OHbaby! Forums : Would you be upset?

OHbaby! Forums : Would you be upset? https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Wed, 08 Apr 2026 21:32:28 +0000 Sun, 03 Oct 2010 19:52:56 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=36046 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : If you are a close family then...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1168407&title=would-you-be-upset#1168407 Author: myfullhouse
Subject: 36046
Posted: 03 October 2010 at 7:52pm

If you are a close family then yes I would be upset especially as they live so close. They can't all be sick. I am sure that he could come on his own if his wife and/or kids were sick, or at least asked if you were ok with him visiting or not due to their sickness]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 19:52:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1168407&title=would-you-be-upset#1168407 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : Carnelian wrote:Thanks for...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1168279&title=would-you-be-upset#1168279 Author: jazzy
Subject: 36046
Posted: 03 October 2010 at 4:32pm

Carnelian wrote:

Thanks for all your replies girls

I think I mostly feel sad because I worked so hard to have my boys. Both are IVF and I had troublesome pregnancies, we nearly lost both and then both were born 7 weeks early, so they are real miracle babies. They know all this but still no effort has been made.

I guess I just have to let it go. I've made contact a few times and no effort from them so I'll just try and not take it personally.

knowing that...it would upset me if they did not visit.

Maybe do an invite...meet the baby bring a plate...

eta sp

Edited by jazzy]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 16:32:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1168279&title=would-you-be-upset#1168279 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : If your baby was prem and they...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1168160&title=would-you-be-upset#1168160 Author: jaz
Subject: 36046
Posted: 03 October 2010 at 10:35am

If your baby was prem and they have had coughs and colds they are probably staying away for health reasons. Might be a good idea to invite them over for an afternoon tea/meet the baby now that you are settled. Life with a 5 yo and 10yo is pretty busy and its easy for the weeks to slip past. ]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 10:35:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1168160&title=would-you-be-upset#1168160 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : Thanks for all your replies girls...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167852&title=would-you-be-upset#1167852 Author: Carnelian
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 7:29pm

Thanks for all your replies girls

]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 19:29:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167852&title=would-you-be-upset#1167852 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : hmmm yes that would really hack...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167797&title=would-you-be-upset#1167797 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 6:07pm

hmmm yes that would really hack me off, but my brothers and I are all really close and they all came to see me at hospital when I had the kids.
]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 18:07:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167797&title=would-you-be-upset#1167797 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : Not something that bothered me,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167746&title=would-you-be-upset#1167746 Author: jazzy
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 4:12pm

Not something that bothered me, my family don't live near anyway. My brother saw DS1 at hospital as they were passing through & saw DS2 when he was a few mths old but had not seen him till last week so he meet DS3 for the first time & he is 4yr. We talk on the ph & are planning a catch up next yr when he & sil are up.

DH's brother & wife had a baby & we never saw her till she was about 9mths. I made a few attempts to visit as we lived in the country & I had to drive to the city in the weekend to work, but never caught up, & I guess that had a lot to do with not being invited or set times made. I do wish I had made more of an effort. They saw DS3 when he was a couple of weeks old as they were invited to DH's b'day...they live 5min walk & had an open invite to come over any time when I was home from hospital....but never did.]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 16:12:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167746&title=would-you-be-upset#1167746 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : I would be really upset, but then...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167740&title=would-you-be-upset#1167740 Author: nicandtyler
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 3:47pm

I would be really upset, but then i'm insanely close with my 3 sisters so they were all with me when I gave birth lol, but yea especially as you say he lives so close, he should have been to see you and bubs and you have every right to feel the way you do, although I do agree he wouldn't be doing it to upset you and may have just not thought about it, but hopefully him and his wife see sense and make the trip to see you otherwise he is going to miss out on those special early days

]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 15:47:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167740&title=would-you-be-upset#1167740 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : I would be upset. But maybe...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167670&title=would-you-be-upset#1167670 Author: pikelets
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 12:53pm

I would be upset.

But maybe he is just not being very thoughtful, not that he is deliberately trying to hurt you.

Have you told him you feel upset?]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 12:53:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167670&title=would-you-be-upset#1167670 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : I think it would depend on the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167646&title=would-you-be-upset#1167646 Author: kebakat
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 12:00pm

I think it would depend on the day how I felt.

My brother surprisingly came and visited me in hospital with Daniel which I was dumb founded by cause I didn't expect it but he has pretty much no time for him now.]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 12:00:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167646&title=would-you-be-upset#1167646 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : I'd be really upset if my...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167640&title=would-you-be-upset#1167640 Author: myonlineself
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 11:55am

I'd be really upset if my brother did that - but he took time off work specifically to come and see our baby as soon as she was born...

I'd just talk to him - can you ring him up and say "hey, we'd really love for you to come and meet xx, does x day suit?"

]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 11:55:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167640&title=would-you-be-upset#1167640 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : Fair enough then carnelian I'd...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167620&title=would-you-be-upset#1167620 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 11:25am

Fair enough then carnelian I'd be a bit miffed too, maybe they're simply not interested.

I don't have much of a relationship with my brother him not coming to see our baby wouldn't surprise me.

Maybe there simply not interested, sad but hey families can be like that.
]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 11:25:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167620&title=would-you-be-upset#1167620 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : Yes and no.... i would probably...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167602&title=would-you-be-upset#1167602 Author: MyLilSquishy
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 10:42am

Yes and no.... i would probably tell myself that he is keeping his family away while they are sick because of the prem status... but at the same time, a phoone call, text or even store bought card with "love your bro" on it would be better than no contact. he could also just be thinking "new baby, everyone will be visiting, let them have their space" and just hasnt clicked that its ohk to visit... i would tx or ring him and says its ok to come round and go from there

]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 10:42:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167602&title=would-you-be-upset#1167602 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : I probably should have added I...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167594&title=would-you-be-upset#1167594 Author: Carnelian
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 10:23am

I probably should have added I have called twice and text a couple of times too.
I think what annoys me the most is that his wife made the excuse of how sick she was so they couldn't come lately but then I saw on facebook after that weekend that her status update was "I hate hangovers on a Monday".
So how sick was she? Obviously not too sick to get drunk......]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 10:23:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167594&title=would-you-be-upset#1167594 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : DP has the same problem, his brother...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167584&title=would-you-be-upset#1167584 Author: Babykatnz
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 10:10am

DP has the same problem, his brother and SIL never came and visited once when Jae was first born, the only time his brother has even LOOKED at her is when we stop in at his work, and his wife STILL hasnt looked at her once. They dont have the excuse of sick kids etc as her daughter is grown up and doesnt live with them.

It hurt him a lot as this was something everyone knew we had struggled to get, and while MIL was thrilled to bits right up until she passed away, they just didnt care. He's finally coming to terms with the fact that an important part of his family doesnt want to share in our hapiness, but it still hurts a lot.

I dont think you are overreacting at all. I could understand holding off while bubs was still prem, but now that hes past full-term dates, surely it should be life as per usual now?]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 10:10:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167584&title=would-you-be-upset#1167584 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : Why don't you ring him or...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167570&title=would-you-be-upset#1167570 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 9:49am

Why don't you ring him or send him a text suggesting he come and visit. Maybe he doesn't know that he can with having a premie. Men aren't the sharpest and sometimes they need to be told or encouraged as to what to do.
With his kids having a run of winter ills staying away from your little guy isn't a bad thing.]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 09:49:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167570&title=would-you-be-upset#1167570 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : No it wouldn't upset me overly,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167560&title=would-you-be-upset#1167560 Author: Emmecat
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 9:40am

No it wouldn't upset me overly, but then my brother and I aren't overly close iykwim? It might annoy me slightly I guess and yeah social ettiquete at least would call for a cursory visit of some kind but maybe he's busy or worried about coming to see bubs when he is so little and his family have been crook....argh I'm not sure, it's so hard to know what other people are thinking!

Is there any way you could call or text him and just ask him outright? He may not be meaning to hurt your feelings, he might just be thoughtless (no offense).

]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 09:40:30 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167560&title=would-you-be-upset#1167560 <![CDATA[Would you be upset? : Hi everyone Just wondering if...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167538&title=would-you-be-upset#1167538 Author: Carnelian
Subject: 36046
Posted: 02 October 2010 at 9:12am

Hi everyone

Just wondering if this would upset you guys?
My baby was born prem (almost 7 weeks) on 21 July. He was due 4 September.

I am fairly close with my family and we all live within an hour of each other. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister. We all have kids of our own.
So, my baby is now over 10 weeks old and my brother and his wife haven't even been to see him

This particular brother lives less than 15 minutes from me.
Yes, they have kids of their own. 10years and 5 years and they all have had a run of coughs and colds but I feel really sad that they haven't been to even meet him.
My brother rung while I was in hospital to say congratulations but we weren't home so he left a message so basically I have had nothing, no conversation, no card, no visit or anything.....

Would this upset you or am I over-reacting. All of my other family have been to visit as have alot of friends.

Edited by Carnelian]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 09:12:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36046&PID=1167538&title=would-you-be-upset#1167538