OHbaby! Forums : separation anxiety? or something else? https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 07 Apr 2026 07:42:03 +0000 Sat, 15 Jan 2011 13:31:33 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=37045 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : Well the problem has disappeared...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1240978&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1240978 Author: Disco
Subject: 37045
Posted: 15 January 2011 at 1:31pm

Well the problem has disappeared and DD has been an angel about going to bed again for a few weeks now.

What I did in the end was make sure she had lots of cuddles and then for a few nights I let her cry for about 10/15 mins and after about three or four nights she stopped doing it. I think she just didn't want to go to bed.

I must file this away for next time, as I am sure there will be one!

Disco:)]]> Sat, 15 Jan 2011 13:31:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1240978&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1240978 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : I haven&#039;t read everyone...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1238440&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1238440 Author: AuntieSarah
Subject: 37045
Posted: 12 January 2011 at 8:02pm

I haven't read everyone elses comments and I think this is a bit of an old post now! But anyway, my son has done this a couple of times, just suddenly out of nowhere decides to get grumpy every bedtime. When this happens dh and I swap jobs - normally one of us does the bath etc and one does bedtime, so if I've been putting him to bed then dh does. It's solved the issue every time so far! ]]> Wed, 12 Jan 2011 20:02:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1238440&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1238440 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : Oops, I just realised that I&#039;d...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1238323&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1238323 Author: MrsH
Subject: 37045
Posted: 12 January 2011 at 5:43pm

Oops, I just realised that I'd got your post mixed up with someone elses hahaha. Forget the 'Dad' comment.... ]]> Wed, 12 Jan 2011 17:43:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1238323&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1238323 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : My DS has been very hard to get...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1237640&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1237640 Author: MrsH
Subject: 37045
Posted: 11 January 2011 at 9:41pm

My DS has been very hard to get to bed at night too - fine for his daytime naps but crap at going down at night time. He'd talk to himself for about an hour and then start crying. When we'd go in there, he'd be standing up in the cot and when we tried to lie him down, he'd cling to us. I'd then have to sit with him without talking to him while he floated around in his room for 15 or so minutes, looking at books, getting up onto my lap, getting down off my lap, looking at more books. And then, he'd finally go down without a fight.

The Sleepstore suggests a number of things but the biggest things I took from the site were:
- Bedtime routine needs to be relaxing (so no wrestling type play before bed DAD! It's not rocket science)
- No TV an hour before bed, quiet play only.

And Finally, the biggest thing was that they said that they sometimes just want more time with Mum! Some Mums (hey, lets face it - ALL Mums!) are so busy that they don't have much time for one-on-one play during the day. I know I don't because I don't get home til 530 and then it's teatime. Sometimes they just want to spend some time with us (a type of separation anxiety I guess) so 10 or so minutes extra before bed for cuddles, song, story etc. is all they're really crying for.

This was for my situation anyway but may help you.

The fact that Dad's not there could just be a coincidence (as so many things often are when they're developing so quickly).]]> Tue, 11 Jan 2011 21:41:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1237640&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1237640 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : basically the same as my ds 13...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1236955&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1236955 Author: kiwimum2010
Subject: 37045
Posted: 11 January 2011 at 12:31pm

basically the same as my ds 13 months. his crying = hysterical hyperventilating screams and real tears!!1 I have tried walking out, patting back/bum, standing facing the other way not looking eye to eye etc and nothing stops his screaming till i pick him up!!
Not sure what to try now!]]> Tue, 11 Jan 2011 12:31:31 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1236955&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1236955 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : OMG disco I could have written...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1220223&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1220223 Author: SpecialK
Subject: 37045
Posted: 14 December 2010 at 3:20pm

OMG disco I could have written your post! My 19 month old has just started doing this the last couple of weeks, it's totally doing my head in. Found some good info on this on the sleep store site, sounds like this is something all toddlers do at some stage... but I def think doing more activities in the afternoon might be something to try, I used to take him to the park most afternoons but since having DD it's been a bit tricky... might have to try harder!]]> Tue, 14 Dec 2010 15:20:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1220223&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1220223 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : thanks guys for all your ideas...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1219584&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1219584 Author: Disco
Subject: 37045
Posted: 13 December 2010 at 8:01pm

thanks guys for all your ideas and suggestions. i am thinking that she's gotten into a habit. the last few nights i put her to bed as per normal and either she goes straight to sleep or cries. So when she cries i go in and sit on the floor with my back to her, also reading my book, within a few minutes she has resigned herself to go to sleep.

unfortunately we have MIL coming to stay for a month and we have no choice but to put her in DD room so I am sure more games will begin!

disco]]> Mon, 13 Dec 2010 20:01:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1219584&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1219584 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : G is a bit older but I have just...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1219569&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1219569 Author: Shelt
Subject: 37045
Posted: 13 December 2010 at 7:44pm

G is a bit older but I have just been doing sleep boot camp with her for this very reason. I thought hers was separation anxiety but over the last two month of it taking me increasing longer periods of time to get her to sleep (up to 3 hours) I came to the conclusion that she appeared to be playing me. I took a slightly softer approach than CIO because G screams so much she makes herself sick.

Basically I put her to bed and I walked as far away as I could before she cried. Then I stood in the room with my back to her (eyes averted, making no eye contact at all) and slowly one step every five minutes or so type thing made my way out of the room. If she screamed I took a step (or more, whatever it took) back in to the room but no eye contact with my back to her. The first two nights I ended up spending over an hour standing in the doorway with my back to her while she yelled Marmeee over and over, but at least I got to read my book Gradually my time in the doorway got shorter and shorter and after about 6 days I was back to walking straight out of the room and she just calls out for 10-15 minutes. No crying just calling my name. Wish I'd done it sooner coz I could have avoided 2+ months of screaming, crying, sitting with her, popping in and out of the room, her getting out of bed and wandering out etc.]]> Mon, 13 Dec 2010 19:44:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1219569&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1219569 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : Everything is just a phase DS...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1217780&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1217780 Author: mummymonster
Subject: 37045
Posted: 10 December 2010 at 8:35pm

Everything is just a phase
DS is has never been a fantastic sleeper. He switches phases every few weeks or so. The ones where he sleeps through the night are my favourite.
Sometimes he'll fall asleep straight away, then wake up a few hours later. Then next phase will be sleeping through to 4:30, then messing around till 6am - when he promptly falls back to sleep and gets upset when we get him up (he goes to daycare so no sleeping in during the week).
The disturbed phases last up to a week, and I guess the settled phases are about the same too.

I used to be more concerned asking myself "what's wrong? how long do I let him cry? I don't know how to help him" which resulted in a lot of night time cuddles which didn't end in DS sleeping. Now I'm still concerned, but I try to stay out of the room (after a sneaky check). I never thought I'd be a CIO mum, but really if I go in for cuddles or to settle him I make it worse he just gets more awake and the CIO bit starts all over again]]> Fri, 10 Dec 2010 20:35:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1217780&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1217780 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : It could just be a phase, maybe...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1217361&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1217361 Author: Jacobsmumma
Subject: 37045
Posted: 10 December 2010 at 11:08am

It could just be a phase, maybe testing her boundaries.  I would also recommend perhaps moving her bedtime say 30mins later and also perhaps try more activities late arvo so that she's really knackered and may just crash at bedtime.  She might be needing that bit more stimulation or something?

GL anyway.

]]> Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:08:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1217361&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1217361 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : Only suggestion I have is that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1217071&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1217071 Author: myfullhouse
Subject: 37045
Posted: 09 December 2010 at 9:42pm

Only suggestion I have is that could she be going to bed too early now and not quite so tired? Would pushing her bedtime out a little bit help?

Other than that I have no suggestions sorry as my boys are cr@p sleepers. and I hope you get it sorted soon]]> Thu, 09 Dec 2010 21:42:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1217071&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1217071 <![CDATA[separation anxiety? or something else? : OK DD is doing my head in, up...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1216993&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1216993 Author: Disco
Subject: 37045
Posted: 09 December 2010 at 8:13pm

OK DD is doing my head in, up to a week or two ago, 13mnth old DD used to go to bed and fall asleep no problem, i would put her in her cot, leave the room and normally that would be it. She might wake a little later in the night but usually went back to sleep in no time, sometimes with cuddles or on her own.

Now the past week or two we've had a screaming session that's lasting an hour or so. I've not changed her bedtime routine at all. I put her to bed as per usual and everything seems fine. Then about 3-5mins later she starts crying. Has a huge set of lungs so you can't miss her and can hear her all over the house! SO i leave her for a few mins and then go in and she's usually standing up. I resettle her, she laughs or giggles sometimes and then I leave the room. This seems to be going on for an hour or so.

So obviously what i had been doing previously is not working anymore. Should I tough it out, is she just being mischievous and is just a phase? or suffering separation anxiety? Any suggestion? should i change the routine that's worked since 5/6months old?

I hate seeing her so upset. I'm feeling a little stuck at the moment as I'm wondering at what point do they start pushing boundaries? any suggestions would be very welcome!

disco:(]]> Thu, 09 Dec 2010 20:13:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37045&PID=1216993&title=separation-anxiety-or-something-else#1216993