When life gives you lemons...
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Topic: When life gives you lemons...
Posted By: emz
Subject: When life gives you lemons...
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:05pm
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You try and make lemonade, but then that turns out biting you in the ass and you end up feeling like you're going to have a breakdown!
Can things get any worse for us at the moment (sorry venting here). 1. DH has been demoted by being pulled out of a deployment that would have earnt us about 10k and set us up for baby (ie. ALL bills paid off and fixing some things on our house that need to be done) because he's having a baby. And yes, they can do it, it's the army they are better than the law. 2. He is now working 6-7 days a week at 2 jobs just to try and earn enough money to support us. 3. We can't get a boarder in as it seems to be the wrong time of year despite advertising everywhere, hence we're not getting about $100 pw that we are supposed to have to pay for our mortgage (haven't had it since our last boarders left in May). 4. We have to live off bread for every meal for 3 days every fortnight as we can't stretch our budget far enough (and that's after care packages from my mum). 5. DH's car needs $400 spent on it to get its next warrant. 6. We can't afford the specialist treatment my m/w ensures me I need so I'm starting to freak out that something will go wrong And then... DH got home yesterday and his transmission had blown up. Luckily we've been able to borrow one of dads spare cars for the meantime, but it means we will have to borrow up to $1500 to fix it. I've had to start another job (10 hours pw) on top of the 3-4 I already do, and my full-time teaching degree (45-50 hours pw). I'm exhausted and we're both miserable. AND THEN  DH's mum rings up and has the nerve to say "Maybe you should cut your spending and buy less expensive groceries" - Um, the baby kind of needs more than bread to live on, and spending? We get $10 a week each which we both save up to go out to the movies about once a month.
So, when life gives you rotten lemons, I'd love to know how you make lemonade?! Thanks for reading if you still are, I'm just exhausted and feel completely hopeless. |
Replies:
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:12pm
 Life really does suck sometimes, and it seems like you have to get really low (like almost to where you think its the end) before something great happens and you really appreciate how good it can be after how it was. If that makes any sense! After we got married I had 3.5 weeks off work (mostly unpaid as it was a newish job) and DH was self-employed. Then I got preggy and life was tough for a few months (liwing on rice and bread like you), but then everything seemed to turn around.
I really hope life starts to get better for you guys soon. Cant remember where you live, but let us know if theres anything we can do to help.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:18pm
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Sorry you are having a roungh time. I dont really know much about it, but would winz be able to help you out at all? I know you can get a food grant if you prove that you have urgent bills to pay so cant afford food, and they might be able to give you a loan for the bills or something? Worth a try maybe.
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:26pm
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That sucks emz, and yip the army can be ruthless at times. Talk to winz or citizens advice and get any help you can. Talk to the army welfare person for any help they can offer. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:35pm
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I'm with the others it does get tough but it will get better, you should be able to get some kind of assistance through the army surely? ------------- 
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Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:44pm
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hiya
If you are in that much of dire straights, then you should be entitled to a accommodation suppliment from winz. Also like the other girls have said, you will be eligable for a food grant from winz. Have you tried a budget advisor? not because you don't know how to budget, but they may see some avenues that you can use. What about a international student? Ask at the schools or polytechs maybe. Chin up...things will work out ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:54pm
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Another thing which you may want to consider - I know it's not what any home owner wants to have to do, but sometimes situations are just what they are ...
Have you thought about selling your place and moving into Army accommodation (eg. rented house?). You could put capital gains in the bank to earn interest, which would hopefully offset to an extent increases in the property market, adn my understanding is that rent levels for service houses are quite low, and this may give you a bit of breathing room? It probably not what you want to hear at all, and best solution would be the winning lotto ticket numbers, but, well, I have dibs on them 
Take care.------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:55pm
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:55pm
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Thanks for your thoughts ladies, JD we've been accepted through a few language schools, but they've had heaps of problems getting visas for students, so every time we've just about had a student, they've cancelled a week before they were meant to arrive.
Might try Winz, but I doubt because DH is on an average wage they would help, last time I tried about 3 years ago they wouldn't help, but maybe now we've got a mortgage they might. We had an accountant fix our budget last year, and it was fine with the normal day-to-day stuff with money left over for savings, but with one thing after another its just gone downhill. Oh well, chin up I guess, there are people in worse positions than us. I just needed to vent to someone that is removed from the situation. |
Posted By: ffudehtpu
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 1:56pm
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Oh Emz that sucks, just remember alcohol is made from rotting fruit. it just takes a bit longer to prepare than lemonade Lemon plonk???? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 2:25pm
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bummer... but maybe you should look into your budget again and see where you can make some cuts in the interim. and your food budget esp... is where you shop the best place for bargains? are you utilising all the alternatives you can? etc...
i know where we are the supermarket has $10 packs of meat and if i get the mince one i split it in four they always have budget brand stuff for less than 90c a can. anyhooo it will get better... |
Posted By: Faraway
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 2:56pm
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Things will get better. Try to stay positive and see if you can rearrange budget - you need to eat more than bread for you and your bubs! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 3:19pm
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Vodka tastes pretty good with a squeeze of lemon too, even a rotten one I guess!
Big hugs Emz, sounds like you are in a sucky situation at the moment, I hope things look up for you soon. Does the army not have some sort of employee relief scheme? ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 4:48pm
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Do check with WINZ again as they have raised a whole lot of thresholds. Also check for after babe too. Working for Families is relatively easy to get money from.
Good luck!! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 5:48pm
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Thanks again ladies.
Ginger - hmm army housing been there done that, would rather live in a state house quite honestly! As DH nearly left his job after living at work and having to put up with house inspections by horrible army people all the time. We've already tapped into his super and that's what is counted as 'relief' funding. I guess we could cut down our groceries, but we've already cut down from $80 per week to between $50 and $60, which really doesn't feed us that well. Am hanging out for fresh vegies at mums on Sunday (poor woman has to put up with us every Sunday for our only proper meal of the week!  I know where I've got it good!)
On the upside (depending on how you look at it), I just started my new job today and the hours have increased from 10 to 14-16 per week. A lot of work on top of everything, but that's also a lot more pay. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 7:22pm
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shouldnt you be in contact with the specialist team at your hospital...they are free so not sure why that would cost - it will only cost if you go private!
Also look into a mortgage holiday with your bank - can do up to three months - esp when financial probs or bubba etc .....ask for the whole three months |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 7:54pm
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Yea I agree, I thought if you needed specialist care for your pg that that would be publicly funded? It would be good to talk to a budget advisor because they will know whether you are entitled to anything from WINZ (and work for you instead of for WINZ). So they can be quite helpful in that regard. It's unfortunate you can't get a boarder in, would any of DH's workmates jump at the opportunity to board with you guys instead of live in Army housing?
Have you looked on the threads on here about money saving? Be careful about getting that mortgage holiday cause you may need it over the time you are due with your baby. Does this mean your DH now won't be away when your baby is due? Big hugs, when Hannah was due WINZ declined us 3 months of pay because we couldn't prove a measly $200 of income  It was really frustrating but we nutted together and I think we have come through stronger. Try to look out for each other, long working hours and financial pressure is really tough.------------- |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 9:00pm
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Hi emz, just curious as to why you DF got demoted for not going on deployment? I mentioned this to my DF who is in the military (airforce) and he didn't think they could.
He said sometimes the army does things its not legally entitled to do, but nobody questions it. Just a thought. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 9:57pm
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yeah busymum, DH will be here so that's kind of a relief. Re the specialist thing, I've got this condition that sometimes happens, sometimes doesn't, and hasn't happened in a while due to the meds I was on before I was pg. But since I can't prove that its a risk (although my m/w would like me to just so I can get funded) they won't fund me through public. Sucky a!
Fleury - he was doing a job above his rank and getting the entitlements for it, so has been effectively demoted but not lost his rank IYKWIM. Ie is a LCPL doing a CPL's job, now going back to starting at the bottom of the LCPL ladder again. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 21 August 2007 at 10:04pm
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thats weird...not sure if u in akld or not but you would be referred to a spec team and they would decide course of action then...we got half way thru my pg and thought maybe my condition wasnt what we thought etc...and couldnt then prove it as bubba had stretched crap outta the uterus....so in a similar boat....I would ask for a rferral to take place to the team anyways.....
def try the mortgage holiday route at least....we saved heaps by doing that! |
Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 22 August 2007 at 10:38am
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Oh Em - nothing much to say, but to give you a massive hug. We too have had a tough couple of weeks and sometimes it feels like there is no end to the 'lemons' life can throw at you.
The only thing I can think of that no one has said here is - vege garden! And since you own your own place you don't have to ask anyone if you want to dig up the back lawn! Now's the time to dig one in so you have lots of veges for summer and beyond. AND if it's any help...come for dinner at our place! |