https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Wed, 06 May 2026 09:46:04 +0000 Sun, 02 May 2010 20:22:59 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=32842 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=1013826&title=time-to-go-to-dr#1013826 Author: jano1
Subject: 32842
Posted: 02 May 2010 at 8:22pm

First of all it's a tough job being a new mum.

You'd be surprised how many people feel the way you do, I really struggled for the first 4 or so months with DD. She too was a bit of a shocking sleeper during the day and I used to get so wound up about it. I was scared to go out, in case it disrupted her sleep so ended up staying home a lot. I cried a lot and struggled with the transition (and the dependency of a newborn).

Now on the other side (she is 14months) I found talking to friends really valuable (those with young children) about how difficult I felt it was. Verbalising seemed to make me feel normal again IYKWIM.

Definitely talk to your Dr if you think that will help.

As others have said, it will get better and it does get easier with time and your confidence as a mother will also be boosted.

]]> Sun, 02 May 2010 20:22:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=1013826&title=time-to-go-to-dr#1013826 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=1012297&title=time-to-go-to-dr#1012297 Author: amykt
Subject: 32842
Posted: 30 April 2010 at 9:31pm

Jackie, huge to you. As a few others have said, I could have written what you have said word for word as well! I often feel totally overwhelmed and wonder whether I was actually ready to have a baby. Before bubs was born I was a perfectionist in everything that I did and I expected the same high expectations of myself being a mum. But it was so different than I expected and there is nothing that you can do to 'control' a baby - you can try your best to do all the right things but at the end of the day they have a mind of their own. I still get quite stressed when DS doesn't fit into the 'routine' that I think he should be fitting into.

In fact, just the other night I had a crying session with DH - I told him that I felt like a failure as a mother because I wasn't enjoying it and I felt like DS deserved a mother that actually enjoyed being with him and caring for him I felt really guilty about the way I was feeling.

What makes it worse is that I find people don't really talk about how hard it is to be a Mum so that makes me feel like even more of a failure!

But I think at the end of the day, a lot of us struggle and this forum is so great to realise you're not alone.

For your own peace of mind, I'd go to the Docs and just have a chat. He may be able to put your mind at rest and inform you of any help that is out there should you need it.

Let us know how you get on xxx]]> Fri, 30 Apr 2010 21:31:34 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=1012297&title=time-to-go-to-dr#1012297 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=998402&title=time-to-go-to-dr#998402 Author: E&L+1
Subject: 32842
Posted: 16 April 2010 at 4:18pm

First of all

I could've almost written your post word for word! My DD pretty much turned into a different baby at 3 months. I was finding myself crying everyday sometimes more than once. DD would be crying and I'd cry with her. I felt like a failure as a Mum but was too scared to show that to anyone else.

My turning point was when DD was diagnosed with silent reflux 2 weeks ago, since then things have gotten better and better. I haven't cried since Monday! I think for me sleep deprivation (not only was she not sleeping during the day but not sleeping at night either) was playing havoc and when I went to family centre last week I was told that I was borderline PND and if I was still feeling like this in a week to go see my Dr.

PND or not it sounds like you could do with some support other than family. Is there a family centre in your area? Even though DD is older will your plunket nurse do a home visit around about when she goes down for a nap? For me just going to family centre for 2 days made all the difference.
Hope your feeling better soon so that you can enjoy that lovely little girl of yours.]]> Fri, 16 Apr 2010 16:18:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=998402&title=time-to-go-to-dr#998402 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=997565&title=time-to-go-to-dr#997565 Author: mummytobesep08
Subject: 32842
Posted: 15 April 2010 at 7:59pm

Hey there- first of all a for you cuz it sounds like you need one!

I think some of these feelings are very normal. Having a new baby brings up so many feelings, not all of them nice, for 99% of new mums. BUT what I think sometimes changes things from 'normal'/healthy, to PND can be the frequency of these hard time. For instance, having breakdowns every now in these early months would is probably normal, and crying with your baby every now and then is too. But if this is happening more than, say weekly, it might be a sign that things aren't quite right. Have a look at:
http://www.mothersmatter.co.nz/Post-Natal-Depression/Have-I-got-it.asp
It's just one way of seeing if what you are feeling might be depression. If it is, head off to your doc. You certainly don't have anything to lose by doing so either way in fact. No-one will judge your mothering...if they do, they shouldn't be a doctor!

And keep looking on here for more stories. You might recognise some things in other people's versions of PND that make you think 'hey that sounds similar'...and of course, come across some tips!

Hang in there
PND or not, it's still early days with bubs. Things WILL get better!]]> Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:59:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=997565&title=time-to-go-to-dr#997565 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=996280&title=time-to-go-to-dr#996280 Author: WestiesGirl
Subject: 32842
Posted: 14 April 2010 at 5:21pm

I had exactly the same problems too with my DS. Jackson was the perfect baby until 9 weeks old then something happened (we put it down to my milk supply in the end cos he wasnt gaining weight) and he started cat napping sometimes sleeping only 20 minutes during the day. And like your bubs, would result in a very cranky baby. But would then sleep from 7pm to 5am over night. This continued to 4 months old, but then he changed from having bad day sleeps to waking 2 - 3 times during the night. Thankfully that stopped at 6 months.

I am also someone that likes routine, albeit, we dont have a routine as such, but we do do the same things around the same time of the day each day. I just go with the flow, its easier that way.

Just from what you have put about how you feel I think you should go to the Dr. Even if its not PND at least you will feel better about having spoken to someone about it.

Let us know how you get on ]]> Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:21:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=996280&title=time-to-go-to-dr#996280 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=995961&title=time-to-go-to-dr#995961 Author: myfullhouse
Subject: 32842
Posted: 14 April 2010 at 11:21am

You seem to be feeling and having alot of the same issues that I had with Jack and I think I had PND back then although I wasn't officially diagnosed until about 6mths ago. I even started working from home when Jack was 3mths old to try and get back some of my old life but it just made things worse.

You may not have PND or you might, either way I would suggest going and having a chat with your GP about it and see if they can help you. I know that it is easier said than done but try not to feel guilty about your feelings, you love your DD and care enough about both of you to be on here rying to get answers.

Good luck!]]> Wed, 14 Apr 2010 11:21:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=995961&title=time-to-go-to-dr#995961 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=995873&title=time-to-go-to-dr#995873 Author: flakesitchyfeet
Subject: 32842
Posted: 14 April 2010 at 10:03am

Reading and running for now, will be back!
Very normal, yet I'd still go to the doctor too. As soon as my daughter is asleep I'll come in and write you a wee reply ]]> Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:03:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=995873&title=time-to-go-to-dr#995873 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=995856&title=time-to-go-to-dr#995856 Author: firstimemum
Subject: 32842
Posted: 14 April 2010 at 9:49am

Hi, I'm new here, but just really need to write how I'm feeling and get some opinions!

My daughter is 5 months old. The first 3 months she was a dream baby, starting sleeping through at about 8 weeks old and slept well during the day. Then at 3 months old she just started taking 40min sleeps during the day, resulting in a grumpy tired baby most of the day. I thought I was doing really well, but lately I've had the odd day where I just wake up thinking 'I don't want to do this today'. I'm a 'routine' kind of person and at the moment I feel so confused due to her sleeping habits. I don't know whether I should put her down, keep her up or what. Some days I'm fine and will just go with the flow and cope with her crying, other days I just want to run away!

I feel so bad for feeling like this. On the bad days I also don't have those maternal instincts AT ALL. I often think I can't do this again with a second and often think I just want the one child. I also feel really bad about this as I would love her to have a little brother or sister. Hubby is rearing to go to get started on the next one at the end of this year!

Some days I despise hubby going off to work. I'm terrible at staying at home with the same four walls day in day out. It's hard to go out with her as she doesn't sleep well, therefore usually screams in the car or pram. My husband's family live close by and are good support, however it's only my Dad who lives near us and, well, my relationship with him is not exactly close. Our family have never been ones to 'open up' with our feelings, so it's hard for me to do.

Some days I find myself thinking I can't wait for her to grow up so we can actually go out and do things. At the moment we're just staying home at the weekends. On the days we have been to visit people, she has screamed the place down which is very stressful and doesn't make it enjoyable at all.
I know I should be enjoying these first few months, but I'm not at all........I also feel really bad about this.

I find myself missing my old life of work and being able to get out and about. I've found the transition from my 'old life' to my new life extremely hard.

So with all of this happening, some days I just cry for some of the day, made even worse when she won't sleep. I don't get angry with her, just frustrated sometimes, but more upset than anything. We've had many a day with her in my arms, her crying, me crying etc etc
My mood is so up and down, I'm fine when around other people, but on my own i just sometimes breakdown. Although I have 'broken down' a couple of times in front of hubby. He's asked if I'm ok, and I've told him sometimes I just want to do something different.

Oops, sorry for such a long post!! Just needed to get it all out there.
Forgot to say I also feel really tired during the day, even though she's still sleeping through and I often wake up with headaches.
So are these just normal first time mum feelings, or should I be going to see a Dr?]]> Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:49:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32842&PID=995856&title=time-to-go-to-dr#995856