OHbaby! Forums : Single Parents Vent

Single Parents Vent : We have been separated for just...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:35:34 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 12�February�2012 at 5:35pm

We have been separated for just over a year. He finally had the guts to tell me today....he said he wanted me to hear it from him first. Hmm, yeah probably should have told me before FB did then.

Single Parents Vent : I think you're spot on,...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 15:34:56 +0000

Author: KirstyO
Subject: 36692
Posted: 12�February�2012 at 3:34pm

I think you're spot on, HM - it shows that you're better off without him.

I suppose there's no law against getting engaged while still legally married, as long as the new marriage is held after the divorce comes through?

Single Parents Vent : Wow!! How long have you been...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 14:50:11 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 12�February�2012 at 2:50pm

Wow!! How long have you been separated for HM??

Single Parents Vent : I just found out via facebook...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 20:41:48 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 08�February�2012 at 8:41pm

I just found out via facebook that my ex-husband (seperated, still married) is engaged!! I wonder if I should break it to him that he actually needs to get divorced.....or it might actually be funny to see what happens

It would have been nice for him to actually let me know though, but hey just reinforces why I am better off without him.

Single Parents Vent : This is more about the ex's...

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 20:19:47 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 03�December�2011 at 8:19pm

This is more about the ex's mother than the ex but..

How dare you come to my child's birthday party (and you were only invited because your son specially asked me if you could come), give her an expensive doll and then loudly proclaim in front of everyone ON FOUR SEPERATE OCCASIONS that the child is not allowed to take the doll home and its only for her to play with at her Dad's house. And then to tell the child that she is not allowed to take her new toy home and watch her cry about it, and then turn around to my sister and say make sure that doll is given back to her Dad and walk away! You bitch! How can you do that to a wee girl who is only turning 3. She doesn't understand. You can't give a flash toy to a 2 year old, open it for her and then say oh but you can't play with it till Monday (the next time she sees her Dad) coz you aren't allowed to take it home.

You are bloody lucky that her Dad saw sense and gave you a talking to about it because I was about to rip your bloody head off you selfish stuck up piece of sh*t.

Single Parents Vent : I know how you feel cheekymouse! DS's...

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 17:25:50 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 03�December�2011 at 5:25pm

I know how you feel cheekymouse!

DS's father has just picked him up for an overnight stay, the last one was about 3 months ago. I hate it how he wants him to stay when it suits, but if I ever ask him to look after DS overnight if I have something on he wont. Tonight is one of the only nights I dont have anything on this week, and its the one night he decides he wants DS leaving me to find babysitters for the other nights....GRRR!!!

Single Parents Vent : Ahhh....The joys of dealing with...

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 10:31:21 +0000

Author: cheekymouse
Subject: 36692
Posted: 29�November�2011 at 10:31am

Ahhh....The joys of dealing with DS F'n father... he never has valid reasons and just likes starting arguments over crap...

Awesome!!!!

Single Parents Vent : sorry but I need to vent. I am...

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 21:42:37 +0000

Author: mizpix
Subject: 36692
Posted: 10�October�2011 at 9:42pm

sorry but I need to vent.
I am just totally over being a single mum at the moment.I am just so sick of everything being a battle day in day out. The only person I can rely on is myself, A's Dad hasnt seen him in 10 months and contributes nothing to him. My parents live 4 hours away. I spend my life working my butt off so I can pay the mortgage. I dont seem to be making any headway at all and A spends all his time in daycare.I'm always knackered at the end of the day and I still have to do dinner and washing get him ready for bed,and when am I actually supposed to enjoy my child? I really wish I could just sell my property and at least that would make living cheaper but I'd have to take a huge financial loss if I did that and I just cant bring myself to do it. I have money invested in my business and because I'm my own boss I cant even get away from work. If I dont work my ass off I'll lose what money I've got invested there too.My business partner just thinks I should suck it up and work harder, thinks I'm just being soft for wanting to spend time with my boy. My customers are super demanding and are pushing me constantly and all they do is complain. I dont feel like i can take time off or even have a sick day as they'll complain even more and it's driving me nuts.
I'm sick of being alone, I try to date but only seem to attract useless losers who think that I am a meal ticket because I have a property and a business. I just wish I has someone to share my life with and it would all be so much more bearable. There just never seems to be any light at the end of the tunnel...

Single Parents Vent : my friend's daughter comes...

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 21:14:04 +0000

Author: TheKelly
Subject: 36692
Posted: 18�September�2011 at 9:14pm

my friend's daughter comes from a single parent household (her mum,my friend has been dead since her daughter was an infant) and when she got to about 2 and a half,she started taking a big interest in mums and wondering why hers wasn't there,so its probably a phase they get when they reach that age,cos they are starting to be more aware of other people etc ...your daycare theory sounds about right.
For what its worth,my friend's girl got over the phase of "why don't I have two parents " and onto "why don't I have brown hair " ....

Single Parents Vent : No Kelly, we've been apart...

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 19:44:32 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 18�September�2011 at 7:44pm

No Kelly, we've been apart for nearly 2 years. She was just on 11 months when we split so wouldn't remember us being together. But I think she must have noticed other kids at daycare with their dads, there has been a lot of the kids being dropped off and picked up by their dads recently as the mums of her friends have all had new babies. She has asked where her brother or sister is, and why one of her friends lives in the same house as their brother and daddy instead of just with her mummy. I think she must just be trying to figure it all out. Most of my friends have the traditional two parent and several kid households so she must see all these kids with their siblings and fathers and think why have they got that and I've got me and my mum and the flatmate? Not that she seems upset by it but maybe she is just wondering why she's not like the rest of her friends. It's hard to get inside a two year old's head!

She has been heaps better this week so it must have just been a phase. She hasn't even mentioned him since drop off on Friday.

Edited by Shelt

Single Parents Vent : Have you only recently broken...

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 11:46:58 +0000

Author: TheKelly
Subject: 36692
Posted: 18�September�2011 at 11:46am

Have you only recently broken up? if so,it sounds like shes confused,two year olds don't see the world as clearly as us,and shes probably wondering why her daddy that was there all the time is suddenly not around so much anymore,perfectly understandable for her age,it will cease as she gets older and starts to understand it better,in the meantime everytime she has a cry about it,let her get it out of her system while you sit and hug her, one thing i've learnt over the past 9 years is that the more you try to get a kid not to do something,the more they will do it,so it will probably help you with your problem,let her get it out of her system and then after that every time she says it just say "yes,I know,im sorry you miss him" and change the topic or distract her....her wanting to be with him doesn't mean she loves you any less,kids tend to have a fairy tale opinion about the absent parent.
My daughter still cries sometimes for her dad,when they moved to Wellington she was a wreck,she writes letters (that she never sends) telling him how much she misses him and will have a cry to me about it.I just hold her till she feels better,thats my job,I could take or leave her dad,but he means a lot to her,so I just shut my mouth and give her cuddles cos thats all I can do

And if hes never really been there,then the only thing I can think is that maybe shes noticing kids at DC with dad's and shes starting to want hers there too,she'll get over that as she grows too,she may revert back to it once she gets to school (my daughter did) but she wont for very long.

Edited by TheKelly

Single Parents Vent : I don't really want to tell...

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 19:14:23 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 09�September�2011 at 7:14pm

I don't really want to tell him about it KAC09 and he would probably wonder why she was suddenly calling him all the time. We have a review of our parenting order coming up in December and he would probably use something like this as an argument to have the shared care that he wants.

Interesting that your girls didn't ask for him while you were away minik8e. Gabrielle was like that for ages but she has just started getting upset in the last month. In saying that I was thinking about this and I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that she has just noticed other people live with both their parents? She asked me a couple of weeks ago why her friend Amy lives with her Mummy and her Daddy and her brother, instead of just her Mummy. Up until now she's just accepted everything.

Single Parents Vent : No they don't Shelt. They...

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 23:41:24 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 07�September�2011 at 11:41pm

No they don't Shelt. They never once asked for him in the 2 weeks we were away, and it will be 3 weeks between him seeing them. They've never asked for him or his parents once. I think it is an indication of the time spent with them though - they may be in his "care" 2-3 days a week (depending what week it is) but he only spends one day of that with them, if they are lucky and he doesn't have work to do on his race car

Single Parents Vent : Oh Shelt that sucks. Can she call...

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 23:01:33 +0000

Author: KAC09
Subject: 36692
Posted: 07�September�2011 at 11:01pm

Oh Shelt that sucks. Can she call him on days she cant see him? Might be nicer then listening to her talk about your ex.

Single Parents Vent : minik8e (or anyone else for that...

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 21:13:21 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 07�September�2011 at 9:13pm

minik8e (or anyone else for that matter) do your girls cry for their Dad? My DD is going through a phase of crying for him all the time and its driving me nuts. I know she misses him but she is going a bit over the top at the moment. Wednesday afternoons in particular have been bad when I pick her up from daycare, partly because on Monday he picks her up, Tuesday she doesn't go and Thursday I pick her up and take her to his house. Every Wednesday when I drop her off I say I am picking you up today and then we are going home and going to do whatever, and then when i pick her up she spends 20 mins to half an hour screaming and crying coz we are going home and she wants to go to his house instead. Today I snapped and told her that I knew she missed her dad but all the screaming and crying was hurting my feelings. And that she could still tell me she missed him but I needed her to accept that she can't always see him when she wants. Not sure if that was the right thing to do or not, I'm just so sick of hearing about him and how she wants to see him instead of me

Single Parents Vent : Overseas trips with children,...

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 23:22:37 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�September�2011 at 11:22pm

Overseas trips with children, by yourself, are hard HARD work. I've just got back from 2 weeks in Aussie with both girls and I am exhausted and need a holiday to recover!!!!! We spent a week in QLD and then a week in Sydney. Awesome time, but amazingly exhausting.

As for fathers....the girls dad fought me for full custody...then shared custody....and got status quo (3 days/2 nights a week). Now he's dropped a day of his time after all that, so it was all pointless. At the end of the day, they're the ones missing out. I found the Parenting through Separation course VERY informative - it gives you a lot of methods to deal with questions and curiosities that children might have, and the repercussions that may arise from various incidents that may happen.

Single Parents Vent : its pure mind games and minupulation....

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 20:55:12 +0000

Author: KAC09
Subject: 36692
Posted: 02�September�2011 at 8:55pm

its pure mind games and minupulation.

Single Parents Vent : My friend's ex went to court...

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 17:23:40 +0000

Author: TheKelly
Subject: 36692
Posted: 02�September�2011 at 5:23pm

My friend's ex went to court to get visitation rights to his son (not my friend's child btw,she had another child with him before he had this boy to another girl ) anyway,he won the visitation rights....and a month later moved overseas,wtf? all that stress and crap for nothing

Single Parents Vent : Is such a bogus system now. I...

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 23:53:06 +0000

Author: KAC09
Subject: 36692
Posted: 31�August�2011 at 11:53pm

Is such a bogus system now. I dont see rights to be in a childs life I see it as a privilage & should have to be worked for. But apperantly not. So I hope my ex is prepared for a tough battle. (He has decided to fight me on this) Because if he misses any session it will be noted and I will request his rights to be taken away. I am not having him in my sons life just to disapear when he starts relying on him. Hes done it once. I am not forgiving when it comes to my sons life. He is too important to be corrupted by his father.

Single Parents Vent : I've got day to day care...

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 13:46:49 +0000

Author: Flutterby
Subject: 36692
Posted: 27�August�2011 at 1:46pm

I've got day to day care of both kids. Got it without having to do all that other stuff. But the other day after I texted their dad to ask if he had managed to find DS a booster seat for free(he said that he should be able to get one off a friend), he said no and that he wants to come up to see us but he can't afford it. Anyway he then said that we should do a Christmas turn around each year and that since I had DS last xmas then he wants to have him this xmas and for his B/Day in March. I replied that I wanted DS to be there for DD's first xmas. Ex replied that she is not even one yet and won't even remember it. I then told him that it is important for me to have My kids with me on xmas morning. His response was a childish 'don't worry about me then'.

When the kids are older I will let them decide if they want to spend xmas and other holidays with him but at the moment while they are still young I want them to be with me for those important days. Though I will let ex have Cody with him on his B/day if it happens to fall during the school holidays or if he wants to pay to hold DS's place at kindy.

Single Parents Vent : Been there done that KAC. My DD's...

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 22:51:44 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�August�2011 at 10:51pm

Been there done that KAC. My DD's dad had never cared for her by himself when we split when she was 11 months old. Never given her a bath or fed her or put her to bed. He lived in the house but was not actively involved except for changing the odd nappy. He kept threatening to take her from daycare or not bring her back from visits so I wanted to get the custody sorted so applied for day 2 day care.

The courts helped DD's dad along. They served papers on him which he was supposed to reply to by a certain daye, he didn't and they gave him 3 extentions on the time frame. He got angry in councelling and walked out and demanded a new councellor, they gave him a new one. He couldn't finish the sessions in the required period of time, they gave him an extention. He wanted an extra session to make up for the one he stormed out of, he got it. The court appointed DD a lawyer who helped him find a lawyer to fight me because he apparently deserved to be represented even though he couldnt be bothered finding his own lawyer. We were each supposed to go to the parenting through separation course and he refused to go, they gave him another chance and allowed him an extention to get his certificate for doing the course to court. The whole process dragged on and on and on because he wasn't really interested enough to do what was required but he got so much help through each step. It made me so angry.

I agree that the child's best interests should come first, and that every child has a right to know their father, but I felt that the court system ran around after DD's dad when he wasn't really interested enough to keep the process going himself. I think the problem was he originally decided to fight me to get back at me for leaving him, and then was kind of pushed along the process. When he was ready to come to a compromise it happened really fast (we were booked to go to mediation in court and he decided he wanted to compromise 6 days before, we had the documents drawn up and signed within a week). And he had fought me for shared care (him having Thursday to Sunday every week and me having Monday to Thursday morning) but accepted 2.5 hours on Monday afternoon and 5pm Thursday to 5pm Friday. I don't think he ever really wanted shared care, he just wanted to upset me.

Single Parents Vent : We went to the gold coast for...

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 19:34:30 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�August�2011 at 7:34pm

We went to the gold coast for a week and had the best time! We got back on his bday at midnight, so if he was that desperate to see his son on his bday he could have seen him then, or the last 3 days but noooooo.

We havent done anything thru the courts (yet) but he really annoys me sometimes. He has taken Hunter for the night and I asked him to be home in the afternoon so we can go to my mid winter work do. He said he will bring him home at 6pm, which I doubt will happen anyway. He is having a bday dinner and will moan that I wouldnt let Hunter stay blah blah blah. Grow up loser!

Single Parents Vent : Oh and it drives me mad to waste...

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 15:58:14 +0000

Author: KAC09
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�August�2011 at 3:58pm

Oh and it drives me mad to waste time as I dont have any to really spare right now I should be busy working on making a stick figure walk across a screen (my uni work). But I really wanted a paenting order so I can feel safe taking him to places where he might pup into his father, I always have a fear of him taking my son away just to be evil d*ck.

Single Parents Vent : Bec, I understand the courts aim,...

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 15:55:56 +0000

Author: KAC09
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�August�2011 at 3:55pm

Bec, I understand the courts aim, but its stupid when his father already choose to not give his son that right. Just wastes my time & govt money on crap.

Single Parents Vent : KAC that sh*ts me so much. Though...

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 13:32:01 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�August�2011 at 1:32pm

KAC that sh*ts me so much. Though Bec is right, your soon has 'the right' to free and open access to both parents. I was going to do the same thing - get the parenting order - but figured if i pushed him he might walk in and ask for extra days or whatever just to punish me. So i just stay quiet and hope he stays away.

Single Parents Vent : The courts main aim is to protect...

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:44:55 +0000

Author: ....
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�August�2011 at 12:44pm

The courts main aim is to protect the rights of the child, not the parent. They see it that the child has the right to know and have a relationship with both parents.

Single Parents Vent : I took my son to oz when he was...

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 11:39:04 +0000

Author: KAC09
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�August�2011 at 11:39am

I took my son to oz when he was 10 months old. Its hard work espically by yaself. (his name is also Hunter :)).

My sons father has not seen or talked to his son (or me, YAY) for over a year so I decided to go to court and get day 2 day care of my son. And the court requested that we go to councelling to figure this out. what the hell is up with that crap! He doesnt deserve his son in his life he walked away from him. Now I get to wait 3 weeks to see if he will go to counciling and tell them what argangement he wants. And if he does that then we both have to go indivualy to a parenting class on parenting through sepration. I am so pissed off with the court. I do everything for my son. He does nothing. yet they are doing everything towards helping his father. Who the hell is helping me!!!

Single Parents Vent : Yup I know that HuntersMama. I...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 22:05:16 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 24�August�2011 at 10:05pm

Yup I know that HuntersMama. I took Gabrielle away by myself overseas when she was just on 20 months old and it was hard work! Good on you though and yay for having a good time. And lol at him caring enough about you not ringing to ring you about it.

Aww bowie that sucks.

Single Parents Vent : Wow - wtf? Did he ring you on...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 18:17:26 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 24�August�2011 at 6:17pm

Wow - wtf? Did he ring you on your birthday? Where did you go on your trip?

Im just gutted i found the perfect house, was all but told i could have it, daydreamed how i'd set it up in my head then got told actually they've given it to someone else. *sigh*

Single Parents Vent : Grrr - Hunters dad can be so clueless...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 15:11:43 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 24�August�2011 at 3:11pm

Grrr - Hunters dad can be so clueless at times. We just went away for our first overseas trip and it was HARD work! Running around after an 18 mnth old and being the only one to look after him 24/7 is pretty tiring. We did have a great trip BTW

It was his dads bday yesterday, and he rang today to ask why I didnt ring him. Ummm, well we arent together anymore and Im sure your homewreaking girlfriend made sure you had a great day with your new family. We left our hotel at 10am and didnt get home until 2am, so sorry but you were the last person on my mind.

Single Parents Vent : AHHHHH these posts make me want...

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 21:30:51 +0000

Author: julz85
Subject: 36692
Posted: 22�August�2011 at 9:30pm

AHHHHH these posts make me want to scream!!! honestly these fathers have no bloody idea! makes me so angry how they can just expect the woman to do everything and still expect all the good things out of a child . some men SUCK!!!!!!!!!

Single Parents Vent : Bowie- dont worry you are still...

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 20:02:25 +0000

Author: Nothing
Subject: 36692
Posted: 22�August�2011 at 8:02pm

Bowie- dont worry you are still BFing, no judge would take Max away from you. Keep it up

Single Parents Vent : Aww geeze you guys sound like...

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 19:56:01 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 22�August�2011 at 7:56pm

Aww geeze you guys sound like your baby daddys are right arseholes Hope things get better.

Glad to hear Max is ok Bowie. Croup sucks. DD has had it 5 times this winter and it doesn't get any less scary.

I had a wee chuckle when I read that Max's sperm donor wanted to know what you had done to Max to have him get croup - thats almost exactly the reaction I got when I told Gabrielle's dad that the ENT said she has to have her tonsils and adenoids out. He said "what did you do to her that she needs those out". And then when I explained that she gets tonsilitus all the time and has trouble breathing and snores he said no she doesn't (like he would know since he sees her for a whole 26 hours a week). And then after I explained what she has been through in terms of illness he said well she must have got that from you coz I hardly ever get sick!

Gabrielle's daddy is an idiot - she was in and out of hospital 5 times between the ages of 5 - 11 months while we were still living with him and he only once came and visited her in hospital. She's constantly sick and I spend so much time with her at the emergency doctors and our regular doctors. I can't believe he hasn't even noticed....particularly when she basically has antibiotics every second week which I give to him every time I drop her off so he can give them to her.

Single Parents Vent : Max is fine. He has croup but...

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 18:15:07 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 22�August�2011 at 6:15pm

Max is fine. He has croup but should be ok and non-contagious by friday if you're still going to come. If he's not i won't be going though since i dont want to pass his germs around.
And oh, honey, i'm feeling you. After i wrote that Max's dad rang in full force raging that he'd 'only just' gotten the messages from 12 hours earlier demanding to know what I'D done to Max, when i told him he said i obviously can't cope with him so he wants to have him every second week. I was like you're actually f**king mental and hung up. He just text later saying "i will take this to court" i was like dude, no judge it the world is going to give week about custody to a 6 month old who you've only seen a handful of times. He won't go for custody he's trying to scare me but i resent him using Max has a weapon to get to me. What a f**ker. I do everything possible for Max and him to see each other.

Our baby daddys sound like do-do-do-DOUCHES

Single Parents Vent : I hope Max is okay :( Check out...

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:07:34 +0000

Author: ....
Subject: 36692
Posted: 22�August�2011 at 5:07pm

I hope Max is okay :(

Check out this text from Bentley's father as a reply to "It's Wednesday, do you have anything for Ben this week?"
(I'm sick of being polite, and he's six weeks old now.

"What do you want from me? I give you money when I have it ($50 in six weeks, from his full-time job.), put up with you sl*gging me off to others (I don't say anything that isn't true, you are a sh*t father.), run around after IRD (If he wants to know how much child support he's liable for, he should have to find out, not me.), and listen to what an angel Joe is (He's desperate to be Joe's mate, so he asks.) Either you want me as a part of the kids life or not (I don't, but Ben has a right to know who his father is.)
"And I am helping take care of him (I'm not even going into /that/ one.) I give you money when I have it (When you haven't spent it on smokes, petrol to Oamaru every night, laptops, cell phones, TVs, videogames.) and visit when it suits you (I had to beg you to meet your boy the two times you have seen him. Surely it should be you begging for visits? Or at least asking.) I filled in the forms for Child Support (Not really, I know your real address, work, etc, why didn't you put those?) If you don't want me in his life then don't expect the money train to keep rolling (again, $50?!) You can't have it both ways."

All that after two hour-long visits which I had to nag him for, and $50 which I also had to nag him for. He's always welcome to see his son (well, not anymore), but I've tried so damn hard to let my boy know his father, no matter how much I might dislike him.
I've tried so hard not to be one of those girls that screws over the dad, 'cause that's happened to him with his daughter, but I think I've tried hard enough.

Joe is an angel, he's been up here to give me wee breaks, he plays with Bentley, he's changed a couple nappies and he has a goddamn photo of the wee fella next to his bed at home! He loves Ben enough to give up having girls over who'll be freaked out about a guy with a kid (or at least being a great Goddad to a baby), and you've seen him twice, for two hours total.
And I really want to know what you've been saying to your mum, she loved me and was so excited to meet her Grandson, you must have told her some bullsh*t if she won't reply to my every-now-and-then text asking if she wants me to bring Ben out to meet them.

Single Parents Vent : Good luck getting him to pay....

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 09:09:31 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 22�August�2011 at 9:09am

Good luck getting him to pay. If he's anything like my ex he'll say 'you use it, you pay for it'

as for me, absolute mother f**ker, text me saying he doesnt see Max enough. I was like and....? You've called of every visit for the last month. An hour or so later DS started really struggling to breath so on healthlines advice i rushed him down to hospital, texting him telling him to call because thats where we were. 12 hours later...havent heard a thing. He never puts his phone down as its also his pager for the fire brigade. WHY havent you called?? Or at least text to ask if he's ok?!

Single Parents Vent : Flutterby- I would def get a new...

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 21:44:07 +0000

Author: Nothing
Subject: 36692
Posted: 21�August�2011 at 9:44pm

Flutterby- I would def get a new one as you have no idea how the 2nd hand one has been treated, and get the best that you can afford.

Single Parents Vent : That reminds me that I need to...

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:34:52 +0000

Author: Flutterby
Subject: 36692
Posted: 21�August�2011 at 4:34pm

That reminds me that I need to bring up the subject of a booster seat for Cody again as Rose is not going to fit in her capsule for much longer.

Last time I asked Ex for help to pay for one he said that he might be able to get one free off one of his sisters friends. But I would like a new one since I will have to use it for a few years yet. And I can easily get one for under $100 on sale. Though now that I think about it I should ask him to pay the full amount for it since he is the one working.

Single Parents Vent : Hey everyone, I know what you...

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:39:08 +0000

Author: KAC09
Subject: 36692
Posted: 21�August�2011 at 1:39pm

Hey everyone, I know what you mean, my sons dad doesnt know him and doesn't buy him things. Stupid men. I just got my son a big wooden dump truck, spent all my spare $$$ on. Nice to have something for myself but instead once again used on my son. Only reason we have any $$ to spend is because I hosted a foreign exchange student for 2 weeks. Would be great if his dad would buy him anything. Instead he helped pay for a tramp for his other child. Who he sees twice a week. Seems a bit mean to give to one & not the other. He also payed for half the other kid's clothes. Whilst my son gets nothing.

Single Parents Vent : Lol Julz bet he got a shock! Seriously...

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 21:01:31 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�August�2011 at 9:01pm

Lol Julz bet he got a shock!

Seriously - on what planet is it ok to feed the child hot chips and icecream for afternoon tea, especially after you fed her pizza for dinner last night. And why can't you at least put clean undies and socks on her when she stays overnight with you. Its not that hard. And yes, she does wet the bed at night because SHES NOT NIGHT TIME TOILET TRAINED you dumbass. I keep telling you that and you aren't listening.

Single Parents Vent : yup Amelias just turnedtwo and...

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:28:44 +0000

Author: julz85
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�August�2011 at 2:28pm

yup Amelias just turned two and her natural father has never ever bought her one thing ! not even a bday or xmas pressie! Men suck , we saw him the other daya ctually at his work in harvey norman and Amelia (who has absolutly no idea who he is as shes only seen him a handful of times ) went up to him as i was talking to him and shook his hand and said "nice to meet you" (her newest trick that shes says to people she does not know lol) it was pretty funny , Her sperm donar looked quite shocked!

Edited by julz85

Single Parents Vent : Oh i know feeling you girls. Max's...

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 19:11:22 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 18�August�2011 at 7:11pm

Oh i know feeling you girls. Max's sperm donor has brought him um....um....sweet f**k all. Max has a bank account, he's asked for the number a hundred times so he can put money in for him as well but its yet to happen.

Single Parents Vent : @Pillowfight Ahh, in the five...

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 17:18:13 +0000

Author: ....
Subject: 36692
Posted: 18�August�2011 at 5:18pm

@Pillowfight Ahh, in the five weeks since Bentley was born, his Father has bought a new laptop, cellphone, and 3D TV, and has given Bentley $50 (after a lot of nagging).

Single Parents Vent : Buy your son something for once!...

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:41:18 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 17�August�2011 at 4:41pm

Buy your son something for once! Tattoo is not important. We don't need your help, but it would be nice if you got him something. *sigh*

Single Parents Vent : So all of a sudden when i want...

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 16:30:46 +0000

Author: cheekymouse
Subject: 36692
Posted: 11�July�2011 at 4:30pm

So all of a sudden when i want to plan some time away with DP, and i ask you in advance. you decide that we all of a sudden have some sort of structured 2 week visit agreement and that you can't be flexible?

News to me, i never agreed to anything!!

you have ruined what had been a good day.

There goes my much needed weekend off.

Thanks

Single Parents Vent : Thank you for giving me the heads...

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 21:52:25 +0000

Author: meganmouse
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�June�2011 at 9:52pm

Thank you for giving me the heads up that you wanted shared care and that you went in there and told them that our 'arrangement' had been in place since April 10. I really enjoyed the phone call from the IRD at work.
What I really liked (apart from the $500 bill I now have from IRD) is that they threatened to put a hold on any WFF if it could not be sorted out easily when I advised that what you said was not in fact correct.
I also liked how when I txt you to thank you for the heads up you said you just happened to be there changing your 'living stuff and wages'. Pretty sure IRD never works that fast and without needed multiple forms filled out.

Single Parents Vent : Oh Bowie, you're too kind. Was...

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 22:47:30 +0000

Author: ....
Subject: 36692
Posted: 08�June�2011 at 10:47pm

Oh Bowie, you're too kind.
Was it you and Max I spotted in the paper a few weeks ago for the cloth nappy seminar?
How did it go?

No vent from me today, I'll probably have a good juicy one to read once I start filling out these Child Support forms I've got.

Single Parents Vent : GRRRRR, after how nice and co-operative...

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:41:06 +0000

Author: cheekymouse
Subject: 36692
Posted: 07�June�2011 at 3:41pm

GRRRRR,

after how nice and co-operative we have been since you moved closer, you go and ruin it all with a petty argument because you never listen or look at how what you think affects the other side!

No your pig of a g/f who you left me for is not welcome at our son's 1st Birthday, nobody wants her there.

And don't even think about comparing my current relationship with yours...remember you left me to sleep with her....i didn't leave you and run off with the person you trusted the most.

Having petty arguments will just make me resist more and make it more difficult for you, it doesn't get you anywhere.

I don't care about you and the life you have chosen, just don't bring my DP into the argument for arguments sake. Grow up and apreciate all the hard work and long nights i have endured by myself to shape our child into the awesome kid he has become. everything and i mean everything i do is what i believe is best for him so don't tell me what i can and can't do in the home that i have worked so hard to recreate in the last 6 months. You lost that right the night you chose her over me.

GRRRRR!!!! Vent over

Single Parents Vent : Boo at ALL of your baby daddys....

Sat, 28 May 2011 18:39:51 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 28�May�2011 at 6:39pm

Boo at ALL of your baby daddys. Especially yours Julz, wtf sort of response is that! She's lucky to have your new partner as a great male influence in her life. Becbarrer, if you need a hand you know i'm in the same town as you, happy to meet for coffee and a chat if you need. Or, you know, decaf and a chat . Possible i will have some baby clothes you can have too if you need, Max is about to go up a size.
Flutterby ditto on them not knowing that their dad is coming, Maxs dad is always saying 'i'll come down on thurs' then cancels midday thursday, i don't know how that will work when Max is older, either he will have to stick to his plans or i won't tell him that his dad is coming. Ack!

Single Parents Vent : After getting different advice...

Sat, 28 May 2011 14:57:23 +0000

Author: Flutterby
Subject: 36692
Posted: 28�May�2011 at 2:57pm

After getting different advice from different people at IRD I finally talked to them in person and all I have to do is supply my bank statements and his company bank statements. Though ex didn't send all of them up so am still waiting for the rest to arrive. In the meantime a refund that I worked out I get from 2006 has been put on the tax bill, could so of used that to pay my power bill . At least it'll all be reversed once the realise that I never earn't all that money.

Ex was suppose to come up last week to spend some time with Rose and take Cody back with him for a couple of weeks, but he had to work so didn't come up in the end. Am so glad that the kids are too young to have got their hopes up over him coming up.
He texted me last night and asked how we all are. I told him Cody grumpy, Rose unhappy cause she got her 3mth jabs, and I am tired. Then he replies that he is about to go hunting. And whenever he has Cody he still goes hunting or fishing or to the pub and just leaves Cody with a family member. He lives in his own little world.

Single Parents Vent : Awww hugs Julz

Fri, 27 May 2011 20:49:32 +0000

Author: Nothing
Subject: 36692
Posted: 27�May�2011 at 8:49pm

Awww hugs Julz

Single Parents Vent : grrrr . i txt "sperm donor"...

Fri, 27 May 2011 19:29:05 +0000

Author: julz85
Subject: 36692
Posted: 27�May�2011 at 7:29pm

grrrr . i txt "sperm donor" tonight , first time we have had any contact since i called him after the earthquake to tell him his daughter was still alive , i just sent him a short txt asking him if he would like to see Amelia anytime because i do think its important to know who her birth father is even if she doesnt have a relationship with him , he bloody txt me back with a pxt of his new baby daughter , her name (same middle name as Amelia ) , he said he was married now and that his new daughter was beautiful (i knew he was married) and went on about a new job and how he was making heaps of money ???? WTF? hes such a frigging showoff , he changes jobs as often as he changes his underware so i doubt this one will last , he said he wanted to see Amelia and for her to meet her new sister . I just thought it was the weirdest thing to send me a photo of his new baby and tell me hes making lots of money , esspecially when hes never paid a single cent towards Amelia and he hasnt seen her in a year , im regretting txting him , i dont know what i was thinking, that txt he sent me has reminded me exactly why im not with him and why i dont try more for him to have contact with Amelia! GRRRRRRR!

Single Parents Vent : Here's my vent: I'm...

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 00:27:25 +0000

Author: ....
Subject: 36692
Posted: 28�April�2011 at 12:27am

Here's my vent:

I'm so mad at you, first you guilt-trip me into keeping a baby that I wasn't ready for and hadn't planned on, and two months before he's born you decide you're moving to an entirely different city for some crappy music degree?! For christs sake, you're 32, it's time to grow up and take care of your kids. You're not going to be a rockstar, and you're not going to get some flash music producer job. This is New Zealand. You're deluded if you seriously think your ex-wife is going to drive your daughter down every weekend to see you, and you're deluded if you think that seeing our boy for a couple hours every other weekend is going to make you a daddy. You moan about not seeing your daughter enough, but you don't do anything about it! You've had more than six months now to go to the Family Court and report that she's not sticking to the Parenting Agreement, and how is moving away from her going to help? You drive me mental sometimes. And seriously, you ask me to come pick out a carseat with you, which I'm more than happy to do, and you pick it out and leave me to foot the entire $150 bill? This is your baby, too, and you're the one with the car! Of course I was mad when you bought your flash new phone, I haven't bought anything more than a block of chocolate for me in the past eight months because you won't shell out a cent for the baby that you were so keen on having. Don't tell me you're going to come around all the time and be here for us when you're not. Don't tell your friends how excited you are when you're going to piss off to Dunedin to play your crappy guitar. Stop coming to scans and having all the fun stuff when you won't do any of the boring, expensive stuff. Look after your children, for goodness sake.

Bah!

Single Parents Vent : Flutterby - not nice! I hope you...

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 15:37:24 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 27�April�2011 at 3:37pm

Flutterby - not nice! I hope you can sort it and dont end up having to pay that $$. I find IRD soooo confusing. Im part self employed, part employed so my finances get very confusing.

Single Parents Vent : Flutterby- that must suck, they...

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:42:42 +0000

Author: Nothing
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�April�2011 at 6:42pm

Flutterby- that must suck, they would have used you to hide some money somewhere so they didnt have to pay tax. I would ring them up and ask what is going on (nicely), then if they dont answer soon enough start getting pissy. Then if you still get no answers ring IRD and tell them you received no money, there is no proof in your bank accounts, and that your ex is trying to pull a fast one.... Good luck

Single Parents Vent : Have to vent. Got my income...

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 17:43:09 +0000

Author: Flutterby
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�April�2011 at 5:43pm

Have to vent.

Got my income tax statement and it is saying I owe IRD over $1000 in income tax. I rang them up and they are saying it is from $16000 other income I earned in the 2010 tax year and they can't tell me what it is so I have to ring up the ex's accountant to find out. When we were together they included me in the end of year calculations for ex's buisness. I hope I can get out of paying it, especially since there is no way I earned that. The only income I got was wages from my casual job and WFF up until July 2010 and the DPB since then.

Single Parents Vent : You never know, he might turn...

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 08:20:34 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 26�April�2011 at 8:20am

You never know, he might turn up at yours after a week of sleepness nights covered in baby sick and bow down to you. He should anyway!

Single Parents Vent : Doubt it - him and I ended things...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 19:06:27 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�April�2011 at 7:06pm

Doubt it - him and I ended things before I even got my BFP then him and current GF got together the day after my 12wk scan. So they seem pretty stirdy. But he goes out everyweekend at the moment. Drinking etc and makes her pick him up from town..I just hope, them having this baby will give him and even her too an whole new appriciation for me doing it on my own.

Single Parents Vent : ^^ HAH Snap that. It really pisses...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:59:31 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�April�2011 at 6:59pm

^^ HAH Snap that.

It really pisses me off that a lot of people think i restrict him, like today i got a rev-up from a mutual friend as ex is in the army and obv would have liked to have had Max with him for the parades etc. Its also my dads bday today (he died 3yrs ago) so was having a family thing but offered to go to a midday service or dusk service anyway because its important. He said nah don't worry about it because he'll want a few rums with the boys after dawn service anyway. Fine with me. But to everyone else he says "yeah...would have loved max to be there but...it just didnt work out" sad sad sad like i'm some raging bitch that just says no all the time.

Single Parents Vent : Awww hugs ladies, I hope that...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:54:59 +0000

Author: Nothing
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�April�2011 at 6:54pm

Awww hugs ladies, I hope that once your kids get older your 'sperm donors' realise how much of a handful kids can be..... And Trudz, your ex has it coming with the new bubba, I just hope he doesnt drop his current partner in the poo too

Single Parents Vent : Oh Bowie, totally know that feeling!!! The...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:45:48 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�April�2011 at 6:45pm

Oh Bowie, totally know that feeling!!!

The day Tyler was born his dad posted some photos on his FB and everyone was saying sh*t like 'Congrats, well done!' etc etc, he had done, and paid for NOTHING my entire pregnancy - barely even spoke to me then soon as Tyler was born he claimed that dad status. Still happens a bit now but I guess most outsiders on his side think I'M the bitch and he's mr goody-goody-try-so-hard-to-see-my-son when he bloody isn't.
Grr.
Assholes!

Single Parents Vent : I hear ya bowie! amelias dad is...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:15:02 +0000

Author: julz85
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�April�2011 at 6:15pm

I hear ya bowie! amelias dad is listed as "sperm donor " on my phone lol , makes me laugh if i ever get a txt or call from him as "sperm donor" comes up.

Single Parents Vent : I hear ya Bowie! Makes me laugh...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:36:57 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�April�2011 at 3:36pm

I hear ya Bowie! Makes me laugh though, even though it is soooo annoying. People who matter can see through their crap, its obvious who is putting the hard yards and its sure not the part time dads.

Single Parents Vent : Someone just sent me pics of Max/Me/his...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 09:53:25 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 25�April�2011 at 9:53am

Someone just sent me pics of Max/Me/his Dad when we were up at his place visiting and there are a few of max and him and they've made me really angry for no reason at all - like HOW DARE HE have pictures taken with him, i do all the hard work and you just lie around and suck up the glory of having a baby? Oh cute lets take some pictures. OH and people telling him all time that Max is such a good baby and he soaks it up like its all his doing - bitch please, its my hard work thats growing him big and making him happy don't act like you've had anything to do with it. And the bit where you go around telling everyone you love being a dad makes me want to hit you because ffs, seeing him for ONE weekend out of the 3 months of his life and for a few hours (While he's asleep, mind you) each week the rest of the time doesnt make you a dad it makes you a sperm doner. And of course you're loving it its not hard at all, i do all the work!

I am fully aware that is unresonable. I dont care.

Just brought me right back to the feelings of you are a total fruit loop and i don't want you touching my child, of course i can't cut him out totally (wish i could) but it makes my skin crawl to see them together, i don't want him having any influence on DS at all but i'm not sure how i can stop it.

Single Parents Vent : I'll have a look in today's...

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:54:19 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 16�April�2011 at 1:54pm

I'll have a look in today's paper listings. I know places like inglewood, stratford etc are far cheaper but they're just too far away for me I might have to put my name down at housingNZ

Single Parents Vent : I would agree with the private...

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 09:47:50 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 16�April�2011 at 9:47am

I would agree with the private rentals part - and that also means no letting fee. Stratford is a LOT cheaper!! But Inglewood is fairly affordable and we have most of what we need out here Bell Block is even more ridiculous than NP is!!!

Single Parents Vent : Insomniac lurker- I hear you on...

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 00:22:17 +0000

Author: tictacjunkie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 16�April�2011 at 12:22am

Insomniac lurker- I hear you on the hefty rent prices. (& the living with parents! i had to move back home for 3mths while we were buying this place- me, DH, ds & my big fat preg belly all squished into the sunroom, lol). Mum's busy trying to kick my 2 brothers and my cousin out of her house but rent prices are so stupid in New Plymouth. Stratford is a bit cheaper, =), my sister is in Inglewood too. Also, private rentals in the Saturday Daily News seem a lot cheaper.

Single Parents Vent : It's all good - I know what...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 21:29:36 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�April�2011 at 9:29pm

It's all good - I know what madness it can be living with your parents, and that was without kids LOL

Single Parents Vent : Thanks hun xxx

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 19:40:17 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�April�2011 at 7:40pm

Thanks hun xxx

Single Parents Vent : Have a look here as well - there's...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 19:13:37 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�April�2011 at 7:13pm

Have a look here as well - there's a few that are under $290 a week which aren't in the hood or Waitara...including one in Westown for $270 right at the bottom of the page. It's only $20, but still - it's $20!! Oh and also here

Single Parents Vent : Thanks for the heads up..i know,...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 14:44:15 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�April�2011 at 2:44pm

Thanks for the heads up..i know, i looked on TM..but also looked at harcourts and first national's site and it's even worse on there! Inglewood really wouldn't work for me :-( town really is my only option. Grr.
I'm going to need a flatty.

Single Parents Vent : Just don't look at the 2...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 10:02:15 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�April�2011 at 10:02am

Just don't look at the 2 bdrm on Lemon St for $250 - it's a cold damp house. I'm really glad I live in Inglewood, looking at the prices on TradeMe.

Single Parents Vent : Yeah it's frankley road....

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 09:53:30 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�April�2011 at 9:53am

Yeah it's frankley road. 3bdrms. So far the only childfriendly place I can find.
I might be a little picky - but I don't wanna live in the 'hood'
There's also one on Rimu st for the same price but only 2bdrm.

Arrgh..I wanna stay in town lol. I've lived in Waitara before but I'd rather not go back.

Single Parents Vent : Wow - whereabouts are you looking...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 09:46:02 +0000

Author: minik8e
Subject: 36692
Posted: 06�April�2011 at 9:46am

Wow - whereabouts are you looking Trudz??? I pay $250 for my place, which is a 9 year old 3 bdrm house. Granted, it's in Inglewood, but $290 seems really expensive????

Single Parents Vent : I'm living with my parents....

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 21:01:28 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 05�April�2011 at 9:01pm

I'm living with my parents. I have nothing against living here, it's just too small for us and all our stuff.
I found a nice little place for $290p/w - winz can give me $75 acc supplement and $78 temp support but even with those, after rent goes out I'm left with $146 and my dad was flat out "it's not enough. You can't do it"

Just PMO coz he was so negative!

Single Parents Vent : Where are you living at the moment...

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 20:05:28 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 05�April�2011 at 8:05pm

Where are you living at the moment pillow fight?

Single Parents Vent : Grrrrrrrrr all I wanna do is MOVE...

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 17:14:29 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 05�April�2011 at 5:14pm

Grrrrrrrrr all I wanna do is MOVE OUT and noone is being supportive..

Single Parents Vent : Lol Bowie,C's dad used to...

Sat, 02 Apr 2011 16:58:36 +0000

Author: TheKelly
Subject: 36692
Posted: 02�April�2011 at 4:58pm

Lol Bowie,C's dad used to do that ,and once I borrowed $20 off him for nappies etc,and he asked when I was gonna pay it back,I laughed at him and said I had paid in advance,the day that I pushed his baby out and every day since when I cared for her while he got on with his life.
He never asked again

Single Parents Vent : This is more of a whinge than...

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 13:15:51 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 31�March�2011 at 1:15pm

This is more of a whinge than a vent but I am tired!! G is sick with a heavy cold and an ear infection and her asthma means she has coughed and cried all night long every night since Saturday night. Tuesday night I think we got 4 hours sleep in total. Its hard being a solo mummy when you dont feel well, have to get up to a sick child 100 times a night (slight exaggeration) and then get up and go to work the next day. And actually function. And then do it all again the next day.

I think she is slightly better today, just in time to go to her father's house tonight. Typical!

Single Parents Vent : Ugh, yes, he is probably just...

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 21:10:23 +0000

Author: mothermercury
Subject: 36692
Posted: 17�March�2011 at 9:10pm

Ugh, yes, he is probably just offering to pay to make himself feel better. "Well at least I OFFERED," is probably his thinking.

Single Parents Vent : i know how you feel bowie . Amelias...

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 20:08:24 +0000

Author: julz85
Subject: 36692
Posted: 17�March�2011 at 8:08pm

i know how you feel bowie . Amelias dad has never ever bought one thing or contributed financialy in any way since amelia was born (and shes 19mths old ) however when she was younger he did exactly what your ex is doing , would offer but never follow through on anything , i think its a guilt thing maybe and by them saying they will buy something is as good as doing it in their head (well it was in my exes head anyway) meh i dono , males aye! there an odd species . sounds like your doing an amazing job with your wee mna tho . thumbs up to you .

Single Parents Vent : So, seriously, my ex has contributed...

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 18:46:07 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 17�March�2011 at 6:46pm

So, seriously, my ex has contributed nothing financially towards DS - i've brought everything and spent my savings and sold a few of my things to buy better things for him (ie i sold my guitar to buy him a better carseat then i could have otherwise afforded). I mentioned they had 55% of merino stuff at Farmers atm and i was going to buy him some next payday for winter. He said 'i feel so bad i don't buy anything for him' and i replied that i'm not stopping him he can buy whatever he likes and we'd love it. He said 'I don't know what to buy' and i said he's in 000 now but will be 00 or 0 for winter so thats best. He said 'I'd probably get the wrong colour'. I said well, i have to go to farmers anyway, why don't you come with us and we can both get him a few things? He said 'how bout we just go for a walk'.

Thats about the millionth time we've had a conversation like that, him stating he wants to financially contribute, me stating it'd help and we'd love it even sometimes emailing him a website or once even just emailing him the 'checkout' at an e-store or offering that we go shopping together and maybe split it. Or stating things he needs and where to get them.

I don't NEED his money and i don't WANT it and i'm not ASKING for it but why does he offer and make such a big scene about wanting to buy him things if he really has no intention of following through? Thats the bit that drives me crazy like he only brings it up to make himself feel less guilty. Ah!!

Single Parents Vent : thanks guys , we are safe . a...

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 10:41:19 +0000

Author: julz85
Subject: 36692
Posted: 24�February�2011 at 10:41am

thanks guys , we are safe . a bit shaken and still people we know of unaccounted for but all my imediate friends and family are all safe , one of my fellow plunket group mums was in the press building and i know she has been injured and is in hospital(shes also pregnant) so im praying for her right now. And a person my dp knows has been killed . i imagine im going to start hearing of alot of people i know of - . we are still getting alot of aftershocks. currently i am at my dp's brothers house but we are going to try and go back home today. we still have no power, phone, water etc at home so i wont be able to come back on for a few days unless we come back here or go somewhere else. My dp pretty much just lost his job tho his boss has told him hes going to have to let him go simply because there is just no work ( hes his bosses only worker) so tough times are ahead but at least we have each other which is more than alot of people in this city right now.

Single Parents Vent : REALLY pleased you and A and i...

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 08:59:37 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 24�February�2011 at 8:59am

REALLY pleased you and A and i assume your DP are all ok, Julz!

Single Parents Vent : Argh, Julz what a loser! That...

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 07:14:06 +0000

Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36692
Posted: 24�February�2011 at 7:14am

Argh, Julz what a loser! That is not cool at all. Grrrr
I, however am VERY glad to hear you're both ok! I had you in my thoughts coz I rememebered you were in Chch from the last quake.
Big hugs to you and your daughter!

Single Parents Vent : AHHH, Julz! What a PRAT. That's...

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 22:47:23 +0000

Author: mothermercury
Subject: 36692
Posted: 23�February�2011 at 10:47pm

AHHH, Julz! What a PRAT. That's just terrible.

Single Parents Vent : seriously???? there has been a...

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 21:30:15 +0000

Author: julz85
Subject: 36692
Posted: 23�February�2011 at 9:30pm

seriously???? there has been a HUGE natural disastor and you didnt even think to call me or text me and ask if your daughter is safe or alive, you didnt even attempt to contact us yet you have been updating on facebook from your phone every 5minutes so you have clearly had access to a mobile ..... i had to call you a day and a half later to say we are alive!!!! This is the exact reason i am no longer with you , this is the exact reason im glad your not in MY daughters life .

Single Parents Vent : Pillow_Fight wrote:1month and...

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 14:20:29 +0000

Author: mizpix
Subject: 36692
Posted: 21�February�2011 at 2:20pm

Pillow_Fight wrote:

1month and 1day since we last heard from DS's dad. Nothing absolutly no contact in between and he texts me today saying hey are you home? !!!!!!!! yes and I've been home every day for the last month too you #$%^&*&^%$#$%^& !!!!!

I know totally how you feel truds. A's dad hasnt been in contact since 1 jan, no txt no call or anything. I know he was in Paeroa for the bike races all weekend, and had to drive past my road to get there but nothing from him. Useless prick! I shouldnt let it get to me, I know what he's like, but it makes me sad that he doesnt even think of his son. I just want to slap his stupid face and tell him to wake up, he has an awesome son who doesnt know him from a bar of soap!

Single Parents Vent : Awww Kelly that sucks and it made...

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 21:33:50 +0000

Author: Shelt
Subject: 36692
Posted: 20�February�2011 at 9:33pm

Awww Kelly that sucks and it made me upset for Caitlyn. I am so not looking forward to that stage. Its hard enough trying to explain at the moment to a 2 year old that she lives with me and she can't just visit Daddy when she wants. She cries when I drop her off and she cries when he drops her back...transitions are hard work

Single Parents Vent : Made me cry too that is really...

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 11:27:14 +0000

Author: HuntersMama
Subject: 36692
Posted: 20�February�2011 at 11:27am

Made me cry too that is really hard, and even worse you arent the one to cause the heartbreak but will be the one to mop up the tears. Not looking forward to that stage at all.

Single Parents Vent : Yup Skype is freeeeee, you only...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 18:04:35 +0000

Author: happymum21
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�February�2011 at 6:04pm

Yup Skype is freeeeee, you only need to have a microphone and/or headset/speakers and webcam. Easy peasy to setup.

Single Parents Vent : Skype is freeeeee and its the...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 14:31:30 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�February�2011 at 2:31pm

Skype is freeeeee and its the best thing since sliced bread.

Single Parents Vent : Thanks guys yup Mum2Alana,thats...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 14:07:15 +0000

Author: TheKelly
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�February�2011 at 2:07pm

Thanks guys
yup Mum2Alana,thats what I did,we talked about her being able to fly down there or go on the train or whatever and how she will be able to go to Te Papa.....and thats as far as I got,that and the Bee Hive lol cos I don't know Wellington very well...
Is Skype expensive to set up ? I think thats one of the things her stepmum suggested,I think they already have it..

Im not worried about her on a plane...they moved to Wellington when she was 3,then to Australia when she was 4 ...only difference between now and then is that she understands more about her place in their family,that she isn't as part of it as her brothers,and that she has a bigger bond with her brothers since shes been seeing them so regularly,but yeah, she flew to Australia not by herself, but without me,which is almost the same when they are 4

Single Parents Vent : Oh Kelly that must be so tough,...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 11:55:23 +0000

Author: happymum21
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�February�2011 at 11:55am

Oh Kelly that must be so tough, it's gut wrenching when seeing your child so upset because of something the other parent does - it happens often with me and my girl. One thing I have done for my girl is reassure her that she will still get to see her dad and her lil brothers. Skype is a wonderful way of keeping in contact and you can videocall/talk via camera. Also, she will have the opportunity to spend time with them during the holidays I assume. She could even fly down on a plane and fly back and spend time in a different city. That could be exciting (nerve wracking for you the first time it happens but airport staff are used to these situations and having to assist unaccompanied children).

It will be a different situation but also can be exciting and something for her to look forward to.

Single Parents Vent : Me too...poor Caitlyn, what a...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 11:28:02 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�February�2011 at 11:28am

Me too...poor Caitlyn, what a horrid thing for you and her to have to go through Kelly.

Admire your attitude very much though, respecting that decision and seeing that its the best and not just hating on him or trashing him out in front of C. Not that it makes it any easier on her now of course.

Single Parents Vent : aww big hugs kelly that made me...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 07:12:19 +0000

Author: james
Subject: 36692
Posted: 19�February�2011 at 7:12am

aww big hugs kelly that made me cry

Single Parents Vent : I don't really belong in...

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 23:01:44 +0000

Author: TheKelly
Subject: 36692
Posted: 18�February�2011 at 11:01pm

I don't really belong in this thread,cos im not single...BUT my daughter's father and I are not together and I need to vent about something.

He and his family are moving to Wellington, which is fair enough, they told me,apologising profusely,and what can I say ? its the best thing for them (them being his wife and 3 boys ) and it would be selfish of me to expect them to stay up here when really my DH is more C's dad than he is.
However,because C's bio dad and I have always made an effort to have a good relationship,I never say a bad word about him in front of her, for example, she loves her bio daddy very much as well,and she adores her brothers (all younger )

So anyway, my ...vent? not sure if thats the right word,is you think the baby stage is so hard, all the sleepless nights, breast feeding issues etc....nuh uh.
See,when Ty (my 19month old ) is hungry..I feed him,when he is wet,I change him,when he needs a cuddle I comfort him.
What the HELL do I do to comfort an 8 year old girl,who is old enough to understand things in shades of grey when I tell her her other family are moving away from her and I have to watch her heart break?
One of the hardest moments of my parenting life, sitting comforting my daughter who was so upset she was no longer crying but wailing, while she said "they can just leave me,cos I dont matter as much,I don't matter as much " knowing that I can't deny it,because she is smarter than that,she knows the truth,that she isn't as much part of the family, what on earth do I say to comfort her except reassure her how much I love her and how Im not going anywhere.....and yet knowing at the same time that its no where near enough.

...They have all these books to prepare you for the baby stage,the toddler stage...there is nothing to prepare you for moments in parenthood like that.

Single Parents Vent : ahh heck, hope Tyler gets better...

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 12:31:57 +0000

Author: Plushie
Subject: 36692
Posted: 16�February�2011 at 12:31pm

ahh heck, hope Tyler gets better soon that must be wretched for you both.

Single Parents Vent : DS has been sick with rotavirus...

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 08:40:31 +0000

Author: nicandtyler
Subject: 36692
Posted: 16�February�2011 at 8:40am

DS has been sick with rotavirus since thursday, still not right today and his dad hasn't offered to take him at all and ive been at clinical for uni so have had to take so much time off and i get absolutely no offer of help from the ex, he calls twice to ask about him, and then gets mad that i havent been to get the cats yet, sorry i havent had blimmin time with being at clinical and trying to look after a really sick toddler when will he get it!

Single Parents Vent : Just found out he's decided...

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 23:10:30 +0000

Author: ....
Subject: 36692
Posted: 15�February�2011 at 11:10pm

Just found out he's decided to move to Christchurch at the end of the year.

So much for my baby having his/her daddy around, eh.