https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Fri, 10 Apr 2026 04:06:51 +0000 Fri, 30 Mar 2007 16:14:57 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=6371 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124391&title=he-said-no#124391 Author: LuluBelle85
Subject: 6371
Posted: 30 March 2007 at 4:14pm

Anyhoo, good luck with your TTCing! ]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2007 16:14:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124391&title=he-said-no#124391 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124388&title=he-said-no#124388 Author: LuluBelle85
Subject: 6371
Posted: 30 March 2007 at 4:13pm

I'm in the Opawa/Woolston area]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2007 16:13:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124388&title=he-said-no#124388 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124377&title=he-said-no#124377 Author: emz
Subject: 6371
Posted: 30 March 2007 at 3:40pm

No, I didn't see it, imagine how many babies will be conceived soon with some couples starting to freak out!

Lou, in Hoon Hay now, was out in Burnham for a couple of years.]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2007 15:40:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124377&title=he-said-no#124377 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124332&title=he-said-no#124332 Author: arohanui
Subject: 6371
Posted: 30 March 2007 at 1:30pm

I'm glad its all working out for you - did you see the feature on Campbell Live about how women are "ready" earlier than men?

But this was telling men that they have a body clock too, and that their "boys" aren't as effective as they get older - and the doctor pretty much said that if someone is in a relationship, they should have babies early on rather than later!

Interesting watching...]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2007 13:30:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124332&title=he-said-no#124332 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124152&title=he-said-no#124152 Author: LuluBelle85
Subject: 6371
Posted: 30 March 2007 at 8:26am

Hehe thanks!

Yeah I just moved to chch a couple of months ago.

I have PCOS too

Hubby and I have been ttc for about 18 months (I'm almost 22)

Thanks for the comment about the ticker

Where in chch are you?]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2007 08:26:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=124152&title=he-said-no#124152 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123959&title=he-said-no#123959 Author: emz
Subject: 6371
Posted: 29 March 2007 at 5:15pm

Yea, we are. Are you too? I love your weightloss ticker, what a positive encouragement for you (and for others!)]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2007 17:15:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123959&title=he-said-no#123959 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123895&title=he-said-no#123895 Author: LuluBelle85
Subject: 6371
Posted: 29 March 2007 at 3:08pm

Awesome news chick!

Are you in Chch?
]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2007 15:08:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123895&title=he-said-no#123895 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123242&title=he-said-no#123242 Author: Skyflame
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 11:25pm

I am glad that you managed to talk it all out and sort out a solution. All the best for TTC and hopefully we will hear you are preggers before to long.]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:25:17 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123242&title=he-said-no#123242 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123198&title=he-said-no#123198 Author: tropics
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:30pm

Good stuff Emz All the best!]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:30:42 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123198&title=he-said-no#123198 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123196&title=he-said-no#123196 Author: busymum
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:30pm

Wow what a quick turn around! I'm glad you'll be able to try for a baby Now here's hoping for a quick BFP and safe pregnancy!]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:30:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123196&title=he-said-no#123196 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123190&title=he-said-no#123190 Author: noodle
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:22pm

Yay great outcome emz how exciting! good luck and sending you lots of baby dust!
As Jess said come over to the waiting to ovulate and 2ww threads see you there    ]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:22:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123190&title=he-said-no#123190 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123163&title=he-said-no#123163 Author: lil_miss
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 7:44pm

All the best Emma :)]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 19:44:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123163&title=he-said-no#123163 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123144&title=he-said-no#123144 Author: Freesia
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 6:52pm

Yay Emz, that's great news. With those conditions it would be better to start as soon as possible and I'm glad you worked it out. Good luck to you both ]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:52:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123144&title=he-said-no#123144 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123138&title=he-said-no#123138 Author: Guests
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 6:43pm

Thats awesome news chicka im glad you were able to talk to him about it and came out with an awesome conclusion! Good luck TTC and make sure you join us in the waiting to ovulate and 2 week wait threads ]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:43:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123138&title=he-said-no#123138 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123134&title=he-said-no#123134 Author: peachy
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 6:05pm

Oh thats great to hear Emz, sending you lots of "baby thoughts"!!

PS I remember you from NZWP, I had the same forum name over there too!]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:05:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123134&title=he-said-no#123134 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123132&title=he-said-no#123132 Author: emz
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 5:59pm

Thanks for everyone's replies!

Well, DH and I talked last night. I have PCOS and a prostratic something or rather (ie. I have labour contractions constantly and the blood supply to my uterus cuts off - possible m/c chances), so I laid down to him all my career and baby options, as that really affects me (the career, that is) more than him. He all of a sudden said, "right then, we better get on with it!" So, we are officially TTC as of last night!

I worked out our finances and we worked out that we won't be any worse off, so that's a plus. Thanks so much for all of your help, I was so upset, now I'm just beaming!]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:59:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123132&title=he-said-no#123132 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123118&title=he-said-no#123118 Author: Chovynz
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 5:31pm

Well from a guys POV, it is scary.
Both to get married or to have kids. I'd say he's got cold feet. But, realise that he's probably been thinking about it all this time. Often us guys will have thought about it 95%, decided, then we talk about it only 1-5% if that makes any sense.

Unlike you women who talk about it 80-95% & decide while you're talking.

I'd gently guide him through how you can financially support another child. He'll probably change his mind about kids once he's got one.

Hope this helps.]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:31:01 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123118&title=he-said-no#123118 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123117&title=he-said-no#123117 Author: kebakat
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 5:27pm

There is also lots of ways to save money on the costs of having a child, like going cloth rather than disposable etc]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:27:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123117&title=he-said-no#123117 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123062&title=he-said-no#123062 Author: busymum
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 3:13pm

Don't forget if you are on a low-mid income you will be entitled to Family Support (AKA Family Tax Credit) once you have a baby. There are calculators on IRD's website.]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 15:13:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123062&title=he-said-no#123062 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123024&title=he-said-no#123024 Author: Freesia
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 1:53pm

Ditto, This was our thinking too and 5 years down the track waiting to be more financial ready, we are absolutely no better off. I wish I hadn't wasted all that time for nothing now. Still might pay to check with your DH to make sure that it is the financial aspect worrying him. He may be worried about other things and using money as the easy cover.]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:53:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123024&title=he-said-no#123024 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123021&title=he-said-no#123021 Author: kebakat
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 1:47pm

I agree with Skyflame, I doubt you will ever be in the perfect financial situation. DH wanted to save for a while before we had kids but reality is that we would have found something else to spend that money on. If he wants to wait for the perfect financial situation he will be waiting forever, there will always be something that comes up. ]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:47:12 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123021&title=he-said-no#123021 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123001&title=he-said-no#123001 Author: Skyflame
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 1:16pm

I agree Deez. There never is going to be the perfect financial situation (unless you win big in lotto) to start a family but you need to work things out as to whether you could adjust. It can be very daunting for men to think about having to change their finicial habits to support a family and also whether they are even ready. I think you both need to have a big talk about your fears and decide whether now is really right for you, or set goals for when you are aiming for.]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:16:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=123001&title=he-said-no#123001 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122855&title=he-said-no#122855 Author: Deez
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 9:08am

Lulu wrote: To be fair, I think that for a man, the weight of the financial responsibility tends to weigh heavily, as I believe they think it is primarily their responsibility.

I totally agree with that statement. JK and i have been through some ups and downs financially but 8 months on and we have finally got things sorted....In saying that there is never a right time financially to have a baby people just adjust their spending habbits.

Good luck i hope you are able to have a bubba soon....
]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:08:45 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122855&title=he-said-no#122855 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122832&title=he-said-no#122832 Author: Lulu
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:31am

It's so hard when you have decided that the time is right but your DH doesn't agree. To be fair, I think that for a man, the weight of the financial responsibility tends to weigh heavily, as I believe they think it is primarily their responsibility. As Jess says, you do have nine months to prepare once pregnant - but that doesn't always work out if you are really sick, need bedrest or have a premmie baby. Finances are not the be all and end all, but I guess the more secure you are, the more choices you will have with regards to being able to choose whether to be a stay at home Mum (or not) and when to extend your family further.
I would get your DH to define what he means by 'financially ready'. Otherwise there is no finite timeframe to work to, which would make it difficult for you as I know for me I need to know exactly 'when' things will happen!
Good luck, I hope you get it sorted.]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 08:31:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122832&title=he-said-no#122832 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122829&title=he-said-no#122829 Author: Peanut
Subject: 6371
Posted: 27 March 2007 at 8:29am

Hey There,

I can fully understand where you are comming from and posted the same thing about 2 weeks ago and got some great advice.
I can also say that we are now actively TTC.
The post was called - TTC and Partners and I will bump it up for you.
Good Luck and hang in there.

]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2007 08:29:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122829&title=he-said-no#122829 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122768&title=he-said-no#122768 Author: busymum
Subject: 6371
Posted: 26 March 2007 at 8:57pm

Awww I feel for ya but don't have any advice I'm sorry ... I just know that guys find it really daunting to have the prospect of someone so dependent.

Do you have fertility issues or were you just concerned that you might have? Some women get pg quite quickly but it sounds like you might have had Endo or something and a Doc's advice.

]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2007 20:57:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122768&title=he-said-no#122768 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122766&title=he-said-no#122766 Author: Guests
Subject: 6371
Posted: 26 March 2007 at 8:54pm

PS Happy Birthday Chicka i hope you still managed to have a good day!]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2007 20:54:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122766&title=he-said-no#122766 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122765&title=he-said-no#122765 Author: Guests
Subject: 6371
Posted: 26 March 2007 at 8:54pm

Have you explained the problems that you face with TTC? Has he taken into account it takes 9 months for the baby to arrive so thats the AT LEAST that you would need to be financially ready? If you have fertility problems which it sounds like you do there isnt really any time to wait.

Most of the time the men use the money excuse if they are actually scared of having a baby. Maybe you both need to sit down and have a really really really good talk and maybe come to some kind of compromise.

Im not overly much help coz when my DH said that to me i was mean and said that if i had of known he didnt want kids early like i said i had of i wouldnt have married him. That got him into shape quickly and you know what? He doesnt regret it one bit!

Im so sorry that your going through this you so dont need it but we are all here to help you and for you to rant to us

]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2007 20:54:13 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122765&title=he-said-no#122765 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122704&title=he-said-no#122704 Author: emz
Subject: 6371
Posted: 26 March 2007 at 5:37pm

Ok, DH and I decided last year that after March, we would be TTC. Well, last night (the night before my birthday He decided to drop the bombshell that he doesn't think we're financially ready. Well that's just great because now I have to completely change my study/working plans and all I hear from my family is "when's the baby shower?!" Someone said it to me today and I almost cried, because it means so much to me to be a mother (after always being told I probably wouldn't have kids).

Other than explaining to him that we can actually afford it with a few simple adjustments, what can I do? It's so sad that one person can just decide the fate of the next few years without consulting their wife!

Don't get me wrong, I love my DH to bits, but the doc (and me) wants me to have kids by mid-20's so I can have a hysto. I'm 21 now, and if we have to go through IVF or something (who knows, but you've got to have a contingency plan), I could be 30 by the time I have kids. That would be my worst nightmare! Any advice, words of encouragement? Thanks    ]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:37:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6371&PID=122704&title=he-said-no#122704