was a baby they thought he may have had cystic fibrosis but all tests were negative and after copious amounts of other tests they still couldn't say 100% what his illness was - Therefore he has never really been 100% sure of how to treat the illness. A specialist told him he had Bronchectisis and that was that. There wasn't really any treatment available so DH carried on and the condition worsened resulting in him having most of his right lung removed.

He is fit & healthy now & leads a normal lifestyle etc but the condition is lifelong and as far as his doctor knows there is not a lot he can do to help it apart from keeping really fit & taking antibiotics every day (which he refuses to take anymore).

Because it is quite a rare condition we/the doctors can't find a heck of a lot of info about it which makes the decision a little harder.

I'm not so concerened about the fertility issues should we have a son, I'm concerned about the lung/respitory side of things which can be passed to a male or female.

We had a huge talk last night and decided that donor sperm was not an option we feel comfortable going with and that we would prefer to go down the ICSI track once we have found out more about the condition we are dealing with.

Woah, novel writer of the year here!
It's just really good to be able to talk (errr type) to people who understand and offer support. None of our friends know what is going on and being quite young we don't know anyone else going through similar things at the moment.
Thanks ]]> Wed, 20 May 2009 09:33:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690583&title=absolutely-gutted#690583 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Oh Parki, thats rough news. Thinking...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690511&title=absolutely-gutted#690511 Author: T_Rex
Subject: 26621
Posted: 20 May 2009 at 7:15am

Oh Parki, thats rough news. Thinking of you and your DH hun.

Shezhoping the PGD thing will only work if the gene causing the condition is known. If they don't know what gene(s) it is, they can't test for it. They could possibly choose to select a female embryo, but I don't know what the ethics requirements for allowing gender selection are. Do you know if the gene is known Parki?

]]> Wed, 20 May 2009 07:15:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690511&title=absolutely-gutted#690511 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Hi Parki, I am sorry to hear...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690503&title=absolutely-gutted#690503 Author: Shezzey
Subject: 26621
Posted: 20 May 2009 at 6:06am

Hi Parki,

I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation. 

With ICSI they can actually do a gene test called PGD and they can screen the embryos that have a genetic disorder and then transfer the ones with normal genes back....   you should phone and ask FA about it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preimplantation_genetic_diagnosis

]]> Wed, 20 May 2009 06:06:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690503&title=absolutely-gutted#690503 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Hey Parki, Im so sorry hun that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690464&title=absolutely-gutted#690464 Author: mylilmosaic
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 9:55pm

Hey Parki, Im so sorry hun that you have this to deal with. But I know with our specialist appointments I found it took us a couple of weeks to really take everything in that they had told us and this time also helped us to decide what we were going to do.

I hope the wait isn't as long as 18 months if you do decide to go ahead ]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 21:55:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690464&title=absolutely-gutted#690464 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Sorry for your news. Is there...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690456&title=absolutely-gutted#690456 Author: PixieL
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 9:48pm

Sorry for your news.

Is there any way to test the baby for this condition in the early stages of pregnancy?

I wouldn't worry about passing on fertility problems. In 20-30 years when your child wants to make a baby medical science will be much better.

Best of luck to you both.

]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 21:48:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690456&title=absolutely-gutted#690456 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : That is hard news to take, for...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690381&title=absolutely-gutted#690381 Author: busymum
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 8:40pm

That is hard news to take, for sure! As far as the 50/50 chance goes, there are so many ifs and buts and so much medical technology advancement as well, that I wouldn't let that stop you from TTC. Most kids have high chances of allergies, eye problems or congenital issues and it's just one of those things we have to deal with as humans. Just my 2cw.]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 20:40:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690381&title=absolutely-gutted#690381 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Huge hugs to you Parki, certainly...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690377&title=absolutely-gutted#690377 Author: peachy
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 8:36pm

Huge hugs to you Parki, certainly not what you wanted to hear.

On a positive note, I do know lots of couples who have under gone ICIS successfully.

Best of luck for some tough decisions to make in the near future ]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 20:36:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690377&title=absolutely-gutted#690377 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Huge hugs x This must be so hard...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690358&title=absolutely-gutted#690358 Author: yermasyada
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 8:18pm

Huge hugs x

This must be so hard for you both

Milliemoo]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 20:18:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690358&title=absolutely-gutted#690358 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Sorry to hear that, it must be...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690349&title=absolutely-gutted#690349 Author: ItchyFeet
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 8:11pm

Sorry to hear that, it must be gutting for you. We are going through ICSI now, and it is also our only hope, but honestly, it's not actually so bad going through the treatment, and if it works, we'll be over the moon. If not, then we'll know we tried everything we could to have a baby. I'd rather do that and know it didn't than not try and always wonder and regret.

DH often blames himself also. No matter how often I say it's not his fault, it just is, I know he sometimes gets down about it, especially when there are no issues on my side. I tell him that it doesn't matter which one of us it is, it affects both of us i.e. it's our infertility, not mine or his. We're in this together, regardless. It has taken a long time to get here for us, so what I'm trying to say is that you will spend a lot of time finding out what is available to you, and it may be confusing. Does DH's medical history mean PGD would be available to you, thus reducing the chance of a child inheriting the problem?

In regards to risking having a baby with the same condition, that is only a decision you and DH can make. I can only say that there are no guarantees in this life, and 50/50 odds are pretty good.

Have FA been able to offer you support or suggested alternatives? We found them to be really helpful, but we still needed to take time to take in the information before going back to them again with more questions so we could make a decision armed with all the information.]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 20:11:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690349&title=absolutely-gutted#690349 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Thanks. I brought it up a while...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690317&title=absolutely-gutted#690317 Author: Parki
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 7:49pm

Thanks.

I brought it up a while back and DH didn't seem very keen, I guess it's a different story now though? Im not sure, we have to discuss all the options I guess?]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 19:49:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690317&title=absolutely-gutted#690317 <![CDATA[Absolutely gutted = ( : Well....we just had our second...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690295&title=absolutely-gutted#690295 Author: Parki
Subject: 26621
Posted: 19 May 2009 at 7:36pm

Well....we just had our second appointment with Fertility Associates and the news is not what we were hoing for...

We basically have 1% chance of conceiving naturally.
IVF (ICSI) is our only option for having a baby. The news honestly hit me like a tonne of bricks and I think I'm still in shock.

The worst part is: The reason DH is unable to produce healthy sperm as it is linked to an illness he has hadd all his life called Bronchectisis - Basically the little hairs in his lungs don't work to move all the bad stuff out of them. He has had one lung removed so far and will have a life long cough (Kind of like life long Brochitis) So turns out this is all linked to the sperm and the tails of the sperm don't move either.

Anyway, we have been told that our baby, should we conceive has a 50/50 chance of having the same illness possibly resulting in lung transplants or removal and if it is a boy then the possibility of him having the same fertility issues as DH.

I feel sick. DH is absolutely devastated and is blaming himslef. I keep assuring him that nobody is to blame but he won't listen. I feel terrible.

So here is to day one of an 18 month (ish) wait to start our treatment - If we decide to go ahead.

How do you decide whether you should go ahead possibly putting your baby at risk of a life long illness?

Sorry for the novel.



Edited by Parki]]> Tue, 19 May 2009 19:36:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26621&PID=690295&title=absolutely-gutted#690295