OHbaby! Forums : Never shake a baby

Never shake a baby : i Cant say that iv actually seen...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:15:51 +0000

Author: BaAsKa
Subject: 30398
Posted: 10�December�2009 at 9:15pm

i Cant say that iv actually seen zed add??...but i too have had to walk away from the screaming to gather myself before i could calmly deal to it

Never shake a baby : I think it's a great ad....

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:55:41 +0000

Author: LittleBug
Subject: 30398
Posted: 10�December�2009 at 3:55pm

I think it's a great ad. It raises awareness about how you have to keep yourself and your baby safe when you are sleep-deprived and frustrated.

There were occasions that I felt like shaking Chloe (she was a colicky/refluxy baby) but I never did because I remembered those ads from when I was young, "never shake a baby"... the instinct of wanting to shake her wasn't one of violence either, it was purely that I wanted to stop her crying (not by hurting her, but you know how jiggling/doing something different etc. calms the baby, it was something along those lines but driven by frustration).

It's not "bad people" that are at risk of shaking a baby, just poorly informed ones at the height of frustration and sleep deprivation and at their wits end.

I, for one, am thankful for all those "never shake a baby" ads that were on tv when I was young.

Never shake a baby : and for the record he does pick...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 11:14:50 +0000

Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 30398
Posted: 10�December�2009 at 11:14am

and for the record he does pick bub up at the end.. i saw it again a couple of times last night and i like it..

Never shake a baby : caitlynsmygirl wrote:He was...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 10:33:41 +0000

Author: Bobbie
Subject: 30398
Posted: 10�December�2009 at 10:33am

caitlynsmygirl wrote:

He was in SS think he was Wiremu, and he was in a McDs ad, when hes in the drive through and I dunno , realises its still breakfast menu or something.

Ah yeah thanks! that's it - the McD's ad. I don't count Shorty because seriously who hasn't been on it?

OK I'll let you guys resume the acutal topic sorry

Never shake a baby : I also think its a good ad. We...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:24:12 +0000

Author: bebebaby
Subject: 30398
Posted: 10�December�2009 at 12:24am

I also think its a good ad.
We were talking about it at work. And they used to have those adverts on the TV all the time. Then there has been this big gap, and a whole generation has missed out on hearing this message. I think its important for people to realise its ok to walk away. If it only helps one person then it was worth it (Thats my opinion anyway)

Never shake a baby : I think its a great Ad! Isabella...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:39:39 +0000

Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 10:39pm

I think its a great Ad!

Isabella has been SUCH an unsettled baby, she cry's all the time and it does my damn head in, and a few times I have HAD to let her cry because I felt like shaking her. Now I would NEVER shake her, but that feeling of anger washes over you and you really do feel like shaking them.

So what i do is, count to ten and take deeps breaths, then go back to her, letting her cry is not going to kill her, but shaking her can/will!

I think its a good message, its OK to let a baby cry if it means you have time to get your head together and calm down so you are better equip mentally to deal with it.

Never shake a baby : caitlynsmygirl wrote:Yeah ,...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:15:36 +0000

Author: jazzy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 10:15pm

caitlynsmygirl wrote:

Yeah , was Wiremu .

Yip your right, I just washed the dye out of my hair & it came to me, ha ha.

I too have a Ty he is 3 & boy he pushed my buttons today, screaming for no reason at school pick up time so everyone could see & hear, boy did I count to some ungodly number of course with a smile on my face....little angel

Never shake a baby : Yeah , was Wiremu .

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:06:09 +0000

Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 10:06pm

Yeah , was Wiremu .

Never shake a baby : He was in SS think he was Wiremu,...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:05:18 +0000

Author: caitlynsmygirl
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 10:05pm

He was in SS think he was Wiremu, and he was in a McDs ad, when hes in the drive through and I dunno , realises its still breakfast menu or something.
Ha, he was also one of my patients , I gave him a filling (well, my boss did)

I have walked away , put Ty down in his cot and just shut his door, shut my door , counted to 100 , and gone back in , sometimes you need to have a few seconds to focus , the sound of a babies cry is hard to ignore, because it is meant to be , its their survival tool really .

Never shake a baby : yip shorty st, I think the cousin...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:04:14 +0000

Author: jazzy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 10:04pm

yip shorty st, I think the cousin of the one that ended up in a wheel chair, they came to a singing school or something...hmm what was his name, now that's going to bug me

Never shake a baby : Yeah, wasn't he T.K's...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:26:07 +0000

Author: Snappy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 9:26pm

Yeah, wasn't he T.K's nephew?

Never shake a baby : Bobbie I think he was in another...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:13:22 +0000

Author: Jaxnz1
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 9:13pm

Bobbie I think he was in another ad a while ago. Can't remember what it was, but I remember seeing him in an ad once and thinking he looked like someone I went to school with.

I think it's a good ad with a good message. I've done it a couple of times today as I think DD is having a growth spurt, either that or it's colic. Been crying all day and feeding all day, haven't had a break until now!

Never shake a baby : Shortland Street?

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:07:13 +0000

Author: newmum
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 9:07pm

Shortland Street?

Never shake a baby : oOElleOo wrote: I'm actually...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:01:10 +0000

Author: Bobbie
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 9:01pm

oOElleOo wrote:

I'm actually friends with the guy in the ad, and crack up everytime I see it because of this

OK a bit off topic but what else has he been in? I swear I've seen him on TV before and it's really bugging me.

Never shake a baby : I think the ad's are good...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:47:20 +0000

Author: newmum
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 8:47pm

I think the ad's are good too.

I have to admit I really lost it when my oldest was about 6 weeks old and I hadn't slept since he was born. Was so past it and had been putting up such a front that all was well and one night really just slammed him back into his bassinet and crumpled to the floor sobbing. I really freaked out that I could just snap like that.

Pretty easy to do I think? That's the closest I've come to "shaking" a baby and it was so scary.

Good message to walk away.

Never shake a baby : I think it's a great ad. I...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:28:19 +0000

Author: MrsMojo
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 8:28pm

I think it's a great ad.

I do agree that shaking a baby is a form of child abuse, I don't think anyone here disagrees on that, but it is different in a sense that it can be done by otherwise good people in a desperate, sleep deprived state whereas prolonged child abuse is not done by good people.

Most babies respond really well to jiggling gently, if they're more upset jiggling a bit more vigourously can help soothe them. I can see why it would be easy to shake instead of jiggle if you were at the end of your tether and hoping that the movement would calm them.

Like Kaiz I remember the ads (from the 90s?). I also remember being told that babies brains continue shaking inside their skulls even after the shaking has stopped so just a few seconds can do major damage. As a result I have always been overprotective (I even checked with my plunket nurse whether the way I swung DS's car capsule to calm him would be damaging).

Never shake a baby : I used to take a shower.....or...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:40:15 +0000

Author: lizzle
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 7:40pm

I used to take a shower.....or let the shower run and sit in the bathroom (can't hear them cry then!)

Never shake a baby : I think it a fantastic add, well...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:08:11 +0000

Author: jazzy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 6:08pm

I think it a fantastic add, well done to them.

People who hurt & kills kids are just violent sick thugs.

People that snap under stress need to know the warning signs, know how to deal with them & know it is ok to walk away & you are not a bad or useless parent. That add sums that up.

There is so much PC BS going on, parenting is a hard enough job, no one is perfect & you don't have to be.

No matter how prepared you are for the birth of your baby, you never know when the emotions are going to hit you, that cute little angel you see sleeping is not always going to sleep & you think you were tired when pg that's nothing to the next few years & if you have more that 1, well you know what I mean

Plenty of times I have walked away, now day I use the old time out on my kids as much for me as them.
So let the baby cry, go make a cuppa, go back when ready.

Never shake a baby : i havent read everything but i...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:01:59 +0000

Author: ElfsMum
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 6:01pm

i havent read everything but i see the girl i am about to mention has been mentioned..

i know through someone the person who did the shaking and personally anything that helps stop people shaking babies like he did is worth it and i dont mind the ad.

Never shake a baby : I think shaking a baby is different...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:46:50 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 5:46pm

I think shaking a baby is different to child abuse in the sense that child abuse is intentional - quite often shaking a baby is done in the heat of the moment with intense frustration/sleep deprivation, it's not a deliberate action. That is the difference that I think people are meaning.

I can well understand how you can get to that stage. There have been a few times where I have walked out, shut the doors and had a Milo, because both girls are crying, I don't know why and I don't know how to stop them (and it's all fine cuddling them etc., but I can't do it to both at the same time while retaining my own hearing and sanity). The nurses in neonatal told me it's better to leave them crying while you have a Milo and calm down (even just making it...only takes a couple of minutes) than try to deal with them when you're upset, because not only do you not have any patience in that scenario, but they also pick up on your frustration and that makes it worse.

Never shake a baby : Bombshell wrote: cuppatea...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:24:46 +0000

Author: cuppatea
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 4:24pm

Bombshell wrote:

cuppatea wrote:

Shaking a baby is different to child abuse

I disagree...it is totally a form of child abuse! It may have a different intention behind it but it is still abuse.

Probably should have explained myself better, I think that shaking a baby through frustration and not being able to think straight cos of sleep deprivation and all the other craziness that comes with a newborn is different to other child abuse that happens (like putting a 3 year old in a tumble dryer) and it was in response to someone writing that people that would shake a baby would not watch tv or be affected by the ad. I think they would because I don't think that people that shake babies are necessarily ones that would abuse a child, more just parents that have been driven to snapping point and have not walked away at that critical point and those people are from all walks of life (and most likely have a tv)

Never shake a baby : Brilliant ad! I am all for making...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:17:21 +0000

Author: WestiesGirl
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 4:17pm

Brilliant ad! I am all for making these ads being played to bring awareness into the community even if it just a simple reminder.

We were told about 'walking away' during our antenatal classes so were aware before bubs arrived but its so easy to forget if your in the heat of the moment.

Ditto what Emz and FionaO have said.

Never shake a baby : Someone asked what ad it was: ...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:07:52 +0000

Author: shadowfeet
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 3:07pm

Someone asked what ad it was:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WJbc78smJM

Personally, I think it's a great ad, even though watching babies cry is hard. It has the potential to be very effective with all the other measures they're putting in place

http://www.powertoprotect.net.nz/ < information about the campaign

Never shake a baby : cuppatea wrote: Shaking a baby...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:00:47 +0000

Author: Bombshell
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 3:00pm

cuppatea wrote:

Shaking a baby is different to child abuse

I disagree...it is totally a form of child abuse! It may have a different intention behind it but it is still abuse.

I am of the walk away action group....I had to many times when ella was in her first six weeks...noone warns you of that!!!! walk away walk away walk away!!!! Ill preach that always...and good on the ads.

I just had a CYFS manager in my office and we were talking about the initiatives...something like 50,000 kids involved in a conflict each year, about 5000 of them actioned immediately and the rest....well lets just say they slip thru! In my own role I have seen "accidents" and "abuse" and lets say in some scenarios there is a VERY fine line between them....

Never shake a baby : I agree,I think itsa great ad...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:51:28 +0000

Author: MamaT
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 2:51pm

I agree, I think its a great ad and even though I haven't yet had a child of my own I can see how overwhelming it can get and how frustration can get the better of even the most level-headed and calm parent.

As someone else said, if it stops just one child being hurt than its a good thing

Never shake a baby : Totally agree with emz, I think...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:40:39 +0000

Author: FionaO
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 2:40pm

Totally agree with emz, I think the adverts are great as they show its ok to feel overwhelmed by a baby who just won't stop crying - and that its normal to feel that way.

DH and I both did it with DS on occasion when he was tiny, put him in his cot, let him scream, and leave him, normally within a minute i'd feel calmer to go back in and try something else, but at the time you just feel so hopeless as how to stop them, I think its the best advice put them down - crying doesn't hurt (obviously don't leave them for hours) gather yourself together and carry on.

Good on them for raising awareness.

Never shake a baby : Personally, I think it's...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:24:44 +0000

Author: emz
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 2:24pm

Personally, I think it's great. Having come so close to losing it many times with Ava, its nice to have it recognised that it is a 'normal' part of parenting to feel frustrated, and it shows how to cope with that (walking away).

I have met the wee girl brought up by her grandparents that someone mentioned - I didn't know the full story until later but my god those people are heroes to dote on her like they do. I assumed they were her parents to start with because the love for her was just amazing. It makes me so sad to think of the life she is missing out on because her father couldn't walk away.

Never shake a baby : So know that feeling although...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:23:08 +0000

Author: HoneybunsMa
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 2:23pm

So know that feeling although I don't think i would ever shake DD I know there have been times when she is crying and stomping on me and I just kind of sit there and let her do it to get the frustration out or I put her down on the ground and walk away when I can't deal with it. Would rather her scream and have her tanty on the ground and me to be able to walk away then get frustrated and do something that might hurt her.

I'm actually friends with the guy in the ad, and crack up everytime I see it because of this

Never shake a baby : Bizzy wrote: summerlamb wrote: ...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:07:44 +0000

Author: cuppatea
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 2:07pm

Bizzy wrote:

summerlamb wrote:

Bizzy wrote:

mrsg1 wrote:

summerlamb wrote:

I don't mind the ad but it's not going to stop people who would shake a baby from doing it.

Have to agree on this one, people that shake babies probably wont see these adds.

i dont know why you think they wouldnt see the ads. are you stereotyping people who shake babies? cause if you are you are sadly mistaken. People who shake babies come from all walks of like, its not just those from lower socio economic areas who dont have access to tv!

Woah, I'm hoping that you're aiming the comment as mrsg1 because I wasn't implying anything about the 'type' of people, just that in my opinion I didn't think an ad on tv would change anything. I would love to be wrong and as the previous poster wrote, if it saves one baby it is worthwhile, I just don't think an ad on tv will stop anyone who is going to harm a child.

quite often people who shake babies arent intending to do them harm! there is a big difference to the person who wants to harm a child and deliberately sets out to do harm and parents on the edge who shake a child out of frustration and dont realise the serious consequences to that action.

and yes my comment was aimed at msg1 and anyone else who would think the same.

Shaking a baby is different to child abuse, it's quite often done by sleep deprived parents of newborns who just "lose it" and not because they intend to or want to hurt a baby. Sometimes when they just don't stop screaming it can be hard to think straight and you end up feeling like slamming your own head into the wall or ripping your hair out with frustration, it's not hard for me to understand how with a really bad cryer you could end up unintentionally hurting the baby. I think it's a good ad, it never hurts to remind people to put the baby somewhere safe and walk away for a few mins to pull yourself together.

Never shake a baby : summerlamb wrote: Bizzy wrote: ...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:58:38 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:58pm

summerlamb wrote:

Bizzy wrote:

mrsg1 wrote:

summerlamb wrote:

I don't mind the ad but it's not going to stop people who would shake a baby from doing it.

Have to agree on this one, people that shake babies probably wont see these adds.

Never shake a baby : I still remember an ad from when...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:51:57 +0000

Author: Snappy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:51pm

I still remember an ad from when I was a young child that said "Never EVER shake a Baby" and I still remember it to this day. There are people out there who don't realise the effects shaking has on babies. I always knew not to shake a baby, but I didnt realise what kind of serious damage it could do up until a few months ago. There was a doco on a wee girl whos grandparents were taking care of her, I think her father was in jail for shaking her? She couldn't do much on her own, just heartbreaking.

The wee baby does sound really upset on the ad, but I guess they used that to get the point across.

Never shake a baby : i think it's a great ad,...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:43:26 +0000

Author: LJsmum
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:43pm

i think it's a great ad, it needs to be on and the topic out there, it happens a lot and as othres have said anyone may or can lose it, doesn't matter who you are or what socio enconomic group you fall into.

more ad's like these are needed i say

Never shake a baby : ummmm i have to ask...what ad?...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:37:55 +0000

Author: Kazzle
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:37pm

ummmm i have to ask...what ad?

Never shake a baby : Aww everytime the baby cries in...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:25:49 +0000

Author: Bobbie
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:25pm

Aww everytime the baby cries in that ad I get all teary but I'm super glad they're doing the ads - and I think they're well done too.

Never shake a baby : Bizzy wrote: mrsg1 wrote: ...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:14:33 +0000

Author: clover
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:14pm

Bizzy wrote:

mrsg1 wrote:

summerlamb wrote:

I don't mind the ad but it's not going to stop people who would shake a baby from doing it.

Have to agree on this one, people that shake babies probably wont see these adds.

Never shake a baby : Yep I agree with Bizzy and Minik8e...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:14:15 +0000

Author: Bexee
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:14pm

Yep I agree with Bizzy and Minik8e - sometimes people come to the end of their tether. And they're not necessarily the people who you'd expect to hurt kids. Having a baby, I can see how someone who perhaps isn't equiped with coping skills could lose it for a second. I'd never hurt my son, but it has given me that insight...

Never shake a baby : I agree with Bizzy. I think in...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:02:01 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 1:02pm

I agree with Bizzy. I think in some cases, it's nothing to do with a person's upbringing, but sleep deprivation and frustration can lead a person to just lose their patience, and that's when things like this happen. It's completely different to someone who systematically abuses their children - a lot of people don't realise what damage shaking can do. The ad may make people think twice about picking up a baby when they are angry (they may not be intending to hurt bubs, but their frustration is overwhelming).

Never shake a baby : I always thought that someone...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:49:19 +0000

Author: luvmylittlies
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 12:49pm

I always thought that someone who would hurt/shake a baby would do so no matter what info they got. But actually from the info I'm getting from other health care professionals (I work in a large DHB) about campaigns like this one (and the anti-smacking stuff) was that there's a large group of people who DIDN'T know these things weren't okay and are now seeking help for coping and parenting skills. I reckon even if it stopped one kid from being brain damaged or beaten to death it'd be worth it.

Never shake a baby : I agree with Bizzy and that's...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:46:25 +0000

Author: maysie
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 12:46pm

I agree with Bizzy and that's exactly what the ad is showing. - all good during the day but at nighttime when the baby is crying and they're all frustrated and don't know what to do...
However, they said they used a young Maori guy because statistics show a higher incidence of shaken babies in this 'group'. And it is recommended that you put the baby down in a safe place while you get yourself together and calm if you are in this position.
Noone likes to hear a baby crying and upset I think the ad is well done.

Never shake a baby : mrsg1 wrote: summerlamb wrote:I...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:38:06 +0000

Author: Bizzy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 12:38pm

mrsg1 wrote:

summerlamb wrote:

I don't mind the ad but it's not going to stop people who would shake a baby from doing it.

Have to agree on this one, people that shake babies probably wont see these adds.

Never shake a baby : I think it is a really effective...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:04:11 +0000

Author: Bexee
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 12:04pm

I think it is a really effective ad myself. And I do think some people just lose control. No, it won't stop those who torture children (aka Nia Glassie) but it does show people that are at teh end of their tether that it's okay to walk away.

Never shake a baby : summerlamb wrote:I don't...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:57:57 +0000

Author: caliandjack
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:57am

summerlamb wrote:

I don't mind the ad but it's not going to stop people who would shake a baby from doing it.

Have to agree on this one, people that shake babies probably wont see these adds.

Never shake a baby : I don't mind the ad but it's...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:43:53 +0000

Author: clover
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:43am

I don't mind the ad but it's not going to stop people who would shake a baby from doing it.

Never shake a baby : I'm with Em....I'd rather...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:32:17 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:32am

I'm with Em....I'd rather let a baby cry then pick it up when I'm so frustrated/angry that I might hurt it, albeit unintentionally, by shaking it. The ad gets that across.

Never shake a baby : I think it gets the message across...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:31:09 +0000

Author: ?Lolly?
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:31am

I think it gets the message across though. No body likes a crying baby. This advert shows people that is ok to let the baby cry, better than picking baby up and shaking it.

Never shake a baby : good message. can't stand...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:27:37 +0000

Author: MyLilSquishy
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:27am

good message. can't stand crying babys either though. you can still pick them up for a hug...

Never shake a baby : I think the ad is cleverly done...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:25:27 +0000

Author: Henna79
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:25am

I think the ad is cleverly done but I can't stand a crying baby.

Never shake a baby : I actually don't mind it

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:12:12 +0000

Author: kebakat
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:12am

I actually don't mind it

Never shake a baby : Does any one else really not like...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:07:36 +0000

Author: BessieBear
Subject: 30398
Posted: 09�December�2009 at 11:07am

Does any one else really not like that new ad. I can't stand that they are letting the baby cry. It's horrible.