OMG!! I have been feeling the same way. Been trying for number 2 for so long and now its finally happened Im feeling really overwhelmed. I dont have any connection as I did when I found out about our first and I also wonder how would I love another child as much as Jaxon.

Feel real guilty also. Im hoping after I have had a scan etc It will feel more real and start feeling a bit more maternal.

T_Rex wrote: Zasha are you going to be the main carer of your bubs once it arrives, or would you prefer your partner was? Maybe it would make things easier for you if he was at home and you went back to work once you've recovered from the birth? I totally know what you mean about being more of a todder person than a baby person. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to cope with a baby either, but I'm looking forward to having a toddler. I'm sorry this is such a rough time for you. I guess all you can do is keep talking eh? Glad to hear your MW is paying attention to things too.

My partner want me to be the main carer, as his job is more stable than mine, my work tends to be a bit on the seasonal side and weather dependant, if I had a bad couple of  weeks weather wise or my hours were reduced we'd be up crap creek with out a paddle.

My partners not a baby person either, I can't even get him to hold my sisters 9 month old, although he is good with my 2 1/2 year old niece, as he understands what she wants and can interact with her. 

Strange thing is I can look after my brothers and sisters kids with out any major issues, as when I've had enough they can go back home. but the thought of having to be the main care giver to one of my own totally freaks me out and I don't know how the hell I'm going to cope, with what is expected of me. The whole thought of breast feeding is just way to much for me at the moment and I've been having nightmares about it. I really thought I would have sorted out my issues out by now, but I just can't get my head around the idea of motherhood.

Bobbie wrote: ETA: Zasha your case sounds a bit more extreme Have you talked to your Doc/LMC about how you're feeling?

Yep I've talked to both my doctor and the midwife about the way I'm feeling, and I've since talked to several of the people that they have suggested, (some of them even suggested this web site) I've spent some time with mothers and babies, problem is I just can't seem to relate to the little babies, although once they grow up a bit and  reach a couple years old, I don't seem to have issues with them. 

Talking with some of the mothers has been interesting as some of them felt very similar to the way I do, but once the baby was born things changed dramatically for them and none of them had any regrets and they have all seemed to turn out to be good mums. The way I'm currently feeling I could quite easily give it up for adoption ( if my partner would let me), I just feel as though I'm trapped with no way out, and have to make so many sacrafices for something that I never ever wanted. I just feel as though I don't have anything to offer it once it's here.

Bussybee, you aren't alone, I'm feeling so unmaternal it's not even funny, I'm not a girly girl or maternaI in any way or form, I work in a male dominated industry and into male dominated sports, kids was never on my agenda, and here I am in my mid 30's and pregnant.

I had so many things planned for this year and now everything has been shattered, In all honesty I feel very angry about my current situation and in still some what in denial about the whole pregnancy, regardless of the fact that I've seen the baby on the scans, heard the heart beat, been a by stander on witnessing my body been distorted into the shape of a strangers, I've felt the baby kicking and moving around in my belly, and yet I still don't feel any kind of bond with the baby. I know the birth is inevitable and theres no way out but, I still haven't got my head around the whole idea of been a parent, much to my partners disapointment (he always wanted kids). I have no real matenal instinct and it is concerning me, Unfortunately for some reason I seem to view the baby as some sort of parasite, that is sucking the life outa me, taking over my body and stopping me doing what I love to do. For me love something takes a long time, and isn't something that comes easy, it takes me a long time to bond with anyone, and yet there's all the expectations of motherhood been placed on my shoulders, for me to instantly love and care for a baby that was never planned or in my case not wanted either. It took a lot of talking from my partner to stop me getting an abortion, there hasn't been many days in the past 5 1/2 months since I've found out I was pregnant, that I haven't ended up in tears (and I'm not usually and emotional person at all). People keep telling me that the maternal instinct will kick in, but I'm really starting to wonder if it's going to happen as I'm certainly not feeling maternal yet. My partner has even gone as far as naming the baby to try and get me to see it as a person, not just a growing lump in my belly, my partner has started to buy baby gear and I can see it slowly taking over our flat, I'm still not feeling the slightest bit clucky.