OHbaby! Forums : People ’giving advice’ ... etc

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : AzzaNZ wrote:just pass the...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:43:34 +0000

Author: Ant
Subject: 29537
Posted: 29�October�2009 at 10:43am

AzzaNZ wrote:

just pass the bean dip ladies...

in your sweetest voice ever say "why thankyou for your concern! would you like some of this dip with your chips, it really is delicious..."

or any other meaningless subject-changing waffle.

Azza - you're not an Ehellion by chance are you?

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Pants wrote: Also, how do you...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:37:20 +0000

Author: Ant
Subject: 29537
Posted: 29�October�2009 at 10:37am

Pants wrote:

Also, how do you respond?

"Thank you for your concern" and then change the subject or move away.

Or if you have to pull out the big guns
"I've discussed this with my doctor and have chosen to follow their advice on it."

Amazingly, I've had hardly any comments made (other than "Take the pain killers! Anything they offer! Really! Take them!!!!!!), which is almost annoying as I had my comebacks all ready!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Hi All, My best bit of "advice"...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:35:55 +0000

Author: NikkiCham
Subject: 29537
Posted: 28�October�2009 at 5:35pm

Hi All,

My best bit of "advice" so far is that you only have a long labour to spite others... from my MIL who had 3 kids all within 2 hours each and so can't understand what takes so long.

My Mum and Aunt (on Dad's side) both had at least 36 hours a kid so will maybe just not let her know until baby is here...

And yes tummy rubbing is a weird crazy side effect, I've gone to the extent of avoiding certain areas of our office at work to avoid the crazy tummy rubby people. IF YOU DIDN'T TOUCH ME BEFORE - DONT NOW!!!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : . its even more fun , if you...

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:50:21 +0000

Author: Pants
Subject: 29537
Posted: 26�October�2009 at 8:50pm

.[/QUOTE]

its even more fun , if you are not holding any dip , or they aren't eating any chips .
THEN , they think you are crazy , and they don't give so much advice then ....they just back away slowly ...[/QUOTE]

Haa that's brilliant. I love it!!!!

Thanks ladies, that was a good read and I got a lot of laughs!!

I know people mean well and would never think ill of anyone for giving advice. It's just a bit of a shock experiencing how many people feel they the right to comment on what you're doing. I may have to find some dip of my own to pass around in future

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Man I hope I manage to avoid the...

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:41:29 +0000

Author: Jelly
Subject: 29537
Posted: 26�October�2009 at 7:41pm

Man I hope I manage to avoid the space invading elderly for the next few months... I wouldn't DREAM of walking up to a pregnant woman and rubbing her belly. I mean what are they hoping for, a bloody genie?!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : AzzaNZ wrote:just pass the...

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:29:45 +0000

Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 29537
Posted: 26�October�2009 at 6:29pm

AzzaNZ wrote:

just pass the bean dip ladies...

in your sweetest voice ever say "why thankyou for your concern! would you like some of this dip with your chips, it really is delicious..."

.

its even more fun , if you are not holding any dip , or they aren't eating any chips .
THEN , they think you are crazy , and they don't give so much advice then ....they just back away slowly ...

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Pants, I just put my filtering...

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:57:39 +0000

Author: RinTinTin
Subject: 29537
Posted: 26�October�2009 at 11:57am

Pants, I just put my filtering cap on.

Everyone wants to give you every piece of advice out there. I think it's kind of because they wished they'd known that stuff themselves, or found it a great help to them, so they feel it's only fair to pass on that info to others.

Just wait till you get a belly and people feel the need to walk upto you and touch your belly without asking. Thats a serious WTF moment!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : just pass the bean dip ladies... in...

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:02:34 +0000

Author: AzzaNZ
Subject: 29537
Posted: 25�October�2009 at 10:02pm

just pass the bean dip ladies...

in your sweetest voice ever say "why thankyou for your concern! would you like some of this dip with your chips, it really is delicious..."

or any other meaningless subject-changing waffle.

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : another one my mil was saying...

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 12:59:10 +0000

Author: NovemberMum
Subject: 29537
Posted: 25�October�2009 at 12:59pm

another one my mil was saying that I should wean Megan off the breast otherwise she may get jealous when I am feeding her brother..lol and yet there will many mothers who tandem feed their new born and toddler no problems.

I had no intention of weaning Megan (she did self wean) so if I was still BFing her when her brother came along then so be it.

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : oh it is fun!!! And the advice...

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 12:31:54 +0000

Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 29537
Posted: 25�October�2009 at 12:31pm

oh it is fun!!!
And the advice goes right from pregnancy through to baby hood , school , teenage years ...guess you just learn to ignore it .

I would take everything with a grain of salt, and try and remember that most people were genuinely wanting to be helpful .
If it was obvious they just wanted to start a disagreement , I would answer their question and if that wasn't enough for them , id say "im sorry , im not sure why its of so much concern to you ?"
that usually shut them up (plus, you can blame it on "angry pregnant hormones " )

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Yep, breast vs formula, work vs...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:13:55 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 8:13pm

Yep, breast vs formula, work vs stay at home, what you dress them in, how you burp them, whether they have a mobile or it's a waste of money (I have this one at the moment), prams being useless vs not being useless, who they look like, best way to burp them, what they have now vs what they had in the olden days (and of course what they have now is a waste of money, rather than advanced technology that helps our children or us do things easier)....it never ever stops!!!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : OMG you are so right Kate, it...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:04:47 +0000

Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 8:04pm

OMG you are so right Kate, it gets worse once they are out!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : shadowfeet wrote:She was also...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:59:02 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 7:59pm

shadowfeet wrote:

She was also telling me we didn't need a pram/buggy. They were really old fashioned and noone has one, apparently . I don't listen to much of what my mum tells me.

You'd be surprised how many people said the same thing to me. I've used it quite a bit actually - what else am I supposed to do if I want to go out? Ohh, that's right, you don't get out of the house with twins because by the time you've got them ready one has spewed and the other has had a poo-splosion so you just give up (another well meaning piece of advice....funnily enough I even went to town by myself with the girls the other day for a few hours and no poo-splosions, and no spews!!!)...

Everyone will give you advice. Listen to it, take it in and either write it down if you think it will come in handy later, or just ignore it if you think it's stupid. And everyone will have a comment about breastfeeding vs formula too. It never stops, even after the baby/ies are born!!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Yeah i do like paws.I try and...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 13:27:50 +0000

Author: isabel
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 1:27pm

Yeah i do like paws.I try and shut off my ears and not listen when people in great DETAIL tell me all the problems they had when in labour and that im likely to have that too, even though im not related to them and my mum had really easy labours....its like, if i ask how your labour was fair enough but when i dont ask and people tell me anyway i get a bit frustarated but i just go "hmm, so the weather been bad lately hasnt it?" Im a first timer so labour scares me and hearing only horror storyies freak me out!Caus none of the people has had a "nice"labour, with no horriable complications..

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Paws wrote:Listen politely...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:35:27 +0000

Author: Caro07
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 12:35pm

Paws wrote:

Listen politely to what they say, smile and just respond with something like, "thanks, that's something to think about" or similar. Some advice may actually be kind of good but some....yeah well. I just found the best thing was to nod politely and let it slide.

Pretty much what Paws said Generally people are just trying to help, although I have to admit coming over to your desk to check what you had taken seems a bit much IMO. I just try to remember that people are, for the most, just trying to be kind/helpful and think that their advice is the bees knees

It doesn't stop either. There is always someone on hand to offer 'advice' !

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Listen politely to what they say,...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:32:00 +0000

Author: Paws
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 12:32pm

Listen politely to what they say, smile and just respond with something like, "thanks, that's something to think about" or similar. Some advice may actually be kind of good but some....yeah well. I just found the best thing was to nod politely and let it slide.

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : I just tune them out and don't...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 09:29:09 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 9:29am

I just tune them out and don't even respond. Once they've finished talking I'll just smile vaguely and walk away or say aomething completely unrelated to babies. If they push it I have a lovely little eyebrow lift and sneer that seems to work well coz they shut up pretty quick

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : Megansmum I thought same thing...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:57:38 +0000

Author: High9
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 12:57am

Megansmum I thought same thing when she said it haha

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : nkap9 wrote:My grandma told...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:14:09 +0000

Author: NovemberMum
Subject: 29537
Posted: 24�October�2009 at 12:14am

nkap9 wrote:

My grandma told me I can't do ANY lifting, can't even stretch my arms above my head because... the umbilical cord will get wrapped around the babys neck and die - I didn't bother responding.

my nana told me that too I just chuckled to myself be bit difficult not to especially when it comes to washing or getting things out of the pantry or a plate or cup out.

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : I had one piece of advice yesterday...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 22:26:39 +0000

Author: monkey33
Subject: 29537
Posted: 23�October�2009 at 10:26pm

I had one piece of advice yesterday - I was covering someone and standing behind reception of a hotel where I work. A supplier who I have met once, came up to the desk and said 'wow you're pregnant congratulations! Now, are you going to breastfeed?' I was caught a bit of guard TBH and I had a guest in earshot so was a bit uncomfortable. I replied with 'um yes' and she said 'Hmm well you know breast is best. Those who say they can't really haven't tried enough - it is nature and everyone can do it if they really try'.

I was speechless!

Have had a few other 'pieces of advice' and you just have to shrug them off - I think most people mean well, they just don't know when to perhaps keep their 'advice' to themselves

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : hehe.. yes you most probably have...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:37:41 +0000

Author: Mamma2N
Subject: 29537
Posted: 23�October�2009 at 8:37pm

hehe.. yes you most probably have alot more 'well-meaning' advice to come

You know your body and your bodies limit so will slow down on physical activity accordingly. I mowed the lawns for the last time at around 38weeks - have only done it once since having baby mind you! hehe... As for food, I ate whatever I liked regardless of what people told me I shouldn't be eating. If its dodgy I wouldn't eat it whether I am pregnant or not. My body, my baby, my choice

Unfortunetly though, 'advice' given when pregnant has nothing on 'advice' given once you have baby!

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : My Mum's like the opposite....

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:14:48 +0000

Author: shadowfeet
Subject: 29537
Posted: 23�October�2009 at 8:14pm

My Mum's like the opposite. She was telling me last week that I should be mowing the lawns etc etc. I hurt for 2 days after she was demanding I do the gardening. Not going to even think about lawns.

She was also telling me we didn't need a pram/buggy. They were really old fashioned and noone has one, apparently . I don't listen to much of what my mum tells me.

Oh, and the psychiatrist keeps asking if 'm taking my folic acid at each appointment. He got a little angry when I said no (at well past 20 weeks by that point).

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : My grandma told me I can't...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:22:42 +0000

Author: High9
Subject: 29537
Posted: 23�October�2009 at 7:22pm

My grandma told me I can't do ANY lifting, can't even stretch my arms above my head because... the umbilical cord will get wrapped around the babys neck and die - I didn't bother responding.

People have told me I can't take any medication or have any pain relief as my baby will pretty much come out a junkie. - I respond by saying if that was the case they wouldn't offer it/tell you to take it.

Food, get lots of advice on food, I just respond by saying if it looks dodgy I don't eat it, or if I'm concerned about eating it I don't bother.

Oh yeah, A woman advised me against running, she said it's like shaking a baby and can cause brain damage, etc.

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : I let them say it and say thanks...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:16:05 +0000

Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 29537
Posted: 23�October�2009 at 7:16pm

I let them say it and say thanks and just take it with a grain of salt. People are well meaning it what they say (I know I am when asked about things) but you don't have to take it as gospel.

People ’giving advice’ ... etc : I'd love to hear any stories...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:09:21 +0000

Author: Pants
Subject: 29537
Posted: 23�October�2009 at 7:09pm

I'd love to hear any stories you all have because since we've told people we're pregnant I seem to be getting all sorts of advice and suggestions ...

Yesterday one of the blokes at work (who's wife is pregnant) was giving me advice on the sorts of medicine I couldn't take while pregnant. Fine in itself but then he saw me taking my iron tablet a little later and came rushing over to my desk almost demanding to know what I'd just swallowed ... "because I really do need to be careful" ... WTF??

I know people mean well but I'm only 15 weeks ... what will I be like in a couple of months with all the advice??

Also, how do you respond?