https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Mon, 06 Apr 2026 02:53:27 +0000 Mon, 18 Oct 2010 09:38:45 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=36093 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1179390&title=manners#1179390 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 36093
Posted: 18 October 2010 at 9:38am

Good on Ryan!

Dan's just started saying "thank you" for everything - often the louder the better "THANK YOU MUMMY" - always cracks us up!]]> Mon, 18 Oct 2010 09:38:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1179390&title=manners#1179390 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1179214&title=manners#1179214 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 36093
Posted: 17 October 2010 at 8:37pm

naww thats so cute Lisa, Ryans is really good with his words anyways, so yea just keep saying it at thr appropriate times and he will pick it up.

Caden hands me his plate and drink bottle etc now as well and says ta! :)
Off topic but - He put his own rubbish in the bin today! I was very shocked! Clever boy :D]]> Sun, 17 Oct 2010 20:37:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1179214&title=manners#1179214 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1177751&title=manners#1177751 Author: MrsH23
Subject: 36093
Posted: 15 October 2010 at 1:42am

Thanks for the advice everyone. I've eased up a bit with it, just making sure I use my manners with him all the time and have noticed that he'll often hand me things and say thank you (in his own little way) which is really cute. He even puts his fork on his plate when he's finished dinner and hands it to me saying ta!]]> Fri, 15 Oct 2010 01:42:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1177751&title=manners#1177751 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1177733&title=manners#1177733 Author: kriss
Subject: 36093
Posted: 14 October 2010 at 11:09pm

My girl is 22 months, and has been saying Pease & Fantoo for about 6 months. She even says No Fantoo, Dink Pease Mummy etc.

As suggested above, I just consistently phrased the sentence she should use, and she copied me. Now, if she doesn't say please or thank you I say 'Use your manners please Ash' and she will say it.

I think you are on the right track with starting to teach your boy manners, it will take time & consistency, if he hears it all the time then he will learn the words and begin to say them.

That's what worked for us anyway

All the best! x]]> Thu, 14 Oct 2010 23:09:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1177733&title=manners#1177733 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1177633&title=manners#1177633 Author: Manda23
Subject: 36093
Posted: 14 October 2010 at 8:43pm

DD has learnt to say please and thank you, but it did take a long time. I think just saying it all the time yourself and reminding them to say it helps a lot- it's what I did! :)]]> Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:43:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1177633&title=manners#1177633 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1171804&title=manners#1171804 Author: mummyofprinces
Subject: 36093
Posted: 07 October 2010 at 6:22pm

Gosh Jake isnt even speaking yet let alone on command!

We just say please, thank you, ta etc at the appropriate place and figure he will say it in his own time....

He has said Ta twice LOL]]> Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:22:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1171804&title=manners#1171804 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1171576&title=manners#1171576 Author: kiwisj
Subject: 36093
Posted: 07 October 2010 at 2:59pm

I guess we are similar to kiwikid, we have been saying "ta" or "thank you" to Callum when he gives us things or we give him things for ages, I think since before he was 1. One of his first recognisable words (to other people) was thank you, which was very cute! At 22 months C will say thank you unprompted fairly regularly, but not all the time. We now encourage him to say things like "help please" or "down please" when he needs something or wants to get down from the table. He is good at parroting this back and will come to me and take my hand and say "help please" on occasion too.

I don't think he recognises these phrases as "manners" as such, it's just what we've taught him to say in certain situations IYGWIM. As he gets older hopefully he will understand the why as well as the fact that we expect him to say these things.

Agree with not forcing it at all at this age, it's just modelling what you want to happen and then encouraging/praising when they do it.

We have recently (around 18m, but based on C's language skills rather than his age) started saying, "use your words please" when he whinges to get down from the table. I don't mind what he tries to say, but I do expect an attempt rather than just "eh eh eh" because he knows better ]]> Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:59:14 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1171576&title=manners#1171576 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170979&title=manners#1170979 Author: kiwikid
Subject: 36093
Posted: 06 October 2010 at 8:23pm

I guess I go slightly against the trend here but Hayden was saying please / ta consistently from around 18mths, less consistently for at least a few months before that.

We did start off with baby sign language at an early age (9mths) so from early on he had a comprension, also started with Ta when we gave him something, progressed to Thank You around 18mths.

However I wouldnt force the issue or expect (ie get grumpy if he didnt use them) at that age, I do now however at 2yrs 2mths (not grumpy LOL but do expect manners).

Use your manners consistently, make it fun and praise loads when he uses his, if you are giving him something prompt with 'what do we say when we are given something, we say Thank You Mummy' (or words to effect of) or 'what do we say when we would like something, we say Please Mummy' all in a light fun voice not school mistress ha ha.

You dont need a book or anything, just make it part of everything you do, thank him for putting toys away or for passing your something or sharing a raisin etc etc

ETA now he is out of highchair and sitting at the table we are learning 'what do we say when we'd like to get down from the table. we say Excuse Me Please' sometimes i have to put my hand on his arm or kind of block him from getting straight down and prompt him with what I said above and then he remembers to say it. If he refused (hasnt really ever cos its not a punishment or anything) I wouldnt force the matter, just repeat what you expect him to say later on.

Edited by kiwikid]]> Wed, 06 Oct 2010 20:23:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170979&title=manners#1170979 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170403&title=manners#1170403 Author: kebakat
Subject: 36093
Posted: 06 October 2010 at 9:25am

We didn't even really bother with manners (as in saying please and thank you) before he was 2 and 1/2. We waited until he had a proper grasp of language so he knew why he was saying it rather than just saying it because he knows he has to.]]> Wed, 06 Oct 2010 09:25:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170403&title=manners#1170403 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170392&title=manners#1170392 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 36093
Posted: 06 October 2010 at 9:19am

Yip, Dan's just started with please in the last 3 months, and thank you in the last two weeks. Most of the time he needs to be prompted but he's starting to do it more spontaneously. It's so cute when he says "thank you mummy" without prompting

We are a lot more aware of how *we* ask him to do things - we realised we were not particularly good at saying please and thank you so are working on our own manners ]]> Wed, 06 Oct 2010 09:19:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170392&title=manners#1170392 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170285&title=manners#1170285 Author: kabe
Subject: 36093
Posted: 06 October 2010 at 7:24am

I think he's too young to be expected to say those words unprompted. Like others have said, he'll learn through observation and through imitating you. My DD will now say please and thanks without prompting but she's nearly three. We don't make a big deal about it and give her lots of +ve reinforcement for nice manners.

If you're interested in reading about how kids learn, read up on Social learning Theory, as that's the basic premise. There's quite alot on the internet ]]> Wed, 06 Oct 2010 07:24:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170285&title=manners#1170285 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170239&title=manners#1170239 Author: Shezamumof3
Subject: 36093
Posted: 05 October 2010 at 10:11pm

Lisa he will get there Caden is still learning some manners but he now says thank you and ta, and when I say "what do you say" he goes "I says" lol - cute

Ryan is still young, so just keep saying "please" and "Thank you" etc everytime you take him out and when you give him something etc etc and he will soon learn that he needs to say it. They learn by copying.

with Caden, I always say to him "ta" before I give him something, and he says it back, and if I want him to say thank you, i do the same, but he often says thank you by himself now.

Edited by Sheza]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 22:11:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170239&title=manners#1170239 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170202&title=manners#1170202 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 36093
Posted: 05 October 2010 at 9:27pm

its all about copying you - if you use manners to him he will use them back... and if you want him to say please when you get him out of the highchair say it to him first - i think he is too young as well, but he will eventually get what you want.]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 21:27:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170202&title=manners#1170202 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170172&title=manners#1170172 Author: whitewave
Subject: 36093
Posted: 05 October 2010 at 9:01pm

Campbell can't even say those words yet!

Perhaps don't try to force Ryan to say please and thankyou yet, just praise him when he does say the words, and he'll get the idea eventually.
]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 21:01:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170172&title=manners#1170172 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170158&title=manners#1170158 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 36093
Posted: 05 October 2010 at 8:46pm

I think at 18 months you are asking abit much really.

Just make sure your manners are ok and they will copy in their own time. I have also found that my 3 year old who is really good with his manners most of the time won't say it when asked, he just clams up, especially if it's to someone he doesn't know or doesn't know well. My 21 month old I dont' even expect to use manners, he does sometimes and other times he doesn't, I won't be asking him to for some time yet, cos I'm not sure that he really understands what the words are for. Afterall he says foot when he's hurt himself so it's not like all the words they can say always have the right meaning to them.]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 20:46:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170158&title=manners#1170158 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170126&title=manners#1170126 Author: jano1
Subject: 36093
Posted: 05 October 2010 at 8:07pm

I was just reading about this last night.

The book (will have to check and let you know) basically siad that although they can say the words (please, ta) from a young age, many don't understand what it means so they are just parroting you. My DD is 19.5 months and has said ta for ages but only recently has started saying please and thankyou and not all the time. I just keep reminding her every now and then so she gets used to it but not force it IYKWIM?]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 20:07:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1170126&title=manners#1170126 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1169855&title=manners#1169855 Author: MrsH23
Subject: 36093
Posted: 05 October 2010 at 1:39pm

Are there any books/authors that may help with teaching DS manners? He knows how to say please and ta (sometimes thank you) but just wont say it when asked (unless SIL asks him to say please). We have had a big battle the last few nights with getting him to say please before getting out of his highchair etc]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 13:39:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36093&PID=1169855&title=manners#1169855