Donating Breastmilk - the blues

Hey there,

I'm a long time reader, first time writer! I'm feeling a little blue at the moment and just wondered if anyone else had been through the same thing.

I fed my first through pregnancy until I was a few weeks pp (he was 3 years 3 months when he weaned, I sobbed) and my supply was insane so I started donating milk through my midwives to ladies in the community who were struggling to establish their supplies. (I think I've topped up 15 babies so far)

For the last 7 months I've been exclusively feeding my second son and an 8 month old baby girl by expressing. She was born early and tiny and spent 6 weeks on nicu. She's so gorgeous and lovely and I just adore her.

But lately no matter what I try my pumping output has dropped, she's now being topped up with formula. I have nothing against formula at all btw, and neither does her mum, but I feel like I've let them down! They wanted to get to a year on mostly bm, and if my last week's output is anything to go by, it's not going to happen! I've dropped from 5 litres a week to 2.5 litres a week, in a matter of weeks.

I feel blue!! I don't know if it's the weaning blues, or the 'I suck' blues, or maybe, dare I say it, guilt because I might in fact feel some relief the end is in sight. (I work full time from home and pumping/washing/sterilising is easy another 2 hours on my day).

GAR, hormones, why you got to be so confusing!

So any other milk donors out there who've been here and done it? Any advice to get rid of the feels?

xox