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Gen123 
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Joined: 15 July 2011
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 Topic: How to deal...friends and their littlies...
Posted: 24 July 2016 at 1:40pm |
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So the background is that I'm 10 weeks pregnant (yay!) with baby number 1, but very cautious after 2 miscarriages already. Almost all our friends have children and I hate to say it, but I am struggling being around them sometimes. Even though they know about the miscarriages and that we are trying, I feel an exclusion. Mums go to talk to other mums about kids stuff. The babies are passed from mum to mum and not offered to me. It makes me so sad and pretty incompetent to be honest. I try to keep a brave face and ask about all the kids, but it seems like they are no longer interested in what is going on in my life. Am I making too big a deal of this?
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MountTaylor
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Joined: 19 January 2016
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Posted: 24 July 2016 at 2:30pm |
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Im sorry that you are struggling, Yay on the pregnancy!!
I don't think they are leaving you out of holding babies becuase they think you are incompetent... more likely it is because they dont want it to be difficult on you. One of the hardest things was holding my BF's newborn after suffering another MC.
Its not unusual to struggle around babies/friends who are pregnant after losses.
The further on in this pregancy you get, the more these feelings will likely subside. If you really feel like they dont understand your feelings you probably really just need to talk to them. As mothers, unfortunately our lives/minds are taken up with so many things, and they just may not have realised how much you are struggling?
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TTC#2 - 3rd Letrozole cycle since MC
MC + D&C after SCH - 9w3d March 16
Four letrozole cycles - Oct 2015 - Jan 2016
MC - 8 weeks - October 2015
First beautiful baby girl - born Nov 2014
Miscarriage
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Gen123
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Posted: 26 July 2016 at 2:32pm |
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Thanks! I guess that I just need some reassurance. None of them have had a miscarriage, so I don't think that they understand and I think that it makes them uncomfortable :( I am just trying to get in the best place and keep my fingers crossed for this bubs!
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duckstar
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Posted: 26 July 2016 at 4:31pm |
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I completley understand how you feel. And everything you are feeling is very normal indeed! Trying to be happy for someone and suffering so much yourself is really really hard. Some days will be better than others. All the very best with your pregnancy x
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Janice212327
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Posted: 01 August 2016 at 7:12pm |
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I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. Congratulation on your pregnancy dear!!!
I second MountTaylor. Your friends might be not doing this purposely. It might be because of our perspective. We know we are having difficult time and we want others to comfort us, how much ever we say we are okay and no need of any comfort.
Stop worrying about all these. Take good care of yourself and the baby. Try to be happy and relax because it will affect baby's health.
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Gen123
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Posted: 02 August 2016 at 9:19pm |
Thanks ladies. I have been spending time with friends one on one, which has made me feel better! I think that I am just being super sensitive. Almost 11 weeks now, fingers crossed 
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How to deal...friends and their littlies...