https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 07 Apr 2026 02:49:50 +0000 Sun, 11 Nov 2012 21:29:19 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=42753 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818786&title=appointing-guardians#5818786 Author: crafty1
Subject: 42753
Posted: 11 November 2012 at 9:29pm

We chose friends over family as i didn't want my in-laws to have to raise any more children. My mil had a second family in her early 40's and their last daughter is just a teen now and if something happened to us, they would be stuck for another 15 years. She has been continously raising kids for 41 years and i just couldn't do that to her. My mum would not want the job.

We are best family friends with a lovely couple who hold similar values and ideas about raising kids and so asked them. They love our kids already and would raise them so well. We also have guardians of the estate to make decisions about the finances. ]]> Sun, 11 Nov 2012 21:29:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818786&title=appointing-guardians#5818786 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818664&title=appointing-guardians#5818664 Author: LateStarterLorna
Subject: 42753
Posted: 09 November 2012 at 10:02pm

And a stressful one for those that have to choose, like the grandparents, I have two families with one have first dibs as such but Ive said if shes unable to have them then they go to the other family, hopefully the kids will come with enough money to upgrade house, car and maybe get a au pair :)]]> Fri, 09 Nov 2012 22:02:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818664&title=appointing-guardians#5818664 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818660&title=appointing-guardians#5818660 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 42753
Posted: 09 November 2012 at 9:28pm

so does that mean you would leave the decision of where your chid/ren would live to the guardian? That sounds like an easy way out LOL! ]]> Fri, 09 Nov 2012 21:28:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818660&title=appointing-guardians#5818660 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818648&title=appointing-guardians#5818648 Author: TeacherLady
Subject: 42753
Posted: 09 November 2012 at 7:45pm

DH and I just updated our wills to reflect this now we have a child. We chose two- a male and a female- they are not a couple.
They are both best friends, not family- although close enough to be family and Aunty/Uncle

Neither have kids, or even partners! But both are more than happy to be guardians. Also they are the ones that make decisions, not necessarily have Fergus live with them. Anyway: nothing bad is going to happen! ]]> Fri, 09 Nov 2012 19:45:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818648&title=appointing-guardians#5818648 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818642&title=appointing-guardians#5818642 Author: Keleho
Subject: 42753
Posted: 09 November 2012 at 6:31pm

In all honesty, probably not mine haha]]> Fri, 09 Nov 2012 18:31:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818642&title=appointing-guardians#5818642 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818614&title=appointing-guardians#5818614 Author: Kelz
Subject: 42753
Posted: 09 November 2012 at 9:56am

That's probably a really sensible idea KLH - you would hope that grandparents would have great wisdom and be one step removed from the emotions of it all if if the kids weren't actually living with them.

Then that begs the question: How many of us have both sets of parents that would 'work' well together? (Just for the record...I do :)]]> Fri, 09 Nov 2012 09:56:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818614&title=appointing-guardians#5818614 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818599&title=appointing-guardians#5818599 Author: Keleho
Subject: 42753
Posted: 09 November 2012 at 7:53am

That's how I understand it too AandCsmum, and I was quite pleased to find that out! DH and I can never decide on who would be best to have our girls should the worst happen - he doesnt want to burden either of our parents but we cant decide which siblings would be most ideal (not sure if any of them suit our parenting style really), so both sets of grandparents are guardians, and they would decide the best option.]]> Fri, 09 Nov 2012 07:53:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818599&title=appointing-guardians#5818599 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818505&title=appointing-guardians#5818505 Author: Kelz
Subject: 42753
Posted: 08 November 2012 at 10:37am

Yes, AandCsmum......the guardians are the ones that make the decisions. If more that one guardian is appointed then they all have to agree on the decisions made, otherwise it goes to the family court to decide what is best for the child/ren - I can only imagine how complicated this could get!]]> Thu, 08 Nov 2012 10:37:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818505&title=appointing-guardians#5818505 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818485&title=appointing-guardians#5818485 Author: AandCsmum
Subject: 42753
Posted: 07 November 2012 at 10:26pm

Your children don't have to live with the guardian but the guardian can make the decisions on what you'd like. Ie my parents would be chosen to be guardians cause I think they'd make decisions on what is most suitable for the kids if we couldn't. That is how I see the guardian. Or maybe that is not the right name for the person I'm thinking of.]]> Wed, 07 Nov 2012 22:26:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818485&title=appointing-guardians#5818485 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818477&title=appointing-guardians#5818477 Author: EmDee
Subject: 42753
Posted: 07 November 2012 at 9:17pm

We asked DH's sister. She has an older son of her own (17), she is close to the kids (we see her often) and she is similar to us in our parenting style. For us it was important that it was family as DH's family in particular are close and we felt it important that the kids stayed in contact with them especially when they've just gone through a traumatic event.]]> Wed, 07 Nov 2012 21:17:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818477&title=appointing-guardians#5818477 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818437&title=appointing-guardians#5818437 Author: LateStarterLorna
Subject: 42753
Posted: 07 November 2012 at 2:38pm

I dont have a parenting style so that made life easier but it wasnt an easy decision, I just needed to know my kids would be loved and looked after, family arent always the best choice and a lot would also depend on the kids ages I guess. Just make sure when you do make a decision you get it all in writing :) Made me feel a lot better knowing everything is sorted should I die and also if we all die. ]]> Wed, 07 Nov 2012 14:38:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818437&title=appointing-guardians#5818437 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818433&title=appointing-guardians#5818433 Author: Bizzy
Subject: 42753
Posted: 07 November 2012 at 2:11pm

Oh dear.. thats a hard one. When we had 2 kids we had asked friends of ours. They didnt live together but in the same town. Together they would have been perfect. However we now have 3 kids and they have had families of their own now and would not be ideal guardians. I am stumped as i really want someone with a similar parenting style as me and who i know would parent my kids the way i would want.]]> Wed, 07 Nov 2012 14:11:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818433&title=appointing-guardians#5818433 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818430&title=appointing-guardians#5818430 Author: Kelz
Subject: 42753
Posted: 07 November 2012 at 1:39pm

Man! It's tricky LateStarterLorna.

I do have family but they are out of town so that got me thinking.... would I want my daughter taken away from all that she knows? Or is it better for her to be with family anyway?

Eek! I don't like thinking about this!

]]> Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:39:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818430&title=appointing-guardians#5818430 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818429&title=appointing-guardians#5818429 Author: LateStarterLorna
Subject: 42753
Posted: 07 November 2012 at 1:34pm

I picked two people for my kids as I have no family except a brother I dont get in with in the uk. I choose one that has 2 kids and we see them every week and another that have moved to the South Island for a few years but I really like their family dynamics, so I knew my kids will be well looked after. They have a few godparents but mostly single persons and I wouldnt subject any single person to two kids lol

I did have someone else when I only had one child but that friendship didnt work out, so he was ousted from the Will lol]]> Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:34:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818429&title=appointing-guardians#5818429 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818422&title=appointing-guardians#5818422 Author: Kelz
Subject: 42753
Posted: 07 November 2012 at 11:53am

So, an article in the current OHbaby! magazine has got me thinking....

Have you appointed a guardian for your child/ren?
Who did you choose? Family or friend?
And why did you choose that particular person?


If you are a MAX member, you can read the article here Appointing Guardians



I've got some thinking to do!

]]> Wed, 07 Nov 2012 11:53:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42753&PID=5818422&title=appointing-guardians#5818422