Coffee Group Catchup - Hamilton 03/11/2014

Not sure if I'm doing this correctly for Dorothy to see but here goes.

Most of my questions are sleep related. My son is 17 weeks old tomorrow if that assists with any responses.

1. You mentioned it takes 20 minutes for a baby to fall asleep. Are you meant to sit with them that whole 20 minutes and are you meant to be doing the cupping and engulf hold the whole 20 minutes?

2. With resettling he wakes up at the 45 minute mark and sometimes after resettling he continues to require resettling each 10 mins after that. How long do you continue doing that before you call sleep time over? Or am I doing something wrong?

3. How awake is too awake to resettle (or does this theory not exist)?

4. Our baby sleeps in a bassinette in our bedroom. When he has woken up too much and starts crying he disturbs my husband who needs his sleep for work. Would it be better, from a resettling point of view, to have the baby sleeping in his own room?

5. How do you get your baby to just have a power-nap so they don't go to bed too early at night? Is it just a matter of lightly disturbing them (i.e. pulling back the curtains)?

6. When I am out and about (i.e. at a Plunket course that goes for 2 hours for example with a drive time of 30 minutes each way) my baby just won't sleep. He is quite an alert and active baby when awake. Is there any way I can encourage him to sleep without him disturbing the event too much?

Thanks.

Yes, sorry! Monday was awesome.....it was great to hear your talk on Monday. I had read your article in Issue 24 of OH Baby on curbing catnapping and it was great to hear more on this and other topics!

Thanks!

I could take a pic and email it to you?

Yep sounds like they have the same catnapping issue. I"m about at day 5-ish of trying to change it. Its so frustrating because I get nothing done...   

I'm hoping this works fingers crossed!
Hey Dorothy

I've been trying the engulfing hold and resettling techniques you were talking about with my 7 week old bubs who was a pretty good sleeper anyway, I'm not sure that i'm using the technique correctly as i now can't get him to sleep for longer than an hour during the day.
If you let them settle in your arms is it still ok to put them into their own bed once they are completely asleep? Or if i'm wanting him to sleep in his own bed should i stop with the hold and just use the resettling techniques in his bed??
So kind of go back to putting him down drouzy with tried signs as they happen bang on his hour mark everytime then leave him for the minute and then go and resettle for the minute then leave and continue as you would with him in your arms??? or do you put him to bed then leave if he doesnt settle go to him keep him in his bed turn him on his side and use the resettling techniques until he is asleep then pop him on his back and wait for that 20 mins??

Thanks for all your helpful suggestions
Ginnie

HI Melanie
1. In my experience it takes around 20 minutes for a baby to fall asleep so when you are teaching a baby to self settle its about giving them the right and ability to find their sleep and intervening when you feel it is right.   So for a baby at 17 weeks I would either be doing it in arms or if in the cot following a settling routine like this

Top up and then sleeping bag and into bed
Leave for up to 5 minutes
Comfort - reassure this is cupping, shushing, dummy - it is normally shorter than the leaving time
Leave for up to 5 minutes
Comfort - reassure this is cupping, shushing, dummy - it is normally shorter than the leaving time
Leave for up to 5 minutes
Comfort - reassure this is cupping, shushing, dummy - it is normally shorter than the leaving time
Leave for up to 5 minutes
Stay in the room cupping shushing dummy until he falls asleep.    

Leaving him for up to 5 minutes is not about him screaming at the top of his lungs but ideally is an off/ on cry and it is important you intervene when you feel it is right rather than saying to yourself i cant go in as Dorothy said to wait 5 minutes and you are beside yourself.

2. So self settling is about stopping and starting whereas resettling is about staying in the room cupping/shushing dummy until they go into a deep sleep. With resettling you could be there keeping him asleep for 45 minutes

3.   As they grow I step back and leave them for up to 20 minutes to resettle (around 6 months plus) so if they wake too much its just harder work to get them back to sleep.

4. Personal choice but either dad needs to move or the baby as you are right the dad does need his sleep.   Just ensure you have a good monitor - noise, movement and camera on him and you will feel okay about it

5. Just wake them - however if he is having wake times of around 2 hours and napping for a minimum of 1 1/2 hours he probably doesn't need a band aid nap before the evening routine

6. Just time once he leaves to self settle and resettle it will be easier but I tend to sleep them in my arms when out and about if they wont sleep in their buggy

Hi did you get a copy of the article

Hi Ladies
Thank you for all your questions and hopefully the answers will help you. It was lovely to meet you all at the OHBaby Coffee Catchup.

Remember before you do anything STOP, THINK, and ACT – work out what you are doing, why you are doing, and what you are trying to accomplish and then act.

Remember YOU are the baby’s mum and so listen to your heart and instinct.   Yes, we all don’t do it by the book, or get it right the first time, but you need to make ‘mistakes’ to get it right for you.   It’s a time of learning a little person’s personality and figuring out what works for your home life.

If you have the time I would love to see you pop over to http://www.facebook.com/BabyWithin and 'like' it. You can then keep up with information that I post from time to time or hear from other mothers who write on the wall. Also there is now a “recommendations’ section and it would great to hear your comments.

Please remember as a parent or carer that you should understand and acknowledge that Dorothy is NOT a licensed medical doctor or other licensed medical provider and the information that I share with you has come from experience and working with numerous families and babies and toddlers