My son hits me. HELP
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Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
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Topic: My son hits me. HELP
Posted By: EthansMummy
Subject: My son hits me. HELP
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 8:44pm
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Ethan is 13 months old and he has a bit of a temper. He throws things when he is not happy but for about the last month he has started hitting and headbutting me. Whether we are just reading a book or playing "wheres ethans nose". I don't know what to do. He generally headbutts when he is angry. I have been firmly pulling his hands down and saying don't hit mummy but he just laughs.
My mum looks after him during the day and he has hit her a couple of times. We don't smack ethan so I am not sure where he is getting it from. I just need any suggetions on how to stop him doing it. He also bits every now and then but not too often. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 8:48pm
| Telling him no we dont hit and maybe putting him on the ground away from you instead of just holding his hands.? thts what i do with toby - hes 2 and a bit of a hitter too. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 8:48pm
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This is something that you'll need to nip in the bud as soon as you can. Grab him, say in a firm voice that he's not to do that, and put him down away from you. I presume if you put him on one side of the room that he is well able to get back to you by himself? Do something like that, and he is able to come back to you (probably for a cuddle) when he is ready. But it just associates a very firm and not nice thing (being removed, no attention etc) with his hitting/biting.
It doesn't seem to matter whether you use it for discipline or not, kids just like to try out their hitting/kicking/biting strength.  -------------  |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 08 October 2007 at 9:51pm
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Jack did the same at that age. He also used to like grabbing big handfuls of my face. If he would do it we would say "no Jack that has really hurt mummy" and then putting him on the ground. If he laughed and thought that was funny we put him in the hallway for a minute or so. They stop it pretty quickly if you are consistent. We also showed him "nice and gentle" and taught him how to stroke and would really praise every time he did it.
If you notice him starting to get angry maybe try and distract him or show him a different way to let his anger out. |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 09 October 2007 at 8:03am
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We use time out in Charlottes bedroom because she is going through a hitting stage at the moment. She hates being separated from us and we only leave her for a minute or so. She knows why she was put in there when she comes out because we do the super nanny thing of getting down to her level and explaining why.
Its hard but by being consistent, it seems to work really well. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 09 October 2007 at 8:40am
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Thanks guys thats great.
RachandJack - he does that as well - grabbing handfulls of my face and pinches my nose. I do put him in the hallway and tell him why he is there when he plays with the TV and also other things so maybe I should do that with everything then he will know he is in trouble? ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 09 October 2007 at 2:57pm
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Yeah, another thing paft taught me was if you get down and explain it every time they think its great cos they get that extra bit of attention. If explaining isn't helping explain what kind of behaviour you want at the start of the day or every so often and say what will happen if he does it. Then just say time out or nothing at all and put him in there. When you let him out don't say anything but when he starts playing nicely then go up to him and give him a cuddle and say something like "mummy loves how well you are playing"
This approach worked a bit better for us but every kid is different 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 09 October 2007 at 5:55pm
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This is an interesting one. Elle has done this since she was very little...she laughs and hits me in the face. From a young age I said "please don't hit mummy, be gentle" I would then stroke her face and show her how to stroke mine.
Now however, she says "gentle" and hits me in the face! I think she thinks that gentle means hit! I may have to start putting her down and walking away I think. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Helen21
Date Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:25pm
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Miya hits my face or pulls my hair, from about 18mths we put her on the 'spot' for 1min, after the first day or two she knew she had to stay there so she would sit there and yell and scream until I said she could come and join in as long as she played nice.
We have found this worked really well, however she will stil sometimes do it when we are out because she knows the spot isn't there. I think whatever way you do it you need to let him realise if he hurts you on purpose then you don't want to hold play or cuddle him for a minute or two just so he knows you don't like it. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Chloe 12/7/03 Miya 5/11/05 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:35pm
| just wondering what kinda tv ethan watches - maybe nothing, but we didn't have sky connected for a while and the kids watched regulkar tv- i say watched, but really it\'s on as background noise as they play. anyway, i noticed a huge change in jake's behaviour - disney playhouse is okay, but when he watches normal tv he tends to copy them and get much more aggressive. |
Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 12 October 2007 at 2:52pm
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He doesn't really watch TV - it is generally going in the background but he doesn't sit and watch anything. he may watch the wiggles or playhouse disney but only for like 5 mins at the max.
------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 13 October 2007 at 2:09pm
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Olivia will hit when she is frustrated when she can not have my attention. Not saying that is of course why your son hits! But I have recently started to pretend to cry when she does it and it makes her HUGELY remorseful. I think that it is a really interesting phase... ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |