https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Fri, 08 May 2026 05:37:16 +0000 Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:46:19 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=6945 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135497&title=new-baby-envy#135497 Author: Maya
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 8:46pm

Eek Roksana, that's not very nice! I'm sure Zaara will cope fine, Maya was/is totally besotted with her baby sisters.

We did have a few 'adjustment' issues, not jealousy so much as attention-seeking behaviour which I think was fair enough given that the gremlins quite literally wreaked havoc on poor Maya's life from the day they were conceived. I remember lying at Birthcare almost resenting the babies for taking me away from Maya.

I've also worried about loving one or other of the girls better or more than the others, but I've discovered that all three of them need very different things from me, and that I love them all equally, but in their own way. Maya is so much like me in that she is bright and independent and creative. Sienna is my wee entertainer, she commands an audience and attention whatever she does. And Mercedes is quite emotionally needy, she's my snugglebunny and needs constant reassurance that I'm here and I love her.

You'll find your own rythym once wee Astin arrives, and then you'll be offering advice to other soon-to-be second time round Mums, coz its a worry we all have!]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:46:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135497&title=new-baby-envy#135497 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135431&title=new-baby-envy#135431 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 6:26pm

I pulled my sister around by her ears when she was a newborn. She was just like my dollies .]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 18:26:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135431&title=new-baby-envy#135431 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135405&title=new-baby-envy#135405 Author: Roksana
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 5:20pm

Awww...so cute!!

I sure hope that this will be the case with us too.....

I had a friend whos first born picked up the new born and placed it in the rubbish bin (because he didnt want a new baby!!) I'd hate to fish my child out of rubbish bins...LOL]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 17:20:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135405&title=new-baby-envy#135405 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135397&title=new-baby-envy#135397 Author: busymum
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 5:15pm

Yeah Briona was really upset when I picked up someone else's baby and was 6mos pg, that got me rather worried! But she loves Krystiana... to pieces sometimes I fear ]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 17:15:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135397&title=new-baby-envy#135397 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135344&title=new-baby-envy#135344 Author: Roksana
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 2:30pm

Teresa, I was thinking that I will involve her but man she is such a jelous type, it scares me at times. Even my Hubby mentioned to me that she reacted the same was hen he picked up one of our friends new baby......hmmm...he is worried too.

Oh well I guess we will see when the time comes. I am hoping that because she will be a bt older and more understanding (she understands alot now) that I can prepare her from the beginning.

Here is hoping! ]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 14:30:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135344&title=new-baby-envy#135344 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135265&title=new-baby-envy#135265 Author: busymum
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 12:57pm

Roksana if you can involve her in the planning process (patting mummy's tummy at mw appointments etc) and afterwards (taking dirty nappies, giving baby cuddles), it will be very different for her and she will probably enjoy being such a big helper for "our" baby.]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:57:36 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135265&title=new-baby-envy#135265 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135242&title=new-baby-envy#135242 Author: BaAsKa
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 12:37pm

Thats a good idea mummybecks because Bay already loves building and digging outside with dadda and then i go out once iv done the housework (whatever it is as there is always something!!) and Bay and i feed the chicken so maybe i can substitute the housework for feeding Astin and Bay will be none the wiser ]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:37:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135242&title=new-baby-envy#135242 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135179&title=new-baby-envy#135179 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 11:15am

Amber I think that if Josh was a girl Andrew would of been more jealous as we would of been bombarded with presents as she was a girl. He'll be fine and so long as he is given his special time it'll be fine. Andrew spends time with DH outside "building" while i'm feeding Josh on the weekends and he loves that attention he gets from his dad and then once Josh is back in bed he spends time with me.]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:15:29 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135179&title=new-baby-envy#135179 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135116&title=new-baby-envy#135116 Author: Roksana
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 10:01am

Ok I have a question on the similar line.

I am planning to start trying Aug/Sep this year, and if all goes well then I would have another baby Mid next year.

Here is the thing: I go to Zaara's day care every lunch time to B/Feed her and there are many kids there who come up to me and want me to pick them up or come up to me and just sit on my lap etc....Zaara just hates that. she screams MINE....and pushes the kids away. She also starts wingging untill I put the other child down.

Is she going to be the same when I have my next? She would be 2years + by then. I am starting to worry. ]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 10:01:59 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135116&title=new-baby-envy#135116 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135109&title=new-baby-envy#135109 Author: BaAsKa
Subject: 6945
Posted: 24 April 2007 at 9:50am

LMAO!! busymum - we did try to have another boy we wanted another boy so screw them!!! lol but yes its not like we chose it! if only it were that easy! ]]> Tue, 24 Apr 2007 09:50:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=135109&title=new-baby-envy#135109 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134761&title=new-baby-envy#134761 Author: busymum
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 3:31pm

Hi Baysmum, before I had Briona I struggled with the same jealousy/fair attention -type concerns that you are right now. My biggest question was, I know Hannah so well but will I ever be able to love baby #2 as much? After Briona was born, it took a little while (couple of months) but one day I suddenly realised that I did love her just as much but it was expressed very differently, they are quite different little kiddies.

I still sometimes wonder about their perception, Briona likes more cuddles and Hannah prefers to do things together or chat. So I sometimes wonder if Hannah feels left out of cuddles or vice versa. But I guess that's just one of the things that goes on when you're a mummy and trying to be the best you can for your kiddies.

baysmum wrote: My DHs family think that Bay isnt going to handle having a brother and that he wouldve been better off with a sister due to jelousy issue!!

Oh sorry family-in-law, but we didn't exactly *try* to have a second boy!!!!! ]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 15:31:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134761&title=new-baby-envy#134761 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134740&title=new-baby-envy#134740 Author: BaAsKa
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:55pm

I guess i went a little off the subject there but i thought it went hand in hand with the jelousy thing.
I dont think i will be comparing them at all because Bay is such an awsome kid!!! i cant even say enough of it!!! hes never been a problem and has always been a great sleeper so its not like he was a hard child i think it was more the opposite - he slept too much so i wasnt able to force a bond as i was also unable to breastfeed him so didnt get that either. So i feel like i might pull favourates by being able to feed Astin, get close to Astin etc and its not like i want to make up for it with Astin i just want to be as close to both my boys and i dont want Bay thinking im favouring astin

Ok sorry for wining! blubber over...]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:55:11 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134740&title=new-baby-envy#134740 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134723&title=new-baby-envy#134723 Author: mum2emj
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:39pm

i always thought i was had a closer bond with jade- i dont know why? but i dont, if that makes sense?!!! all 3 girls are sooooooooo different that there are things about each that are really special and have different reasons why i am "drawn" to them.
jade is a very caring girl, emma has so much life/energy oooh her smiles and cuddles melt me and kayla she is still so little but i love her smiles and cheekiness, and at the mo her innocence!!! lol.

you didnt sound horrible either by the way- normal feelings to have. im sure that things will be great.
even if you do find youself with more of a bond for astin there will always be things about bailey which make him just as special and you cant take that away. ]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:39:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134723&title=new-baby-envy#134723 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134720&title=new-baby-envy#134720 Author: jack_&_charli
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:37pm

we've never had any issues with jack and charli either. i was actually very surprised at how well jack's coped with the changes in our family.
my parents were worried that he wouldn't like having to share granddad but he has been ok so far
jack is really great with charli, he's been feeding her bottle to her lately which is so cute!
you can never be sure how kids are going to react to one thing or another, but just giving bailey his mummy and daddy time will make a difference ]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:37:26 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134720&title=new-baby-envy#134720 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134719&title=new-baby-envy#134719 Author: mummy_becks
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:37pm

There is 2 years and 10 months between Andrew and Josh. Andrew at first yes was a little jealous but that lasted about 3 days and then he was fine with him. He is my "helper boy" and gets the wipes and nappies for me when I change Josh's nappy in the lounge. He is very caring with Josh and when he cries he snuggles up to him and says "its ok little boy" its very cute. If anything Andrew doesn't like to share Josh with his Grandad (my dad).]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:37:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134719&title=new-baby-envy#134719 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134714&title=new-baby-envy#134714 Author: BaAsKa
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:31pm

hehe thanks mum2emj i feel heaps better iv always been worried about this as i have never been close to Bailey as horrible as it sounds i was just never able to form a close bond with him and now hes a total daddas boy!! and i just feel like a babysitter!! so im worried that i might be closer to Astin than Bailey and that may cause some probs with Bay...are you closer to 1 child than the other 2? sorry i know it is a horrible question ]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:31:28 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134714&title=new-baby-envy#134714 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134706&title=new-baby-envy#134706 Author: mum2emj
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:12pm

hello!!! heres how i have found it your gap about 3.5 years?
jade and kayla are 3 years 10 monthish apart- same sex (obviously!!) and jade is FANTASTIC with kayla always has been. she is a great sister who loves to help out.
i think there will always be jealousy to some point any attention taken away from a child will make for a little jealousy only natural- but if you can just spend one on one time with bailey it helps a lot, i think they do understand that there is love to share from mummmy and new baby
i dont know if jade having emma in between helped jade beas accepting? maybe?
I'm sure he will be fine- hey a little bro would be cool for bailey
]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:12:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134706&title=new-baby-envy#134706 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134700&title=new-baby-envy#134700 Author: BaAsKa
Subject: 6945
Posted: 23 April 2007 at 2:04pm

For all the mums out there that have more than 1 child (or any with one or none but stories to tell ) how did your first born child react to a new baby???
My DHs family think that Bay isnt going to handle having a brother and that he wouldve been better off with a sister due to jelousy issue!! but im not so sure as he has never been the jelous type and is always asking for his little brother to hurry up and come out to play!

So have any of you had any probs with jelousy whether it be same sex or opposite??? ]]> Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:04:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6945&PID=134700&title=new-baby-envy#134700