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2girlsmum 
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Joined: 29 July 2010
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 Topic: I’ve created a monster! Help!!!!!
Posted: 24 August 2010 at 1:34pm |
My eldest daughter is 3 and a half. She is a caring sister to my 18 month old and absolutely loves having other kids over to play/going on playdates. She goes to kindy 2mornings a week and has a ball there. My problem is that she CANNOT play alone. When her younger sister is having her afternoon nap, she will follow me all around the house, asking a million questions and wanting to 'help' all the time. Or she will say "look what i can do" "play with me mummy" or she will just hang around doing nothing at all (except slouch on the couch like a teenager) I've tried setting up an activity with her and then slowly disappearing when she is playing, but she lasts about 30 seconds... I love her to pieces, really I do but sometimes it would be nice to have her actually playing with her toys rather than following me around! Does anyone else have this problem? What did you do????? 
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lilfatty
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 3:07pm |
I actually think thats a girl thing .. Isabelle is the same but Elias will happily play by himself. 
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Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
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amme_eilyk
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 3:53pm |
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dont turn down the help while she is offering...she may never offer again
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jazzy
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 3:57pm |
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It may be an age thing as my DS3 who is 4 can be like that. I don't have the answer but I do bribe sometimes as it can be really hard to get things done when you have a demanding shadow.
I have got really organised so I can get most things done before school drop off & I do have sit down times with him to play his things.
Things are better when he has afternoon kindy 3x a week but he has been off sick for the last 3 weeks.
Edited by jazzy
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.Mel
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 5:04pm |
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So why can't you sit down and play with her for awhile. She might just want your company, I'd be taking advantage of the one on one time with her.
Maybe if you do set up activities for her, you stay longer with her, and then just say to her that you are going to the toilet and will be straight back.. and slowly make the time longer. Tell her that she will be fine and she'll see you in a couple of minutes.
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TheKelly
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 5:11pm |
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My daughter is 8 and is still often like that , but then she will tell me "ah, can you go please , your cramping my style " (yeah , shes harsh ) , so when she does want to spend time with me , I try and get her to do things with me that I enjoy too .
With C I think its because she wants entertainment from another person , and im the best on offer ...
With your daughter, due to her age, I think its more a case of wanting your attention ,and I know, it can be exhausting entertaining them all the time, try to do activities you both will like , eventually she will start to prefer to play by herself
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mamanee
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 8:31pm |
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Yeah my son is nearly 3.5 and he can get like that at times. He will even yell from outside HEEEEEEEEEELP if something has minorly inconvenienced him. I usually just go with it, especially when my little one is asleep. We do quite a bit of baking together, or I print paper crafts out from the computer and we colour in or make paper aeroplanes.
Sometimes I will set up and activity, play for a good while, then make myself a coffee and say "mummy is just having a nice hot coffee, but I'm here if you need me" then I go and sit on facebook for a few minutes. It's good for outside play, but if it's raining and miserable, he hates being stuck inside.
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busymum
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Posted: 24 August 2010 at 8:53pm |
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She does need some special time with you each day but it doesn't have to be all the time. See if you can settle her into an activity then say "I'm just going to hang the washing but I'll come back and play with you as soon as I'm done". Come back and return to play the same activity with her and see how that goes. Hopefully she'll settle and learn to understand that you will come back and she doesn't have to keep her eye on you. Just make sure you follow through with what you said. Start with 10 mins and see if you can get her to up 30 mins.
The other thing I think is important is to not only do things that entertain her. She knows where her toys are, so play with her a bit in each morning and afternoon (and I mean a good 10 minute chunk or more, don't be too quick to leave) then say Mummy's going to hang out some washing now, would you like to come with me? Then she can tag along with you. If she's really needing company, she'll stay. If not, she'll get bored quick and go back to play. she'll probably also enjoy baking with you.
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I’ve created a monster! Help!!!!!
