OHbaby! Forums : Working mother guilts... https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Thu, 30 Apr 2026 18:18:31 +0000 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:26:45 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=32263 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : Thanks for the support. I get...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=969728&title=working-mother-guilts#969728 Author: Bexee
Subject: 32263
Posted: 16 March 2010 at 4:26pm

Thanks for the support. I get so sick of people looking shocked when I say I am returning to work, or looking down their nose and telling me how "precious" those first few years are.

Teehee on the quilt comment - just reminded me the quilt I was going to make while heavily pregnant, frustrated and overdue is still sitting there - partly because DS decided to arrive 8 days early and I never got to that point. Should finish before I start work ]]> Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:26:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=969728&title=working-mother-guilts#969728 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : I was lucky when I went back part...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=969236&title=working-mother-guilts#969236 Author: jazzy
Subject: 32263
Posted: 16 March 2010 at 9:57am

I was lucky when I went back part time as DH was home as I worked nights, however when I did have to use a DC I was a mess, but is was good for me & him lol.

Just fine one that you are happy with & there are also in home care that may work better for you, or a friend or family & if it is not working out then try something different.

]]> Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:57:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=969236&title=working-mother-guilts#969236 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : I went back to work 2 weeks ago....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968960&title=working-mother-guilts#968960 Author: fallen
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 9:25pm

I went back to work 2 weeks ago. DS is 6 months old. He loves daycare and has adjusted to it wonderfully. They were really good with having us visit twice a week in the weeks before he started so he could develop relationships with the carers. They also got me to write down all his routines, likes, dislikes etc etc.

My biggest stress was how feeding would go. I am still breastfeeding him and wanted to continue. It was the mid afternoon feed that I was worried about. I tried expressing but I wasn't getting much. The dc tried feeding him the expressed milk but he wouldn't take it. So now I go in at lunch time and feed him then and hes happy to wait until night for the next one! Its amazing how well they will adjust.

I was really dreading returning to work, but really it hasn't been so bad. Night times and mornings are challenging, but I try to have as much as possible organised beforehand.

Good luck. I'm sure it will be fine.]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:25:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968960&title=working-mother-guilts#968960 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : I&#039;ve had my wee girl (13...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968846&title=working-mother-guilts#968846 Author: Blankney94
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 8:07pm

I've had my wee girl (13 months) in care since she was about 8 months old - one afternoon a week then working up to 3 x 5 hrs a week (now that I have returned part time to work).  Brooke is in home based care.  When I went to pick her up today she didn't want to be handed over to me - the little horror!   So yes no problems with wee girl being happy there!

]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:07:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968846&title=working-mother-guilts#968846 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : It will be fine, it really will...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968804&title=working-mother-guilts#968804 Author: FionaO
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 7:32pm

It will be fine, it really will but I do agree you need to be prepared that the first few weeks are more than a bit rough.

On day one I thought about chucking it all in, but they cope so much better than we do.

The sickness side is hard but that also gets easier as time goes on.

DC is good, they are totally focussed on the kids, they perform mini miracles getting them to sleep and eat but they all do.

]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:32:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968804&title=working-mother-guilts#968804 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : LOL I thought the title of thread...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968778&title=working-mother-guilts#968778 Author: LouD
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 7:14pm

LOL I thought the title of thread was "quilts"


My second started DC when he was 10months, i was only doing 3 days a week but had no choice as we had a mortgage to pay..........i eventually increased him to 4 then 5 days and he loved it. I would have to say that because he was in DC from such a young age hes been able to adapt to new situations and has great social skills and make friends easily and be an all round great well adjusted kid and i would credit the DC for a lot of that (ok i suppose i better take a wee bit of credit)

He will be fine!! as long as your comfortable with the DC he will love it there]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:14:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968778&title=working-mother-guilts#968778 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : My DS is 11 months now and started...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968701&title=working-mother-guilts#968701 Author: Manda08
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 5:42pm

My DS is 11 months now and started DC at just over 5 months. I hated leaving him, and to this day i stll feel some what guilty. But i just keep in mind me working gives him all the things he has.
When we pull up to daycare he knows straight away and starts flapping his arms! His sleeps however are still not great at DC but he comes home and has a good sleep.

Its certainly not an evil place... if you feel it is its not the right DC. You have to be comfortable of where he is going.

All the best. Im sure your DS will be fine. Oh and if there is anything you are not happy with in what they are doing, tell them, they dont know otherwise! ]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 17:42:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968701&title=working-mother-guilts#968701 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : BecM, my son was a terrible feeder...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968687&title=working-mother-guilts#968687 Author: KiwiL
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 5:22pm

BecM, my son was a terrible feeder (to a massive extreme) and day care has been monumental at getting him to eat with some relative normality. I never believed it until I experienced it, but the carers do tend to be very patient and know lots of the tricks.

I also found that, with my pressure off, JJ took a lot more to drink at day care.

I bawled for days when he started, and I still feel incredibly guilty being a full-time working mum. But Jackson LOVES day care and never seems to be short of attention. He is close to lots of his carers and it really does feel like a second home for him. ]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 17:22:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968687&title=working-mother-guilts#968687 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : Hmm well I&#039;ve been back at...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968656&title=working-mother-guilts#968656 Author: emz
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 4:51pm

Hmm well I've been back at work 6 weeks now and it's just getting worse and worse, so I'm no help whatsoever

But the kids do love DC, it's the evenings that are our issue, and when they get sick, as I'm the only one that can deal with them but my job is relieving for sick people, so the school would get pretty pi$$ed if I had to ring sick because of the kids all the time.

I love being away from the kids though It does make you appreciate the time with them more I reckon.]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:51:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968656&title=working-mother-guilts#968656 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : welcome to the working mummy guilts...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968187&title=working-mother-guilts#968187 Author: Bombshell
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 10:11am

welcome to the working mummy guilts club!!! Ive been a card carrying member since she was 5.5 months old fulltime!!!

our DC is awesome 99% of the time...the other 1% i can take or leave or have a go at them! Im not afraid of them - they are looking after my child and accountable to me! Take that attitude and run with it!!! seriously!!!

DC is not an evil place and the kids in our dc are so clever, social, and such a delight that i rarely see any kids so mega upset that they should not be there. The ones that are usually get removed and never settle in any dc...and id say that is one in 20 kids at our DC.

HUGS to u - its not easy. Worst still to come is those that ask if you are working parttime, or how you can cope leaving your child in DC so much! Have a response ready .....!!! I kid you not - it happens more than you think!!! ]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 10:11:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968187&title=working-mother-guilts#968187 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : I bawled my eyes out the first...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968145&title=working-mother-guilts#968145 Author: lilfatty
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 9:29am

I bawled my eyes out the first time I left DD at the centre by herself (she was 18 months) .. she on the other hand didnt miss me. ]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:29:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968145&title=working-mother-guilts#968145 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : He&#039;ll be 9.5 months when...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968094&title=working-mother-guilts#968094 Author: Bexee
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 8:23am

He'll be 9.5 months when he starts... I know it's best for both of us and always felt fine about it until now, and now I feel awful.]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 08:23:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968094&title=working-mother-guilts#968094 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : Daycare is not evil - you will...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968075&title=working-mother-guilts#968075 Author: Peanut
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 7:53am

Daycare is not evil - you will find he will love it! How old is he?

I went back fulltime between my babies so DS was 1 when he started and he loved it. The first 2 weeks were a nightmare thou so be prepared for that.

He cried when Ieft and I cried my way to work for the first week (so remember to take your makeup in the car for touch ups before work). The second week he still cried but by then I had worked out that he atually only cried for about 2 mins and then was quite happy.

Good Luck and you will honestly enjoy your time at work and appreciate the time with your wee man more. ]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:53:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968075&title=working-mother-guilts#968075 <![CDATA[Working mother guilts... : So, I&#039;ve just realised it...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968068&title=working-mother-guilts#968068 Author: Bexee
Subject: 32263
Posted: 15 March 2010 at 7:47am

So, I've just realised it is only 8 weeks until I go back to work three days a week...

Last night I had a massive guilt trip thinking what if he doesn't sleep at daycare, what if they don't persist in getting a bottle into him (he's not an easy feeder!), what if the other kids pick on him, what if, what if, what if???

Can someone please reassure me that daycare isn't all evil and that I'm not the worst mum in the world for going back!]]> Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:47:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32263&PID=968068&title=working-mother-guilts#968068