Step families
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=10253
Printed Date: 08 October 2025 at 4:35pm
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Topic: Step families
Posted By: Emmecat
Subject: Step families
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 5:03pm
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Hi everyone Just wondered if there are any other posters who belong to stepfamiles or blended families? Especially if there are any folk who have had a new baby added to the mix! -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 5:34pm
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I have a SD who is now 14 and 3 SS's aged 26, 22 and 18. None of them live with us now, but my SD did when I first had Maya. It was really tough, but then we had a fairly strained relationship from very early on, she resented me etc. etc. I did try to involve her in the pregnancy by taking her to scans etc. and she gets on well with Maya which is a good thing. My SS's are mostly indifferent, they love the girls (altho none of them have met the gremlins) but they're not really interested either way coz they're older and have their own lives, and one has a baby on the way of his own. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 6:50pm
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Yup I am a step mum to a 14 year old daughter also, I have known her since she was 3 she has never lived with us only stayed for the school holidays, since hitting teenage status we have not seen her much she is way too busy , My eldest adores her which is great but he does not spend much time with her, her choice, she has meet my youngest on about 4 ocassions. ------------- 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 6:59pm
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I met my husband when Kiya was 6 months old, and we have been married for 3.5 years now. We have the advantage that Nat is the only "Daddy" Kiya has ever known, but she does understand that she is not his biological daughter.
http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/article.aspx?ContentID=1559 - See here for my story, and http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/article.aspx?ContentID=1227 - see here for Nat's perspective  ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 7:49pm
| Yep - we have his, hers and ours and everyone seems to get along well. We have an 8 week old baby together, SD is 12, SS is 16 and DD is 12. |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 8:04pm
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I think it depends on your family dynamic.
I'm from a blended family and I love it. My stepmum is a lovely person who is so caring she will always have a special place in my heart. Unfortunately my brother did not hold the same views as me, he was a teenager (where I was just encroaching on becoming a teenager) when Dad met my SM and so he never got it at all. Very loyal to my mum but he did try, I think they just never got each other. SM sees things from a loving nurturing point of view and is very much a woman, very touchy feely mother earth type, very womanly the polar opposite of my Mum. And my brother is a lot like my Mum so didn't understand her at all. He was pretty upset when my SM conceived my little sister at 41, he even pulled out phrases like "Grow up!" and "You're too old!". They had been trying for ages and had actually given up when they got pregnant so they were pretty upset by his lash out of anger which is really sad. My brother has never bonded with my youngest sister and I think that it is fair to say that he has never bonded with any of my step siblings. I am not his biggest fan either, don't get me wrong, I love him but I just guess I don't understand him like the rest of my step family. So anyways, my reaction and my Step brother/sisters reactions were great. I was really excited for SM and I love my little sister so much, she really is a blessing and so lovely. I think my advice would be to talk it through with them and let them get their heads around it a little first. Talk to them about any concerns that they have and maybe build on that. We have a pretty strange family though! GL!  ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 9:00pm
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my Dh came into a ready made family but even though he was only 24 (taking on 2 kids that aren't yours at that age I think is pretty impressive) he had been the best 'dad' to my kids. I can't speak for him but I know he loves my kids and couldn't/wouldn't live without them. We have a baby together - which for the record do not call him their half brother. And we all have blended very extremly well. I am sure it was tough for Dh in beginning - he learnt the responcibilty with out the Bio (does that make sense?) He treats all the kids the same - as we had a discussion before we got pregnant with Rhyley that I didn't want him to treat his BIO child any differently which he hasn't. It was so lovely when we had Rhyley people would ask him ' So whats it like being a dad' his responce 'I was already a Dad'
probably different that your situation as They live with us and are 'my' kids rather than Dh kids. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 27 August 2007 at 10:05pm
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im a step mum to a 15.5 y/o and a mum to his (half) bro and (half) sis. Ihave found that stepparenting has its own special and unique challenges, especially when it comes to teenagers... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Kim
Date Posted: 28 August 2007 at 12:45am
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I have a 10 year old step-son and a 5 year old step-daughter and we have always gotten on really well. They adore Zac, (they haven't met Samara yet) and Zac adores them. We were in NZ for June and July and every day since we have been back in Saudi Zac asks about them every single day.
They have different mothers and we all get on really well. Their mothers let my family have them for weekends and last September they let my mother bring them over to Saudi for the school holidays. ------------- Zac Mark - 30.11.05 Samara Ailsa - 13.08.07 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 August 2007 at 8:32am
i would agree with that 1000% ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Peace wrote:Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 28 August 2007 at 8:45am
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Conor and I met DH when Conor was 4; we'd been through a pretty rough time before meeting him, so both of us were quite cautious. Conor didn't really accept him to begin with, and it made for a few teething problems. One day it just clicked, the 3 of us were spending a lot of time together, and they became friends. DH went away for 9 months on a trip that he'd organised before he met us.
When he came back he pretty much moved in straight away, it was interesting to say the least... we had to get to know each other all over again, and rebuild. I fell pregnant with Nyah, and made sure that Conor was totally involved in the pregnancy, I have to admit looking back I probably pushed him away for a little while, and it made things really tough for him. Now nearly 5 years on since she was born they are best buddies and spend alot of time together. DH and Conor have an ok relationship, and there are times when I feel like "piggy in the middle" but I try my best to leave them to sort their issues out. The only issue that I do have about everything is DH's parents and family, they have taken way to long to accept that Conor is Maori and that he isn't DH's son.. that probably sounds terrible, but they are a traditional family and it's not right in their eyes... I struggle with that every day. Apart from all that, I think our little family do ok. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 28 August 2007 at 9:57am
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Wow! That's wicked that so many of you have responded to my post- thank you, it really made me feel like there is some support out there should DP and I get pg! I come from a blended family myself- I was 13 when it happened and it was very difficult. I now love my stepfather to pieces and he has been a better Dad to me than my biological one- although of course I love him too, they're just polar opposites. My Step mum is nice too although I don't feel we have the same bond that my SF and I do...but she is alos very different fomr my mother, who is lovely and caring in every way. I also inherited stepbrothers, whom I've had little to do with (their choice). My current situation with my DP is that I don't have kids but he has 2, both under 8 and we all get on incrediably well (so far! touch wood!). There is also another child involved who is not his biological child but who he has helped raise so we will be looking after that little one full time soon as well. It's dfinately a blended family! We're both looking forward to a couple more additions over the coming years, I was just approaching it a little more cauitiously as I do appreciate the dynamic would be different- that's why its so great to hear your stories! Would love any more so keep them coming! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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But generally speaking things are pretty acrimonious in that department- I have been in a elationship before where this was not the case and it was a large contributing factor to the end of our relationship. I was a lot younger then though and probably less able to cope. Any of you have advice for that paticuar challenge with the ex's?