OHbaby! Forums : Home Birth https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Wed, 08 Apr 2026 08:07:21 +0000 Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:28:44 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=34947 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Home Birth : I would get your MW to have a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1114730&title=home-birth#1114730 Author: Guests
Subject: 34947
Posted: 31 July 2010 at 4:28pm

I would get your MW to have a sit down with him, one on one if needs be.

DH was totally against it for all the same reasons and once the MW had explained what happens and we put in place a plan if anything should go wrong he came round ( he had no choice really )

I had a home waterbirth and it was the best experience. You just feel so empowered. Theres nothing like being in your own home it just feels ''right'' I was the first person to touch and hold my baby . And showering in your own shower is amazing.

As for mess, DH used a pump to drain the pool and there was a load or two of towels and such.   The MW takes it all away anyways.

We have a 'spot' too. Right by the couch from when I stood up after the first BF . I won't have it cleaned either



]]> Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:28:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1114730&title=home-birth#1114730 <![CDATA[Home Birth : I guess some men are more squeamish...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1114140&title=home-birth#1114140 Author: HippyMama
Subject: 34947
Posted: 30 July 2010 at 6:21pm

I guess some men are more squeamish than others but really, birth is pretty mucky - and I can still see my 'spot' on the carpet in the bedroom, I refuse to let DH or anyone else clean it! (It gets vacuumed, but yeah, that's it!) ]]> Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:21:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1114140&title=home-birth#1114140 <![CDATA[Home Birth : im sorry , I just had to laugh...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113909&title=home-birth#1113909 Author: TheKelly
Subject: 34947
Posted: 30 July 2010 at 2:51pm

im sorry , I just had to laugh at your DH Nicola , typical man huh , geez they think of random things !
"I don't want to be sitting on the spot where the baby was born "
haha !! that would never have occurred to me , guys ! oh bless them ! ]]> Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:51:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113909&title=home-birth#1113909 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Hi Nicola, I managed to convince...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113719&title=home-birth#1113719 Author: Marama
Subject: 34947
Posted: 30 July 2010 at 12:14pm

Hi Nicola, I managed to convince my DP to have a HB for our first baby due in November, after he was initially lukewarm on the idea.

I think a couple of things helped.

First, I found lots of good info on the homebirth website including studies that showed that HBs can often be safer than hosp births because they don't involve unnecessary (and sometimes dangerous) interventions.

2nd, we went for a tour of the hospital (no birthing centres in our area) and he really didn't like the clinical, brightly lit feel of the maternity ward. and as others have mentioned, when we saw the post-natal rooms with just one bed it really hit home to us that we would be separated on our first night of being a family, which really felt wrong to both of us.

Then, at our most recent visit with our MW we had a long talk about hospital transfers incl in what circumstances she would recommend a transfer, and what 'emergencies' she is equipped to deal with at home. Hearing that there woud be 2 midwives present helped reassure us both too.

I got some useful advice on this forum when I asked about HBs
here

anyway, best of luck in talking to your partner about it and also for having a successful home birth!]]> Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:14:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113719&title=home-birth#1113719 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Nicola_1975 wrote: I think...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113424&title=home-birth#1113424 Author: fadeless
Subject: 34947
Posted: 30 July 2010 at 8:11am

Originally posted by Nicola_1975 Nicola_1975 wrote:



I think this is exactly where he is coming from. Thank you all for your advice. We will have a sit down and work out what we each want and probably get MW in to talk to us both again.


It would have been a good idea to go to homebirth classes, they can be really helpful (especially for your hubby) but i dont know if you would be able to get in because you are so close to having bubs or even have any in your area.]]> Fri, 30 Jul 2010 08:11:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113424&title=home-birth#1113424 <![CDATA[Home Birth : I really love how fadeless got...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113091&title=home-birth#1113091 Author: High9
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 8:13pm

I really love how fadeless got that time with her OH and the baby after the birth, Lily was born at 8pm and within the hour I was showered and wheeled off to my room and dp had to leave right away because visiting hours finished so he didn't get to see dd properly until the next day! ]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:13:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113091&title=home-birth#1113091 <![CDATA[Home Birth : fadeless wrote: Lots of guys...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113050&title=home-birth#1113050 Author: Nicola_1975
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 7:50pm

Originally posted by fadeless fadeless wrote:



Lots of guys like to know that everything is safe and that things that can go wrong can be managed etc.


I think this is exactly where he is coming from. Thank you all for your advice. We will have a sit down and work out what we each want and probably get MW in to talk to us both again.]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:50:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113050&title=home-birth#1113050 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Awww, that&#039;s sad lil-lease...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113042&title=home-birth#1113042 Author: kakapo
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 7:47pm

Awww, that's sad lil-lease .  Hope you still get to have a natural, drug-free experience in hospital.

Nicola, have you been in touch with the Southland homebirth association?  They should be able to help - perhaps they could put you in touch with a few of the fathers who have already experienced home birth, and your DH could have a chat with them?

]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:47:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1113042&title=home-birth#1113042 <![CDATA[Home Birth : I would so love to have a home...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112861&title=home-birth#1112861 Author: lil_lease
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 5:16pm

I would so love to have a home birth. No-one will go for it though because I'm high risk. I'm not even 500m away from the hospital and still no-one would go for it. ]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:16:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112861&title=home-birth#1112861 <![CDATA[Home Birth : HippyMama wrote: fadeless...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112428&title=home-birth#1112428 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 10:51am

Originally posted by HippyMama HippyMama wrote:

Originally posted by fadeless fadeless wrote:

but it is your body, your birth choice and well he just has to deal with it if you feel you want to stay at home. (That is what i would have told my DP if he didnt want me to homebirth).


That was my stance too - thankfully it didn't come to that, he had a couple of good long talks with my midwife and came away much more reassured and totally on board.


My argument with this is that it's his baby as well and if you want him to be a full support to you, then he needs to be comfortable with the process - e.g. if I knew my DH was completely freaking, that would stress me, but I would want him there so would rather be somewhere that he wasn't freaking so he could support me IYKWIM. But that's just my take on the birth thing (and I don't mean to turn it into a debate - only you know what's best for you and your DH and baby)

I like the other's ideas of getting the MW involved to talk with him. You have some time on your side and I would think that the argument the hospital's 5 minutes up the road should help! And I love the quote about the MW being the one to leave, not him.

ETA - it would be interesting to know where his view is coming from - while his arguments sound pretty weak TBH, is there fear underlying it? Lots of guys like to know that everything is safe and that things that can go wrong can be managed etc.

Edited by Flissty]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:51:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112428&title=home-birth#1112428 <![CDATA[Home Birth : fadeless wrote:but it is your...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112407&title=home-birth#1112407 Author: HippyMama
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 10:30am

Originally posted by fadeless fadeless wrote:

but it is your body, your birth choice and well he just has to deal with it if you feel you want to stay at home. (That is what i would have told my DP if he didnt want me to homebirth).


That was my stance too - thankfully it didn't come to that, he had a couple of good long talks with my midwife and came away much more reassured and totally on board.]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:30:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112407&title=home-birth#1112407 <![CDATA[Home Birth : I suggest you get him to read...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112405&title=home-birth#1112405 Author: HippyMama
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 10:28am

I suggest you get him to read this link if you can:

http://www.homebirth.net.au/2008/04/this-brilliant-article-was-written-by.html

The actual title is "Secrets of a Homebirth Dad"... and one of the points I like the most is where he says:

Quote "If you only remember one of these secrets, make sure it’s this one. At the end of a home birth, the midwifes leave. Not you. This is the way it should be. In a hospital, you will be torn away from you newborn child and your exhausted wife at the very peak of your emotional vulnerability."


Homebirth isn't scary. Homebirth isn't messy either - we had one plastic supermarket bag of rubbish at the end of it all (my birth with DD2), and one 'extra' load of laundry that I didn't even have to do myself

When it was all said and done, I was sitting in *my* lounge, with my family, friends and midwife, drinking tea from my own mug, eating my own food, and then got to have a shower in *my* bathroom - I was so much more comfortable and at ease than I was after the hospital birth I'd had with DD1.

There is so much more that I could go on about, and my DH wasn't easy to 'convince' either - but it was well worth the effort in the end!]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:28:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112405&title=home-birth#1112405 <![CDATA[Home Birth : I think I want one as well. But...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112295&title=home-birth#1112295 Author: amme_eilyk
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 8:54am

I think I want one as well. But I would do it at my parents house where I grew up, so I feel really safe there. They also have large spa bath in their ensuite with shower toilet etc, so I would just camp in there for most of the birth. I think dh would be sold pretty easily as he hates hospitals and I find that it stresses me out cause I know that he is stressed. Also my parents is 5 mins from the hospital so an easy trip if necessary.]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:54:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112295&title=home-birth#1112295 <![CDATA[Home Birth : DH and Mum were my support people...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112267&title=home-birth#1112267 Author: Kellz
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 8:25am

DH and Mum were my support people and they both werent sold on the idea but knew it was what I wanted, and knew it would help me to stay more relaxed if I was in my own enviornment after having a horrible hospital birth with #1. I set up a meeting with the midwife and Dh and Mum, so they could hear from here about homebirths, and what would havppen if problems occured etc. They were both happier after talking to her about it all.]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:25:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112267&title=home-birth#1112267 <![CDATA[Home Birth : My DH was not into the idea to...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112241&title=home-birth#1112241 Author: newme
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 8:02am

My DH was not into the idea to begin with, but I found a lot of easy to read material about the benefits of homebirth and now he is totally into it.
Maybe tell him that it will be much better for him too - that if he needs a break he can just go and make something to eat and watch TV.
]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:02:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112241&title=home-birth#1112241 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Lil_Nic9 wrote:Omg, fadeless...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112234&title=home-birth#1112234 Author: fadeless
Subject: 34947
Posted: 29 July 2010 at 7:55am

Originally posted by Lil_Nic9 Lil_Nic9 wrote:

Omg, fadeless you may have just convinced me!!!


Hehe the more the merrier :D]]> Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:55:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112234&title=home-birth#1112234 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Omg, fadeless you may have just...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112052&title=home-birth#1112052 Author: High9
Subject: 34947
Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:50pm

Omg, fadeless you may have just convinced me!!! ]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:50:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112052&title=home-birth#1112052 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Homebirthing is absolutely fantastic....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112040&title=home-birth#1112040 Author: fadeless
Subject: 34947
Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:40pm

Homebirthing is absolutely fantastic. My first was a c/s then i had a very medical VBAC so chose to have a homebirth with my 3rd. After DS was born my DP said that was the best birth, more relaxed and he felt he could be more of a support being in our own home and he was also more comfortable and i was also. Our midwife was so wonderful and so supportive and knew when to step back and let us have our moments. With our hospital births DP didnt get to stay afterwards he was pretty much kicked out. At home after our DS was born (he was born at 12.43am) i got to have a shower in my shower and we got to go to bed together in our own bed and i woke up in the morning to DP and DS curled up together it was amazing!

I dont know how you are going to convince your DH to have a homebirth but it is your body, your birth choice and well he just has to deal with it if you feel you want to stay at home. (That is what i would have told my DP if he didnt want me to homebirth).

Edited by fadeless]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:40:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112040&title=home-birth#1112040 <![CDATA[Home Birth : I really wanted a homebirth, but...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112022&title=home-birth#1112022 Author: JadeC
Subject: 34947
Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:26pm

I really wanted a homebirth, but unfortunately that won't be happening for me.

My reasons were around being in my own space, having everything I want right there, no random people around, not having to rush off anywhere. The thing that sold me was someone talking about their midwife tucking all 3 of them (Mum, Dad and baby) up in their bed and quietly slipping out the door afterwards, I thought that sounded like heaven.]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:26:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1112022&title=home-birth#1112022 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Go for it! If you were half a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1111997&title=home-birth#1111997 Author: AandCsmum
Subject: 34947
Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:02pm

Go for it! If you were half a hour from the hospital I'd say no but if you are comfortable with it & feel safe with the whole idea & are super close to the hospital it's a valid option.

Get the MW to talk to him about mess & clean up. That is what he might be worried about.]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:02:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1111997&title=home-birth#1111997 <![CDATA[Home Birth : Maybe draw up the pros and cons...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1111980&title=home-birth#1111980 Author: High9
Subject: 34947
Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:57pm

Maybe draw up the pros and cons for it and try sell it to him, get your LMC to have a chat too? Explain why you really want it and are sold on the idea GL! Hope he comes round!]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:57:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1111980&title=home-birth#1111980 <![CDATA[Home Birth : How do I convince DH that home...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1111962&title=home-birth#1111962 Author: Nicola_1975
Subject: 34947
Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:44pm

How do I convince DH that home birth is a good idea? After talking with my LMC last week I'm pretty sold on the idea. We had DS1 at a birthing centre with no complications or pain relief so I'm pretty confident we could do it. DH wants to go to the birthing centre again as "that is what it's for" and "I don't want to be sitting on spot on the floor where the baby was born". The birthing centre is a half hour drive away and our local hospital is 5 minutes away. Any suggestions?]]> Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:44:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34947&PID=1111962&title=home-birth#1111962