Other SIL (my brother's wife -- not to be confused with Evil SIL, who is my brother-in-law's wife) has sent me a frantic email saying that she's pregnant with #3. #2 will be one in November, and #1 is almost four, so to say that this pregnancy is unplanned is an understatement. She hasn't told anyone yet, not even my brother, and is freaking out because she knows my brother will be upset.

The thing is, my brother is in the military, and he's been trying to go to university for about six years now, and every time he starts a term of classes, he gets called up and sent to Iraq or Afghanistan or some other godforsaken place, and has to put his studies on hold. He's finally managed to complete one whole term of classes and is on to the second term, and he's desperate to get his degree.

I'm furious with her for trying to ask me what to do. How am I supposed to know? I'm not in her marriage. I hate being confided in by her, because she always wants me to take sides with her against my brother. So now I'm supposed to give her sage advice, assuage her fears, and help her figure out how to tell my brother she's accidentally pregnant again. Except I don't want anything to do with this situation at all. How can I bow out politely? Or am I stuck?

I'd be flattered that she felt close enough to me to confide in me.  when i found out we were pregnant i freeked out a bit and we were trying,  Maybe go around and listen but don't give any opinions and encourage her to talk to your brother, I'm not sure it'll be about takiing sides (only you will know this) as much at getting her head in order with a bouncing board that she can trust.

Yeeck... I think I'd go with something along the lines of doing TONS of listening and very little advice-giving!!  You could even just say that you don't want to give 'advice' or an opinion because you're not in her shoes so you just don't know.  Good luck!