https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 11 Apr 2026 23:49:12 +0000 Thu, 23 Nov 2006 14:40:50 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=4568 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88497&title=what-would-you-do#88497 Author: Bombshell
Subject: 4568
Posted: 23 November 2006 at 2:40pm

LMAO - funny but Dh calls my mum his mother outlaw - they are so close I feel picked on at times! But will never have that with my MIL!!!
I asked SIl to keep it secret - she will and I dont blame her in all this.
What idiot - three weeks!!! after we tell her the name writes it on paper and leaves it in plain view where people will see it...Im betting she wrote it to tell friends etc...anyways Dh has spoken to her and I think she is so #@*# dense that she sees nothing wrong in it.
I nearly text all my friends to tell them but Dh begged me not to...I have people closer to me that MIL and SIL (and to DH too) that we would have told otherwise...
thanks all....I needed to vent and was done with venting at DH to be honest...he felt so guilty last night he cooked dinner, did washing, put all his washing and clothes away ive been nagging him to do for three weeks!!! and got me a drink etc....GUILT GUILT GUILT love it!!! ]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 14:40:50 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88497&title=what-would-you-do#88497 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88492&title=what-would-you-do#88492 Author: Red
Subject: 4568
Posted: 23 November 2006 at 2:20pm

This reminds me of a joke that I heard. What is the difference between "outlaws" and "inlaws"? Outlaws are wanted! He he he]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 14:20:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88492&title=what-would-you-do#88492 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88473&title=what-would-you-do#88473 Author: mum2paris
Subject: 4568
Posted: 23 November 2006 at 1:55pm

Bombshell I can relate to not wanting to tell people - we kept ours a secret as well as what we were having when we found out with Ayja, we did that because, well, we wanted to find out for us and so i could bond with her a little better considering i was going back to study so soon after having her, and i wanted to call her by her name, and have that special time just for us. We only told my sister and my MIL. The way i saw it was we found out only for our benefit, told those couple of people so we wouldn't go completely nuts, and if we hadn't found out no one would have known so whats the big deal anyway.

The problem with our family was that everyone KNEW that we knew, and would grill Paris on what it was and what we were calling it.. which i thought was a bit low, Paris would call her "bubba ayja" when no one else was around, but if someone asked her what the baby's name was going to be she would say "baby" and laugh. we trained her good.

How rude of your MIL to do what she did, some people take away those special things and don't realise how much it might have meant to others. I would go with what others have said and take the wind out of her sails by announcing it over christmas or in some special way - it will be much more special coming from you anyway. ]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 13:55:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88473&title=what-would-you-do#88473 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88454&title=what-would-you-do#88454 Author: busymum
Subject: 4568
Posted: 23 November 2006 at 12:32pm

That is such a nuisance Bombshell - maybe though you might like to talk over with DH if you will make the name public knowledge, or within the wider family? The damage is done, but you could take the initiative on telling others. Maybe you could do something special with the name over Christmas?

I would tell SIL that it's a secret. I know it's not your problem, but at least then you know that she knows.]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 12:32:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88454&title=what-would-you-do#88454 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88436&title=what-would-you-do#88436 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 4568
Posted: 23 November 2006 at 10:44am

So can relate with you there with the in laws, mine is more of a FIL issue, and as Andrew is getting older he is becoming more of a pain. We have told everyone we are having a boy, but I think second time round its not as a big deal to everyone else. Names we can't agree on one to save our lives. As DH works with children any boys name I say I get "nope have a kid with that name he's a pain in the you who where". I would be going nuts as well she was told its a secret so she should have listened.]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 10:44:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88436&title=what-would-you-do#88436 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88409&title=what-would-you-do#88409 Author: Two Blondinis
Subject: 4568
Posted: 23 November 2006 at 8:48am

Bombshell - I'm wondering if we have the same MiL?!? From what you have said they sound VERY similar! That is totally the sort of thing she would do and I quite often say she has terminal foot in mouth disease. Also call them the "outlaws" as apposed to the Inlaws

I can understand why you are so peeved, your special little secret is now out and you guys didn't get to do it your way ]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 08:48:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88409&title=what-would-you-do#88409 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88379&title=what-would-you-do#88379 Author: Jennz
Subject: 4568
Posted: 23 November 2006 at 2:19am

In Laws suck! If she was told it was a secret and not to tell people then she should have kept her mouth shut- I would be furious too. I don't have a very good relationship with my in laws either so can completely relate. My DH is absolutely useless at putting his foot down with them too which doesn't help.
]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 02:19:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88379&title=what-would-you-do#88379 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88339&title=what-would-you-do#88339 Author: aimeejoy
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 8:41pm

I would do the same Bombshell, his mum! We told DHs parents we were pg at 5 weeks but said not to tell anyone else, obviously, and we hadn't told mine yet either. I didnt want work to find out before I told them. Anyways, the next Friday night at the pub FIL was so excited he told everyone there! Grrrr... Meant we had to tell people pretty early on and wasnt our little secret anymore. Big hugs and hope your hubby can get her to stop telling people ]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 20:41:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88339&title=what-would-you-do#88339 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88318&title=what-would-you-do#88318 Author: Bombshell
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 8:15pm

I told DH to handle her - I was way too mad to do it.
WE decided on name for both a boy and girl way back and stuck to it....we wanted it for ourselves mainly and to call bubs by name just him and I before she comes...
MIL and I have issues anyways ....first grandchild or not she has really shown little interest and except for when DH drags me over I never hear from her even if Dh tells her I am sick etc. She never calls etc so dont expect that to change once bubs here either.
Apparently she had written bubs full name down and left it out on bench....she knows SIL is always there....right in sight...!!! ARGHH.....have left Dh to deal with HIS mother.....]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 20:15:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88318&title=what-would-you-do#88318 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88246&title=what-would-you-do#88246 Author: caraMel
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 2:54pm

Ah that sucks Bombshell.
Benjy's name was a secret too. I only told a couple of friends.
I didn't want everyone calling him by name before he was born in case I changed my mind and also as it was nice to keep something a surprise.
I would have been thoroughly pissed if it had leaked out before he was born, it was our job to tell. So I can see why you're upset.
Yeah I agree, I'd have a chat with MIL yourself and in a reasonable way explain that you're upset that she took it upon herself to tell, after you'd explained it was a secret.
Hopefully she'll see that it is important to you and feel bad that she blabbed.
Good luck, however you decide to handle it! ]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:54:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88246&title=what-would-you-do#88246 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88227&title=what-would-you-do#88227 Author: Roksana
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 2:34pm

I agree with the Inlaws comments....he he ha ha

I agree may be talk to your MIL (Once you have calm down ofcourse) that she should stop telling people as it is your wish not to tell any one.

I also agree with others that your MIL is just excited!! is it her first G/Child?? My MIL was very excited!! VERY!! but we never told her Zaara's name untill I went into labour and it slipped out of my mothers mouth (I told her few days earlier)...I just looked at my Mother...like what the H^#$.....it was our duty to tell MIL...but in my mum was just excited that any min she will see her G/Child!! So these things happen!! Big ]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:34:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88227&title=what-would-you-do#88227 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88225&title=what-would-you-do#88225 Author: Andie
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 2:30pm

Yeah, it's a big risk telling anyone a secret like baby's name or gender.  Easier if it's al tell-all or tell-noone deal.  But I feel ya on the whole issue of who should talk to her - I'm a firm believer that if it's your mum, you're the one who should sort it out.  ]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:30:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88225&title=what-would-you-do#88225 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88220&title=what-would-you-do#88220 Author: Paws
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 2:23pm

I agree with Meow, it's a shame she told people but she probably did get excited ( I know my MIL was!)...I'm sure she didn't do it with any nasty intent (well I hope not!!).

I guess the problem with only telling a few people something like the gender or name is that eventually someone may slip up intentionally or not. That's why we were open with both Maddie's gender and name.

Maybe just have a talk to your MIL and just explain how important it is to you that the name is kept private.]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:23:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88220&title=what-would-you-do#88220 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88219&title=what-would-you-do#88219 Author: meow
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 2:19pm

Sorry she told others.. but she might just be excited. I know sometimes my mum says things because she's very excited about them, heck, I do too. Not intentionally though!

Can I ask why you don't want others knowing the name of the baby? Is it incase someone else takes it? We decided to tell everyone the name of ours as we chose it early on (even before we knew she was a girl).]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:19:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88219&title=what-would-you-do#88219 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88215&title=what-would-you-do#88215 Author: Bombshell
Subject: 4568
Posted: 22 November 2006 at 2:14pm

I am so mad, upset and angry...
We told bubs chosen name to mum and also to my grandma before she passed away. Then after the 20 week scan we told DHs mum and dad and said we would probably tell his granddad. However in telling MIL we said that we were not telling anyone bubs name, it was to be a secret and told her who we had told! A total of five people and only close close family. a decision DH and I made together as it made bubs more special.

Well today my SIL calls and tells me she loves bubs name and that MIL told her. Ok I dont blame SIL at all for this as dont think she was told it was a secret.

Well I went nuts at DH and told him to deal with MIL cause if I do I may regret it. I am sooo angry she is telling people when it is our place to do so, we have chosen not to, and we told her it was to be a secret that we were choosing to share with her!

I am ropeable and not sure what to do...she told DH to get me to email SIL and tell her not to tell anyone. Heck its not up to me to do that surely - I think MIL should be telling anyone she has told (im sure SIL isnt the only one!) that she made a mistake! ARGHHHH I hate inlaws!!!]]> Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:14:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4568&PID=88215&title=what-would-you-do#88215