OHbaby! Forums : In Memory https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Wed, 08 Apr 2026 19:31:18 +0000 Thu, 11 Aug 2005 20:56:46 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=829 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[In Memory : Sorry to hear of your friends...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13299&title=in-memory#13299 Author: AlyAyde
Subject: 829
Posted: 11 August 2005 at 8:56pm

Sorry to hear of your friends loss!]]> Thu, 11 Aug 2005 20:56:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13299&title=in-memory#13299 <![CDATA[In Memory : Ok! so my baby now has a 75% survival...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13280&title=in-memory#13280 Author: Roksana
Subject: 829
Posted: 11 August 2005 at 3:18pm

Ok! so my baby now has a 75% survival rate...another 1.5 weeks and it goes to 95%....I like that!

I think I will feel much better then.

I am glad tho that I have reached 28 weeks with out any more trouble (bleeding)...But just like you Emma, I dont know what I would do if any thing happened to her now! I am totally in love with this kicking/punching bub inside me!]]> Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:18:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13280&title=in-memory#13280 <![CDATA[In Memory : Emmas right altho........ a lady...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13279&title=in-memory#13279 Author: Xander&Harmony
Subject: 829
Posted: 11 August 2005 at 3:16pm

Emmas right altho........ a lady i had been talking to on anothr forum had her baby at term but stillborn.shes quite angry with her midwife as she had mentioned bubs hadnt moved at all on the 1st Aug but m/w disregarded it due to overwork and underslept???? babe was born 2nd Aug.anyway babe managed to get cord knotted cutting of oxygen and wrapped round his neck.babe was a healthy 6pd smthing.I feel so sad for mum n dad to go thru tis.]]> Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:16:52 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13279&title=in-memory#13279 <![CDATA[In Memory : Unfortunately because I spend...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13277&title=in-memory#13277 Author: Maya
Subject: 829
Posted: 11 August 2005 at 3:10pm

Unfortunately because I spend so much time researching pregnancy and parenting for my job I hear far too many stories of still birth and late term complications, it is so heartbreaking. I was so paranoid when I was pregnant with Maya, I know that now she is here she is exposed to many other dangers, but I feel like I can protect her better out here than I could when she was still inside. I used to look at her cot and pram set up in my room and pray that she would be ok, because I would never have been able to cope if anything had happened to her.

However, from all my research I also know that babies carried past 28 weeks have a 75% survival rate, carried past 30 weeks the survival rate is 95% and carried to term the survival rate is over 99%. So the chances of anything going wrong at that late stage are very very slim. ]]> Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:10:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13277&title=in-memory#13277 <![CDATA[In Memory : It is a bit scary when you hear...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13255&title=in-memory#13255 Author: nikkitheknitter
Subject: 829
Posted: 10 August 2005 at 10:10pm

It is a bit scary when you hear stories like that. Hannah had the cord around her neck and her heart rate started sropping... it wasn't as if she almost died, but it did get to the point where the M/W called in the obstetrician. It just scares me to think that there was the possibility that if Hannah hadn't decided to make an entrance at that point, then it could have ended right there I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to her.

Mmmm... very sad now.
I really feel for your friend Ana ]]> Wed, 10 Aug 2005 22:10:10 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13255&title=in-memory#13255 <![CDATA[In Memory : I will second that! ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13229&title=in-memory#13229 Author: newmum
Subject: 829
Posted: 10 August 2005 at 12:29pm

I will second that! ]]> Wed, 10 Aug 2005 12:29:49 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13229&title=in-memory#13229 <![CDATA[In Memory : I know. but like you, I never...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13227&title=in-memory#13227 Author: Roksana
Subject: 829
Posted: 10 August 2005 at 12:24pm

I know. but like you, I never thought that any thing could happen so late in pregnancy...It just freaked me out a bit. I know my baby is fine....and is kicking and punching...but still.....


Here is hoping that all of us on here have healthy and happy babies!! ]]> Wed, 10 Aug 2005 12:24:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13227&title=in-memory#13227 <![CDATA[In Memory : Thanks for your comments guys,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13217&title=in-memory#13217 Author: newmum
Subject: 829
Posted: 10 August 2005 at 11:56am

Thanks for your comments guys, I think I was just really shocked yesterday. I went out in the afternoon to visit Peter at work for a big hug and that made me feel better I also had a m/w appointment yesterday and our baby is fine. I knew it was but it is always nice to hear the heartbeat I can't doubt baby is fine the amount it moves around anyway!! LOL


It is like you said Vick - although I had a m/c it was very early on and although I was really worried this pregnancy, once we got to about 5 months I stopped being so scared, I suppose I never thought that it can happen this late on.

Don't freak out Roksana, I am sure it will be fine. I didn't want to scare you!
]]> Wed, 10 Aug 2005 11:56:06 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13217&title=in-memory#13217 <![CDATA[In Memory : I agree vick, we go from worrying...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13159&title=in-memory#13159 Author: lizzle
Subject: 829
Posted: 09 August 2005 at 1:07pm

I agree vick, we go from worrying about miscarriage, to worrying about birth to worrying about cot deat, to worrying about traffic accidents etc. That poor mother, my heart goes out to her. How sad,but Ana and Roksana, you Have to relax!!! Stress is not good. I klnow it's easier said than done, but stillbirth chnaces are tragical but low. Chances are both your babies will be fine!]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2005 13:07:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13159&title=in-memory#13159 <![CDATA[In Memory : I have just spent the last hour...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13158&title=in-memory#13158 Author: nuttymama
Subject: 829
Posted: 09 August 2005 at 12:28pm

I have just spent the last hour trying to get abby to go to sleep and was getting so frustrated. I will never again complian about being sleep deprived. I guess you take for granted that once you pass the miscarriage danger stage your home free as far as pregnancy goes. That makes me so sad. I really really feel for you guys.]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:28:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13158&title=in-memory#13158 <![CDATA[In Memory : Yah I think I am going to talk...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13157&title=in-memory#13157 Author: Roksana
Subject: 829
Posted: 09 August 2005 at 12:23pm

Yah I think I am going to talk to my M/Wife....OH MY GOD...I am so scared. I am so attached to my baby now...I cant imagine loosing her....I think I will die!

I feel like some one just placed a huge rock on my chest! I can hardly breath....I feel so sorry for both Mum's...and am scared to death!]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:23:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13157&title=in-memory#13157 <![CDATA[In Memory : It&#039;s something to lose a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13155&title=in-memory#13155 Author: nuttymama
Subject: 829
Posted: 09 August 2005 at 12:17pm

It's something to lose a child early on but it must be absolutely devestating to lose a child so late. My heart goes out to them.

As scary as it is for you, you have to stay positive, and keep thinking everything will be ok. I'm afraid to say you spend your whole life worring about your kids, first it's pregnancy, then cot death, then as they grow the list becomes huge. It's always in the back of your mind and that's the best place for it. Otherwise it would just comsume you. It would be nice to be able to wrap them up in cotton wool though. Thinking about you.]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:17:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13155&title=in-memory#13155 <![CDATA[In Memory : Obviously she didn&#039;t write...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13154&title=in-memory#13154 Author: newmum
Subject: 829
Posted: 09 August 2005 at 12:17pm

Obviously she didn't write much but she said they don't know what happened at this stage. Her little daughter was over 8 pounds and perfect she said. I hope they find out what went wrong, maybe they should have induced her earlier? Maybe Amelia (that is what they named their little girl) was tired out and had been in there too long? I don't know, I will keep you posted. I will talk to my m/w today also, ask her what she knows. It is so tragic, the mum is 38 and it was their first baby after trying for sooooo long ]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:17:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13154&title=in-memory#13154 <![CDATA[In Memory : Ana.....my heart just stopped...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13153&title=in-memory#13153 Author: Roksana
Subject: 829
Posted: 09 August 2005 at 12:13pm

Ana.....my heart just stopped for a moment...dont tell me this please....now I cant stop thinking about it...oh my god! Do they know the cause?

Oh my GOD.....oh my GOD! ]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:13:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13153&title=in-memory#13153 <![CDATA[In Memory : I am in a state of shock! One...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13150&title=in-memory#13150 Author: newmum
Subject: 829
Posted: 09 August 2005 at 12:06pm

I am in a state of shock! One of the ladies I had met over the internet here in wellington lost her baby yesterday. The thing is she was already overdue, EDD was 29th July, and went into labour finally on Sunday night. Somehow her little daughters heart stopped beating yesterday during the delivery - they are not sure what happened! How can stuff like this happen!?? It is so unfair and scary - she is the 2nd mum in our little group to have lost a child - the other mum had 3 weeks to go until due date. I am so sad and scared. I never thought about the possibility of losing a baby this far along... Just wanted to share that with someone! ]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:06:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=13150&title=in-memory#13150 <![CDATA[In Memory : It sure is..... ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12791&title=in-memory#12791 Author: Roksana
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 1:36pm

It sure is.....]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 13:36:34 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12791&title=in-memory#12791 <![CDATA[In Memory : That is beautiful. ]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12789&title=in-memory#12789 Author: kbushnz
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 1:29pm

That is beautiful.]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 13:29:05 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12789&title=in-memory#12789 <![CDATA[In Memory : holy moly that made me cry like...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12788&title=in-memory#12788 Author: mumstheword
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 1:24pm

holy moly that made me cry like a baby.. Ive had a m/c and i have never read anything so beautiful.. thank you so much, I loved it, i will share this with my friends that grieve a loss to.. thanks again its amazing.]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 13:24:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12788&title=in-memory#12788 <![CDATA[In Memory : They are beautiful, especially...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12783&title=in-memory#12783 Author: nuttymama
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 12:48pm

They are beautiful, especially the first one. This is one I found on a babyloss website and it makes me cry everytime I read it, however it also gives me great comfort.

WHAT MAKES A MOTHER

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to god today
I asked what makes a mother
And I know I heard him say

A mother has a baby
This we know is true
But god can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay

I just don't understand this, god
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear

I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say

We go the earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear
My mummy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mum
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My mummy set me free

I miss my mummy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillows where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mummy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in my home
And this is where they'll stay

They'll wait for you with me
Until your lesson there is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realise
Until there time is done
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are a special Mum!

Author Unknown

Edited by vick]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 12:48:41 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12783&title=in-memory#12783 <![CDATA[In Memory : These two poems are my favs, the...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12773&title=in-memory#12773 Author: Donna.I
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 11:52am

These two poems are my favs, the first one explains soo much, the second was given to me by a lady through the treasures mag, who supported me after the miscarriage. Some people need to reach out and find comfort from one who has been there. I must admit miscarriage is more talked about now. I guess the net is making it more acknowledged, like many things.]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:52:44 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12773&title=in-memory#12773 <![CDATA[In Memory : There were two positive things...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12772&title=in-memory#12772 Author: nuttymama
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 11:51am

There were two positive things that came out of my miscarriage. One Troy and I had actually split up a week before and we ended up getting back together. When I lost the baby I realised how much he meant to me and now we have added two beautiful children since then to our family. And then two weeks after we lost the baby troy's aunty died. We travelled up to Levin for the funeral and another one of his aunties came over to see how I was doing, she then told me about her miscarriage and said it was the first time she had ever spoken about it, and she finally felt she could grieve for the baby she had lost some 15 years earlier. It felt good to know that in my loss I had helped someone else deal with theirs. Back then it wasn't treated and acknowleged with the respect it is now.]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:51:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12772&title=in-memory#12772 <![CDATA[In Memory : To Lost Children In a baby...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12771&title=in-memory#12771 Author: Donna.I
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 11:47am

To Lost Children

In a baby castle just beyond my eye,

My baby plays with angel toys that money can not buy,

Who am I to wish them back?

Into this world of strife,

No, play on my baby,

You have eternal life.

At night when all is silent and sleep forsakes my eyes

I hear their tiny footsteps coming running to my side,

Their little hands caress me, so tenderly and sweet,

I’ll breathe a prayer and close my eyes,

And embrace them in my sleep

Now I have a treasure that I rate above all other,

I have known true glory,

I am still their Mother!

]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:47:58 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12771&title=in-memory#12771 <![CDATA[In Memory : Just Those First Few Weeks By...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12770&title=in-memory#12770 Author: Donna.I
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 11:44am

Just Those First Few Weeks

By
Susan Erling

For those few weeks -
I had you to myself
And that seems too short a time
To be changed so profoundly

In those few weeks -
I came to know you...
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks -
When I lost you I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks -
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how important and special you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no-one is mourning the passing.

Just a few more weeks -
And no 'normal' person would cry all night
over a tiny unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No-one would, so why am I?

You were just those first few weeks my little one
you darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:44:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12770&title=in-memory#12770 <![CDATA[In Memory : 3 march 1997, was my second miscarriage...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12768&title=in-memory#12768 Author: Donna.I
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 11:42am

3 march 1997, was my second miscarriage and this one ended up being so poignant. For some a miscarriage brings about many changes. That is why mine has remained so strong in my memory.

For those here who have miscarried, you too will underatnd why I chose to bring my youngest into this world as a single mum with four kids, instead of termination, not that it had not crossed my mind, it had, but the memories of the miscarriage were too close to home.

I always say those who do know someone who has had a miscarriage, it is always remembered, it is great if another acknowledges it because a miscarriage is often brushed over because there wasn't a visible child to mourn.

]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:42:38 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12768&title=in-memory#12768 <![CDATA[In Memory : I never m/c but can only imagine...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12752&title=in-memory#12752 Author: Roksana
Subject: 829
Posted: 03 August 2005 at 10:34am

I never m/c but can only imagine what it would feel like. I had a friend who was pregnant 12 weeks, came to our house for a BBQ...3 days later we found out she lost the baby. I found out I was Pregnant a week before that. I did not know what to say to her.....I never told her I was pregnant till much later.

When I had my bleeding at 8 weeks I panicked thinking that I was having a m/c. I tell you what I never felt so horrible...I thought I was going to die, if I lost this baby....So my heart goes out to all who actually went thru this nightmare.

Big ]]> Wed, 03 Aug 2005 10:34:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12752&title=in-memory#12752 <![CDATA[In Memory : Thanks. No it was due oct 04....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12722&title=in-memory#12722 Author: AlyAyde
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 8:57pm

Thanks. No it was due oct 04. She got preg pretty soon after MC]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 20:57:20 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12722&title=in-memory#12722 <![CDATA[In Memory : I assume you mean the baby was...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12719&title=in-memory#12719 Author: Maya
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 8:00pm

I assume you mean the baby was due October 03?]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 20:00:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12719&title=in-memory#12719 <![CDATA[In Memory : That&#039;s a tough one Maria....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12718&title=in-memory#12718 Author: Maya
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 8:00pm

That's a tough one Maria. She definitely won't have 'forgotten' but you could be right, she might just being trying to be tough. She'll probably be really stoked if you give her a call tho, just to let her know that you haven't forgotten. I still go to church every March and light a candle for my angel baby and it's been more than ten years, so I don't think we ever forget. You know your friend best, but if it were me I would probably call just for a chat and see if she brings it up, and go from there. ]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 20:00:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12718&title=in-memory#12718 <![CDATA[In Memory : Okay you guys are great so ill...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12714&title=in-memory#12714 Author: AlyAyde
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 6:53pm

Okay you guys are great so ill ask you what to do about this. A friend of mine was due to have a baby oct 2004 but miscarried at 12 weeks(has since gone on to have twins march this year). So oct 2004 i phoned her just to say i was thinking about her and asking her how she was. Shher. I felt like such a dick. Dont know if she had remembered and was just trying to be tough. So this year i dont know if i let her know i remember or just to let it go and be here if she mentions it. Dont want to make her feel e said she had forgotten about it and id just reminded like ive forgotten, cause i havent........]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 18:53:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12714&title=in-memory#12714 <![CDATA[In Memory : A really close friend of mine...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12710&title=in-memory#12710 Author: Xander&Harmony
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 4:25pm

A really close friend of mine didnt miscarry but did lose her wee girl at 20 weeks (Feb 1st 20030.baby had a few abnormalities (brain began formiong outside the skull,longer limbs than norm,a couple of other things i cant remember).She is such a strong woman because all of this happened to her and her partner aged 18 & 17 respectivly.I was a bit apprehensive at first to talk to her about it all because we were due about 5-6 days apart.even now i still feel bad that i have Xander and Harmony and her angel Sivannah is an angel baby.I have been with her to Sivannahs grave a few times bt feel guilty i havent been more often now with 2 tykes.I no she understands but still doesnt change how I feel.So sorry for your losses ladies]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 16:25:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12710&title=in-memory#12710 <![CDATA[In Memory : I agree with you guys, the worst...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12708&title=in-memory#12708 Author: newmum
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 4:22pm

I agree with you guys, the worst thing was when people said to us "these things happen", "so many people m/c", "better luck next time"... It made me so mad because it was and still is such a big deal for me, I didn't care that it happens lots, all I knew was that it had happened to ME and it was so, so hard. I actually had the m/c on my birthday would you believe! I couldn't talk about it for a while afterwards, not even to Peter, and then one day I just cracked and let out all the grief. I can talk about it now, no problems, but I think it is definitely something I will carry with me forever and it made me so nervous with this pregnancy! This ones a fighter though! ]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 16:22:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12708&title=in-memory#12708 <![CDATA[In Memory : I agree. The worst thing that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12700&title=in-memory#12700 Author: nuttymama
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 4:04pm

I agree. The worst thing that was said to me was "Oh well these things happen for a reason" In your heart you know they do but it's not something you want to hear at the time. My mother brought me a lovely big plant to remember, and it is all about just having a shoulder to cry on if needed. If it has affected them deeply the worst thing to do I think is pretend it never happened. I had a lot of people saying well it wasn't a baby yet. It was and it's not so much what it was or what stage your at, it's what should, anmd could have been. So yeh just letting them know you feel for them and are there if they need you is a great comfort espacially if they aren't ready to talk yet. You guys are great it's comforting to know that other people know where you are comming from and understand.]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 16:04:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12700&title=in-memory#12700 <![CDATA[In Memory : I don&#039;t really know, when...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12697&title=in-memory#12697 Author: Maya
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 3:53pm

I don't really know, when I had my miscarriage I was only 14 and contemplating having a termination, so I really didn't expect to grieve for my baby since it wasn't 'wanted' in the first place. I went into a complete spiral of depression which didn't really lift until I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression four years later.
I didn't tell my parents (Mum found out when she was reading my post-delivery notes after I had Maya 8 years later and Dad still doesn't know) and only a couple of friends knew, and it wasn't something they knew how to deal with. I guess avoiding talk of babies etc. is a good idea, also the whole "it was meant to be" or "there must have been something wrong with the baby" is not helpful. I guess just listening when they are ready to talk, and being there for support is just as important as what you actually say.
]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 15:53:22 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12697&title=in-memory#12697 <![CDATA[In Memory : um its hrd to say wat to say and...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12689&title=in-memory#12689 Author: mumstheword
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 2:35pm

um its hrd to say wat to say and wat not to say, i didnt want to talk about mine to start with it wasnt for a few days that i could speak about it, just be there and listen try not to question on what may have caused it, if theres anything just be friend and an open ear, even try to talk about things that arnt pregnancy, baby related.]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 14:35:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12689&title=in-memory#12689 <![CDATA[In Memory : Ladies, I&#039;ve never had a...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12681&title=in-memory#12681 Author: lizzle
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 1:42pm

Ladies, I've never had a m/c, but my heart goes out to those who have. One question, what do you say to someone who has just had a m/c? And what do you NOT say?]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 13:42:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12681&title=in-memory#12681 <![CDATA[In Memory : Thinking of you Vick! Last March...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12672&title=in-memory#12672 Author: Maya
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 1:26pm

Thinking of you Vick! Last March was 10 years since I lost my first pregnancy at 8 weeks 6 days, and I still think about it. Its hard when everyone else moves on, and seems to forget, but your baby will live on in your heart forever.]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 13:26:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12672&title=in-memory#12672 <![CDATA[In Memory : My heart goes out to you........ Big...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12664&title=in-memory#12664 Author: kbushnz
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 1:09pm

My heart goes out to you........

Big hugs

]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 13:09:57 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12664&title=in-memory#12664 <![CDATA[In Memory : Its something you will never forget,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12659&title=in-memory#12659 Author: mumstheword
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 11:48am

Its something you will never forget, I have lost 4 of my precoius babies between 2000 and now, I am now preg and had trouble already and it brings my memorys flooding back so clearly, they will always be in your heart no matter what or where ever you, for people that havnt been through this it is hard for them to understand, i have a friend that has never had a m/c but thinks abortion is a form of contraeption its so terribly sad she thinks its not your child till your over 14weeks no matter how muh pain she has seen me gothrough she sill dosnt understand because her babies werent loved or wanted like ours were, which we all sadly miss and wonder wat if.... people like her do make me mad, im not anti abortion theres a time and a place for everything but people like her that just dont care and think its contraception mae me terribly sad,
Any way my thoughts are with you... and your angel ]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 11:48:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12659&title=in-memory#12659 <![CDATA[In Memory : I have two Angel babies as well....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12653&title=in-memory#12653 Author: toniellis
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 10:14am

I have two Angel babies as well. My first baby died July 25th 2002. My second died September 25th 2003. Ironic really that my son was born October 25th 2004. Love him soooooo much!!! ]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 10:14:53 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12653&title=in-memory#12653 <![CDATA[In Memory : I went through the same thing...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12648&title=in-memory#12648 Author: newmum
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 7:52am

I went through the same thing last year. I will never forget either. ]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 07:52:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12648&title=in-memory#12648 <![CDATA[In Memory : Big Hugs Vicky . Maybe Alex is...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12643&title=in-memory#12643 Author: AlyAyde
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 7:39am

Big Hugs Vicky . Maybe Alex is your other kids guardian angel.]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 07:39:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12643&title=in-memory#12643 <![CDATA[In Memory : I don&#039;t want to put a downer...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12642&title=in-memory#12642 Author: nuttymama
Subject: 829
Posted: 02 August 2005 at 6:23am

I don't want to put a downer on things as there are lots of lovely ladies expecting, but this time of year is still hard for me and I wanted to share with people who won't tell me to "get over it already" Five years ago we watched our beautiful baby die in my womb at 9 weeks. It took two weeks of scans and seeing the heartbeat slowly stop to nothing once a problem was picked up. The date was August the 4th 2000. A day that is forever ingrained in my mind, when my little fighter who was given a day by specialists to die, tried to hang on and lost. I have found it the hardest when I have had babies, like this year abby, and wonder what my cherub would have looked like. This is a poem I wrote in hospital half and hour after my D&C, I hope others will also share their stories. Sorry but I'm not much of a poet, but here it is.

You were a little gift from god above
A baby we so dearly loved
We have seen your little heart beat
But you're a baby we can not keep
And sadly one we can never meet

But when we look upon a star
We'll remember you are never far
And although we'll miss you everyday
We know we'll meet somewhere along the way

Alex August 4th 2000

Sorry for the bummer girls I just had to share with someone. Everyone else has moved on and forgotten my little angel.

Edited by vick]]> Tue, 02 Aug 2005 06:23:02 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=829&PID=12642&title=in-memory#12642