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LittleBug View Drop Down
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    Posted: 27 August 2009 at 3:36pm
OKAY, so the application closes for the Bachelor of Midwifery degree for next year, in two days... here is my application essay so far (below). I haven't finished it yet but can you guys give it a read and give me any advice (if you have time)? Any constructive comments/editing would be appreciated


ESSAY:

ETA: *essay removed - thanks for all your feedback!*

Edited by LittleBug
Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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Mamma2N View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mamma2N Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 4:11pm
I'm not the best person re.editing, but wanted to say that by the looks of things, you are gonna make one heck of a Midwife Jane!

Good on you! And I wish you all the very best
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AzzaNZ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AzzaNZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 4:11pm
I think thats fantastic! If I was deciding I'd pick you!



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susieq View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote susieq Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 4:15pm
yes i think it is fantastic too
and you would make a great midwife
susie
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Natalie_G View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Natalie_G Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 4:41pm
That is great!

I am also applying for Bachelor of Midwifery with AUT.

Who are you studying through, AUT have an informal interview scary.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lovingmummyhood Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by anna_bana anna_bana wrote:

I'm not the best person re.editing, but wanted to say that by the looks of things, you are gonna make one heck of a Midwife Jane!

Good on you! And I wish you all the very best


EXACTLY what I was thinking!!!!
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ElfsMum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ElfsMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 6:58pm
that was brilliant...well said and well worded !:) I'd pick you too!
Mum to two amazing boys!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snappy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 7:06pm
Great work!!
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MummyFreckle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MummyFreckle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 7:51pm

Jane - I think it reads really well, the only thing that I would possibly add is something about this being your choice for a long term future career. Other than that I think its perfect!

Well done - I am sure that they will think you are a perfect fit, and you would make a fabulous midwife!

 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote T_Rex Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 8:00pm
Excellent. Very well written. Go you!
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Rachael21 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 8:22pm
Sounds good are you applying at Otago? Im at CPIT and the programme is exactly the same, its awesome so good luck
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LittleBug View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LittleBug Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 9:13pm
Yup, applying at Otago.

Thanks for all the positive feedback!

Good thinking, SimSam, I will add that in.
And thanks for your PM, Freesia!

If anyone thinks of anything else, let me know!

You have all made me feel really good about it now, yay, that made my day (I was having a stressful one). U guys rock
Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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LittleBug View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LittleBug Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 9:16pm
OH I forgot to ask... do you think I should leave the bit about PND in there, or take it out? Will it count against me do you think? It does say in the application that you have to declare any health issues including mental health... ?
Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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Mamma2N View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mamma2N Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 9:30pm
Definetly leave it in Jane.. There is absolutely no shame and they won't let that count against you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peanut butter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 9:48pm
I think it sounds great and I'd pick you also!! wrt the PND...I'd leave it in. It shows you are honest and not ashamed of it. It also means you will know where someone is coming from if one of your patients suffers too.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote WRXnKids Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2009 at 9:49pm
Id pick you too Jane and have no doubt you will get in.

I say leave the PND bit in it shows you have experienced a wide range of complications for yourself and i think it will make you sound like you will have a better understanding of the experience your future clients will have.

Also if i get round to having #2 around the time you need to attend births feel free to come visit I think you will make an excellent midwife and would be happy to help in any way
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RBsMama Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 August 2009 at 9:54am
Very well written and thought out. I think you'll be a fantastic midwife!

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LittleBug View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LittleBug Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 August 2009 at 11:02am
Awww, thanks guys

I made a few wee adjustments, nothing major, and left in the PND stuff... and wrote a concluding paragraph. All ready to go I think. Now I just have to finish doing my CV and I'm all sorted.

Wrx, you are a sweetie... I would totally love to be involved with your 2nd bubs if the timing is right!

I got my first assignment back for this semester, and got a great mark - totally made my day since it was a very stressful assignment and I felt like I really rushed it. stoked.
Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote anna265476 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 June 2021 at 9:34am
Right now, for me, the most relevant advice is written on the writemyessay website, and you can also find a writer here who can help you create writing paper. For me this is very important because I am not able to write well texts myself and I have problems with grammar. Of course, I know mathematics and other exact sciences well, but I have problems with English.
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