https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Wed, 08 Apr 2026 03:02:27 +0000 Wed, 26 Jan 2011 13:07:38 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=37556 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1251539&title=timing-issues#1251539 Author: 2Lillies
Subject: 37556
Posted: 26 January 2011 at 1:07pm

Good call K, only takes a oncer! Taking that on as a philosophy might take the pressure off a bit in itself! ]]> Wed, 26 Jan 2011 13:07:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1251539&title=timing-issues#1251539 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1251400&title=timing-issues#1251400 Author: Kalimirella
Subject: 37556
Posted: 26 January 2011 at 10:57am

(a bit TMI) Lol hopeful, we had the same sort of performance issues, well in the end it only took a oncer :D]]> Wed, 26 Jan 2011 10:57:08 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1251400&title=timing-issues#1251400 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1251389&title=timing-issues#1251389 Author: hopeful74
Subject: 37556
Posted: 26 January 2011 at 10:47am

My DH has taken an interest in the ins and outs of TTC. Unfortunately, we often have timing issues also. We call it performance pressure    It can be very frustrating and upsetting for us both.

Good luck!]]> Wed, 26 Jan 2011 10:47:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1251389&title=timing-issues#1251389 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1247569&title=timing-issues#1247569 Author: Kalimirella
Subject: 37556
Posted: 21 January 2011 at 10:09pm

I'm sorry I haven't read all the posts.

And I must add out TTC journey was not as long as yours, but what did work for us is taking a step back. I promised to DP I would never ask him to BD just for the purpose of making a baby. We both had to feel like it and in sexy funtime mood. I found that actually helped our relationship, and though I kept track in the back of my head where I was at in my cycle, I never told him.

I'm not sure if this will help you at all, but maybe it is something you can try.]]> Fri, 21 Jan 2011 22:09:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1247569&title=timing-issues#1247569 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1247363&title=timing-issues#1247363 Author: 2Lillies
Subject: 37556
Posted: 21 January 2011 at 7:31pm

SNAP girls! As Shay says, it is a relief to know we're not alone. I took it really personal and felt like the universe was conspiring against me to stop me ever being a Mummy! (so dramatic! haha)

We have since spoken and are (hopefully) back on the same page now. My only piece of advice is that sometimes boys need to think that it is their idea... They love us and want us to be happy, but they want it to be their timing/decision so what worked for us was having a talk (admittedly after a big fight haha) with me coolly and calmly (while raging on the inside haha) telling him where I was at and what needed to be done (timing, he thought BD = Baby. The end!) and letting him sit on it for a few days. He has come to me with a few sneaky questions now so I know he's heading in the right direction. Don't lose hope! It will happen for us!]]> Fri, 21 Jan 2011 19:31:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1247363&title=timing-issues#1247363 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1247033&title=timing-issues#1247033 Author: Inkedpixie
Subject: 37556
Posted: 21 January 2011 at 2:06pm

Haha NewMummyJade, it's a huge relief to see that my DF isn't the only man like that. I took it pretty hard when he said he had no interest in bd-ing any more, bit of a knock to the ego! ]]> Fri, 21 Jan 2011 14:06:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1247033&title=timing-issues#1247033 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246791&title=timing-issues#1246791 Author: CarleyRose
Subject: 37556
Posted: 21 January 2011 at 10:36am

Thanks guys! You have all helped alot!

DH does read bits and pieces about timing etc but its never really changed anything. We will sort this out and get our Sex life back on track! But i think definately we need to have a couple of months off again!

Thanks all for your help!]]> Fri, 21 Jan 2011 10:36:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246791&title=timing-issues#1246791 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246699&title=timing-issues#1246699 Author: NewMummyJade
Subject: 37556
Posted: 21 January 2011 at 9:21am

I know its kinda already been said, but taking the pressure off might really help.

I found the more I tried explaining the in's and outs of it, days, temperatures all that jazz, the more DF became uninterested. Congrats to all the ladys out there who have found men who are totally interested in what's going on, mine just wasnt.

He even admits now the thought of "Doing it" just for the sake of making a baby kinda put him off so it wasnt until I stopped talking about it and pretended it was all just for the fun of it that he relaxed and was more excited. More excited generally means more BDing!

Plus I think its easy to forget men have pretty fragile Ego's, they are taught their whole lives that if they have sex they could get a woman preggo, so when it doesnt happen it knocks their confidence a bit.

Goodluck and hope you get the BFP your hoping for soon. Took me 7 months but every bit longer just makes you love that precious little peanut even more when you get your BFP.
]]> Fri, 21 Jan 2011 09:21:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246699&title=timing-issues#1246699 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246164&title=timing-issues#1246164 Author: _Lou_
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 4:11pm

Aww Emma, its not easy, especially when the fun and sponteniety (sp?) kinda goes out the window!

My DH never used to really get the whole timing thing, in fact he thought we could BD whenever and we'd end up UTD! If only!!!

TBH, since it didn't happen for us in the first few cycles, my DH has taken it upon himself to do his own research (which sometimes is better to read it in the print than have me droning on about what I have read!!) and that has made him realise a lot of things. One of them is about the timing of bd'ing and now he is the one who suggests we try bd'ing on certain days/times etc.

I'm not sure how you can encourage your DH to do that (or perhaps he has already,sorry if I am assuming!) but it seemed to help with us.

As the others have said, can you try and take the pressure off yourselves for a month or two? I know you're not charting anymore and I know its hard to "forget" where in your cycle you are, but it might be worth a go? Maybe spend some nice intimate time with DH that doesn't lead to BD'ing?

Good luck ]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 16:11:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246164&title=timing-issues#1246164 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246104&title=timing-issues#1246104 Author: CarleyRose
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 3:26pm

Yeah hmmm.... Sushi is nice! Not sure how smelling like raw fish would help things tho haha!
Maybe stick to some chocolate!
]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 15:26:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246104&title=timing-issues#1246104 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246081&title=timing-issues#1246081 Author: LadyBee
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 3:08pm

Hahaha reminds me of Sex in the city when Samantha layed naked with sushi displayed on her waiting for her BF to come home LOL
You could try that if your DH is into sushi ]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 15:08:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246081&title=timing-issues#1246081 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246044&title=timing-issues#1246044 Author: Nutella
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 2:44pm

Emmap..I just remember watching a movie yonks ago where this lady was told to wrap herself in gladwrap and nothing else and greet her husband at the door lol....i am not quite sure how looking like a sandwich is supposed to be appealing hehe. But it has always stuck in my mind!]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 14:44:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1246044&title=timing-issues#1246044 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245999&title=timing-issues#1245999 Author: monkeys
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 2:11pm

My issue isn't a tired husband it's a tired me! lol...
He tends to come to bed about 2 hours after me, so by then I have slept and am really tired...lucky though around OV I have the motivation to stay wide awake and wait ]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 14:11:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245999&title=timing-issues#1245999 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245975&title=timing-issues#1245975 Author: CarleyRose
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 1:58pm

Thanks all! You all have heaps of advice to give! I knew i could count on you,and it good to kno i'm not the only onehaving issues with BDing!

And whats this glad wrap thing....could be interesting for a laugh!! ]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 13:58:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245975&title=timing-issues#1245975 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245774&title=timing-issues#1245774 Author: Nutella
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 10:55am

It does sound like lots of us have tired husbands!]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 10:55:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245774&title=timing-issues#1245774 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245750&title=timing-issues#1245750 Author: Inkedpixie
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 10:30am

Sorry to hear about your troubles! Ive had same problem with DF, so this cycle I'm just initiating things without telling him what cd it is. So far so good, although last night he asked which cd were on so I date say he knows what I'm doing. Hope your DH starts playing nicely again soon, good luck! ]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 10:30:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245750&title=timing-issues#1245750 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245743&title=timing-issues#1245743 Author: Tigerish
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 10:25am

Sounds like a lot of us have tired husbands. Might be worth just having a real heart-to-heart with your DH and find out what he's thinking. I often find doing this when you're both in bed and snuggled up together is a good time. ]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 10:25:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245743&title=timing-issues#1245743 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245721&title=timing-issues#1245721 Author: GuestGuest
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 10:05am

You're right LB.

Actually, just on the OPK thing I wouldn't 100% rely on them for timing. During the cycle I conceived I didn't get a positive OPK until the day I ov'd (according to my temps) so if I had waited till then I might have missed the boat!]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 10:05:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245721&title=timing-issues#1245721 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245663&title=timing-issues#1245663 Author: LadyBee
Subject: 37556
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 9:11am

Little_Red wrote: ETA: have just read LB's advice and realised that mine is the exact opposite of hers

Just goes to show, what works for one couple doesnt work for another couple.
Some BD everyday for 2 weeks
Some just after a OPK , some every second day......etc
Guess you got to find a system that works for you and your lifestyle. ]]> Thu, 20 Jan 2011 09:11:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245663&title=timing-issues#1245663 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245257&title=timing-issues#1245257 Author: 5th...and final??
Subject: 37556
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 7:54pm

i suppose you already use OPK's?? that cuts it down to only having sex twice a month
or if he is up for more frequent than that, it at least lets you both know that its for fun only, taking the pressure off.
shift work does make TTC just that extra bit difficult though ]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 19:54:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245257&title=timing-issues#1245257 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245118&title=timing-issues#1245118 Author: Nutella
Subject: 37556
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 5:21pm

Lol, LR, I reckon that could work too! I think that would work with my tired hubby as he always wants to know when the 'good time' is but gets interested too early then too tired when the timing is right! Sigh!!!

Also, try just doing physical things with hubby, sometimes I might just rub his back or give him a massage. No doubt he will appreciate the closeness without feeling there is a demand on him (just make sure he knows you are not expecting bding), and being close is always good hey.

If nothing works you could always wrap yourself in gladwrap and greet him at the door (where have I heard about that!!?!)]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 17:21:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245118&title=timing-issues#1245118 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245058&title=timing-issues#1245058 Author: GuestGuest
Subject: 37556
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 4:15pm

Hey Emma, hugs love.

My DH was really busy at work for a couple of months last year so would get home late and was tired all the time so didn't feel like BDing. So we discussed it and decided just to BD around ovulation and give him time off the rest of the month. That worked for us, sure it probably felt like a chore more than anything but at least we got the deed done if you know what I mean? Not sure if that helps.

ETA: have just read LB's advice and realised that mine is the exact opposite of hers

Edited by Little_Red]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 16:15:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245058&title=timing-issues#1245058 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245041&title=timing-issues#1245041 Author: LadyBee
Subject: 37556
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 4:01pm

DH is a builder and works 12 hr days with more paperwork (quotes etc ) to do when he gets home most nights, so I can relate to the to tired bit....its increadably fustraiting! When coming up to OV I make a good dinner and dessert then give him a cup of coffee to keep him perked up then tell him we having an early night or mornings, I set the alarm earlier no excuses then and its a good way to start the day

I also told DH that I'm not going to preassure him into BD just because its the right time. I think it stresses him out too much and I think it has helped as around OV its not a tense atmosphere IYKWIM
DH has told me he thinks nothing will happen untill I have my LAP, mabey your DH thinks the same and isnt interested in trying ATM???

But as Nutella said a wea break can do wonders......mabey say to him "we wont try untill after the LAP but we wont prevent either" might just ease the pressure a little

Hugs luv
xx]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 16:01:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245041&title=timing-issues#1245041 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245008&title=timing-issues#1245008 Author: CarleyRose
Subject: 37556
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 3:29pm

Yeah i think that is probley the best solution aye! Thanks heaps nutella!
]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 15:29:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245008&title=timing-issues#1245008 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245005&title=timing-issues#1245005 Author: Nutella
Subject: 37556
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 3:27pm

I have the same problemo, well sort of, my hubby is just so tired all the time so don't get enough action in. We have decided to start trying 'for real' in April so then I can harrass him all I want.

Maybe try having a break from ttc til you have your lap appointment, maybe just not feeling the pressure from you to bd at the 'right times' might make him feel a little more romantic if that makes sense?

Unfortunetly you can't do it on your own lol, so he has to be 'into' it as well and maybe a wee break will put him in a better mindset.]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 15:27:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245005&title=timing-issues#1245005 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245001&title=timing-issues#1245001 Author: CarleyRose
Subject: 37556
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 3:23pm

Hey Ladies

I'm sure some of you can offer me some advice.

DH and I have been trying to conceive a child for nearly 2 and a half years. (currently waiting for a LAP appt) As you do, you start off really excited and get into BDing straight away, knowing when to BD and what kind increases your chances.

Lately DH hasn't really been interested in BD at the right itmes of the month, and we end up getting in an argument and we miss our oppurtunity for the month.

It seems like BD has become a chore for us! I kno most of you will say that we should try to spice it up but we have tried and i feel like i am always working to please DH and its stressing me out and making my life a little bit of a missery.

DH works shift work 3 days 3 night and then 3 off, but he rarely ever slows down when it comes to his days off or inbetween shift changes, he is always busy and often uses this as an excuse and says hes too tired and we hardly ever do anything together, TTC is starting to ruin my relationship with DH and i thought it would make us stronger.

I think that it is starting to hit him, how long it is taking us to get UTD. But lately when it comes to the right time, i don't even bother saying anything, or when i do he just replys that he is too tired.

Listening to some of the ladies on here makes me cry when they say how they aren't doing enough BD and there DH's or DP's are so happy they get more.

I love DH so much and really want to us to be happy and have a family of our own!

Sorry about the novel but, What can I do?]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 15:23:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37556&PID=1245001&title=timing-issues#1245001