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Nothing 
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Joined: 05 June 2009
Location: Nelson
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 Posted: 09 June 2011 at 9:35pm |
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I would want a man who earnt enough money to support me and DD, and didnt work crazy long hours. Also someone that would understand me in my hippy crunchy way, and not ridicule my querks. I cant stand people who have to drink every night or a whole box of beer on the weekend. My ex used to do this- "its a social thing" he would say- yeah but what about me? I dont want to have to drive every single time we go out, I dont want to come home to you being drunk and getting all sad and depressed.
I had a look at the internet dating thing, the all look like losers, all try hard young guys, UGH!
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nathansmummy
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Joined: 20 July 2010
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 9:48pm |
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Wriggles where do you meet men then?
Since I paid on Find Someone it actually tells you whether you match in terms of criteria. There were loads of guys who did not want a woman who had a child. It's pretty depressing :( Or overweight I might add. And yet they're not exactly James Bond themselves....
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minik8e
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Taranaki
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 10:11pm |
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I met the guys I have dated on NZD (I've removed myself from there, and did so months ago, as I have come to the conclusion that I'm really not ready for another relationship yet) or through friends.
I want someone who understands that I am not just a mother - I am also a woman, and a pretty cool one at that. I would prefer employed, but it doesn't bother me what they earn. I know that simply finding a job in today's environment is hard enough. I also don't expect them to financially support me staying at home. I'd just like someone who can accept me for me, and love me for who that person is, without expecting me to change.
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julz85
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Joined: 12 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 10:18pm |
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i agree Minik8e . i would never expect another man to support me and my child completly which is one reason i work .i only work part time but earn a fairly ok wage so dp does help out a bit financialy but i would not feel right relying on him 100% .
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Plushie
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 5:02am |
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I wouldnt want someone to support me staying at home with MY child - but if we were to go on and have children together i would like him to be able to support me staying at home then. If that makes any sense.
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james
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 7:38am |
aww Minik8e hit the nail on the head for me  i want a guy who is interested in getting to know me i cant stand it when u are talking to them and all you hear is about them 50/50 would be good a job and or study would be wicked nice person funny as i love to laugh understands that my son is number one and fam are the same and be kind and sweet and good with kids
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<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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Whateversville
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 8:20am |
I just want a guy lol
No, seriously..i'd like him to be employed, have his own car, i'd rather someone without their own children or if they do to be well broken up with their ex, i'd hate to be involved in drama. I'd actually like to find a nice christian guy, but thats pretty much impossible here lol. I'd like a similar age, and I want a guy who wants to get married and have kids one day.
I don't want much do I
I have no idea where I will meet this joker, I NEVER go out. I highly doubt he'll be at mainly music, plunket, playgroup or chipmunks lol
Ohwell..
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newme
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Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 2:35pm |
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This is a funny thread! This is what I have been thinking I want in a man:
Employed
Good looking
Financially stable
Great personality
Good with my kids and understands they will always come first
His mother must be nice (I DO NOT want anymore MIL dramas!)
Obviously he must like staying in, as I can't afford to go out much, plus I need to be around to look after my baby at night!
But I agree with you pillow fight...this guy hasn't turned up to any or my usual haunts - preschool, la leche league etc!
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Plushie
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 3:43pm |
I do kind of live at hope i'll be at playcentre one day and some perfect man will come waltzing in and sit down next to us and be like oh hi 
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 4:08pm |
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Yep - I'm enjoying this thread too lol
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Nothing
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Location: Nelson
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 5:30pm |
Yeah I dont meet guys either, in fact the last guy that I spoke to that wasnt a family member or my ex was an old work mate, and before that probably some store person! I think the only one that would come to your house is a courier or delivery guy and down here they are all old men 
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Shelt
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 8:29pm |
I met my BF on the internet and I am really lucky.
What I was looking for when I was looking:
- employed
- someone with similar interests. I am right into long distance/marathon running and triathlon (have done ironman) and I wanted someone who understood why I liked those things as its a large part of who I am.
- someone who was open to the idea of having kids together.
- someone who understood my DD will always come first.
- a man who had a good relationship with his family and understood how important mine is to me.
And I am so lucky I found him Its not all roses though, its hard being in a relationship with someone who doesn't have kids of his own.
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 9:42pm |
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I have a date this weekend! Quite pleased because I quite like him but have a few misgivings so I don't know....!!
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Flutterby
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Posted: 11 June 2011 at 4:01pm |
Good luck with your date Nathansmummy.
This is what I would like
- be a chef, cause I am sick of cooking dinner.
- happy to stay at home and vege on the couch and watch movies.
- ideally a single dad or at least be good with kids and understand that they are my number one.
- have a good stable job
- non smoker, and know when he has had enough to drink.
- and would be handy if he had a nice big house that he would be happy to share
- and doesn't need s$x to know he is loved and doesn't need it every night.
- and preferably vegeterain as well cause I don't like kissing someone who has just eaten meat.
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BerryBliss
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Location: Manawatu
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Posted: 11 June 2011 at 8:33pm |
Great reading through this.
I've started seeing a guy (like for the last 6wks) a met at a local pub, who doesn't have kids and so far seems ok with me having 4 (i'm not really holding out much hope that this will turn serious as me having 4 is a alot to deaal with) So far he is doing great ticks all the right boxes, like has a great job, his own car, dresses well, doesn't smoke, do drugs and knows when to stop drinking (all things my ex was crap at) gets on well with the kids, i kinda sometimes don't believe he is so nice oh and he is hot as well. I met him when i wasn't looking for anyone, the bar tender introduced us as said we looked great together 
Edited by BerryBliss
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Plushie
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Posted: 11 June 2011 at 8:52pm |
Good luck with your date, Nathansmummy! And Berrybliss (Dammit i wish i could remember your old UN,its on the tip of my tounge..) sounds like a good guy, even if its not a long term thing at least you've gotten back out there, right?
Flutterby, hate to say it but chefs rarely if ever cook at home. And if they do they'll make a hell of a mess.
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mizpix
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Posted: 11 June 2011 at 9:59pm |
Hah, went on a date (well a coffee meet up) with yet another internet man today. Ticks plenty of boxes, but looks wise not my cup of tea. Hmmm do I go out with him again and hope that he grows on me or say NEXT! 
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 11 June 2011 at 11:00pm |
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mizpix who says you have to make up your mind after one date? That's what dating is all about - but keep your options open and date others that come up too.
In saying that, I have to admit that if I'm not attracted to someone that's pretty much it for me. It's important. It's not everything but it's still important for sure and who knows if he will grow on you or not?
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cheekymouse
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Posted: 12 June 2011 at 9:38am |
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just thought i would share a story and give you all some hope that there are still some decent men out there (DP and i have only been together 5 months now). I was totally not expecting to meet someone and i wasn't even really looking.
DP is not my sons father, but treats him like he is
Max and i have picked up a stomach bug of some sorts so we spent last night at home in bed. Needless to say i was vomiting, max was vomiting and it was messy. DP was out at the pub function and i text him, next thing i know he walking in the door, telling me to go to bed and that he look after max and clean up the mess. I couldn't believe it. He sacraficed his much awaited night out with his best friend who had come down from auckland to come look after me and Max.
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newme
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Posted: 12 June 2011 at 11:41am |
 Flutterby wrote:
Good luck with your date Nathansmummy.
This is what I would like
- be a chef, cause I am sick of cooking dinner.
- happy to stay at home and vege on the couch and watch movies.
- ideally a single dad or at least be good with kids and understand that they are my number one.
- have a good stable job
- non smoker, and know when he has had enough to drink.
- and would be handy if he had a nice big house that he would be happy to share
- and doesn't need s$x to know he is loved and doesn't need it every night.
- and preferably vegeterain as well cause I don't like kissing someone who has just eaten meat. |
I can tell you from experience - you don't want a chef! For a start, they NEVER want to cook at home cos it is what they do all day at work, secondly, they are never be happy with your cooking, thirdly, they won't be a vegetarian, and fourthly, they will most likely smoke, and fifthly, won't be staying home watching tv cos he will be working every evening!!!
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