Hubbys
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1008
Printed Date: 13 December 2025 at 2:45am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Hubbys
Posted By: mum2paris
Subject: Hubbys
Date Posted: 08 October 2005 at 11:13pm
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I stole this from another mummy site.
We all pretty much know each other and what we all look like, but not the guys that put up with us lolol  Just post a pic of your hubby.Simple as. can be of him now, or when he was younger, or one of both of you.------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Replies:
Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 08 October 2005 at 11:21pm
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k but it not for the faint hearted lmao just kiding http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 08 October 2005 at 11:26pm
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lol. here's one of Mike, with paris when she was 6 months
http://www.MyonlineImages.com">  ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 2:39am
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Okay, here is Lewis and Jake at the park. about a month ago i think
http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 6:05am
This is my Hubby Jamie 
On Our Wedding Day 
And with Bailey 
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Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 9:20am
I am still confused on how to get photos in here - scoured the baby pics topic and I got so lost *Help please*  ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 4:12pm
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if u got to http://www.MyonlineImages.com - www.MyOnlineImages.com and register ra ra ra u can add pics to that site then transfer to this site by clicking on the url code.which is the red box underneath each pic.try it and c if i explained it ok?? goodluck.i am a bit dense when it comes to computers lol ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 4:25pm
| then press paste when you come here. |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 4:57pm
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*Hoping this works*
David (my fiancee) and Arna when we went to the beach a few weeks ago, Arna loves going up and down the sandhills!!  ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 7:09pm
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Yep you got it
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 7:14pm
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gosh trish your husband looks really young...do you mind if i ask how old you both are? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 8:17pm
http://www.MyonlineImages.com">
Our wedding day http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
Peter and Joey today! My cute boys! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: angel
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 9:33pm
Hmmm Ive only got a few recent ones of John but he wasnt looking at the camera... so heres one from 3 years ago on our wedding day... (he hasnt changed much!)
 ------------- Aimee Ella - 5.5 years old! Toby - nearly 3 years old! 
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Posted By: paigesmum
Date Posted: 09 October 2005 at 10:26pm
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It's not the best photo! But its the 2 boys together!
Karen.  ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 10 October 2005 at 10:12am
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Ana...you can tell Peter is Polish....he reminds me of my Grandfather.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 10 October 2005 at 5:06pm
| Wow Ana.. your wedding pic looks so different! You had such long hair! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 10 October 2005 at 5:15pm
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Yah....Ana you looked stunning.....looks like you had a good day. I will try and scan my wedding photo. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 8:28pm
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Willie hates having his photo taken. We went to have family portraits done and he told the photographer he didn't have to be in them because there were enough photos of him already in the police station. I was soooo embarrassed.
But here are a couple I bribed him into... Maya driving her Daddy's truck... http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
Willie and I last xmas... http://www.MyonlineImages.com">  -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 11 October 2005 at 8:47pm
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Haha its the opposite in our lil family!! There are TONZ of photos of David and Arna and only a handful of me and bubs... Im just not photogenic!! ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: Alan Mum
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 11:54am
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ok so the only way to do thid is chage my ticker so here goes
------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Alan Mum
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 12:07pm
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Alan is only one day old in this picture seem's we need more Daddy photo's. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 2:38pm
first one is with Jayde, the next is on our wedding day
 ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 3:00pm
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Wow Maria, I can't get over how much both Alyssa and Jayde look like you! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 3:43pm
hee hee, Thankyou, but im not sure if they would thankyou, im secretly praying they dont get their dads nose.  ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 12 October 2005 at 7:30pm
We are both 24
He is 4 months younger
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gsmum wrote:Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 11:46am
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This is our little family the day after Alex was born...
http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
Man I look so fat & spaced out! Yay for morphine  lol!
I couldn't get any of my other pictures to load up for some reason....  ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 2:18pm
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I couldnt get the pic to just show up so i linked it
http://storage.msn.com/x1pVnZjdBBvj2Kdl-E1FG5VRv-Whjz_Ig_zCZQk4QK2hu3WywzLka5ajOcn0iir45uI2oQAuCbzkC0t9NfHZJ8njpHzncb9W6V6X8fxgPRPXLrlFO5hqtULiOmkfg9W_fqn - My Soon to be Hubby |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 6:49pm
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LOL Maria I prayed for the same thing - Willie has the bush Maori flat nose LMAO! Maya only kind of got it - hers is more of a button than a flat nose. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 9:41pm
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Emma,I saw the pic of u n willie and remembered the story bout when u found him crying and I thought gee he sooooooooooo looks like a tough strong Maori man I wouldnt of believed he broke down like he did !!!!!! just goes to show hes a giant softie huh!!!! ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 8:14am
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The nose thing is scary hey. Well i think it is as kids nose shape change. There a photos of rob as a little kid and he looks like he has a button nose as well. I was on here last night cracking up. Rob came in to see. And he goes i cant beleive you put that pic on of me. The colour is bad because its a pic of a pic. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 14 October 2005 at 8:41am
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Peter is chuffed to be on here, lol, he grinned no end when I showed him. He liked seeing the other dads too. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:03pm
http://www.MyonlineImages.com">
This is us on wedding day.....I wonder if this works? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:10pm
| I love your wedding dress Roksana!! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:13pm
Yah us Indians (Or half Indians in my case)....We have to wear Red or maroon for weddings...and loads of loads of gold! I refused to wear 5 KG of gold since my dress was 4.5kgs........the gold you see on it is gold plated thread....a bit too much you think??? LOL! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:14pm
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Oops I just realised that the pic is way too big...how do I make it smaller??? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:30pm
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wow, gold plated thread? was that as expensive as it sounds? ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:36pm
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yeah i love ur dress too ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:38pm
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lol.....We got it directly from India and cost my parents $1900...I think. And in Indian standard it is very expensive....but it is also hand made so....
Dad always says to me....such a damn expensive dress and you only wore it once.....I doubt I would wear it again!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:41pm
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i love all the colourful saris(sp?) indian ladies wear and the gorgeous jewellery ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:43pm
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so do i, the little girls i nannied for had some beautiful dresses, they always looked gorgeous dress up. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:48pm
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I dont really like the Indian dresses and never wear Sari's.......a bit too much for me. Most of them are too heavy...sari is too difficult to wear and always feels like its going to come off.....and just plain to bling bling for my taste....but when you go to a wedding and every one is wearing it, you just have to as well..... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:50pm
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i guess these days women tend to wear western clothes for everyday and just dress up for important occasions?? ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 4:56pm
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Well yah.....But you do see those odd few Punjabies who wear indian clothing every day.....to be quite honest even we stare at them and go.....good Lord!!!!
But most modern Indians these days wear western clothing and wear sari and those kinda things for weddings etc....You can buy these in NZ but so damn expensive!!! I have a few and keep recycling them.....he he ha ha ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 5:56pm
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Beautiful Roksana! ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 7:46pm
| i guess it's like the kimonos here. People don;t really wear them a lot these days. even for weddings brides are choosing western dresses. For summer, me and my girlfriends wore yukata which are summer kimono.,....bloody hot things, and tight! Couldn't wait to get it off. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 8:12pm
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What a lovely photo Roksana
Slightly off-topic, but have a question re hubbys/partners How did things change between you once your babys arrived? ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 9:13pm
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For the most part things weren't too bad between me and mike first time round, but there was a little tension about just silly things, finances, me not wanting "relations" as much and him feeling unwanted and a bit useless sometimes. I think it all starts in labour when they realise that this situation they can't control - they can't do anything about your pain, and it keeps going once baby is here - they can't soothe baby like you can (if you breastfeed) so they can feel a bit useless and like you are the one that knows everything and get a bit resentful towards you and baby. But just keep reminding him that you are learning too and let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.. no matter how much you just want to take over or say "do it THIS way" lol.. even if it means having to change clothes completely cos nappy has leaked from the way he put it on. lol..
nah - it's not too bad.. just remember you are a team - so when baby is screaming, don't turn against each other however easy it is... work as a team and take turns and you'll stop each other going nuts. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 11:02pm
http://www.MyonlineImages.com">
This is Rod and our wee boy Jacob 3 weeks ago, they watching tv in bed on a sat. morning ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 11:03pm
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Also Roksana, you looked beautiful on your wedding day! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: paigesmum
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 8:23am
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Roksana you looked beautiful!!
Love the photo of jacob and his Daddy in bed, cute!! Janine we were pretty much the same, as you said if you work as a team it makes it alot easier!! Blake wasn't a scearming baby but when he was smaller he got a nasty cold and kept choking which scared the you know what out of me, and he was there when I just had to hand him over to take a breath! Karen. ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 9:31am
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Gorgeous Roksana! You guys make a great looking couple huh?
Very cute photo of Jacob and daddy too 
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 11:22am
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Thanks guys....I think we are not too bad together...mind you I am much shorter in person....he he....the miracle of high heals....(I am 7" shorter than him)
He has lost alot of weight since then and so did I but I put it all back again after I got pregnant....Oh well! I am a bit of a control freak Janine, so most probably end up taking over....arrrgggg but I must try not to do that.....I am hoping that I will be too tired to care how he puts the nappy on....LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 1:28pm
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I think with that comment i made I was more meaning that by lettin ghim learn for himself he will become confident and more willing to help - if you take over, he just get's the idea of "why bother, i do it wrong anyway she just takes over or does it over again" and in the end.. you'll end up with no help at all and wonder "why won't he do things for me and baby?" I can only speak from my experience, but with Paris, mike did everything for her nearly for the first little while.. well, when he wasn't at work anyway.. and he has a great bond, and still does alot with her. with Ayja, he has found it hard to bond, hasn't done much at all until iwent on placement and that affected him alot cos he had no idea about what she did and didn't like in terms of how HE needed to care for her.. i could tell him what works for me but both parents always find different ways of caring for baby and babies learn that too. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 1:42pm
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Sometimes I feel I really have to bite my tounge, because if I keep critisising, he won't help out. I know he feels like he has 2 left feet, and that I can solve all the problems because I have "booby", but sometimes I just have to tell him to suck it in!! It is hard to relinqish "control" but it is better if he helps from the start. Rod has told me he feels left out at times, but in the beginning it is very hard to focus entirely on the 2 people you love most in the world(and the dog), so baby tends to get it all because s/he is so helpless. Just remember its hubbys baby as well!!! (so easy to lose sight of!) ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 1:56pm
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Atish told me that he wants to be involved in every thing.....which is sweet.
We were talking last night as to how our life will change in few weeks, we will have a baby, who might cry every hour for a feed. I told him that he wont have to get up for the first 3 months as I will be at home with baby and he has to go to work....he said no way, I will have to get use to it, so we do every thing together......Oh how I love him...... 
I think he is going to be a great dad but as I said...I am already feeling so protective about my baby that I dont know how I would react once she is here?!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 1:57pm
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Here goes:
Josiah at an hour old: http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
Kiya on the trampoline last week: http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
Josiah last week: http://www.MyonlineImages.com"> 
All of us: http://www.MyonlineImages.com">  ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 3:15pm
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Becca... Awww your family is so sweet!!! You guys look great
Roksana... You'll be fine I'm sure. We are here to support you too! Hubby might have some time to learn about your little girl when you come on here to update us!! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 18 October 2005 at 3:21pm
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that true...I do spend loads of time on here...he he ha ha...I am an addict!!! he he ha ha ha ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 19 October 2005 at 2:17am
| it's kinda embarressing when the moderator says you can't post anymore as you've exceeded the limit of posts in the time frame... |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 19 October 2005 at 9:11am
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Never had that Liz...I must be slow! he he ha ha ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 19 October 2005 at 10:47am
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I was mortified the first time that happened to me, but I am used to it now ROFL ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 10:48am
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Hey ladies, just a question/moan?
I have started working 2 nights a week for about 4 hours a night, to get out of the house and have some "me" time and earn some pocket money so I don't feel so bad when it costs $135 to get hair done next time (another looonnnggg story). Money isn't the issue, its just for some me time. Anyway, Rod is great with Jake, but I think it is in small doses, he panics when jake cries or has a tanty, and gives him to me to sort out. Hence the problem. Jake "misbehaves" (although how a 5 month old baby misbehaves on purpose is beyond me) for him, and ends up crying for hours and Rod rings me to come home, which I do, and Jake stops crying the minute I have him, so I sort him out and get him into bed. This causes HUGE rows, he thinks I judge him because I ask him what was happening and what they'd been doing etc to rule out over stimulation and over tiredness, and I think he panics which makes Jake worse. My argument is Jake does it for me too (not very often, but he does) and I don't ring him about it all the time, and he can go out on his own any time he likes and I can't. His is that he works all day (like I don't)and the last thing he wants is to have a crying baby all night. I asked him if he wants me to stop work, he says no. What can I do? HELP!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 10:52am
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I forgot to add, he had NO hands on with his 13 year old son, his ex wife liked to do it all, so I guess he feels like he has 2 left feet. I try to get him to help with bathing, getting him up etc, and I express so he can bottle feed, which goes well if I'm not there, but it is hard when he isn't there, or is on the garden or whatever.
He gets so angry with me when I can't just walk out of a busy restaurant, I need to organise cover. It would be way different if it was something serious, but I know it's just him panicking. GGGRRRRRR!  ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 11:02am
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Willie was the same when Maya was tiny, and I was so paranoid that I would never leave her with him. She would scream as soon as he picked her up, so he absolutely refused to go near her.
With us it was just a matter of time and patience, I basically forced Willie to hold Maya and talk quietly to her and rock her while she screamed at him, while I stood nearby. That way she still felt the security of me being there. By about 7-8 months she was over it and quite happy to go to Daddy. I Had issues with leaving her with him for ages tho, I would have to put her to bed and sneak out or else she would play up. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 11:32am
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I'm a little afraid of things being the other way round for us. Jono has his two kids from his first marriage, and is a really fantastic father. I'm worried that he won't let me do things my way, and will make me do things the way he used to do them in the past. I certainly don't mind being given advice or direction, but want to learn for myself. I'm unsure how to broach this subject without sounding like I think he's a bossy britches! Also, how do you prioritise the things that need to be strictly enforced? EG for me, table manners are a biggie, and I am constantly reprimanding Becca and Anton for their atrocious manners at the dinner table. But to Jono, as long as they are well behaved it's enough. I know we need to work as a team, but I can't see that we will always agree on the things that are important... aaaaaaaaargh, starting to freak out now! ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 1:17pm
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I'm hearing you, I was going to start a link about stepparenting, because I think it is the hardest job int he world. My 13yr old stepson is a little brat, very very spoilt, and my husband is the same as yours, as long as he's well behaved (yeah right). I'm big on manners and respect, and seem to be constantly arguing with him about this, its a nightmare, it's like having a 2 year old and a baby. I realise alot of it is him just being a teenager, i'm not that old that I have forgotten how the world revolves around you when you're 13, and I know some of it is probably jealousy as well. Ahh, so hard!!! I was worried about being told how its done, too, like you, but it hasn't happened at all, which is a relief! In fact I had no idea he hadn't been allowed (his words not mine) to be hands on with #1 until last week, when in exasperation, I asked him how he had coped back then. How old are your step children, and who else is a step parent? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 1:19pm
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I have to say, though, in Rods defence, he is an Awesome Dad! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 2:12pm
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My stepchildren are 9 and 5, and I love them to pieces. There are things that drive me mad though, and I'm not sure if it's because I am too hard on them, or if it's because they are behaving as badly as I feel they are. I certainly don't expect perfection, and I do realise they are just kids, but it's things like Becca who is 9 not being able to eat with a knife and fork and stuffing as much food in her gob as possible to avoid having to cut things up.... And Anton only wanting to eat junk food, spitting food back on to his plate when he doesn't like it, telling lies and stealing lollies from the fridge. Things that to me are non-negotiables. I don't want to cross the line with the discipline, and I think really it's up to Jono to do the bulk of it, but he lets them do things that I SOOOOOO would not, and I never know what to say or do. What kind of role do you take in your step son's life Annie?? How do you cope with things??? ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 2:30pm
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I have to admit, i have had screaming stomping feet tantys!!! I don't have much back up from his mother, as she has been running me down to him, so that just undermines things, although that is all changing as she and her husband are having problems, too. I think I am harder on him than hubby is, because my standards and Non negotiables are high, and hubby is far more permissive than I am (for instance, i dont think it is neccasary for a 13 year old to be going "out" at night to town or to hang out at Mcdonalds etc). I don't discipline as such, but I can ban him from using the computer, which I do alot, and hubby had gotten harder on him at my nagging. We only argue about him, and I ws ready to leave when I was 7 months preg from the problems! I just try to stay calm and talk about it with hubby, telling him my expectations and we meet somewhere in the middle. At the end of the day, my big rule is Adults are in charge, not the kids. Hubby finds it easier to give in than fight about it but I say that causes more probs in long run. Stick to your guns! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 2:57pm
I'm hearing you with the stomping feet tanty's!! I have had some doozies, and almost walked out a couple of times. The issue that has us arguing the most is money. Jono pays a HUGE amount in child support, I mean HUGE - more than half his monthly salary, and it's a private arrangement so no chance of a tax credit for us.... This means that we often have to go without in order for us to meet this obligation. I don't begrudge his children this money, but I have to admit it upsets me when I have to save up for a month to buy a pair of $50 pj's, and they turn up on the weekends at our place with new clothes from pumpkin patch, shoes more expensive than I can afford for myself and reports of all the cool stuff they've been doing. It gets me down, and now with me unemployed, and a baby on the way, things are going to get harder, and quite frankly I'm afraid I'm really going to lose the plot if we have to buy old secondhand stuff for this baby while his other children get the best of everything....  There!! I've said it!! Do I sound horrible???------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 3:09pm
| no it sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I mean, he should support his other kids, as he is doing, but not at your, and the new babies expense. |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 3:15pm
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No you don't sound unreasonable I have the same issues, although we don't pay as much as it sounds like you do! Thats why i'm working because i get annoyed when #1 turns up here wearing new $160 sneakers and $90 tee shirt, and I have to laybuy everything!!! I don't ever spend that amount on myself or Jakey. Also, when I aske him not to do something (like this weekend, not to light fireworks at our place) he always replys is Jake allowed to? will you let jake etc. GRRRR ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 3:18pm
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Ah the joys of being a stepmother I think teenagers are a bit of a nightmare in general though - remember??! Keep strong though, it will get better. That's what I keep telling myself!! ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 3:31pm
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He he. My mum reckons that although i was a "dream" teenager (good makrs at school, never in trouble etc) I was harder than my 2 tearway brothers, because teenage girls are SOOOOO dramatic! Ah well, at least step parenting is a bit of a how not to lesson for us, and I guess we just have to accept that everyones views on parenting are different, and its finding a comprimise thats the key i think... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 9:19pm
| Clare, has your hubby considered going through IRD instead? Then he won't have to have arguments with kid's mother about payments. I don't know how much the difference is but it sounds like he is paying a ridiculous amount!!! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 01 November 2005 at 9:52pm
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I have to say, we do a private arrangement instead, and it is less than IRD calculated, which was over half my hubbys earnings as well, not taking into account any expenses we might have. Its not that we begruge the money, its just a little unrealistic in some circumstances, although, Clare, it might pay to find out? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 7:09am
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I agree you should check with inland revenue again and let them know you are expecting a child. My sisters ex was paying a huge amount of child support and the second they had a child it dropped by almost half. So it may pay to check it out. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 8:37am
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Yeah, I think we may have to. It's hard though as I don't want him to think I'm taking anything away from his other children, but provisions need to be made for our one. It's all pretty tense at our place at the moment ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 9:15am
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Well he has another child on the way so it's not just his other kids he has to provide for..
Even if you do something like (just going to chuck figures around as I dont know how much child support is!!) $100 per child per week (including bubs) goes into a bank account - then the money in bubs account can be for clothes / nappies / formula etc... and the other children are still being "provided" for. With the likes of buying a cot etc - sort something out now (put money in babies account - put things on layby) We put everything for Arna on Layby and had it paid off 3 weeks before she was due.. Sorry for the novel!! All the best ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 9:22am
Yes, I have been thinking about Layby and I think that might be the way to go. And that baby account thing is a great idea Will look in to doing that! I'm sorry if my posts have sounded all negative girls! Been feeling pretty wonky these last couple of days  ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 9:57am
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Its okay to feel like that, after all, it is mother instinct to put their own child ahead. We had the same tensions in our house, but it mostley came from me, worrying about how we would cope without my wages. Turns out it's working ok, we just have to be more carefull, and Hubby has to put his foot down more when his ex wants halves for a $100 cycle helmet when a $40 one would do the same job. I "suggested" to him that he find a common ground with is older son as to what we find acceptale to pay for something, and he would have to earn or ask his mother for the rest. IE we would pay up to $40 for a tee shirt (well, I wouldn't, but I remember about being a teenager was all about having the "right" gear)and he wanted a $70 one, then we would just give him the $40 and he finds the rest. I think if his mum wants to buy expensive gear, and she can't affors it on what we give her, then she has to prioritise. I realise it's different in your situation with the childrens ages. It is so tough, because if you say anything about it, it looks like you are taking away from the others. hhhmmm. Chin up, chicky! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 10:14am
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You're wonderful I've really been a bit of a mess these last couple of days and your advice has been so great. I know we'll sort this out, but it's bigger than the both of us at the moment. I know I just have to try and look at things rationally rather than emotively, which is what I've been doing lately. I really appreciate your advice and help. ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 02 November 2005 at 10:23am
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No worries! I was at the exact stage of pregnancy as you are this time last year, Jake was due on the 10th of June. And I had only just found out I was pregnant a year ago tomorrow! The hormones etc are still fresh in my mind, not to mention the stress of being the "woman who carries the child who will take away from my children" evil witch. Money is such a terrible thing to fight about, and I have to say, the only things hubby and I really ever argue about is his first son, and throwing ridiculous amounts of money at him. I got this great magnet from a good friend when I first became pregnant and it says "Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end." I try to keep that in mind when the going gets tough! Big hugs to you! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 05 April 2006 at 9:27am
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up you go.... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 05 April 2006 at 9:59am
| Men are so annoying sometimes, i mean what is with the whole "we have to stop spending so much since the baby will be here soon" and then the next thing i know he wants a $200 rear spoiler for his car?! WTF?! *RRAANNTT* |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 05 April 2006 at 10:13am
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LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 05 April 2006 at 6:02pm
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I guess I'm lucky Roland is the financial brains of the family, or rather he's the planner and I'm the do-er ! We balance out pretty well, and have agreed on most things so far, I think he's going to be an awesome dad but try not to look at life post-baby with too much of a rosy tint.
We actually have a running "joke" of sorts that he is the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) and I am the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of Bird Enterprises Inc.
ANYWAY... I think we should revive the photo function of this thread as well, as some of the links to photos are now broken - and I'm not fussed if you've posted one of your man already, post the same one, an old one, a new one, just post a pic !!
That's at our wedding of course, I *think* it was just after he had said his vows. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 05 April 2006 at 6:50pm
oki!
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Posted By: Carmel
Date Posted: 05 April 2006 at 9:46pm
At brother inlaws wedding Feb 2006
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Posted By: Carmel
Date Posted: 05 April 2006 at 9:47pm
| Oops something went wrong with pic but you can still see it |
Posted By: Karysta
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 7:30am
My bubba and her dad at the beach |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 9:38am
Nathaniel and Josiah, sharing some chips ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 10:57am
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hope this works! its my darling hubby on our wedding day :) he is so gorg! ( says me lol) [IMG] ok, i cant get it to work, so here is the link to the album - if anyone can put a pic up, you are most welcome to do so! http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/scottlilphotos/album?.dir=/d62e&.src=ph - wedding pics ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 11:38am
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WOW Lyla...beautiful photos....I just LOVE your wedding dress...so unusual....very very nice!
A very nice pair indeed. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 1:24pm
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I love this thread ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 2:26pm
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By the way Ana....your pics are not showing up...wonder why? I loved your pics! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 2:56pm
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Wow, Xanthes mum! You are right about your hubby!!
You are a beautiful couple and your wedding pics are fantastic! Looks like you had a great day! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 4:09pm
ooops, will have to post new ones when Peter gets the photo thingies up and running again   ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 8:07pm
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wow what a butitful weeding dress i love the colour ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: deharn
Date Posted: 06 April 2006 at 8:22pm
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what absolutely gorgeous wedding photo's xanthesmum!!! Your dress is just divine and your flower girs are very cute too.
I felt like a princess on my wedding day and when I got the photo's thought I lokked like one as well. 2 years on though I look at them and realise I was just a bit too caught up in the excitement of it all as I really didn't look as good as I 1st thought.
Regardless it was just the most amazing time of my life and my honeymoon was the best time. |